Friday Movies. Because I Said So.

“A slave stood behind the conqueror, holding a golden crown, and whispering in his ear a warning: that all glory is fleeting.” – Patton

Patton hated fighting against the German fighting tank. No one likes the Peter Panzer.

Last month I did a post on books. The response was amazing, and had lots of comments from folks that aren’t regular commenters. It also cost me about $50 in books that are now on my shelf and in the “to read” pile. And I thank you folks for that. Now I won’t get through my “to read” pile until 2254.

To follow up, I thought I’d bring up movies. Manly movies. This summer, Pugsley and The Boy and I spent several nights watching Man Movies. These were movies that I selected that exhibited manly virtues. I’ll go through some of them below.

I’ve selected movies that are greater than 17 years old. Why? Because of the second movie on the list. Otherwise it would be 20 years, and that’s a long time. My friend drove a limo for 20 years, and now in this economy has nothing to chauffer it.

One question I’ll answer about each one is does the movie pass the three criteria of the Bechdel Test? The Bechdel Test was devised by (really) 1980’s lesbian women to use as a criteria on what movies to watch. I’m not very optimistic that good Man Movies will pass this test:

  1. The movie has to have at least two women,
  2. who talk to each other,
  3. about something other than a man.

And no, none of these movies are about the invention of braille, even though I’ve heard that’s a great feel-good movie.

[ERROR 404: JOKE NOT FOUND]

First up:

Patton

Patton was my favorite movie the first time I watched it. How old was I? I was still in the PJ and Saturday morning cartoon set. As long-term readers might have guessed, I have a passion for history. General Patton (because of the movie Patton) is a primary reason I developed that love.

Patton also has a personal connection to the Wilder family. Pa Wilder was yelled at personally by General Patton. It turns out that Pa had been sent with orders to deliver supplies to a unit that didn’t exist. So, he’d stop and ask where the (I’m making this up) 551st Infantry Division was. There was no 551st Infantry. The United States Army was purposely trolling any spies that were in France. When Pa Wilder ended up at Patton’s 3rd Army and asked for the 551st, Patton yelled at Pa and then took all of the supplies. And all of the trucks. All of them. Pa Wilder and his company had to hop a ride to get back to Paris.

I walked in and The Mrs. was yelling at the TV: “Don’t go into the church, you moron!” She always gets emotional at our wedding videos.

I’m surprised Patton didn’t tell Pa and his Company to grab their M-1’s and hoof it to Bastogne.

(Note for newer readers who can do math: Ma and Pa Wilder adopted me after the wolves who raised me on Wilder Mountain decided I was too wild for them to continue having me around. Pa Wilder would be grandpa age, since I’m firmly a Gen X kid.)

One night this summer The Mrs. went to bed fairly early. I realized that neither Pugsley nor The Boy had seen Patton. The movie is nearly three hours in length. I expected that they’d watch a few minutes of it, pat me on the head for my love of this outdated movie, and move on.

Nope. They sat, riveted. When they had to go to the bathroom? “Hey, Dad, pause it, please.”

Does Patton pass the Bechdel Test? No. The only women I recall in the movie are a Garden Society that Patton gives a speech to. They have no lines. Would Patton be stronger if there was some subplot involving a young and brave female supersoldier who could fight even better than all the men because she’s the bestest ever?

Of course not.

I had trophy for winning a limbo competition, but it was stolen. How low can you get?

What Patton does, though, is inspire. He was a fountain of bravery and strength. He was probably the best fighting general the United States had in Europe. Patton’s sense of determination and destiny? The stuff of legend. Patton won Oscars® for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Director, Best Original Screenplay, and Most Manliest Movie Ever Made Up To 1970.

Not a second is wasted. The Boy and Pugsley finished the movie with me around 2AM on a Sunday morning. Good times.

Master and Commander: The Far Side of The World

I first watched this movie with The Boy when he was very young. Master and Commander tells the tale of fictional Captain Jack Aubrey and his ship’s surgeon as they sail on adventures during the Napoleonic wars before the French started surrendering every month when the power bill came in.

If you’re sad that you have never sailed across the Atlantic Ocean, remember, neither has the Titanic

The stunning thing about this movie is that it’s 100% Manly, even though it was made in 2003. The ship is crewed by men. They try to kill French men, who are in turn also manly. The only women seen in the movie are some native women who bring supplies to Captain Aubrey’s ship, the H.M.S. Surprise. Bechdel Test? Fail.

The rest of the movie?

