Truth – Page 17 – Wilder, Wealthy, and Wise

12 Rules For Life: Return of the Jordan (Final Part of the Review Trilogy), Charles Atlas, The Simpsons . . . and Being a Man, The Definitive Review

“No. Not yet. One thing remains. Vader. You must confront Vader. Then, only then, a Jedi will you be. And confront him you will.” – Star Wars: Return of the Jedi

The Boy in full Vader get up. He looked at me and said, “You are my Father, John Wilder. Can I have more cake?” and then force-choked me when I said no, three pieces was enough. So I cut off his hand. That’s good parenting where I come from . . .

As promised, this is the final part of my book review for Dr. Jordan Peterson’s new bestseller, “12 Rules for Life.” You can find the first part here (LINK) and the second part here (LINK). Quotes, if not otherwise noted, are Peterson from the book. Sorry for the delay – the flu was busy attempting to eat my lungs. I’m better now.

I strongly recommend this book – and get no money if you buy it at this time – in the future, who knows?

Rule 9: Assume That The Person You’re Listening To Knows Something You Don’t

If you listen, most people are really not boring. Okay, some are. But they are mainly parents of children who haven’t graduated from high school and anyone from Iowa. Everybody else is interesting. Dr. Peterson talks about how he sat down with a woman, and within minutes she was telling him she was a witch. And not only that, a witch whose coven regularly got together and prayed for global peace – a world peace witch. By day? She was a minor bureaucrat; I imagined a driver’s license lady. Not who you’d size up to be a witch. Oh, wait. EXACTLY who you’d size up to be a witch.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve interviewed lots and lots of people for my job. I was never bored once. But I had people blurt out amazing things in the interview. “I got fired for stealing.” I was hiring for a position that had lots of financial responsibility, and maybe kinda lax oversight. No job there. “I hated my co-workers.” Yup. Big points for working well with others. Again, people will tell you amazing things if you just shut up and listen. Dates were interesting, too. Had one date where the girl’s plan was to go off and find herself in the Peace Corps after she’d just gotten out of a relationship with her husband who had buried a bus so he could grow illegal weed. Yeah, that night was an early exit.

But few enough actually listen (I’ve been guilty of that myself, lots of times) without responding – i.e., defining the problem for the speaker. Even worse is defining the situation for the speaker – Peterson discussed a woman who was unsure if she had been raped after continually getting drunk and going home with guys. He could have defined it as “yes” or “no” for her but that would have prevented her from sorting it out herself, which was crucial to helping her. He used this example to point out that being too intrusive in a conversation often warps it in a manner that changes the framework for the other person . . . and prevents them from getting better.

Peterson listens, because his theory is that people talk to simulate their reality. Humans are the only critters that do that – simulate entire worlds with our words and model the results of present actions into the future. When we run these simulations, we often simulate the words and behavior of others – I know I have a pretty accurate simulation of The Mrs. running. It’s over 98% accurate. The Mrs. likewise has one of me, too. We have tons of conversations with each other without even speaking to each other, because the other just our simulation.

Honest listening – turning off the simulator – is required for real conversation. Our filters and feedback contaminate the discussion. Once we get to that honest listening stage, we can have Real Conversations – Conversations where we truly hear each other and can create new knowledge, and sometimes solve our own problem.

Rule 10: Be Precise In Your Speech

Dr. Peterson begins with a discussion of the coming obsolescence of laptops. Most of our laptop experience is located outside of the laptop – it’s only a “single leaf, on a tree, in a forest . . .” Our laptops feed from all of the other computers out there – from the Facebook© servers to the wonderful servers that bring you Wilder, Wealthy and Wise and that Japanese cooking site you don’t want your wife to see that you’ve been to visit after she goes to bed so you can dream about sushi. Those exist outside of your laptop – and your laptop only pulls information from them.

But we don’t inhabit that forest. We inhabit a simplification of that world. In our world where we give objects purpose and meaning – we don’t let them simply exist – we give a car purpose – it must take us from one place to another. A light switch ceases to just exist – it gives us light, and in a blackout part of us is shocked (pun intended) when the switch doesn’t bring us light. Peterson feels that precision is required so we down drown in the vast amount of detail that surrounds us.

Our model gums up when violated. I used a light switch – Peterson uses a cheating spouse – inviting Chaos in. Peterson then pops some Yeats in the CD player for good measure:

The Second Coming, by W.B. Yeats

Turning and turning in the widening gyre

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all conviction, while the worst

Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;

Surely the Second Coming is at hand.

The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out

When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi

Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert

A shape with lion body and the head of a man,

A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,

Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it

Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.

The darkness drops again; but now I know

That twenty centuries of stony sleep

Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,

And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,

Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

Speech is required to sort this chaos out, to make sense of it, to dispel it. A night light might also be nice to scare the rough beast away?

“Say what you mean so you can find out what you mean. Act out what you say so you can find out what happens.”

Rule 11: Do Not Bother Children When They Are Skateboarding

Skateboarders are pretty talented, and Peterson spends some time discussing their skill, and the methods by which they optimize risks, which is crucial, Peterson felt, to growing as a man. Unfortunately (in Peterson’s opinion) there are adults who what to spoil all the fun by putting in features that make skateboarding impossible while also looking ugly at the same time.

Those adults are then (at least by proximity in the chapter) compared to a friend that Peterson had. Peterson’s friend (also discussed in earlier chapters) had a problem: he hated mankind. He came to no good, making himself a victim at every turn, and learning to hate beautiful, successful people. They seemed to make him even madder. Dr. Peterson then followed up with a description of a TEDx talk by a professor . . . who also hated the human race. These self-appointed judges spoil the fun . . . and the risk.

And the result? Boys are being pushed out. 25% of college degrees granted are in the fields of healthcare, psychology, education, and public administration. 80% of these degrees go to women. Peterson feels that this is Not Good. If projections hold, there will be very few men in non-STEM fields in the next few years. And this is bad for women.

Huh?

How many college-educated women consider, say, a plumber a great catch? Some, to be sure, but not many. When it comes to marriage, women tend to marry someone either at the same social/economic status or of a higher status. As those guys disappear?

Marriage becomes something for the rich. The rest of the girls get hookups in their twenties, and a basket of cats when they hit 33. If they have kids, the results are similarly grim – because single parent families are statistically inferior in every way to dual parent families. So those rich kids? Yeah, life will be better for them. Because they have two parents.

Maybe patriarchy isn’t so bad? Feminism is a creation of Marxism (per Jordan), and between that and post-modernist thought – we’re trying to fundamentally remake civilization in ways that may not be as stable as civilization created over the last 11,000 years or so. And Marxism led to Stalin, Mao, and Pol Pot. And that idea became the most deadly idea of the entire 20^th century – killing more people, primarily their own citizens than any other idea.

Peterson REALLY doesn’t like Post Modernism, either, since it’s a philosophy that says there’s no truth and makes the claim “that logic itself is a merely a part of the oppressive patriarchal system.”

Boys are boys, but society is trying to force them to be girls, per Peterson. Which is really, really wrong. Biology is a huge part of what makes a boy act like a boy, and a girl act like a girl. Then, a large amount of (enjoyable) discussion about ancient gods and Disney© animated movies.

Then we get back to Peterson, talking about when he worked on a railway crew. Peterson uses these (amusing) stories about men and how they want particular behavior from other men: Do your job. Don’t whine. Don’t be a suck up. What to men want and value from other men? “Be tough, entertaining, competent and reliable.”

The above ad is from comic books, literally all comics books, of the 1950’s and 1960’s. I sent away for as similar set of books. You, too can learn Karate for only $19.95. If you can learn karate by yourself from a book. With a poor work ethic.

Peterson (really) feels that the Charles Atlas ad captures a lot of human sexuality in seven panels. Women want tough men. It’s here that he combines The Simpsons and Fifty Shades of Grey in the same hilarious paragraph. Lisa Simpson doesn’t want Milhouse, dude, she wants a kinky billionaire. Or that bad kid from Springfield Elementary. Or a dude that will keep you safe on the beach.

Because women want men. Tough men. And you get men through risk. Through . . . skateboarding.

Rule 12: Pet A Cat When You Encounter One On The Street

Peterson baits and switches here – starting with a discussion on dogs. But he brings back to cats, and also to the theme of the chapter – human suffering. It will literally suck to be a human. People die. People suffer, sometimes horribly and inexplicably. But, somehow, Superman™ needs Kryptonite© – this suffering makes life, well, not interesting, but certainly not fake.

It’s a worthy chapter, and my summary is short because I’m not one to use Peterson’s tough times, and I rarely write about my own. I’ll give you my bullet point summary:

Dogs are Happy
Cats have Terms and Conditions for Love
Enjoy Both Dogs and Cats – They Have Purity of Being
Because Life Sucks

CODA: Not The Led Zeppelin Album

Peterson caps it off – again, buy the book. I’ll just ask you – what do you want for yourself tomorrow? What about next year? Who could you be if you really tried?

So, that’s it. It’s a pretty long review, and I’m glad you stuck it out this far.

Pluses of the book? Amazing philosophical content. Easy read. Original thoughts.

Downside? Chapters could be more evenly edited to tie the content together, and follow the old rule – tell ‘em what you’re gonna tell ‘em, tell ‘em, tell ‘em what you told ‘em. There are several chapters that I read a second time after about a week to write this review, and being prepped with the previous read and knowing what to look for, I enjoyed the chapters much more. Maybe this review will act as a guide you can use when you go through it to look for more content that sparks your interest.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Peterson also dictated this book – many of the passages sound like speech turned into text, though I might be wrong since I’ve heard a LOT of Peterson speaking but very little of his written stuff.

Overall verdict: totally recommend it. Best way ever to confront Vader. And then the Ewoks burned my copy – because they stopped making Star Wars® in 1983. Wonder what would have happened if they had made a sequel or two? I’m glad they never did.

