“Now, be careful, Fry. And if you kill anyone, make sure to eat their heart to gain their courage. Their rich, tasty courage.” – Futurama
The French never go on holidays, only retreats.
The biggest pleasure of being a father is the education of my children. This opportunity varies. Pugsley and The Boy are the sons of an increasingly rare commodity in 2021: they are children of an intact family.
The Boy and Pugsley are the children of me and my wife, The Mrs. That’s rare because many, many children are raised by families that are broken or blended in 2021. Or, raised in a home with no natural parent.
Like me, an adopted kid.
I was fortunate. Even though I was adopted, my parents, Ma and Pa Wilder, were a common front. Pa Wilder knew he could enforce discipline with the same effect as Ma Wilder. That’s an aside, but it’s important. Men learn how to be men from their fathers. No matter how brave and stunning a Mom is, no Mother is, or ever will be, a Father.
The plus side? Every bag of chips is family-sized if you’re adopted.
So I feel especially good that I’ve had the opportunity to raise my boys with the full backing and support of The Mrs. The idea that Pugsley could play me against The Mrs.? Or vice versa?
That would never happen.
Even if The Mrs. and I were diametrically opposed, the idea that we would overrule each other in front of a kid? Nope. There was no way that The Mrs. and I could be split. Even if we disagreed – that disagreement would be kept to ourselves until we had a knife fight to determine who was right.
What, you don’t do trial by combat at your house? If you’re a first timer, make sure you have a suture kit available. They’re cheap, and neither The Mrs. or I go for the eyes, so we have that going for us.
Raising boys isn’t easy – the only thing it’s easier than is raising girls. From my experience, every boy passes through a gate – a gate where they engage in a fight with their father. This gate is narrow.
With each of my boys, the fight was one I considered existential: to make them men worthy of being called a man is a process. And it consists of fighting the impulses that are natural to a boy. Every 12 year old considers themselves the wisest man since Solomon, and considers their father the dullest man since Mr. Bean®.
Why couldn’t Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.
I have thought about it, and the most important message have I fought (in some cases for years) to put into the skulls of my sons is simple:
- That courage is important.
- That courage is useless unless in service of virtue.
- That virtue is useless unless in service of a Higher Good.
I know, I’ve tossed around several posts about virtue that don’t explicitly state that a Higher Good is important. Virtue is important. But virtue must have a Higher Good to be, well, Virtue. (Atheists that are regular readers have a Wilder Exemption Card – you’re not Evil like the other ones.)
Tonight, Pugsley and I sat in the hot tub at Stately Wilder Manor. Pugsley is currently in the mindset where he would love to own a Mustang® Shelby© 350 or a Lamborghini™ Huracán Performante®. Thus, he has discovered Top Gear™/Grand Tour©. These are shows that are hosted by three British guys: Richard Hammond, James May, Jeremy Clarkson.
A hammer has lots of uses: it can pay for a taxi ride, a dinner, or a can of Monster® energy drink from 7-11©.
Jeremy Clarkson is the big, brash guy. He’s also an amazing presenter. For reasons that will become apparent if you watch it (and you should) Mr. Clarkson put together a documentary on the Victoria Cross.
It’s here.
The idea of watching men be courageous is important. It’s perhaps more important now than at any time in our history, because there has been an attempt to systematically erase courage.
Why?
The answer is simple. Courage is an individual action. The idea that individuals have a place in society is the anathema of the Left. It’s the anathema of Globalism. Everyone is a simple cog in the machinery of the world. You exist only for the glory of the collective.
Leftists (and Globalists) feel the world doesn’t need or want individuals with courage. The world needs individuals that do what they’re told, when they’re told to do it. No other action is acceptable – only the action approved by the collective. The convenience store clerk must be fired when they commit the crime of heroism to save a customer. Individual heroism? Courage fighting against evil?
Completely unacceptable.
I heard about this guy who donated a kidney and was a hero – so why is it that when I donate five I’m charged with a felony?
The world has, in many respects, moved away from individuals. Have an adversary? Hit them with missiles from a Predator® drone that is piloted by a guy sitting in a video game chair half a world away. Where is the heroism in that?
There isn’t any.
Okay. Maybe a little heroism. Just as much heroism as there is in properly filing documents associated with statistics of average foot size of Vietnam veterans from Vail or Valdez or Valdosta. So, not much.