Combat. Strategy. Honor. Tons of honor: there’s even a suicide done for the sake of honor.

And also a responsibility. In one scene, a 14 year old is left in command of the H.M.S. Surprise. The honor and responsibility are not lost on him: a continuing theme of this movie is the responsibility of command. Sure, if you’re the Captain you get the biggest bedroom on the ship. But the cost of that is responsible for every man on the ship, and even the ship itself.

The cinematography is amazing – and the H.M.S. Surprise is a real sailing ship. The movie didn’t make a bunch of money at the box office. That’s okay. At least they made it.

Russell Crowe plays Captain Aubrey. It’s his best role in any movie I’ve seen him in.

Zulu

The Battle of Rourke’s Drift is one of those, “did this really happen?” history moments. Several thousand Zulu warriors (3,000? 4,000?) attacked a small mission in South Africa in 1879. Who was left to defend it? About 150 troops, but only 120 of them were able to fight.

And who was in charge? An engineer. Lt. John Chard, who was described later as, “one of the most unambitious and ugly men” that particular general had ever met. That general had to award him the Victoria Cross (VC), which is the highest award Great Britain has for bravery. Smells like envy to me since the general never earned a VC himself. Also, 11 Victoria Crosses were awarded to soldiers at Rourke’s Drift. That’s not 1% of every Victoria Cross ever awarded.

But it’s close to 1% of all of them. Ever.

I did find a great new machine at the gym – it does everything: Chips. Cookies. Candy bars.

The 1964 movie Zulu is about that battle. It’s fairly unique in that the leader of the Zulu warriors attacking the British soldiers is played by the grandson of the Zulu chief who actually did attack Rourke’s Drift. Stanley Baker and Michael Caine play Lt. John Chard and Lt. Gonville Bromhead. Yes. That’s a real name. Someone actually named their child Michael.

Why is this movie great?

Well, it obviously fails the Bechdel Test, since there are zero conversations between women about anything.

But neither soldier really wants to command. Both of them (in real life) were described as wanting to smoke pipes and fish rather than work hard. Chard assumes command because he has to – he became a Lieutenant first.

The only way to win against 33 to 1 odds? Discipline. And the British soldiers showed it in abundance. They fought smartly, as a group. The movie is well paced, and Stanley Baker and Michael Caine tear up the screen. There are some historical inaccuracies, but it’s a movie, not a documentary.

Why is it manly?

Duty. Ingenuity. Unwillingness to give up.

The Thing

Since there are no women at all in The Thing (1982), it becomes the fourth out of four movies to fail the Bechdel Test. I’m thinking that 1980’s lesbian women probably aren’t good judges of movies I’ll like based on a criteria that has nothing to do with what makes a good movie. Good thing the Oscars® are joining them and demanding that arbitrary criteria are included in selecting the Best Picture Oscar™!

Chuck Norris was abducted by aliens. Once. That’s how we know that UFOs aren’t real.

The Thing was never in danger of winning an Oscar®. It’s a gore-fest John Carpenter movie. And it’s wonderful. If you don’t like horror movies – it’s not for you. But in this movie, Kurt Russell does his best Clint Eastwood imitation for the duration of the film and starts the movie by pouring scotch into a chess computer because it beats him.

The basic plot is that a small group of men are cut off from the world in Antarctica. Antarctica means “no bears.” Arctic means, from the Greek word, arktos, which means “bear.” Antarctica means the opposite, which would be no bears. But Kurt Russell has a manly beard that would make any bear claim him as their own.

The Thing is a great movie.

There is suspense. Just like evaluating a member of Congress, there is that moment when you have no idea who is good and who is bad.

But there is also the manly moment – when Kurt Russell stands up and decides he’s going to stop the alien. Is it because he’s a good guy? Yes. He decided fairly early in the movie that he was probably going to die, but that he would sacrifice everything so that a shape-shifting alien wouldn’t be able to escape Antarctica and become Billary Clinton.

The Thing again returns to the theme of being a man: Liking humans more than aliens. Willing to fight to the last to stop those aliens. Adapting to extreme changes in reality during the span of days.

I have a much longer list, but those are the four that made the cut for a very short list.

Your suggestions?

Author: John

Nobel-Prize Winning, MacArthur Genius Grant Near Recipient writing to you regularly about Fitness, Wealth, and Wisdom - How to be happy and how to be healthy. Oh, and rich.

117 thoughts on “Friday Movies. Because I Said So.”

    1. Well, it was my *first* favorite movie. If every American male was like George, our current troubles would be nonexistant. All of them.