Climate Change, Solar Output, Ice Ages, The Planet Vulcan, And Old Guys With Beards

“That’s the human body raising its core temperature to kill the virus. Planet Earth works the same way. Global warming is the fever. Mankind is the virus. We’re making our planet sick. A cull is our only hope.” – Kingsman: The Secret Service

Pugsley and sand. Yup. Hot day. Probably the influence of planet Vulcan!

The calculations proved it. The planet Mercury’s orbit wasn’t quite right. It was really, really close. Really close. But not quite. How close? If my calculations are right, Mercury was 28 miles from where it should have been. Given its orbital velocity, that was one second. One second in 88 days. And this error was found in 1843. According to the accepted physics theories, this was proof of . . . another planet!

Samuel Schwabe: Though not commonly known, all astronomers in the 1840’s were also expected to play linebacker at a moment’s notice, hence, Schawbe appearing in full shoulderpads.

This was just the sort of proof that German astronomer Samuel Schwabe was waiting for. In the previous 17 years, Schwabe had dutifully recorded the sunspots on every clear day. He wanted to be able to pick out a new planet that people believed was inside the orbit of Mercury. Heck, they were so sure it was there they even gave it a name after the god of fire – Vulcan.

Not this kind of Vulcan, silly.

But Schwabe never lived long enough to see the discovery of Vulcan (although it was reliably spotted several times in the late 1800’s) because it doesn’t exist. But Schwabe did notice (for the first time) that the number of sunspots varied over time. After 17 years, he predicted that the Solar Cycle was about 10 years in length. He was close – but it’s closer to 11. This discovery was picked up by Swiss astronomer Rudolf Wolff (what a cool name, right?)

Rudolf Wolff: Is it just me, or does he have the beard and hair of an NFL assistant coach?

Wolff began counting sunspots as well, but also gathered information on sunspot activity from all over Europe, as far back as he could – 1610. Wolf also looked at the data and determined that Sunspots impacted Earth’s own magnetic field. Wolff’s work validated Schwabe’s theory, and Schwabe was honored with the Royal Astronomical Society’s Gold Medal, the same one that Einstein and Sir Fred Hoyle (LINK) would later win (I’ve got two in my closet somewhere, I think).

CC-SA:3.0 – Robert Rohde

So, a dude named Gustav Spörer discovered a period nearly zero sunspot activity – naturally, they named it the Maunder Minimum after the NEXT people to talk about it, Edward and Annie Maunder.

Edward and Annie aren’t that interesting, but the Maunder Minimum was – especially since we discovered other things . . . like the impact the great thermonuclear reactor in the sky has on temperature. High sunspot activity correlates to higher solar output. I wish it correlated to me having more hair.

CC-SA:3.0 – Robert Rohde

Which makes sense if you look at other data, like this from the IPCC’s first report:

Clearly, it was colder when there were fewer sunspots. Is that enough? No, there are some pretty other significant adders to the climate picture (though none are larger than the input from the Sun). Other things that really matter?

Well, CO₂ has been increasing – that’s for certain. And, CO₂ is a greenhouse gas. That’s for certain, too, otherwise the Earth would be too cold for life.

And as the temperature goes up, (maybe due to, say, solar output?) then the ability of the oceans to store CO₂ goes down. Cool us off with, say, a new Maunder Minimum? Yeah, then the CO₂ that can be stored in the oceans goes . . . up again.

And the CO₂ balance isn’t very far off from balanced.

But climate is determined by a batch of things – such as the current oscillations of the North Atlantic current, the amount of Bavarian-produced PEZ®, and our Sun’s output. The mere fact that no one can explain why we have ice ages should tell you that climate science is exceptionally incomplete – it’s as if physics couldn’t explain why STOP signs are octagons.

In the last 500,000,000 years of the existence of the Earth, the climate has been pretty steady.

CC by SA 3.0, Glen Fergus

And as I looked at the graph, I noticed two data points at the end, showing projections via a mathematical model. Certainly, they’re still in the realm of habitable. But are they real?

Probably not. Climate predictions have systematically overestimated the amount of global warming over time.

Via https://judithcurry.com/2015/12/17/climate-models-versus-climate-reality/

But when I hear people on NPR® talking about climate, what I hear is a lot of panic. It’s as if the world sits on a global climate hill, and the people of Earth, dressed in clown suits no doubt, are nudging it downslope, where it will go out of control and fry us all. But 500,000,000 years of climate history says that won’t happen. And the resources that are to be diverted? What could they do to make all of humanity wealthier with all of the money being spent on Global Warming?

Back to Vulcan.

It doesn’t exist. At all. The 28 mile gap? It’s real, but the reason it exists is because of the gravitational well that bends space time – Einstein hadn’t yet explained that mass bends space . . . and time. So given the mathematics and theories of the day, there had to be a planet. The observations that showed a planet? Maybe it was aliens or asteroids? Godzilla?

So, a strong consensus of astronomers had a belief in Vulcan. No other ideas made sense. So, one could say that there was a strong scientific consensus, but it was based on ignorance of physical facts. And, congratulations to the New England Patriots, Super Bowl LII champs by consensus! Point spread was 4.5 in favor of the Pats, so they won, right?

My concern remains that there is a group of people, with almost religious fervor, who feel mankind is the source of all that is wrong in the world, the source of all that is bad. The end point of their philosophy is a hatred of mankind. We are all that is wrong with the world. The irony is many of them are atheist, just replacing one religion and sin with another. And many see climate change as a method to extract political power (and money) from the world as a whole. I do recall that in the 1970’s that the next thing we’d see was . . . another ice age.

But we are not. All light, all love, all beauty has been either made by us or recognized by us. There’s no evidence a badger ever stopped and said, “Hey, beautiful sunset.” Nope. Without a human recognizing it, it doesn’t occur. Badgers have notoriously poor aesthetics.

And large amounts of the CO₂ went to feeding humanity. Who decides who will suffer, sacrifice, and die so we can spend money to be carbon neutral, when there is some evidence that solar output is declining and might lead to a climate that’s actually colder, longer term (LINK)? I’m sure somebody will be able to pin that on people.

You can see that solar output is declining. Perhaps it’s a conspiracy?

Besides, our robot overlords after the singularity (LINK) won’t be all that tied to temperature. They’ve got air conditioning . . . maybe solar powered?

12 Rules For Life: The Peterson Strikes Back (Book Review Part II, Episode 5)

“Search your feelings, Lord Vader. You will know it to be true. He could destroy us.” – Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

The Boy and Pugsley engaged in an epic Lightsaber® battle. At the end, The Boy cut off Pugsley’s arm and said “You are my brother, Pugsley, join me and we’ll rule our parent’s house . . . together.”

As promised, there is the second part of my book review for Dr. Jordan Peterson’s new bestseller, “12 Rules for Life.” You can find the first part here (LINK). The third and concluding post is here (LINK).

You can bet I won’t call it “The Peterson Awakens.”

Rule 5: Do Not Let Your Children Do Anything That Makes You Dislike Them

Children, are, perhaps the only legacy many people will leave on this Earth after they die. Some parents are horrible and provide no limits to their children, creating tiny toddler tyrants, rather than children people like to be around. You have seen these children. You despise them. Yet they exist. Why?

Increasing divorce rates since the 1960’s increases the severity of this problem, creating fractured families. Peterson blames a LOT on the 1960’s: “. . . a decade whose excesses led to general denigration of adulthood, an unthinking disbelief in the existence of competent power, and the inability to distinguish between the chaos of immaturity and responsible freedom.”

See, I told you he was Dangerous.

This is the opposite of the nihilistic (at its core) “if it feels good, do it” philosophy that stems from Aleister Crowley’s “do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.” Which was written by this guy:

Wilder Rule #56: Hats make the man!

Here are some takeaways from this chapter.

Order is required – children want limits. But there can be too many rules as well, and parents are the key to sorting that out, as their interactions with their children determines the future of society. Parents seem to have difficulty imposing their will on their children.
Peterson: “Two year olds, statistically speaking, are the most violent of people.” This cracked me up. But it’s true. And you have to tame them, either with rewards or punishment.
Is physical punishment acceptable? But only the minimum amount required. The world is filled with physical punishment – just check out any middle school fight.
You need two parents because being a single parent is a tough, tough job. Single parenting isn’t preferable – Dan Quayle was right, Murphy Brown was wrong.
Understand your weaknesses, your dark side as a parent.
Parents are simulators (for their children) of the real world. Use your efforts to make them “socially desirable.”

Peterson must be an interesting parent. But I assure you, growing up at his house wasn’t boring.

Rule 6: Set Your House in Perfect Order Before You Criticize the World

This is, so far, my favorite chapter (though the next one might be even more impactful). Although I expected this to be based on an outward focus, this is Dr. Peterson adapting and providing a more generalized version of his “clean your room” lecture.

“Clean your room” is Dr. Peterson’s advice to those who have issues. And, it’s literal, not just a silly metaphor or slogan. He wants you to clean your actual room. Why? A variety of reasons – but it’s a way to start you off realizing you can make the chaos in your life go away, if only you try. And cleaning a room, making it better, is something anyone can do. It’s not hard.

But in this chapter, Dr. Peterson starts at the basics of broken people. It’s a dark path. “Everyone is destined for pain and slated for destruction.” He takes us from mass shootings to serial killers to a suicidal Leo Tolstoy (The War and Peace author dude) who wouldn’t be around rope for a period of time, since he was pretty sure he was going to hang himself. Peterson takes us to these places, because it’s important to understand what brought them to this state.

A belief that the world lacked meaning.
Suffering (in some cases) horrific abuse at the hands of others.
A belief that God or the human race was evil.

Tolstoy, looking for all the world like a garden gnome wearing dominatrix boots.