What’s required for heroism? What’s required for courage? This is especially irritating, since most definitions of courage floated on the Internet are filled with corporate weasel words. It seems that properly filing a TPS® report when the temperature of the office was not exactly between 72°F and 74°F (2.3 kg and 3.7 dl) would qualify for the definition of modern courage. Yes. Everyone wants to live in a mall.
I got into a fight changing levels at a mall. It escalated quickly.
Honestly, most of the definitions I find of courage on the Internet make me feel that the weasels that have tried to define it are the opposite of courageous. They’re tepid things that promote the most mundane and boring of actions to the exalted level of “courage.” Go to work and do your job?
You’re a hero. You’re courageous.
I reject that. I would say that courage requires these elements:
- First: Actions that are true heroism are done without regard to self. One Victoria Cross nominee was denied the award because the plane he was piloting (while he was bleeding to death) would save him, too, if he landed it properly.
- Second: Devotion to duty and those around you. This, particularly, drives modern Leftists nuts. The first devotion must be the Leftism, whatever that means on any particular day. Devotion to a higher power? Devotion to the people around you?
- Third: Personal danger. It may be as small as the idea of being embarrassed (for tiny amounts of courage), but for actual courage? Let’s be real. Standing up on a top of a hill when surrounded by 6,000 screaming enemies and throwing grenades until you run out? That’s courageous. The stuff that most people peddle today as courage . . . isn’t.
One definition had, “has to be scared.” Nope. Sorry. Pissed off is close enough. I imagine that 50% of the people we’d all agree are courageous were just plain mad.
There are lots of examples of people who showed great courage simply because they were angry. They had lost friends. They were unwilling to take one step back. Fear isn’t an element of courage – fear is the enemy of courage.
“You’ve heard of animals chewing off a leg to escape a trap? There’s an animal kind of trick. A human would remain in the trap, endure the pain, feigning death that he might kill the trapper and remove a threat to his kind.”
That’s courage. Bonus points if you can name the book.
The Mrs. said she wanted to spice up the bedroom. I hope she likes paprika.
Here’s the big lie, the thing that they want you to believe: the era of courage is over. The ideas of individuals don’t matter. The actions of individuals don’t matter.
As long as humanity survives, the actions of individuals will always matter. As long as fathers teach sons, the era for courage isn’t over.
That’s why I play this game. Courage matters. Virtue matters. A Higher Power matters. Those are the things that make men. That’s why I love this part of the game. One way a man lives on are in the values he leaves to his sons.
Every time I have the opportunity to help my boys, I know I’m winning.
Always remember: We’re not done. This isn’t over.
In Iraq, we left the gate 5 days a week with 4 soldiers, a civilian ‘terp, and two soft sided trucks. To go into town, walk around, and talk to people all day. The local infantry unit was terrified of going out with us. (Which they did exactly once, and vowed “never again!”)
But that was my third war, and my second time in Iraq. (The first time, we weren’t given body armor or weapons. Interesting memories. AK’s can be found almost anywhere, if you try.) Courage is a habit. Courage can be learned. Courage can be taught, but only by example.
At my first military training station, a drunk driver on post plowed through an Air Force trainee formation, killing or injuring a dozen young wingnuts. The crossing guard, all of 18 years old, was court martialed for jumping out of the way of the onrushing car. You see, if he had stood his ground, the car might only have hit him, and not the entire formation. (Military math at work.) Sometimes you endeavor to do the opposite of those you hold in contempt, as a form of negative example.
My only son will graduate from Army Basic Training this Friday. Families are not invited because of the Beer Flu. Negative examples of courage abound these days.
Yes, they do lots of bad examples. And courage is cheapened by labeling everything as courage.
Hadn’t heard about the Air Force crossing guard . . .
Mr. Bean, Top Gear and Kelly’s Heroes all in the same post? You’ve got it goin’ on, JW. Not so much as the faintest whiff of diversity worship, normalized sexual perversion or strong, independent superchick fantasy in the lot. Good on yer.