  2. OK, now that I am more awake:

    – Excalibur

    By far the greatest sword-and-sorcery flick of all time. It came out in 1981 and I saw it in the theater at age 10 and some scenes would prove pivotal in kick starting puberty for me but the pageantry, the adventure and the soundtrack are without peer. As an adult I now recognize some of the deeper themes in the movie and it is worth watching over and over. Honorable mention: the first Conan with Arnold where he barely speaks.

    – The Outsiders

    I actually just read the book for the first time a few months ago and the film might be better. The cast is incredible, Matt Dillion, Patrick Swayze, Ralph Macchio, Emilio Estevez, Tom Cruise and the delicious, just turned 18, Diane Lane.

    – Blazing Saddles

    One of the greatest comedies of all time and one that is almost shocking now, even to someone who has seen it dozens of times. We were a better country when we were able to laugh about stuff instead of screaming at each other over our differences.

    – Unforgiven

    Not just the best Western of the modern era, the best Western ever. It is dark and violent and shows what frontier life was probably really like. Clint is at his best here. Honorable mentions: the True Grit remake and Open Range with Robert Duvall and Kevin Kostner.

    Guilty pleasure film…

    – Streets of Fire

    Also featuring Diane Lane (sensing a pattern) at the ripe old age of 19, Streets of Fire is full of great 80s music and some outstanding action. The final fight scene is one of the best in film.

    1. I loved Excaliber. Great movie. Good character arcs. Don’t like Lancelot.

      Never have seen any of the S.E. Hinton stuff on screen. My angst level wasn’t high enough? I’ll watch if you promise it’s good.

      Unforgiven – The Mrs.’ favorite Clint movie. Not mine. That’s below in the comments.

      I have never heard of Streets of Fire. Would have bet it involved Vanilla Ice or JCvD?

  3. One of my all time favorites is marginal on the test as there are actually two women as main characters.
    (Also one as a supporting waitress with cleavage, but that doesn’t count does it?)
    One is the Ex-wife that Clint is trying to get back as main squeeze…
    But the other women is actually a bar tender/owner so I don’t think this meets the disqualifying definition…
    And it has Clint Eastwood, so there is that…

    1. Heartbreak Ridge

    Someone else already got my 2nd fav… But I will simply agree with them rather than come up with something else…
    I sat down with my son (Mini Me) and we watched it and then talked about it. I was somewhat surprised at the number of Politically Correct assumptions and prejudices that he espoused. I shouldn’t have been surprised though since he is growing up immersed in our current self hating culture and attended 3 yrs of public school before we could find better education possibilities (Home and then a good Private school). But simply opening up the assumptions and having him examine his pre-programmed responses was a great learning experience for him and I hope let him see the danger of assuming that Politically Correct dogma can be quite confining. So my 2nd is still….

    2. Blazing Saddles

    And last but not least is one that I can only watch occasionally. It has courage, honesty, values, and self reliance by the metric tonnage. It is an oldie but a goodie. I would watch it more often but the ending always gets me cause I am convinced that the Good Lord gave us Dogs just to remind us what Unconditional Love, Loyalty and Faithfulness actually looks like on this world filled with every kind of man produced failing, weakness and sin…

    3. Old Yeller

    MSG Grumpy

      1. 10/10. That ‘s a perfect movie – I even quoted it last week with Pugsley. ” . . . just said I have no use for one.”

    2. MSG, I haven’t seen Heartbreak Ridge for decades. As far as my Clint movies go, this one seemed missing something?

      Loved Blazing Saddles. When I first saw it, the ending was confusing – but now? I think it’s perfect. The TV edit is the one I remember most.

      Old Yeller. Yup. Ever see Savage Sam, which was a sequel, of sorts?

  4. Breaker Morant,
    The Searchers,
    The Right Stuff,
    The Big Red One,
    The Lives of a Bengal Lancer,
    Glory,
    Jeremiah Johnson
    Big Trouble in Little China,

    1. A Man for All Seasons
      Henry V – the Kenneth Branaugh version
      James Bond (Sean Connery early versions, before he retired)
      Con Air
      Taken
      Hacksaw Ridge
      The Shootist
      Rio Bravo
      Olympus Has Fallen
      The Martian
      The Big Short (not all heroes use their fists)
      Galaxy Quest (sometimes, heroes are frightened and not ready for the conflict – but they don’t back down from the challenge)
      John Wayne – 3 Godfathers – trust me, it’s about bad men rising to the need

      1. Love all of them except the ones I haven’t seen:
        Taken
        The Shootist (I know, missing a John Wayne movie is a sin)
        The Big Short
        and 3 Godfathers . . .