Although Peterson starts with mass shooters, the same beliefs that led them down the road to hurting others causes some people to destroy not outward, but inward. Those beliefs are poison for the soul.

But some people, when confronted with a great evil, turn and face it right back, like Alexandr Solzhenitsyn. Dying of cancer, released in the nick of time for surgery to save him, Solzhenitsyn did what every good Soviet citizen did: he wrote critical articles and, eventually, a novella critical of the Soviet state. One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich was actually published in the Soviet Union. The Gulag Archipelago was published in the West. Solzhenitsyn won the Nobel® Prize© for his writing – writing dedicated to making his home country better by showing the true horror of the Soviet state. He turned what could have been bitter resentment into something that changed the world and toppled a totalitarian state.

Solzhenitsyn, looking dapper in his Soviet prison outfit, circa 1950. (image from http://www.solzhenitsyn.ru)

I went through a similar situation with my first marriage. It was constructed on mutual mistrust, and was painful for both of us. I used that experience to reflect on who I wanted to be, and used that experience to reflect on who I wanted to be, and used that . . . sorry, stuck. I figured out who I should be as a husband, and as a result? I became better than I was.

I got a better life out of my difficulties. Solzhenitsyn’s work helped end the Soviet system and made nuclear annihilation less likely and won a Nobel®. To-MAY-to, To-MAH-to.

But Dr. Peterson has a sure-fire (seriously) way to fix this: clean up your life. There are a large number of questions in this section that Peterson asks that you really think about. I’ll not repeat them all here, buy the book, cheapskate.

Peterson: “Start to stop doing what you know to be wrong.” Start to . . . because starting is the hardest part.

And how do you know if it’s wrong? Seems like if it feels good, you should do it, right?

Peterson: “Do only those things you can speak of with honor.”

And after you fix one thing? Another thing to fix will become obvious. And another. And another. After a while? You’ve fixed yourself. You’re useful.

Peterson: “You will be then left with the inevitable bare tragedies of life. But they will no longer be compounded with bitterness and deceit.”

Rule 7: Pursue What Is Meaningful, Not What Is Expedient

There is a LOT of philosophy in this book. And there is a LOT of the Bible. Peterson feels that the Bible itself is an “emergent” document – one that has properties that exceed its sum. It’s the distillation of thousands of years of stories culminating in the crucifixion and resurrection, honed and explained and shared until they have literally changed the way the Western world thinks (and paved the way for pesky things like science, freedom, liberty, and the abolition of slavery).

One emergent property is the idea that instead of instant gratification (which would allow you to lie, cheat, steal, and kill in the extreme) is replaced by delayed gratification. This delayed gratification can be Earthly in the Christian world, or it can be Heavenly. This ability to delay gratification is a significant difference between animals and humans and a defining part of Western civilization (though not exclusive to Western civilization).

Dr. Peterson explains that the delay of gratification can be compared to a bargain with reality. I can do something now-like lift weights-to create a future that I want to exist-being strong so I can drive my enemies before me and hear the lamentations of their women. No single weightlifting session makes me strong, it’s the sum of them that create the future state. But my actions, like magic, create a different future.

Honestly, Conan the Destroyer was better than this one. But the music was sublime.

As we begin the religious parallelism – the future is a “judgmental father” that wants you to sacrifice now, for a potential future gain. Sacrifice what, exactly? What limits are there to the sacrifice?

Maybe everything?

Peterson: “If the world you are seeing not the world you want, therefore, it’s time to examine your values. It’s time to rid yourself of your current presuppositions. It’s time to let go. It might even be time to sacrifice what you love best, so that you can become who you might become, instead of staying who you are.”

Powerful. And think to the parallel construction of God sacrificing Jesus to transform the human race. Just as Cain and Able had a sacrifice war, as Abraham was prepared to sacrifice his son, God swaps the equation and makes a sacrifice for us, so that we might be saved.

But, Peterson returns to Cain. Cain sacrifices. And sacrifices. And sacrifices. And God says: “meh.” So Cain kills. And that is the tragedy. Cain was not necessarily evil before he became a murder, but Dr. Peterson observes: “. . . convictions must die – must be sacrificed – when the relationship with God has been disrupted.”

In this battle between the now and the future, proper action must be based on honesty, and generosity that is aimed at producing actions that make the world better – actions with meaning.

Rule 8: Tell The Truth, Or At Least Don’t Lie

I’ve mentioned (in some other post) before about The Mrs., and how I promised her (and, more importantly, me) that I would never lie to her. It gave me the power/ability/responsibility to bet truthful. “Do these pants make my butt look big?” is a question that she’s never asked me.

It’s almost as freeing as a superpower – the freedom to always be honest. One time in the B.C. (before cellphones) I was late coming home from work. Really late. It just so happens that the governor of the state of Alaska (not Palin, Murkowski) was next door talking to my boss. And there were at least three television stations broadcasting. I stayed until they left, and then went home:

The Mrs.: “Why are you late?”

John Wilder: “Governor, television stations, all next door talking to my boss – and I didn’t want all the ladies in Fairbanks to come knock down our door chasing me?”

The Mrs.: “Okay.”

No questions, no disbelief. Just . . . “ok.”

And, as I’ve said before, if I told The Mrs. that aliens took me time travelling to go dancing with Marilyn Monroe, Gary Busey and Cleopatra, well, she’d at least believe that I believed that. She might think I was as nuts as Busey, but she wouldn’t think me deceitful or doubt my sincerity.

Dr. Jordan Peterson: “What should you do when you don’t know what to do? Tell the truth.”

Peterson is a Truth absolutist. He believes (in opposition to Post-Modernist thought) that there is Truth. All things are not shades of gray. There is Truth. Additionally, speech that’s spin – meant to manipulate you? It’s a lie, too.

Life sucks. It’s going to be hard. But to make it Hell? You need to add lies.

Why not lie? It contaminates everything. Small lies become big lies. Which infect and overwhelm everything . . . it gets to a situation where “. . . lies have destroyed the relationship between individual or state and reality itself.”

The pain from lying isn’t all outward – if you lie, your character is injured, and when life gets rough (as it will) you won’t have character to support you – only lies. And lies hurt you in a different way – they create a victim mentality in you. You believe that the world should conform to the lies that you have even begun to tell yourself, and when the world doesn’t? You blame the world instead of yourself. You create a victim narrative to explain it all.

What’s the benefit of telling truth?

Peterson: “Truth reduces the terrible complexity of man into the simplicity of his word, so that he may become a partner.”

And that’s a pretty good reason to tell the truth.

And the truth is? Peterson likes Trailer Park Boys, but probably not as much as I do. Here’s a bit of Bubbles doing Bowie. Enjoy. Next Friday we’ll conclude this review, and maybe dismember some Ewoks®?

Jordan Peterson’s Cannon Lobster and 12 Rules for Life Review

â€œThis is Peterson, your new replacement.â€ â€“ Idiocracy

The Texans had a cannon, the lobsters did not.Â Therefore?Â The lobsters lost control of vast swaths of Texas very quickly.Â Except the Alamo.Â The lobsters won there.Â

Here is the first of three posts on Dr. Jordan Petersonâ€™s newly released bestseller, â€œ12 Rules for Life.â€Â The second post is here (LINK).Â The final post is here (LINK).Â There’s a link to the book on Amazon down below.Â I donâ€™t (as of this writing) get anything if you buy it there, but that might change over time.Â Regardless, buy the book.Â Jordan Peterson is amazing.

Peterson puts more ideas into a five minute YouTube video excerpt from a lecture than most college courses do.Â Dr. Peterson is unfailingly moral and gutsy.Â He is willing to share uncomfortable facts and naked truth, which is anathema to those that would prefer the safety of soft and pretty lies.Â He is unfailingly polite.Â And blunt.Â And Iâ€™d be fascinated to see him with a glass or two of wine in him.

Dr. Petersonâ€™s work is based on decades of study combined with a keen intellect and countless hours of work as a clinical psychologist helping people with everything from addiction to performance measurement and enhancement.Â He has earned his wisdom.

Jordan Peterson is Dangerous.Â Heâ€™ll make you think new thoughts, and question your basic assumptions about who you are, and who you can be.

We need a thousand more like him.

Iâ€™ve only read a third of the book as of this writing (it was released on Tuesday), but thatâ€™s enough to get the first four rules.Â By observation, the book is already in thirds â€“ the first four rules are about an inward focus.Â Rules 5-8 are about obtaining and creating control in your own life.Â Rules 9-12 are about facing outwards, so my strategy of breaking this review/discussion into thirds makes sense to me.

Rule 1:Â Stand Up Straight with Your Shoulders Back

This is also the first lesson in super hero school, except they add â€œand put your clenched fists on your hips, and stare up at a waving American flag.â€Â See, Dr. Peterson and I just saved you $75 in superhero school tuition.

This is actually awesome advice, even as weird as it sounds, since adopting this pose will immediately make you feel better, more powerful and more in control of your own life.

Huh?

Yeah.Â And the secret is buried 350,000,000 years back into the past.Â As Dr. Peterson notes, that far back there werenâ€™t even trees on land.

But there was serotonin.

How do we known this?Â Crunchy, tasty lobsters whose life diverged from ours 350,000,000 years ago.Â Turns out that lobsters have social status, and those who have good status produce more serotonin.Â And a big lobster that wins the big lobster fight?Â A big boost of serotonin.Â One of the same, powerful brain chemicals in humans.

The loser?Â The loser of the big lobster fight, well no serotonin for him.Â He has to settle for having his brain melt so it can rewire itself because it literally cannot cope with his new, lower status.Â And you thought you were depressed after losing the annual Christmas Monopoly game to your snot-nosed nephew who still has a lisp.

Serotonin, winning, losing and social hierarchy have been around forever. ProzacÂ® works on lobsters to make them less depressed.