Unfortunately, the notion of ‘courage’ as you describe it smacks of that toxic masculinity which the squishy-soft left decries now as gulag-worthy. The military has been feminized into organizations of rainbow-hued Care Bears, and we have no one to blame but ourselves. TPTB want us all to climb aboard that magic short bus and be hopelessly timid and comfortingly mediocre together. Our “betters” won’t be satisfied until we give up our icky guns and they dumb-down STEM to the point where its useless, but all-inclusive.
Its getting dangerously close to such a time as every normal man must be tempted to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and begin to slit throats. (Hope this one makes it past your filter, JW, which has seemed at times to be a little (*ahem*) sensitive, speaking of courage).
Those three movies and a bottle of wine is a perfect Saturday night.
Toxic? The same Toxic Masculinity that built half the world?
Guilty.
Filter is sensitive – too much so.
> But virtue must have a Higher Good to be, well, Virtue. (Atheists that are regular readers have a Wilder Exemption Card – you’re not Evil like the other ones.)
Why is God(TM) good? Because God said so in the book he dictated. It’s the same circular argument used by Hitler and Nigerian email scammers. Rod Serling had it right. When extraterrestrials show up with the book _To Serve Man_, it’s not the intergalactic communists come to transfer their wealth to you just for being a lifeform; it’s a cookbook.
I have nothing to add to Codex’s comment. But you’re more than welcome to hang out, Anon!
Thanks for the Exemption Card. 🙂
Totally agree with your title, thesis and discussion. You are a lucky man to be able to personally pass important values such as not splitting infinitives on to your sons. Along with all the other critical values you discuss of true valor, courage and heroism. With such guidance they will become Men who are sorely needed these days.
Other men (like me) have not been so lucky. Support https://fathers4equalrights.org/ .
To say squirrel and jump the focus to another area: courage, valor and heroism are generally highlighted as military traits of honor that “carry the day”, with a positive emotional connotation whether you are a soldier fighting on the side of Good (and believe in “free will”?) or the side of Evil (and say “inshallah” a lot?). The third military philosophy threatening to consume both “free will individualism” and “submission to the Party” in soldiers from any country is the incantation at the beginning of every Battlebot round: “Robots, activate!”. This. Is. The. Future. Of. War. And it doesn’t have a lot of room for things like courage or heroism. Just winning levels of slaughter for those countries that have a manufacturing base able to turn out millions of small, complicated tech gizmos. Oops, that ain’t US.
The military has been struggling with this reality for years on how/whether to give those drone pilots a medal. If at first you don’t succeed with the Distinguished Combat Medal….
https://www.militarytimes.com/2016/01/06/dod-rejects-nintendo-medal-for-drone-pilots-and-cyber-warriors/
…then try, try again….
https://www.governing.com/news/headlines/Air-Force-Creates-New-Medal-to-Decorate-Drone-Pilots.html
Of course, robots may be the least of our worries in 21st Century warfare – and courage and heroism sadly doesn’t matter in biowarfare, either….
Very important point made in this article. COVID was just Act 1 in this horror movie. The vax is just the opening scenes of Act 2….
https://market-ticker.org/akcs-www?post=241577
That’s scary.
I support strongly rights for fathers.
And the medals? Reminds me of “I’m Gonna Get You Sucka” where they compared medals for filing and other mundane office tasks . . .
There are heroes who are acclaimed by admiration and respect. There are heroes who champion causes and fight agendas. These are the heroes we relate with because for the most, they are relevant to our lives.
We hope our children embody what we think of as admirable and heroic attitudes and values. This is all respectable and honorable. However, all of this is nested in the safe womb of normal life.
Whether you speak of the Victoria Cross or the Medal of Honor and when we confer those awards to those heroes in battle we then enter a holy ground of sorts. This is where those who truly merit the highest honor and respect of being a hero worthy of such praise and award are rare and these individuals portray virtues that go far beyond mere bravery. Those who are a witness to such actions understand and are still in awe of those who took those actions that merited the highest awards for bravery.
While it is fitting and proper to respect and honor those who uphold the best of virtues and humane values in society, we must always save that greatest of our respect for the real heroes who have served a much higher calling. By doing so we endorse the virtues of exceptional goodness and sacrifice and this can carry on throughout society and our lives.
8 or 9 out of 10 VC recipients were found to be eldest sons, when a study was done decades ago. The sense of responsibility for younger siblings carried onto the battlefield.