        So I have work to do!

    2. Two of those were on my extended list. Loved Breaker Morant. (but it wasn’t on the list)

      I just rewatched Jeremiah Johnson, and it holds up very well.

      The Lives of a Bengal Lancer is now on my list . . . !

  5. Die Hard
    300
    The Untouchables
    (I agree with The Right Stuff)
    Where applicable, the book is usually better than the movie.

    2. I need to give The Untouchables another watch – I haven’t seen it in years – Billy Drago was amazing in it. The others are classics.

  6. Heat (1995). Best cops-and-robbers movie ever made. Plot driven by two teams of men, each of which is competent, capable, and motivated. The street shootout scene is fantastic. Rewards multiple viewings.

  7. LOL. Continuing my trip down memory lane of Girls I Took To The Movies, there’s no doubt in my mind of who saw Patton with me. At least the beginning of it. At the drive-in. Hi Kathy! And yes, I saw the whole thing beginning to end later on. Agreed, a classic masterpiece of a man movie.

    There’s gotta be a Bruce Willis movie on this list, and it’s Die Hard. Welcome to the party, pal!

    There’s gotta be a Bogart movie on this list, and it’s Treasure of the Sierra Madre. They didn’t need no stinking badges.

    There’s gotta be a Steve McQueen movie on this list, and it’s The Great Escape. He’s going with me.

    There’s gotta be a Paul Newman movie on this list, and since I’m not a hockey fan (Slap Shot), it’s Cool Hand Luke. Because the ultimate test of manhood is…ironically…eggs.

    There’s gotta be a Kirk Douglas movie on this list, and it’s Spartacus. I am Spartacus!

    (And speaking of Sparta….300. This is Sparta!)

    There’s gotta be an Alec Guinness movie on this list, and it’s The Bridge on the River Kwai. There is no civilization.

    There’s gotta be a Mad Max movie on this list, and since Fury Road highlights Furiosa, not Max, it’s The Road Warrior. Don’t try to catch the boomerang.

    There’s gotta be a cult classic on this list, and it’s The Warriors. Come out and play!

    There’s gonna be another cult classic on this list, and it’s Billy Jack. One tin soldier walks away.

    2. Die Hard is an annual at Wilder Manor. Christmas.

      I thought about Bogart and nearly added same – and Treasure would have been my adder.

      The Great Escape nearly made it, as did Bridge on the River Kwai. Both wonderful films, but at a certain point my list would have been entirely British. Road Warrior is the best of the Mad Max series.

      Ha! Yup, Warriors was a good cult classic.

      But I’ve never seen Billy Jack.

      300 was on the extended list . . .

  8. How could you not have “The Longest Day” on your list….? Superbly accurate. Full of big name actors.

    Likewise, another movie made accurately and full of manly action is “Blackhawk Down”.

    And we should not forget about Saving Ryan’s Privates…. a made up story based on a real family that lost three sons: “Saving Private Ryan”.

    Patton was a great combat leader credited with much that later in was revealed when the book THE ULTRA SECRET was published in mid-1970’s. Breaking the German codes allowed the Allies to know the weak spots in German lines. Patton was told of those weaknesses and pushed through.

    All in all, we could have used several more generals like him. Recommend all go to Fort Knox to the Patton Museum, if you get in the vicinity. It is open to the public but you may have to get a gate pass which costs nothing, like the museum.

    1. I’ve never seen The Longest Day. On the list. Blackhawk Down was one of the first 20 DVDs I ever owned. Great flick. Saving Private Ryan is likewise a great one.

      Didn’t know that part about Patton’s 3rd. Need to go visit the museum.

  9. I’m partial to Conan the Barbarian. I mean, who doesn’t grow an insta-beard with lines like this?

    Conan’s Father speaking to him: Fire and wind come from the sky, from the gods of the sky, but Crom is your god. Crom, and he lives in the Earth. Once giants lived in the Earth, Conan, and in the darkness of chaos they fooled Crom, and they took from him the enigma of steel. Crom was angered, and the Earth shook, and fire and wind struck down these giants, and threw their bodies into the waters. But in their rage, the gods forgot the secret of steel, and left it on the battlefield. We, who found it, are just men: not gods, not giants, just men. And the secret of steel has always carried with it a mystery. You must learn its riddle, Conan, you must learn its discipline. For no one, no one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts… This you can trust. [points to his sword]

    Khitan General: My fear is that my sons will never understand me… Hao! Dai ye! We won again! [Cheers] This is good. But what is best in life?
    Khitan Warrior: The open steppe, a fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
    Khitan General: Wrong! Conan, what is best in life?
    Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!
    Khitan General: [Cheers]…That is good.

