Sith-Posting And “You Might Not Be An American If . . .”
“You underestimate my power!” – Revenge of the Sith

Why did Anakin® cross the road? To get to the Dark Side©.
About the memes: all of them are stolen from X®. Sometimes X© becomes fascinated with an idea, and then it explodes. This one is the idea that the Jedi® were the bad guys and that the Republic™ were the good guys, specifically Anakin© and his transformation into Darth Vader®.
Great creativity, and they’re generally not in any particular order with the text.

About the list: Most people have heard the Jeff Foxworthy routine, “You might be a redneck . . .” since at this point it’s nearly 40 years old. Really, it’s been that long. So, I thought I might riff off it a bit with my own spin.
They might not be an American if…
Their X® account has the flag of some other country.
They need a translator to vote and the burka keeps getting in the way.

The Fourth of July is just another day that the people who work to feed and house them get off as a vacation day.
When they say “My people” it doesn’t include you.
The flags they wave in a parade don’t have multiple stars.

They think the Constitution is best read in its original language, you know, Spanish, Arabic, or Hindi.
English is a language they haven’t learned even though they’ve been here for 25 years.
They can name every holiday back home but go blank on Memorial Day.

That country they had to leave because it was too dangerous? They vacation there.
They can’t pronounce that hateful word “Assimilation”.
They refuse to eat a bacon cheeseburger.

Their idea of civic participation is showing up for welfare and then voting for other Somalians.
They crossed the border and immediately started arguing that the border shouldn’t exist and that they are the real Americans.
The only American history they know is the part that justifies their grievances.

They call this place “theirs” but keep a one-way ticket home as a viable option.
Their kids are technically American on paper but are something else in practice.

They treat the Constitution like a menu rather than a limit on government.
“Rule of law” and freedom from corruption is what they demand from others.
They still vote not for party or principle, but for their own people.
They think the Pledge of Allegiance is haram.

They think our founding documents are just “suggestions from dead racist white guys.”
They can recite the rules of cricket or FIFA soccer but not the three branches of government.
Their version of the American Dream is welfare, remittances, and chain migration.
“Their rights” start the moment they cross and “having responsibilities” is considered oppression.

They measure success by how much they can extract and send home rather than how much they can build here.
They understand the benefits of the system without understanding the culture that produced it.
Their grandchildren speak the language of the place they left more fluently than English.

They consider criticism of mass immigration “hate” instead of math.
Their community association is organized by old-country caste first.
They arrived and immediately demanded the rules be changed to match their home country.
They think that anyone who objects to them being here is racist.

They root for their national soccer team rather than the American one, worse, they actually care about soccer.
They crossed illegally and then lecture citizens about compassion.
Their idea of freedom is the freedom to recreate the place they escaped.
They need a separate cultural center because the American one isn’t “theirs.”
“American” is a status they claim and a culture they reject.

Their children are taught that America is the problem, not the opportunity.
They measure progress by how many relatives they can bring over and get hired at Microsoft©.
“Integration” is what Americans are supposed to do for them.
They don’t understand that “We the People” does not include people who just got here.
They think “citizenship” is a transaction.

The only history they accept is the history that flatters their group.
They think the rule of law is what Americans owe them, not what they owe.
They arrived and immediately started organizing for more arrivals.

They treat American institutions as resources to be captured rather than maintained.
They think dual allegiance is normal and exclusive allegiance to the United States is extreme.

They think that “assimilation” is what other people should do.
Their version of diversity is everyone else changing to suit them and their culture.

They think “American values” are whatever values make it easier for more people from their group to arrive.
They still send money home while collecting services here.

The only American traditions they observe are the ones that pay with an EBT® or direct deposit.
They think “integration” means Americans learn their language and customs.

They think the American identity is whatever identity they brought with them.
The only American principles they fully accept are the ones that benefit their group.

They arrived and immediately started arguing that the founding of the United States was illegitimate.
They think that “illegal” was a temporary inconvenience on the way to permanent status.
They claim that a poem on the Statue of Liberty is the basis, somehow, for a national policy.

Yeah, my Jeff Foxworthy routine wouldn’t get a lot of laughs, and would probably get me arrested in England. That’s okay, we’ll always have Anakin.






































































































