“What’s going on, Andy? Is this what you want to do with your life? Sleep all day long and hang out with the Criterion brothers?” – Funny Farm
How do I get a movie from 1988 to show up? Just say Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.
FYI – site getting hit last night by . . . something. Can’t respond to comments from the last two posts, so I will when I can.
I was wrong last month when I mentioned I had only one year to go in the 1980s, there are three. This one is 1988, and, going back through the list of movies I found, 1988 wasn’t particularly a great year. Although the corporatism that started to kill movies in the 1990s had started, it hadn’t hit fully. Some movies were still just fun.
As usual, the list isn’t in any particular order, my descriptions of plots are sketchy, and these aren’t necessarily the best movies, they’re just the movies on the list.
Beetlejuice – The original. Tim Burton makes the most beautiful movies, but unless someone is there to stop him from following his worst impulses, the movies are also very stupid. Someone kept Tim in a box, and he got a great performance out of Michael Keaton as the titular character, and Wynona Ryder was in it before she started being a nutty shoplifter.
Dead Heat – Treat Williams and Joe Piscopo play two cops in a buddy cop movie. The big twist? They’re dead and have been reanimated by a mad scientist so that they can commit zombie-cop robberies. The math seems to be a bit off on this one – if I could reanimate people, I’d probably be looking for a Nobel® Prize rather than committing petty heists with Joe Piscopo. Is it a comedy? Well, one of the character names is Roger Mortis. So, maybe, but the actual cop part gets in the way of the actual movie. The nice thing about this is that it got made even though it’s arguably awful – it’s awful in a good way, as in, “Let’s try this crazy idea” rather than awful in the 2024 “let’s make a woke corporate movie and preach girlboss leftie themes and if people don’t like it let’s call them racist” way.
The same hairy dude was in every generated image. Who knew that PEZ® and beards were related?
Willow – Not to be confused with the new Disney® series that was so bad that they vowed never to show it again to get a tax write-off, this is a story of a dwarf who comes from a village of dwarves and gets into a typical sword and sorcery adventure. Think of it as someone who wanted to do a Tolkien movie but didn’t have the film rights. It ended up being a fairly sweet and charming movie, and one of Val Kilmer’s best performances, ever. I liked it more than most people. Bonus: Joanne Whalley.
Big – Tom Hanks was getting ready to break out as an actual actor, and Big was a stepping stone for that direction, where he ended up playing a kid that made a wish to become an adult. But he was still a kid in his brain parts. Nowadays, this movie would have difficulty being made because Hanks (as a kid in an adult body) has sex with Elizabeth Perkins. Yeah. That didn’t age well. I haven’t checked on Elizabeth Perkins to see if she aged well, but, then found she was a brittle old feminist. Sigh. Looks like Tom dodged a bullet.
Funny Farm – This was an absolute box-office bomb, as I recall, but it is one of my favorite movies of all time. It’s essentially Green Acres without the Hungarian accent, but I just love that story, so I can watch nearly endless variations of it. In this case, sportswriter Chevy Chase gets an advance for a book, can’t write it, and steals his wife’s book, exhumes a dead body, tries to set a booby trap for a drunken mailman, and determines that he can live life without being a tool to everyone around him. Unlike the real Chevy Chase.
Is that Susan Sarandon in the middle?
Bull Durham – I put this on here primarily because it is a very good (not the best, but very good) baseball comedy. The Mrs. loves it, so, contractually I’m required to watch it when she watches it. It loses points for having Susan Sarandon associated with it and for being a bit too focused on the romance side of the equation. Best parts? Coach banter and bringing the word lollygagging back. Lollygaggers!
Die Hard – I don’t need to describe this one, since it’s a Christmas favorite. This move turned out perfectly, and was, perhaps, the zenith of 1980s action-adventure movies if you don’t count Predator™ and Terminator©. The twist? Putting an “everyman” into the role of hero. Remember, it’s not really Christmas until Hans Gruber falls off Nakatomi Tower! It is the best end for a movie, Hans down.
Is that Nakatomi Tower in the background?
A Fish Called Wanda – What if Monty Python® never broke up and did more movies? This is as close as you’re going to get to that dream. Fun and funny, and Kevin Kline absolutely steals the show (and an Oscar™) as Otto, a CIA hitman who quotes Nietzsche and believes “the central tenant of Buddhism is every man for himself”. Who knew Buddhists were libertarians? John Cleese plays John Cleese, and Jamie Lee Curtis, sadly, stays mainly clothed.
Vibes – Cyndi Lauper as a psychic stuck with also psychic Jeff Goldblum? Why not? The plot is odd and absurd, with Cyndi and Jeff travelling to the Andes. Yes. The movie involves all manner of silliness with the main focal point to set up odd situations where quirky-girl Lauper can bounce of straight-man Goldblum. Is it one of the best movies of Western Civilization? No. But it did make me laugh.
Tucker: The Man and His Dream – I’m not sure how much of this story is true, but it sounds like Tucker Carlson was trying to make a car after World War II. I’m not sure how this happened, but I think it might have something to do with time travel and Donald Trump’s uncle, John G. Trump, who was an electrical engineer and physicist, and the guy they brought in to steal evaluate Nikola Tesla’s notes so Trump could give them to Elon Musk. I think. Regardless, it was a pretty good movie about a car that certainly sounds like it would have been pretty good, though Tucker Carlson eventually gave up the dream and was later a journalist. You might have heard of him. Two thumbs up.
Young Guns – How much Bon Jovi do you need in a 1980s western? Just a little bit. It also stars the Sheen/Estevez brothers. So, it the singer and actors were all in need of blow driers, but the movie has also been hailed as relatively historically accurate tale of the life of Billy the Kid, with the exception that Kiefer Sutherland is actually only three feet tall, so they had to use a lot of perspective shots.
Oh, yeah, brother!
They Live – John Carpenter took a short story from 1963 and remade it into a politically biting science fiction film where aliens infiltrate and take over American society. Space aliens, not the aliens that eat ducks from the park. Anyway, the film is famous for an amazingly long street fight between Rowdy Roddy Piper and Keith David (not to be confused with David Keith). It is notable that the alien overlords are significantly nicer than the current Biden/Harris administration, so there’s that.
Scrooged – Another huge Bill Murray hit, and probably the definitive A Christmas Carol adaptation of my lifetime. Bill stars as a success-obsessed executive who takes the place of Scrooge. In a meta turn, he wants to do a live version of A Christmas Carol on Christmas for the ratings after saving Karen Allen from the Nazis. And it pulled in plenty of cash, making over $100 million on a $32 million budget. Not bad.
The Naked Gun – After Airplane!, there was a short-lived television show called Police Squad. It was hilarious, but most people don’t have a sense of humor so it was cancelled. Instead, the Zucker brothers resurrected Detective Frank Drebin and made a movie that made tons of money, and probably drove O.J. Simpson to murder since the script showed how easy it was to get away with murder.
This is way better than the original poster and has 100% more Nakatomi Tower.
Working Girl – This movie should have been the sequel to Die Hard where Sigourney Weaver teams up with Bruce Willis to defeat the German space aliens in a musical with Bill Murray singing the theme, backed by Bon Jovi and Lou Diamond Phillips. If only. I honestly don’t remember this movie at all, so my plot is probably superior to the real thing.
There it is. What did I miss?