    John Milius made some macho movies. Check out his filmography. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Milius

    Its a murderers row of manliness…I’m off to drink some whisky. Got a problem with that, friend?

    1. Okay, I was looking up how to contact Milius so I could interview him for this blog (didn’t get far). Love his work. A true American.

  11. One of the great things about Zulu is how it portrays the Zulu warriors, as adversaries to be respected, not just feared. Probably because they were played by actual Zulus.

    Can’t find anything to object to in previous comments, so I just add:

    Ice Station Zebra

    Where Eagles Dare

    The Guns of Navarone

    Oh, and some movies not by or based on Alistar McLean’s work:

    A Bridge Too Far

    Battle Ground

    The Enemy Below

    The Outlaw Josie Wales

    1. Seen (almost) all of those. Just rewatched The Guns of Navarrone a few weeks ago. Good, solid movie.

      Where Eagles Dare is wonderful.

      But you have a gem at the bottom: My Favorite Clint movie – The Outlaw Josey Wales.

      That was nearly number four, but I couldn’t remember if grandma talked to Ms. Locke. So I popped The Thing in so that I could finish the post.

      Best Clint movie ever, my opinion.

  12. OUTLAW JOSEY WALES:
    A hero’s journey!
    An all-male tough-as-nails get-it-done cast.
    Although Ruth Gordon and Sandra Locke have minor supporting roles as bull-dykes in skirts, I’m pretty sure the two sport matching ‘BFYTW’ tattoos on their trigger-fingers.

    The incomparable Will Sampson portrays a stabilizing counter-point to the delightfully unhinged Bill McKinney.
    Chief Dan George offers a joyous comic relief.
    The sparse dialogue and minimal interactions are perfectly balanced with the vast landscapes.

    Very satisfying on each of my annual viewings since its 1976 birth.

    *****

    During his decades with Warner [spit] studios, Clint Eastwood trod a razor-edge of not offending his masters while producing clear masculine role-models.

    1. One could go on and on with the Eastwood movies, but I certainly agree Jose Wales is at the top of the list. Vultures gotta eat just like the worms do.

      Unforgiven, Where Eagles Dare, Dirty Harry – obvious classics. But equally amazing is that Clint is still starring in manly movies during his twilight years: Gran Torino, The Mule….

      One of the most underrated Eastwood movies IMHO is The Eiger Sanction. That is one manly movie. Twenty second clip:

      https://youtu.be/9vnmugDJDWU

      Clint gets my vote as the most manly movie man, while acknowledging he’s got some mighty stiff competition.

      https://youtu.be/K1vZq3bTS_Y

    2. As mentioned above, this would have been in the post if I had re-watched it, and is, by far, my favorite Eastwood movie.

      I watch it whenever it’s on. Amazing film.

  13. LE MANS:
    The 1966 fictionalized tale of the Formula One road-race season in some foreign city.
    The place doesn’t matter.
    The year doesn’t matter.
    The drivers don’t matter.
    This is a contest of noise-producing machines.

    John Frankenheimer’s classic stars the always-charming James Garner pitted against the always-charming Yves Montand.
    The actors are secondary, mere supports, to the noise and tensions — and the smells of exhaust and skidding tires — of a make-or-break competition.

    Pit-stops are frantic, crane-shots interwoven with quick-cuts of knee-level panic.
    The director is in several scenes as we see him shouting unheard instructions to Garner, the racket from screaming engines accentuating the pacing.

    Garner boinks some nameless faceless groupie, and that is part of the journey.

  14. Big Trouble in Little China –> Mentioned above but I second it
    The Great Escape –> More duty per inch of celluloid than any movie in existence
    The Maltese Falcon –> How to complete the mission while dodging womanly wiles
    Casablanca –> A duty movie hiding inside a fake romance movie
    Predator –> In the same bucket as The Thing
    The Rock –> Anyone seen this lately? I remember it having manly themes, but that was years ago

    I went on a Bogart kick about a month ago; The African Queen and Treasure of the Sierra Madre could be on the list but they aren’t as high on the ‘manly/entertaining’ scale as Falcon and Casablanca.

    1. Great Escape and Predator were on the list. I didn’t have any Bogie movies on the list, because they didn’t impress me when I was 18. Perhaps worthy of a re-look.