But the winning lobster wins even more and becomes more dominant.Â If he were a person, heâ€™d be setting himself up for a successful career.

Because loser lose. And they pay for it.Â Theyâ€™re sicker, they die earlier, and they have a lower likelihood of producing offspring.

Dr. Peterson then references Priceâ€™s law â€“ Priceâ€™s law pertains to the relationship between the literature on a subject and the number of authors in the subject area, stating that half of the publications come from the square root of all contributors.

Winners win.Â He brought up classical music.Â Half of classical music played is from four composers:Â Beethoven, Bach, Mozart, and Tchaikovsky.Â And only a small number of the songs from those four are the most beloved songs in classical music.Â The same principle explains why Jeff Bezos is planning to create an Amazonian Interstellar Empire while you canâ€™t afford to pay your car insurance bill this month.Â Winning is awesome.

Itâ€™s so awesome that if you win?Â You live longer.Â Youâ€™re healthier.Â You enjoy life more.Â Youâ€™re confident.Â And you have all the serotonin and PEZÂ® that you could want.

And we canâ€™t all be Bezos.Â But we can stand up straight like a hero.Â It will make you feel better, stronger, and just adopting that confident pose will help spike your serotonin and stop your lobster-brain from melting into loser configuration.

Back to Peterson:Â â€œTo stand up straight with your shoulders back is to accept the terrible responsibility of life, with eyes wide open.â€

And back to Wilder:Â â€œI want to go out of this world as I came into it â€“ screaming and covered in someone elseâ€™s blood.â€Â (This apparently is from Sniper: Reloaded, per the Internet, but Iâ€™m going to pretend I wrote it.)

Rule 2:Â Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible for Helping

This chapter has a fairly long digression on Order and Chaos.Â Interesting, philosophical, but Dr. Peterson could have anchored it more firmly to the Rule.Â Iâ€™m not complaining, but Iâ€™m not going to talk as much about it since it was rather obliquely tied to the rest of everything going on in the chapter.Â This chapter probably could have used a bit more ruthless editing.Â Again, great stuff, just needed to tie it all up in a bow.Â Dr. Peterson:Â I volunteer if you need a hand next time!

Back to the Rule:

Think of how you talk to yourself when you look in the mirror or have just screwed up.Â Itâ€™s horrible.Â And if a friend talked to you EVEN ONE TIME as much as you berate yourself?Â Youâ€™d cut them out of your life pretty quickly.Â But itâ€™s much messier when itâ€™s you treating you like that, because you canâ€™t tell you that you never want to see you again.Â Just not practical.Â Unless youâ€™re an old timey vampire and your reflection canâ€™t be seen in a mirror.

I digress.

Other takeaways:

On â€œprotecting kidsâ€ from this chapter . . . you canâ€™t keep them away from the evil of the world so . . . â€œIt is far better to render Beings in your care competent than to protect them.â€Â Why anything less for yourself?

Peterson has several powerful questions at the end of this chapter, an example: Â â€œWhat might my life be like if I were caring for myself properly?â€Â And no, I wonâ€™t list them all.Â Buy the book.

Rule 3:Â Make Friends with People Who Want the Best for You

Thoroughly enjoyable chapter, with all of the backstory that youâ€™d expect in a superhero origin movie.Â Reading Petersonâ€™s version of his adolescence brought memories of mine back, as we both grew up in rather small, remote, cold places.Â And, no, that doesnâ€™t refer to our fatherâ€™s hearts.Â It ends with a friend that couldnâ€™t be saved â€“ because the friend didnâ€™t want to be saved.

Iâ€™ve had a great friend walk down the drug path, where theyâ€™d do and say anything to get more money to buy more drugs.Â Did I want the best for him?Â Sure!Â Did I try to help?Â Absolutely.Â But the last night he was in my car was the night he snorted coke in it.Â And the reason why I didnâ€™t lend him anymore money was he never paid me back the $75 that I lent him.Â Oh, he paid me back, he said.Â Left it under my front door mat.

I didnâ€™t have a front door mat.

And friendships are reciprocal.Â I was promoted at work (years ago) and placed in the partially uncomfortable position of managing the people who had been my peers, sometimes for years.Â One of them was Willie.Â Willie was a certified genius.Â When he was a summer college intern, he (and all the other interns) were offered 3% of anything they could save the company.

He saved them three million dollars.

They gave him a cool computer and a check for several thousand dollars.Â But not $30,000 to an intern.

So, Iâ€™m in the position where Iâ€™m supposed to lead Willie.

He kept coming in late to work.Â It made sense because the people that he mainly worked with were several timezones west.Â Heâ€™d get in later in the morning, and stay until 7pm or 8pm.Â Makes sense, right?

Not to the company president.Â â€œHeâ€™s late again.â€

Oh, man.Â First time leading a department and Willie was going to sink me.

â€œWillie, youâ€™re killing your career.Â The president of the company is on my back.â€Â The president was six layers of management above me.

â€œI donâ€™t care.â€

â€œWillie, youâ€™re killing me.Â Theyâ€™re going to fire me if you keep coming in late.â€

â€œOh.â€

And Willie was never late again.

A friend?Â Absolutely.Â We still talk to this day, even though we havenâ€™t worked together in well over a decade.Â If I needed to borrow silly amounts of money?Â Yeah.Â I could do that with a group of at least seven friends.Â Find those people.

Surround yourself with people who will not stand for you hurting yourself, and would do anything to avoid hurting you.Â Avoid those who you are friends with only out of loyalty, and whose motives are suspect.Â Lies?Â Deal breaker.

One of the things I love about Dr. Peterson is that heâ€™ll quote Homer Simpson.Â And Dostoevsky.Â In the same chapter. Â Â And he does it in this thoroughly enjoyable chapter.

Rule 4:Â Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday, Not Who Someone Else Is Today

The Internet makes it easy to compare any aspect of yourself to the best of seven billion people.Â And youâ€™re not one of them.Â Someone is smarter.Â Someone is richer (unless your name is Bezos) and someone plays better guitar than you.Â If you get caught up in making these comparisons, youâ€™re always going to lose.

And weâ€™re not wired that way.Â Weâ€™re wired to know about 150 people really well and trust them.Â We can get to trusting larger numbers (through various means) but the competition for best storyteller was once a village-wide event, not a world-wide event.Â Itâ€™s not really hard to be strongest out of 150 people.Â Itâ€™s not really hard to be one of the best singers.

But today?Â At the touch of a button I can make myself feel inadequate by comparing myself against tons of different people.

Peterson:Â â€œWho cares if youâ€™re the PM of Canada when someone else is the president of the United States?â€

But the only real competition for me is me.Â Am I getting better?Â Am I pushing myself to be the best Wilder I can be?Â And are the people really happier?Â Was Tom Petty (LINK) happier than me?Â In a hobby, I sometimes look to see what happened to famous people who I envied in my youth.Â Almost universally, I turn out ahead of them.Â And many of them are dead, youthful, untimely deaths.Â Tom Petty or me â€“ who has it better?Â Me.

Realize that you can strongly influence your daily progress.Â Do you want to be CEO?Â Really?Â Probably not.Â 80 hour weeks every week probably arenâ€™t your thing.Â Understand how your talents can best be used, and then work like hell at being the best you possible, because competing against seven billion?Â Thatâ€™s going to kill you.

So will fighting a giant radioactive lobster with a cannon . . . more on Peterson next Friday.

Iâ€™ve written more about Petersonâ€™s ideas here (LINK), here (LINK), and here (LINK).Â Click on them if you love Truth.

The Flu, Fred Hoyle, Creation of all the Elements in the Universe, Panspermia, and You

â€œYou’re from Pittsfield.Â Know what happens to scholarship students caught cheating on exams?Â You had the flu that day, didn’t you, David? Â You didn’t take the exam? Â You missed the test. And since you were ill, why not write me an essay instead?Â Go get started.â€ â€“ Dreamcatcher (Flu obsessed Stephen King)

Pictured â€“ Cosmic Background Radiation left over from the Big Bang.Â Maybe.

Winter is flu season.

I know, Iâ€™m being so topical.Â I promise Iâ€™ll get off being topical in two minutes and take you someplace youâ€™ve never been before.Â Promise.

First, letâ€™s get to basics:

What exactly is the flu?Â The flu is a virus, from the Latin word . . . virus.Â It literally means â€œPoisonâ€ â€“ but itâ€™s been a long time since Poison had a viral video . . .

Hmm, that was way, way cooler in 1988 before Bret Michaels discovered carbs.

Anyway, the flu virus isnâ€™t poison â€“ itâ€™s a cellular invader.Â A virus canâ€™t reproduce by itself, it can only reproduce inside a cell.Â And since it doesnâ€™t have any cells, it needs a host critter that does have cells.Â The flu picks . . . you.

Once it gets inside of you, it spreads as fast as it can, by attaching to a cell wall like a stripper on a billionaire.Â After injecting part of itself into the cell, the cell cooks up millions of copies of the virus.Â So, the virus uses your cell as a copy machine.Â But itâ€™s really awfully hard on the machine.Â Itâ€™s like you sent a copy of your taxes to your printer and it exploded, but left you two million copies of your taxes splattered all across your basement.Â Because the virus, in order to reproduce, makes the cell explode.Â Thankfully, you donâ€™t have to drink toner to get better.Â (Although Iâ€™ve heard that toner solves the problem so quickly life insurance companies will not pay off â€“ they donâ€™t like tonercides.)Â But still? Â The cells explode.

In this case the cells are located in your respiratory tract.Â You know, the place that provides life-giving oxygen so your TwinkieÂ® and ice-cream eating body can live another three minutes?Â Yeah, that place.

Your body has groups of virus hunter cells who look and dress exactly like mid-level late 1990â€™s programmers.Â These virus hunters isolate the virus, and, once isolated, they extrude flagella that look exactly like baseball bats and destroy the invading virus.