Very well said – I wouldn’t change a single word in your comment.
So…. what you’re saying is school teachers ain’t heros? Oh and ” Dune” Frank Herbert.
Well, some are. Most? Nope.
Most of the world isn’t heroic. But just enough people are to keep my faith up.
We may be about to see many examples of individual courage. When the time comes I fear failure so I hope that is motivation enough. May God bless us all should it come to that but better yet may He let cooler wiser heads prevail.
Indeed. Well said.
That scene in Enemy At the Gates where retreating Red Army soldiers were gunned down by NKVD officers with a Maxim machine gun is reality. The Germans shot all NKVD members on sight so there is that.
The descendants of the Bolsheviks running the Russia 1917-1918 replay in the FUSA fear individuals
outside of the hive because they are wild card.
They are watering down and weakening the military at the order of their CCP paymasters so that the PLA (People’s Liberation Army) can march quickly then enjoy some fun in the shade with the frauleins.
The disputed quote by Isoroku Yamamoto about a rifle behind every blade of grass in America making it difficult to invade will be solved with an executive order by esteemed CPUSA party member comrade kommissar Xi Obiden.
Don’t forget your permits for the hybrid civil war revolution. (sarc)
The NKVD – bad people. And what’s happening to the military now?
Shouldn’t we have expected it?
Courage and valor are intertwined but both connote acting without regard to self.
In other words, courage and valor require one acting fearless outwardly even when inside, the recognition of danger exists, but is no longer important.
Good one, John.
Yes………a very good one !!
Thank you! Yes – it’s true. The danger must be known, and disregarded. Excellent point.
Americans scream globalism is wonderful because there would be free trade, no borders, and no wars, but actually globalism means that the world would be run by a few elites and you couldn’t escape high taxes or draconian laws.
Americans do not support globalism. The establishment on both the left and right support globalism.
Unfortunately we have little choice in selecting leaders. The last election proves we no longer have any choice in leaders when a complete zero like O-Briben and camel-toes are named winners with vote counts absurdly high. They did not even try to conceal the fake. And the legacy media backed the absurdity.
One of the steps in my maturing process is recognizing that belief in a higher power doesn’t require adherence to any sort of organized religion and that adherence to an organized religion is an incredibly poor indicator of personal virtue.
At some point, free will enters the equation. Otherwise? No courage.
I went through Air Force basic training and knew of the car ramming the formation, though I had not heard of the court marshal. We all had to carry flashlights with yellow end pieces so that a driver at night would see swinging yellow lights. (The crash was at night.)
Examples of courage.
The examples are out there, especially if we look hard enough.
Bravo. Excellent piece.
Thank you.
Sir,
Thankyou for posting the link to the Clarkson documentary. The lovely twist at the end was a nice touch, although the entire viewing was breathtaking.
Was the quote from Starship Troopers?
Regardless of how one defines, encapsulates, or exemplifies courage, the fact is that we are in serious trouble if our children are being taught that personal sacrifice and the necessary degree of courage are irrelevant and icky. My children are being shown that they must be sheepdogs; that they have a responsibility to others in need; that it is right to fight the good fight. We do our best to provide examples to emulate through our day-to-day behaviour.
We can only do so much, however. Government is not assisting this process.
I thank you for your continuing efforts, sir.
Mike, no, the quote was from Dune.
Thank you for the kind words. Isn’t Clarkson amazing???
1) The Helen Keller joke blindsided me. (Thank you. I’m here all week.)
Absolutely hilarious.
2) Dr. Pepper out the nose burns, and risks loss of a perfectly good keyboard.
3) Courage can be physical, moral, or both.
It’s on the military’s list of leadership traits.
Not by accident. On purpose.
Because it is impossible to lead without courage.
It’s also impossible to show courage in front of anyone without leading. Whether you meant to or not.
Period.
If you’re being courageous, you’re leading others.
If what you’re doing isn’t courageous, whatever you’re doing, it isn’t leadership.
Management maybe, or supervision, perhaps.
But if courage isn’t being demonstrated, leadership isn’t happening.
This pisses off managers and leaders, to the marrow of their bones, but it’s an inescapable truth.
That’s an excellent point. One courageous man will inspire those around him. Managers? Not so much.
Sorry ’bout the Dr. Pepper.