      I can, of course, do the lines from Big Trouble by heart.

      Boy . . . been forever on The Rock.

  15. THE BIG RED ONE:
    1980, written and directed by WW2 combat veteran Sam Fuller.

    WW2 combat veteran Lee Marvin leads a team of youngsters, but the kids are mere scenery.
    Lee Marvin growls and grunts and tosses away severed genitalia.
    Lee Marvin and his German counterpart echo the line about soldiers have nothing to do with wars.

    Although little growth develops during the hero journey of Marvin, I think the story’s strength is in his steadfastness.
    He possesses so much experience with the two World Wars, he can walk through an ambush without raising a sweat.

    His mentoring of his young charges illustrates the patience he learned from his mentors.

    Watching this once a decade since 1980, it remains fresh… and topical.

    The work of Lee Marvin is an American national treasure.

    1. Good choice, I like The Big Red One also. Saving Private Ryan showed elite Rangers climbing against the epic sweep of the cliffs on D-Day. TBRO showed everyday grunts on their stomachs focused against a roll of barbed wire in the sand. A lot cheaper to film – equal levels of drama. Mark Hamill shows he can portray a soldier with an M1 as well as one with a lightsaber.

    2. I loved everything Lee Marvin did, and when you add Clint Eastwood you can even make a musical that has manly man creds
      Can you say?
      Paint your wagon.
      I knew you could
      I did not know that Lee and Clint could sing….
      I still don’t know if they can, but I enjoy that movie

      MSG Grumpy

    4. That was a really good movie. I haven’t seen it on any of the streaming services. Wonder why? Great Lee Marvin movie.

  16. IL POSTINO:
    1994.

    A poet retires to a remote Mediterranean isle.
    He receives so much mail, a local is hired to deliver his mail… the ‘il postino’ for the island’s growing fascination with the reclusive foreigner.

    As the relationship between the two vastly different men grows into mutual admiration and friendship, the poet encourages the mailman to explore his creative side.
    That exploration leads to deep changes in each man… inevitably causing the demise of the seeker.

    The soundtrack is a subtle member of the scenery.

    This is a small movie with small actors in small roles.
    No car chases, no explosions, the drama is vague, described rather than shown.
    I think IL POSTINO is required viewing.

    I own the companion CD with snippets of the poet’s work read by renowned vocalists such as Sting, Samuel L.Jackson, Wesley Snipes, Willem Defoe, and other appreciators of small movies interspersed with segments of the fine score.

    1. Okay, now this is on the list, too. I imagined this one was Europeans arguing about fancy bread and burnt coffee.

  17. Tora! Tora! Tora! – Your enemy may be an honorable opponent following dishonorable orders. Plus, the State Department has been useless (when not actively malicious) for a long, long time.

    Secondhand Lions – How to raise a boy to be a man, accelerated course. Plus, hunting fish (and salesmen) with shotguns.
    * Hub: Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things that a man needs to believe in the most: that people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; that love, true love, never dies… No matter if they’re true or not, a man should believe in those things because those are the things worth believing in.
    * Hub: If you need somethin’, you’d best find it yourself, or even better, learn to do without.
    * Hub: I’m Hub McCann. I’ve fought in two world wars, and countless smaller ones on three continents. I’ve led thousands of men into battle with everything from horses and swords to artillery and tanks. I’ve seen the headwaters of the Nile and tribes of natives no white men had ever seen before. I’ve won and lost a dozen fortunes, killed many men, and loved only one woman with a passion a flea like you could never begin to understand. That’s who I am.

    The Lion in Winter – The King has to break the ice in the bucket to wash his face in the morning. There are two women, but one is just a lust interest, and the other is Eleanor of Aquitaine as played by Katherine Hepburn. Tons of great quotes:
    * Henry II: I’ve snapped and plotted all my life. There’s no other way to be a king, alive and fifty all at the same time.
    Possibly the greatest political treatise ever uttered on film:
    * Henry II: The Vexin’s mine.
    Philip II: By what authority?
    Henry II: It’s got my troops all over it; that makes it mine.
    King Henry’s thoughts on love and marriage:
    * Henry II: I want no women in my life.
    Princess Alais: You’re tired.
    Henry II: I could have conquered Europe – all of it – but I had women in my life.

    The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension – The undoubtedly true story of the last 1980’s Renaissance man, his mighty band of adventurers, and his private army of volunteers versus evil red Lectroids from Planet 10.
    * Buckaroo: Wherever you go, there you are.