Yes, I know thatâ€™s not the original song.Â The Boy subscribes to this blog.

Thatâ€™s how you get better, really, from any sickness this planet tosses at you â€“ programmers attack it with baseball bats.Â And your immune system keeps those geeky programmer guys around â€“ so you donâ€™t get the same virus again.Â But the flu comes in all sorts of strains and mutates every year so the geeks donâ€™t recognize the next virus.

How is the flu deadly?

Two ways.Â The first and most psycho way is a cytokine storm.Â A cytokine is a chemical signal that brings the cells with the baseball bats to destroy the copier.Â (I apologize if this is getting too technical).Â But letâ€™s just say that your body releases too much cytokine?Â In a really bad design flaw, all of the guys with baseball bats come from everywhere in your body and start trashing the place, even when theyâ€™ve run out of copiers.

In a cytokine storm your immune system trashes everything.Â And can kill you.Â So when you hear that a 205 pound (thatâ€™s 650 kilograms for you in Canada, or, as I like to call it, Americaâ€™s hat) 22 year old bodybuilder with 4% body fat died two days after getting the flu?Â Cytokine storm.

Medical hint:Â If a medical science describes something as a â€œstormâ€ itâ€™s generally not a good sign, unless it happens to a really rich relative that liked you.

So far, I havenâ€™t had at cytokine storm.Â Since Iâ€™m breathing and all.Â But the second reason flu kills people is the one that gets me in trouble:

All of the cells (copiers) that explode?Â Well, all of their parts are everywhere in your respiratory system.Â Your respiratory system is beyond inflamed â€“ itâ€™s covered in cell debris.Â Which looks just like food to normally harmless bacteria that live, well, everywhere in your throat.Â They sense the food?Â Yeah.Â Bacteria food fest.Â And they donâ€™t necessarily stop at the cell debris.Â And then your already psycho baseball bat wielding immune system comes along, and . . . pneumonia.Â Nothing fun about that.

Thatâ€™s the one that gets me to get on the phone to my Internet doctor and pretend I have strep throat to get some amoxicillin.Â It only happens every 11 years or so (this is important for later) so itâ€™s livable, and also defines then interval between doctor visits for me.

But letâ€™s get to the REAL point of this post, the one Iâ€™ve been teasing.

Flu, or â€œInfluenzaâ€ comes from the Italian word . . . wait for it . . . â€œInfluenza.â€Â Yay!Â Itâ€™s easy when English just coopts the whole word.Â But in Italian, influenza means, literally, influence.Â Influence of what?

Influence of the stars.

So, you and I would just chalk this up to fate, karma, or some random encounter with some grimy plague covered dude.

But not Fred Hoyle.

Fred Hoyle, excuse me, Sir Fred Hoyle was a British dude.Â And not only was he a British dude, he was a British dude who was smarter than Stephen Hawking.Â Yeah.Â Iâ€™ll stand by that.Â He was (essentially) cheated out of a NobelÂ® Prizeâ„¢ for the discovery (solo discovery) of how heavier elements are formed in stars and supernovas.

Yeah.Â That smart.

Why was he cheated out of the NobelÂ©?Â Iâ€™m thinking it was one of two things:Â first, he berated the NobelÂ® committee for not giving the award one year to the grad student who actually did the work and made the discovery.Â Hopefully she appreciated that.

Second?Â He wasnâ€™t shy about giving his opinion.Â On anything.

Ever hear of the â€œBig Bangâ€?

Sir Fred was the guy who came up with the phrase.Â He came up with the phrase while describing a theory that competed with the leading theory of the day â€“ steady state.Â That means the Universe didnâ€™t start with a singularity â€“ it has always existed.Â Sure, we need more matter.Â Hoyle speculated that the matter itself was being continuously created â€“ he postulated that was no crazier that the idea that the Universe came from nothing.Â His point when the background radiation was found by Arno PenziasÂ and Robert WilsonÂ was that the radiation they found, if it were 10 times more or 10 times less would still have been proclaimed the background radiation from the Big Bang.Â The conclusion was fixed â€“ the evidence could change.

Other crazy things.Â Carbon.Â Hoyle looked at carbon and the physics for carbon formation in stars and supernovae.Â He found that it was crazy unlikely that carbon would be present in the quantities that it is.Â (HINT:Â we are made of carbon.Â And if there were less of it?Â No us.Â There are literally millions of carbon compounds â€“ itâ€™s a crazy versatile atom.)Â He felt that the physical constants that governed carbon atom formation were so unlikely, that they were tweaked to make carbon since it is so important toÂ . . . us.

Did I mention Hoyle was an atheist?

Yeah.

He also felt that life was so unlikely (the analogy of life being as likely as a â€œ747 being assembled by a tornado throwing parts together in a junkyardâ€ was his) that he was a major proponent of panspermia â€“ the idea that life was seeded here from interstellar space.Â Because the idea that even single celled life occurs . . . is amazing.

Hoyle was also a fan of the concept of abiotic oil.Â Abiotic is just a word that means â€œno dinosaurs died in making your gasolineâ€ â€“ the petroleum is a result of natural forces bringing it together.Â If I didnâ€™t have my next 18 blog posts planned out?Â I could just start with Hoyle and get a dozen.Â The man had ideas.

Yeah.Â He wrote novels, too.Â The one I read (The Incandescent Ones) was not particularly memorable.Â I read the synopsis and . . . oh, yeah, I guess I remember that.

But the biggie for this post has already been alluded to:Â Hoyle, in 1989 and in 2000 brought up . . . the flu.

Hoyleâ€™s thesis was that the flu was not from Earth.Â The flu came from outer space, and incidents of significant flu outbreaks were tied to the Sun.Â See my link here (LINK) for other Sun linked things, and there will be (itâ€™s currently scheduled for sometime in the next six weeks) another Sunspot linked post.

Did you catch that?Â Hoyle felt that the flu came from space (queue echoey space music) and the solar cycle correlated to when we would have flu outbreaks.Â The previous times Hoyle brought this up were at solar cycle peaks, in 1990 and 2000.Â And the Spanish flu that killed 50,000,000 and infected 500,000,000.Â (500,000,000 of a total population of 1,800,000,000.Â 25% of everyone on Earth got the flu.Â The same flu.)Â Yeah, that happened at a solar cycle peak.Â Going back to the origin of the word â€œfluâ€ or â€œInfluenzaâ€ or â€œinfluence of the starsâ€?Â Yeah.Â Most scientists thought he was wrong.Â Which is how every scientist feels about a new idea until they die.

Did I mention that Hoyle felt that life outside of Earth, began in space?Â Yeah.Â I did.

The Universe as depicted by 1978.Â Note:Â No Cylons were injured in the creation of this film.

The flu is dangerous.Â A minor modification could make that cytokine storm much more likely.Â Another minor modification?Â Near universal death.Â Call it a full flu.Â But thatâ€™s a sad thought.Â Not one that anyone has ever had.

Yeah, The Stand was an awesome book by Stephen King.Â Read it!Â Itâ€™s what a full flu would do to you!Â (Note, not an instruction manual for the Anti-Christ.)

So Iâ€™m struggling for the moral to the story this week.Â Donâ€™t allow the flu to turn your immune system into baseball bat wielding dudes who will kill you?Â Avoid crazy ideas since you wonâ€™t get the Nobelâ„¢ PrizeÂ®?

So an atheist that knew more about science than you or I ever will was convinced that not only the Universe was rigged in favor of life (carbon atom formation) and that life was so improbable that he speculated it came from space . . . .

Yeah, thatâ€™s the moral.Â The flu can be more than a virus.Â It can make you flat-out think.

Be like Hoyle.Â Allow one crazy idea a day to enter your brain.Â Figure out where it leads.Â And take vitamin C (LINK) if you get the flu.

Believe me, you donâ€™t want the one the aliens came up with this year.

Did I mention that my buddy John Apollo has a birthday this weekend?Â Yeah, he does.Â Happy Birthday!Â Leave a comment and let him know that you care.Â Or donâ€™t and make him wallow in horrible sadness.

Scams, Your Momma, and Cheap Speakers

“You were right about that computer scam. That was a bad idea. I’m going to take the blame for it, I decided.” – Office Space

I’d like to report this sign for false advertising. The town was not made of Cuervo® nor did they make Cuervo™ there.

Back a few decades ago . . . .

I was in a college classroom, after class. A bunch of us were sitting around talking and Joe jumped in.

“So, guys, the most incredible thing happened to me,” said Joe. “I was at a Burger King® and I had just finished eating. I was walking back out to my car, and this guy in a van stopped me.”

I think I jumped in with something to the effect that very few good things happen when a guy from a van approaches you in a Burger King™ parking lot.

Joe ignored me and continued, “He had these speakers in the back of his van. He had dropped them off at a rental, and he had mistakenly signed two extra out. If he took them back to the shop, they would have fired him for checking the extras out. These are $1000 speakers! Each!

“I got them for $300 for the pair! They sound totally awesome with my stereo! I had to run to the bank to get the cash, but I got them!”

I smiled.

I had just read in the local newspaper that there was a scammer group operating around the metropolitan area of Moderatelylargecity, East Westeria near where we lived. They were selling speakers worth about $50 a pair out of the back of trucks at fast food restaurants. Cash only.

I thought to myself – “Hey, Joe likes the speakers. He really likes them. And if you tell him it was all a scam, he’ll hate the speakers and feel stupid. Is it hurting anyone to let him think he got a deal?”

Joe was a nice guy, and I successfully held back my inner jerk (on that far distant morning). I’m betting Joe has no idea to this day. Maybe I should call him and tell him?

And of the bunch of us talking, Joe was by far the nicest guy. Probably the most moral. If you read this blog you KNOW it’s not me. (Yes, I know John Wilder’s halo is firmly askew – but it’s in a roguish Captain Mal Reynolds way.)

The world is full of scammers. Many of the scams are legal, just like the one your mom pulled on your dad.

And how do I know so much? Yeah. I got scammed. More than once. The first big scam occurred when I signed a contract when I was pretty young (20??) that wasn’t a good one (for me) but it only cost me $1000. For a membership in a buying club. To buy things at factory cost. When I had no money to buy things at factory cost.

Thankfully, it was financed with monthly payments of like $50, which was a lot back then. But looking in the rear view mirror? That $1000 was cheap, and the payments made it better. I got to feel stupid not one time, but EVERY SINGLE MONTH when I wrote out that check. Now? I try to look through my lens of past stupidity to evaluate every single deal.

Recently I responded to an email from a “group” that appeared to be tied to a professional association that I am a part of. Mistake. Set up an appointment and it turned out I could join this “group” for only $200 per month. This would be awesome! This would help me advance some professional goals that I was interested in. Well, $200 per month plus a $250 startup fee. I was discussing the opportunity with them on the phone:

Me: “Well, how often does this actually work?” (I was expecting 95% or something.)

Jim Q. Salesdude: “You can understand that we don’t keep statistics on our success rate. But most members are active for more than a year . . . .”

And I’m sure he’s telling the truth.

The average person that would be wanting this kind of opportunity could afford $200 a month. And the process would likely take months. So, yeah, I’m sure he’s telling the truth, because he has people who can afford it buying . . . hope. I looked up the company online, and saw very few positive reviews – most indicated it provided them no help whatsoever. Heck, I can just go the bank and get $200 in ones and at least be able to make a fire out of it. Why should I give them $2650?

But what are the signs of a scam?

Hard sell/won’t leave you alone. – This is often the number one sign. The salesman has money on the line – you money. If you sign up? They get money, and it’s likely that they’re morally flexible in the first place. With this opportunity listed above, the salesguy is getting sort of clingy. He’s very insistent – like a psycho ex-girlfriend level insistent. As long as he doesn’t come to my house in the middle of the night and shave my dog completely bald and then take a magic marker to him, I think I’m okay – nobody wants that to happen to them twice. He called me today even after I told him I wasn’t interested. Even sent me an email to reschedule on my calendar after I ditched his call. When in full hard sell mode, they make high school sophomore girls who just got dumped in public look stable.
Implication that this is special, or maybe kinda illegal. – In my case, this was supposed to be a backdoor link for “special access.” I was approved after describing my experience in a single sentence, and then told how special I was. Alarm bells! This is also an incentive for you to be quiet after the scam is over – not everyone gets special access! I’ll give you a heads up: there is no Secret Nigerian Prince and no one has picked you to get a special offer because of what you’ve done. You’re not that special. And your kindergarten teacher doesn’t even remember your name. Mine does. But that’s because of the knives.
Payment for things that aren’t usual. – Back (farther) in the past The Mrs. and I attempted to get an agent for a book we’d written. We found one who loved us and loved our book! This agent also wanted to . . . charge us. We believed in our book. A bit too much. Thankfully, we were only out several hundred dollars on that one. There’s no way you should pay an agent, and no way that you should pay people for “super special professional opportunities.”
Too good to be true (threats and promises). – One salesmen talked about how people who bought “Brand X” (his competitor) often got fired. I liked the guy, but made sure that I’d never buy that particular product. I respond poorly to threats. I respond much better to treats, which is nearly spelled the same way. Treats are better: Like sausage. Wine. Beer. Some mixture of wine, bacon, sausage and beer. In a smoothie?
Quick response required. – If you don’t act today, you can’t get this deal! If someone tells me that? I walk. No deal is that good. Have to act tonight? Hmmm, I’ll pass. If it’s a good deal where both parties will benefit, it will be available tomorrow, like your mom.

Nigerians and internet scammers look for stupid people. Why? You can keep them going forever. That’s why the emails from the “Nigerian Prince” have spelling and factual errors. If the person reading the email has enough brain cells momentarily clear the fog and do a Google® search for “Nigerian Prince” – well, that’s way too bright for the scammer. They want them stupid (certainly) and rich (would be nice). Since most things in the third world can be bought for about six dollars and handfuls of the wrapping paper the locals call money (sometimes including the local parliament) – you are rich if you live in America. Even if you make minimum wage.

Scammers sell empty hope, which makes them equivalent with your state’s lottery board. Last night I dreamed I was talking with my brother. And mentioning how Steve Martin (yes, that Steve Martin) and I were friends. Heck, I even had Steve’s phone number in my phone.

And I woke up, and was briefly sad that I really wasn’t friends with Steve Martin. See how sad that was? I bet you’re crying and sobbing that I was so disappointed. That’s what selling empty hope is. That and assuming that your parents really loved you.

I’ll leave you with this: You can’t scam an honest man. If you stick to honest reward for honest work and honest value? You’ll never be CEO.

But you’ll never be scammed, either, if you also remember never to trust a five year old or a dude selling speakers out of the back of a van at Burger King®.

The Biggest Frickking Scientific Discovery for a Long Time, French Artists, and Your Momma

â€œCould they be talking to us from the future?Â Maybe.Â Okay, if they can? Â They are beings of 5 dimensions!Â To them, time might be yet another physical dimension.Â To them, the past might be a canyon they can climb into.â€ â€“ Interstellar

Pictured, cool lens flares from the Saturn IV rocket first stage.Â Not pictured?Â Transdimensional aliens.Â

The Family Wilder was having breakfast this morning lunch this afternoon (we donâ€™t get up easy) and were discussing the news of the past week, and somehow Pugsley drifted the conversation into â€œhow would you make a fully functioning holodeck, such as was seen on Star TrekÂ© but for use with multiple people.â€Â The easy answer is to wave your hands about and say â€œscience.â€Â But, we came up with an explanation that would fit the facts shown on Trekâ„¢.

We then ended up talking about inserting a jack into your skull (as in The MatrixÂ®).Â The Boy was in favor of this, and was looking up surgical tools on his iPhoneÂ®.Â I noted that, no, weâ€™re probably pretty close to just being able to put a hat with electrodes on â€“ no surgery required.Â At this point, Iâ€™m pretty sure the other folks eating in the small-town diner who overheard our conversation figure we work for the CIA or . . . weâ€™re nuts.

Weâ€™re nuts.

But then I remembered the biggest story of the week:

â€œHey, did you guys here that theyâ€™ve discovered proof that there is at least one other dimension? (LINK)â€

That stopped the conversation at the table, let me tell you what.Â Pugsley was first out of the box:

â€œHow does that work?â€

I tried to explain a hypercube using a salt shaker, bits of hash brown, three cream containers and the spare plate from someone elseâ€™s table (they were nearly finished with it).

Turns out thatâ€™s a difficult thing, explaining something thatâ€™s so beyond how you normally think.Â But that brings me to one way, dear Internet, to give an explanation:

In 1912 a French dude named Marcel Duchamp (pronounced â€œJohn Smithâ€) tossed together a painting that irritated his friends, namely, Nude Descending a Staircase, No. 2.

This was the initial centerfold in â€œMulti-Dimensional Playboyâ€.Â The main problem was the centerfold was in 11 dimensions and no one could figure out how to fold it back up.Â (public domain via Wikimedia)

What Duchamp was attempting to show was the human body with time as a static dimension â€“ you got to see the bodyâ€™s outside perimeter.Â Imagine rolling a tennis ball â€“ but you get to see it at each point of its path at the same time â€“ it would look like a fuzzy green tube since the parts that got covered up through subsequent motion wouldnâ€™t be visible.Â Fuzzy green tubes are cool looking.Â Now imagine the perimeter of the human body heading down a staircase . . . youâ€™d have a fuzzy-topped blob of flesh with frozen waves where the body had moved through.Â Kinda like a fleshy, hairy, meat tube.Â Kinda like . . . Marcelâ€™s picture, but Marcel skipped on the gross parts.Â And itâ€™s not a surprise that Duchamp tried this â€“ he was a great mathematician and chess player as well, so his mind thought in these sorts of abstract ways.

His friends thought it sucked, and the art show asked his brothers to ask Marcel to either take the painting down or to change the title.Â After this initial reaction, Duchamp thought, â€œMerci!Â I must take my genius to New York!Â Certainly zey will understand it!â€

Marcel apparently didnâ€™t know any New Yorkers, because they certainly didnâ€™t appreciate it:

Hey, any publicity is good publicity.Â Just ask Harvey Weinstein. (public domain via Wikimedia)

The New York Evening Sun parodied Duchamp in print after his picture made everyone in New York mad as well.Â Apparently New York was a better place to be hated in, because eventually Duchamp moved to the United States and shot John F. Kennedy.

Anyway, Nude Descending a Staircase, No. 2 is the only Cubist art I really care for â€“ precisely because it attempts to show reality through the lens of another dimension.

Hereâ€™s another good one:Â it shows a hypercube.

Yes, keep watching it . . . beautiful, isnâ€™t it?Â Imagine 4 spatial dimensions.Â Some weed might help.Â (Source, Jason Hise via Wikimedia, Public Domain)

I can draw a hypercube, but itâ€™s not really very good unless itâ€™s in motion, like this one.Â Only as it moves can you see the way that it shows another dimension.Â Ironic that Duchamp stopped time to show another dimension while this requires motion to show that dimension.

But what are the implications of this?

Nothing short of stunning.Â Last month we have a stunning disclosure about UFOs (LINK).Â This month?Â WE HAVE FOUND PROOF OF ADDITIONAL DIMENSIONS.

This has the possibility of being the most profound discovery in the last 12,000 years (second only to agriculture and the mysterious mechanism of the PEZÂ® dispenser)!