    Red Dawn – Wolverines!

    1. Red Dawn was on the extended list. Love the Lion in Winter and Tora! Tora! Tora!

      I have never heard of Secondhand Lions – on the list!

  18. RORY O’SHEA WAS HERE:
    2004.

    A couple gimps ‘blow this popsicle stand’.
    Hilarity ensues.

    Nothing is as it seems in this Irish drama of evolution in two ‘brothers from different mothers’.

    I suspect you might emerge from the other side of this movie a changed person.
    Give it a shot.

  19. Everyone else has covered the movies I would list so I won’t repeat things already listed. But I have to say you are absolutely on fucking fire with your humor in this post. The girls mother passed last evening and we both need a laugh. Thank You!

  20. Everyone else has covered the movies I would list so I won’t repeat things already listed. But I have to say you are absolutely on fucking fire with your humor in this post. The girls mother passed last evening and we both need a laugh. Thank You!

  22. Kelly’s Hero’s – what a cast: Clint Eastwood, Telly Savalas, Caroll O’Conner, Don Rickels, Donald Sutherland, – “don’t hit me with those negative waves Moriarty.” And because I like oddball stuff – “A Colt is My Passport” – a great 1960’s vintage Japanese yakuza flick – back when the Japanese all drove Fords. I presume “Kill Bill” wouldn’t pass the Bechdel test due to the female lead . . . Uma Thurman

    1. I’ve made The Boy and Pugsley watch Kelly’s Heroes. Great movie. Also made ’em watch Kill Bill. I guess I’d say how did we miss Reserviour Dogs?

  23. Let’s see, we watched Where Eagles Dare the other night. Tonight’s dinner & a movie feature is The Enemy Below. I too love historical movies and documentaries thanks to my 5th grade teacher (and smokin’ hot crush) Miss James (Ms. hadn’t been invented yet) for having us watch William L. Shirer’s The Third Reich. And no, grief counselors didn’t have to be called in after seeing the parts where the concentration camps were liberated and stacks of decomposing dead bodies were viewed by us kids.
    Remember, we grew up with Duck & Cover reminders every other week…..

  24. Escape From New York (1982)
    The Good, The Bad, The Ugly (1966)
    Conan the Barbarian (1981)
    Mad Max II – The Road Warrior (1981)
    84 Charlie Mopic (1989)
    The Siege Of Firebase Gloria (198?)
    Enemy At The Gates (2001)

    1. Of course Escape From New York was on the extented list.

      Rewatched Firebase Gloria three months ago. Enemy at the Gates was required watching.

      84 Charile Mopic? On the list.

  25. I like the Hunger Games set and Red Dawn (1984 version) for the same reason.

    Both involved people that wanted to be left alone, but compelling personal circumstances dragged them into the fight.

    And when forced into combat, they performed well against terrible odds.

  27. The Magnificent Seven was a direct steal of The Seven Samurai, the original is far superior. Be sure o see the 4 hour version as the shortened ones are butchered. Clint Eastwood’s nameless trilogy must also be added to the list.

  28. I love that you love Master and Commander. It’s one of my all-time favorites, along with Patton, The Right Stuff, Tombstone, Unforgiven, and Saving Private Ryan.

    Lots of good movies on this list. I would add a few of more recent vintage that do include womenfolk, but still qualify as movies that promote manly virtues:

    – We Were Soldiers. It’s hard to think of anyone more unafraid to show the brutality of war than Mel Gibson. He doesn’t shy away from it at all, and this movie is about toughness and grit turned up to eleven.

    – Gran Torino. This is about duty, honor, and keeping a neat lawn. One of Clint Eastwood’s best, in my opinion.

    -Lonesome Dove. Technically a mini-series, but impossible to ignore when it’s on. Augustus McRae and Captain Call are two of the most iconic characters of the old west you could possibly imagine.

    – The Gringo. Another Mel Gibson sleeper. He likes playing anti-hero’s.

    – Payback. Yeah, I like Mel Gibson movies. The “hero” is not admirable, but he’s tough as hell, and not greedy. He’s got a code that he lives by and that’s all that matters. “This little piggy went to market…”

    1. Mel is a treasure. Rewatched Apocalypto last night. As well as Get the Gringo! A winner.

      I haven’t seen Payback?

      Yay!

      Loved Lonesome Dove.