Keep in mind that we went from not understanding the radio to being able to use it â€œseeâ€ the images of galaxies 11 billion years in the past within 70 years.Â We went from not understanding the atom to atom bombs in 15 years (plus a warâ€™s worth of investment).Â We went from stuck to the ground to the Moon in 65 years.Â Transistor to personal computer?Â 30 years.

We are remarkable as a species at understanding and exploiting new ideas.Â I imagine this one has implications similar to radio, the atom, flight, and information technology.Â So, let me re-write the above:

HOLY FRICKING CRAP!Â WE HAVE FRICKING FOUND FRICKING PROOF OF OTHER FRICKING DIMENSIONS!

Additional dimensions might (and I stress might) be able to provide:

Space Travel â€“ Imagine that distance isnâ€™t the same in one (or more) of these dimensions. Step into the dimensional transformer and step outside 2000 miles away.Â Â Why Miami?
Time Travel â€“ Imagine that time works the other way or at other speeds in one or more of these dimensions. Step into the dimensional transformer and step outside 2000 years in the future.
Surgery Without An Incision â€“ Reach inside your patient in the fourth dimension. Pull out his gall bladder without breaking the skin.Â Caesarian sections?Â How about Einstein sections for having babies?Â (Since Iâ€™m the first to think if it, you should call them â€œWilder Sections.â€)
Explanations for Gravity â€“ Why is it weak? Itâ€™s like gravity doesnâ€™t even lift! Â Maybe it bleeds off into other dimensions and surrounds your mother.Â Which is why sheâ€™s so fat.
Explanations for Dark Matter â€“ Okay, dark matter is just a theory â€“ we canâ€™t see it, we can only see its effects. Let me explain:Â The planets all rotate around the Sun like particles.Â At different speeds.Â The spiral arms of the Milky Way galaxy (where you live) all rotate around the Milky Way like the Milky Way is a record album.Â Sorry â€“ out of date.Â CD?Â Sorry â€“ out of date.Â Â Yeah.Â Except no spinners.Â Why the difference?Â Some say that thereâ€™s a halo of dark matter around the galaxy that causes it spin as if it is a solid plate.Â JOHN WILDER OFFICIAL PREDICTION:Â dark matter is bogus.Â Itâ€™s either gravity leaking from another dimension or gravity has a non-linear distance component.Â I actually calculated it, and it works, but it doesnâ€™t explain some effects, so my Physics NobelÂ© medal still hasnâ€™t been engraved.
Explanations for Dark Energy â€“ What is it? Why is the Universe expanding?Â What will stop it?Â When will it stop?Â Maybe . . . another question that might be answered by other dimensions.
Explanations for Why Your Mother is So Fat â€“ Oh, sorry. Thatâ€™s chardonnay, canned frosting, TwinkiesÂ®, and regret.
Explanations for Things We Havenâ€™t Even Thought Of â€“ So many things this might explain, including the Grand Unified Field Theory â€“ the theory that explains all of physics, chemistry, and why your Mom is so fat. Except we know why your Mom is so fat.

So, itâ€™s a big deal.Â A big thought.Â Maybe, just maybe, the biggest scientific discovery of your lifetime.Â And you heard about it here first.

So, who is the journalist now?Â Yeah.Â This guy.

Obamacare, Health Insurance, Ear Hair, and Looking at Breast Implants

â€œNo, Steve, the guard, accidentally looked at Medusa’s head.Â Turned to stone.Â Who covers that? Is that health insurance or Workman’s Comp?â€ â€“ The Librarian: Return to King Solomonâ€™s Mines

A picture of Fairbanks Memorial the day Pugsley was hatched born.Â I had good insurance then.Â Too bad itâ€™s gotta go . . .

Almost everything in the world (almost!) has gotten better since I was a kid.Â Well, the music isnâ€™t as good.Â And the movies are gloomier.Â And my hair has migrated from my scalp to . . . everywhere else.Â For heavenâ€™s sake, why did it have to go INTO the ears???

As I look to things that have gotten much worse in my lifetime, the number one is . . . health care costs, which is even worse than ear hair.Â Obamacare (or the Affordable Care Act for those of my readers that regularly appear on CNNÂ®) was supposed to fix that.Â In my case, my premiums nearly doubled while my deductible went up by a factor of eight.Â If my math is right, that means my health insurance is worth, on a dollar basis, one sixteenth what it was before Obamacare.

When Pugsley attempted to self-amputate a finger on a camping trip, The Mrs. took him to the emergency room.Â He came back with two stitches.Â My bill?Â Over $1000.Â And I had to pay it, in cash.Â Did he really need all of his fingers?Â Nine is a good number, right?

Iâ€™d love to blame Obamacare â€“ but itâ€™s really just part of the system thatâ€™s vaulted health care costs upwards.Â Weâ€™ve all experienced it â€“ weâ€™re paying unconscionable rates for care thatâ€™s not (in some cases) as good as it was in the past.Â I know we have fancy equipment and machines that go â€œping,â€ but the idea of a family doctor that knew you family from your birth until his death is over.

Now doctors have to see as many patients as possible to pay for their rent, BMWÂ® and the loans they took out for college, their divorces, their small airplanes, and their portion of the partnership.Â And they practice defensive medicine.Â They run tests that you have to pay for to protect their medical license.Â And if your insurance doesnâ€™t pay for the test because itâ€™s unnecessary?Â You pay for the test.

I love capitalism.Â Itâ€™s awesome.Â But our health care system doesnâ€™t even remotely resemble capitalism.

Letâ€™s start with theft.

Our current health care system was changed in the 1980â€™s.Â If you showed up to an emergency room in 1979 and had no ability to pay for care . . . they had no obligation to provide care.Â None.Â As a matter of principle theyâ€™d stabilize you, but a life changing surgery involving 20 heroic doctors?Â Not so much.

I heard a story about a woman who lost her health insurance.Â And then got cancer.Â She couldnâ€™t afford the $80,000 or so in costs for chemotherapy and treatment.

She died rather than bankrupt her family.

And, sadly, thatâ€™s the right outcome.

The economist Thomas Sowell said (more or less), â€œIf an economist was designing a car, instead of an airbag in the steering wheel, there would be a knife pointed at the driver.Â Good economists believe in in consequences for actions.â€

There needs to be an incentive for people to pony up and get insurance.Â And in the 1980â€™s they removed that.Â Now, regardless of my ability to pay, if I show up at the hospital, they have to treat me.Â Canâ€™t turn me away.

Now Iâ€™m all for compassion.Â But in this system, the person who is compassionate (the politician) forces the provider (doctor/hospital) to treat someone for â€œfreeâ€ â€“ but in reality passes on the costs to the responsible idiot with insurance and money (me and you).

Why does a TylenolÂ® cost $11 each in a hospital?

Yeah.Â Youâ€™re paying for the freeloaders.Â For the lawsuits.Â For the administration costs.

One hospital (Duke) had 900 beds.Â It had 1500 billing administrators.Â Why?Â They have to navigate through Medicare rules, as well as rules and correspondence from hundreds of different insurance companies.Â You spend a night in the hospital?Â You have 1.7 people there with you just counting the costs.

Yikes!

Of the things that determine a capitalist system, itâ€™s all missing.

You donâ€™t see those until weeks or months after the event.Â How can you make a decision?
They donâ€™t have the choice to refuse to serve you.
You donâ€™t have one if youâ€™re bleeding out.Â You go where the ambulance is taking you.Â You donâ€™t haggle when youâ€™re unconscious.
The system is so regulated that the American Medical Association determines the number of doctors in the country.Â Think that theyâ€™ll increase competition?Â Hospital regulations (mainly Federal) are extensive.
LipitorÂ®, which treats something or other, was making Pfizer $5billion a year.Â After it went generic?Â Less than a $1million a year.Â Protections for drugs are routinely extended and live longer than the original patent period.Â Apparently Viagraâ„¢ also keeps the patent system going for a long time, too.
LOL, whut?

What does a free market look like for medicine?

We actually have great examples.Â Laser eye surgery costs have plummeted over time.Â And, itâ€™s never been cheaper for ladies to become . . . ahem . . . enhanced.

Why?

People have choices.Â They donâ€™t need the surgery.Â They want it.Â So they shop around, and will only get it if the price meets expectations.Â $10,000 to not need $200 glasses?Â Not on this planet.Â And even the girl who wants bigger boobs is budget conscious, even though her boyfriend now has had laser eye surgery and can see them.

Recently several doctors have cut the cord.Â No insurance.Â None.Â Come see the doc?Â Cash.Â But the prices . . . are much lower.Â Much.Â Many are less than the copay for your insurance.Â Hereâ€™s a link (LINK).

The Mrs. and I were discussing this problem last year.Â I outlined the issues.Â The Mrs. leaned back and contemplated.Â She swirled the Johnny Walker Blue Labelâ„¢ in her glass and said . . .

â€œMake it illegal.â€

John Wilder:Â â€œMake what illegal.â€

The Mrs.:Â â€œInsurance.â€

When she said that, I immediately pushed back in my mind.Â The costs were so high . . . how could anyone ever consider that?

But then I realized that she was right.

Health insurance as a concept really took off during World War II.Â The government had frozen the wages of the workers so we didnâ€™t have runaway inflation as the tank factory tried to steal workers from the bomber factory.Â But . . . you could add benefits.Â Life insurance.Â Pensions.Â And?Â Health insurance.

This began an 80 year distortion of the health market.Â The person taking the action (you) was not paying the bills (insurance company) or writing the prescriptions (doctor).Â How could costs NOT explode under such a twisted system?

So, The Mrs. is right.Â We have to burn this village to save it.Â And we will â€“ because otherwise it will torch the whole country as Iâ€™ve previously predicted (LINK).

Until then?Â We can stare with perfect vision at augmented . . . attributes.

If only there was a cure for ear hair.

r/K Selection Theory, or Why Thanksgiving is Tense* (for some people)

“But thanks to recent advances in stem cell research and the fine work of Doctors Krinski and Altschuler, Clevon should regain full reproductive function.” – Idiocracy

This is a picture from when The Boy and I took a ride into Denali. You can read about that adventure here (LINK). Spoiler! Not killed by vampires.

Winter is coming. And it all has to do with biology . . .

I didn’t like high school biology. Not that I didn’t have good teachers, I had great teachers. They were committed and passionate about biology. I love science – don’t get me wrong, but biology seemed so . . . pointless. It was a lot of learning the proper names for things (stamen and pistil are two vaguely naughty flower parts that I all I recall, but couldn’t distinguish) and learning how a flower worked was so much less interesting than the fusion reactor that powers our solar system (Fun Fact: If you collected all of the solar energy falling on California every day, it would be very dark there!). And my lab partners (two cute cheerleaders who smelled vaguely of musk) almost gleefully did the frog dissection. There were times I think that they wished they had a dead frog, but . . .

As I’ve gotten older, I realize that there are interesting aspects to almost any subject, some of which I spend hours, weeks or even months studying until I’ve learned what I want to know. When I was younger, my biology interests mainly involved attempts at field experimentation with cheerleaders. Decades later biology came back up in my intellectual wanderings in settings that didn’t involve double features at the drive in.

This time my study of the convergence of biology and economics explained to me why half of the US population can’t talk to the other half – and can’t even understand the other half.

It starts with a wolf.

There is a bleak, windswept plane in Alaska. Off in the distance, the wolf pack follows a caribou herd, as it has for the better part of a week. The pack acts as one. A lone wolf in the north is a dead one.

The females – smaller, quicker – herd the caribou on the sides, keeping the herd moving to the west, away from the cover of the trees. The older males push through the center, finally selecting the small group of caribou that they will take and use their superior muscle to attack. The young wolves and pups follow along, sometimes play-fighting among each other, but more often imitating the adults. The play will turn to hunting as they watch and learn.

As the caribou comes down, the males feed first. Eventually the pups feed. It’s been a week, and they’re hungry. The alpha male and alpha female of this pack have been mated for life, and will stay mated until the male dies in three years from an infection due to a broken tooth, but today they have food.

A significant amount of effort is put into raising the pups, who, when they get older will split off and join other packs.

Wolves follows what a biologist calls “K” selection.

Based on their environment, wolves face a significant pressure for resources every day. They live in environments at the sheer edge of habitability, and have to cooperate to fight those environments daily in order to survive. Their young, have significant parental involvement and training. Due to the scarcity inherent in the environment they must work together to live. They only have a few offspring, but they invest heavily in them. And a mother wolf will fight to the death to save a pup – the pack works together, and is loyal to individual members.

Rabbits follow “r” selection. (The “K” and the “r” originate as variables in an equation that you’ll never use, but here’s the link (LINK) if you want to stare at it.)

It’s the opposite of K selection in many ways. r selection depends upon having significant amounts of resources available. These resources make life easy, so strategies change.

Part of winning biologically in a resource-rich revolves around having the most number of offspring. So, have as many as you want, as many as you can so your genes spread far and wide. Since resources are abundant, mating for life is silly. Mate with . . . whoever. Whenever. However. As long as you have babies. Since a rabbit has lots of babies, each gets little attention, and the idea of a rabbit protecting offspring is unknown – rabbits run away, hoping you’ll eat their offspring as long as you don’t get them.

Resources are plentiful, so there’s no real reason to work together strongly. Not that the rabbits won’t hang together, it’s just that there’s no rabbit that will ever inconvenience themselves to help another rabbit.

Biologically, the rabbits avoid competition for resources – there’s no need. Whereas the wolves focus on mating for life, promiscuity is required for rabbits. And rabbits are single parents. Rabbits are single parents who come to early sexual maturity and have children young. And they will sell out other rabbits to save themselves.

Wolves have to take part in competition, delay sex and are (mainly) monogamous in the wild. They have dual parents for raising their pups, longer time to sexual maturity and independence, and will fight, to the death if need be, for each other.

We see echoes of r/K selection in our society today. When the economy tanks? Divorce rate plummets.

As social spending goes up? Sexual promiscuity in youth goes up. Single parenthood increases.

The numbers of children born to unwed mothers goes from 3.8% in 1940 (before welfare) to 5.3% in 1960 to over 40% by 2008. The numbers stayed small as long as resources were limited, but once resources were free? Boom, many women become r-selected rabbits, which is paralleled only with the behaviors seen at the beginning of the decay of empires (which I cover better than anyone else, ever, at this link (LINK)).

But a core of society remain K selected, which was the norm prior to 1960 and the mass rollout of welfare. So, blue state/red state? Republican/Democrat? Liberal/Conservative?

Or r/K?

That’s where we find ourselves today – much of our political division now having root in differing biological strategies. When the strategy is rooted so deeply, it becomes a point of self, not something abstract. When someone attacks an idea that supports that strategy, it’s often viewed as a personal attack, rather than a discussion. Ever see a political discussion go from zero to yelling in under thirty seconds? Chances are, someone attacked one of the deeply seated r/K differences.

Hot button topics like this? Anti-nuke movement. Anti-illegal immigrant movement. Abortion. I could keep going, but I think you could do it from here.

And it’s fairly insidious – we rarely examine our individual biological imperatives – more often we end up just following unexamined urges and then rationalizing them to prove that we’re smart, not animals. We think we’re making choices, but we’re not. I imagine an unwed mother with eight children cannot even fathom, may even look down upon, the parents with 1.2 children and a perfect lawn. It’s a division that’s not rich/poor, but deeper.

What happens when the resources dry up, when the fields full of rabbity grass give way to the cold steppes of wolfen tundra? Society changes – the ability to use surplus goods for r-selected people goes away. Societal attitudes change, too.

Watch conflicts around the world and think about . . . how many of them are simply due to a difference in r/K reproduction strategy? These conflicts inevitably move a society from abundance to scarcity.

The rabbits rule the spring, the wolves the winter.

“Winter is coming,” wrote George R. R. Martin over 20 years ago. And I have to wait until 2019 to see the end of Game of Thrones.

I think I’m triggered.

Simple Way to Avoid a Heart Attack, Roman Style

“Read Marcus Aurelius. Of each particular thing, ask what is it in itself? What is its nature?” – Silence of the Lambs

So, if I’m reading this right, I’m not supposed to stress out the alligators? I’m not supposed to stress out the 400 pound armored killing machine? Okay, getting right on that.

I ran across a health article about heart disease the other day by an actual medical doctor, not an amateur Civil War surgeon like me (Motto: Splinter in your toe? Amputate.). Dr. Mercola’s theory was simple, that stress causes inflammation which causes the damage that kills you. Here’s a link to his article (LINK). Now this article was on a political site, so it wasn’t even related to the main focus of the site, but I read the article and immediately thought of you Internet. And also me, since I was looking for something to write about today.

It just might be that stress is a problem for you that actually might kill you. It also just so happens that I have a 2000 year old solution for you – all bright and shiny since I dug it up in my backyard last night:

“Your present opinion founded in understanding, your present conduct directed to good, and your present contentment with everything that results. That’s enough.” – Marcus Aurelius, Mediations 9.6

Okay, okay, you say, it’s John Wilder Talking About Dead Romans Again. And you’re right. Because they were ever so much more like us than you might imagine. Marcus Aurelius was a Stoic. And he was also Emperor. The book he wrote, Meditations, was just that. His thoughts that he meditated on. He wasn’t writing it for us, he was writing it to sort out his own thoughts and feelings.

Yeah, a Roman Emperor, able to command power few before or since ever had – King, President, Pope, and General all rolled up into one – had to work out his thoughts. This makes sense, because Marcus was the last of the Five Good Emperors (spoiler alert) and thought himself something of a philosopher. It’s like Vladimir Putin took time out of his busy schedule of wrestling bears while shirtless and dating Olympic gymnasts to attempt to deeply study and understand a philosophy of living that directly worked towards the quote from Marcus, up above.

But the quote above encapsulates in just a simple two sentences the core of the Stoic philosophy. Let’s look at how it can help you reduce stress.

“Your present opinion founded in understanding . . .”

If I were to take liberties, I would re-write that one, “Your present opinion founded in truth.”

Dealing with reality was the core of the philosophy – that’s why it came first. And if you are dealing with truth, you’re dealing in certainty. You’re not lying to yourself.

“your present conduct directed to good . . .”

So, you’ve studied and know the truth. Now you have the opportunity to turn your work towards the good. You’re doing the right thing, the right way.

“and your present contentment with everything that results.”

You did the right thing for the right reasons. You have purpose, clarity, and are taking positive action. And, the best part? You don’t have to win to win. Whatever happens, happens. If it didn’t work? You tried. Be content. If it did work? Great! This is a formula for a low stress life. The Stoics got to the core of it – things have meaning because we place meaning on them. We think that the world should be a series of results, instead of a series of truthful opinions and actions directed toward good outcomes.

What happens, happens.

I know this is hard, because every day when I try to divorce myself mentally from the outcome of an action that I’ve taken, and just be cool when it didn’t work out the way I wanted it to work out. The worst part? When I get upset about something that didn’t go my way . . . that didn’t even matter.

Perspective that I need to remember. Most things don’t matter – at all.

Back to Marcus:

Marcus Aurelius had a really, really awful son. Commodus. So bad Commodus’ wife poisoned him. So bad that Commodus’ best friend strangled him. So bad that they had Joaquin Phoenix play Commodus in Gladiator. Did Marcus have a clue that Commodus would be so awful? Probably. But he did everything he could. And his book has reached across centuries to us.

So, he did the right thing for the right reasons. And it worked.

After a fashion. To quote Marcus again: “That’s enough.”

John Wilder is not a doctor. Go see your doctor before you take medical advice from a blog written in a basement . . . .