  29. The Godfather Trilogy – I was good, II was better, III was at least watchable.
    This Island Earth – Who doesn’t like Faith Domergue? Howard Hughes sure did!
    M*A*S*H – Hot Lips and other parts
    A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court – the Bing Crosby version
    12 Angry Men – one of the best courtroom dramas
    Strategic Air Command – Jimmy Stewart..nuff said
    The Big Chill – The soundtrack alone worth the price of admission
    Basic Instinct – you know why….
    The Time Machine – 1960 version..great special effects for its time
    Forbidden Planet – see above and based on The Tempest so you get your culture along with Robbie the Robot and Ann Francis!
    The Bishop’s Wife – great Christmas movie – Holiday tradition for us
    The Court Jester – Danny Kaye at his best – The vessel with the Pestle after all…

    1. I’ve added The Godfather to my list a while back. Just need a spare moment.

      M*A*S*H saw that uncut on late night. Ha! Hilarious.

      Now the biggest gem on this list might be The Time Machine – that was a classic film. Very well done.

      The chalice in the palace?

  30. I forgot to add what I think is the epitome of the Dad movie: Airplane! I know of no woman who will watch it end to end and giggle the whole way like a man will. The Missus will watch it only to give her eye-roll exercises a work out.

    But the best way to watch Airplane! is in a double-feature with Zero Hour (the 1950’s movie it was based on). You will HOWL at Zero Hour! It will be FUNNIER than Airplane! because it is played totally straight. They weren’t making a comedy, but I guarantee you will supply all the funny lines and be rolling on the floor and be giggling for hours after.

    Zero Hour. You MUST see this movie. It’s on YouTube. (search “Zero Hour movie”)

    1. re:
      ZERO HOUR preview

      I can hear the director yelling “EMOTE! EMOTE!”

      Hilarious!

  31. I’d add Twelve O’Clock High and Apollo 13 to the short list of solid manly old movies.

    For a recent flick: I asked my wife what the message was as we came out of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. She said “it was a movie about real men.” I watch that movie now with a whole new perspective and appreciation.

    1. Twelve O’Clock High is now on the list. Apollo 13 is a “if it’s on, we watch it.”

      Enjoyed Once Upon a Time.

  32. Lethal Weapon 1 and 2 (How they mess with the psychologist woman)
    Back to the Future 1-2-3 (there’s a woman at the beginning of the second movie, but the Doc puts her to sleep right away)
    Cobra (the dude cuts his pizza with a pair of scissors, +10 man points just for that)
    Apocalypse Now (the women in this movie are Playboy bunnies, they show tits)
    Full metal jacket (gook girl at the end, she dies)
    The Thing (I agree 100%, awesome movie)
    Predator (The dude ain’t got time to bleed. +100 man points. I was born a girl, I transformed into a man after watching this film when I was 10)
    Indiana Jones 1-2-3
    Commando (After I was transformed into a man after watching predator, I watched Commando and I grew a third testicle)
    Aliens (the women have balls in this one. Vasquez HAS BEEN mistaken for a man)
    Escape From New York (the 1981 film, not the 2020 exodus)
    The Beast Must Die (old Amicus movie)
    The Dollars trilogy

  33. Master and Commander, Zulu, Longest Day… All good stuff. But let me add Gettysburg. Maybe there are women in it but I don’t care. Love the determination of Josh Chamberlain (Jeff Daniels with splendid moustache) to hold his fragile position come what may. An awesome movie.

  35. Sorry, but Michael Caine’s real name is……….wait for it,………. Maurice Micklewhite!

  37. No one mentioned “The Godfather” or “Apocalypse Now”?

    Not even “Deathwish”?

      1. Haven’t watched that one, but “Death Hunt” is my favorite Bronson flick.

        And I can’t believe I forgot “Falling Down”….

  40. ULEE’S GOLD:
    1997.

    After a long career of exploitive rubbish, Peter Fonda stars in a small story about an almost-hermit combat veteran bee-keeper quietly tuned to the Florida jungle.
    He is raising his ‘orphaned’ grandchildren in the humblest manner possible… not because that is expected, but because that is the nature of family.

    Their quiet home is threatened by criminals.
    He does his duty quietly and efficiently… not because he needs to, but because family does that.

    After her rescue from the criminals, the scenes of helping his daughter-in-law through her cold-turkey withdrawals are heart-wrenchingly necessary… because family does that.

    A quiet man.
    Fulfilling his position as head of his tribe.
    Because men do that.

  41. Great movies all, it add to the list Bladerunner (directors cut).

    And the Lighthorsemen. The Australian Light Horse charging Turkish artillery during the frat war, and it happened

  42. The Enemy Below and Das Boot (my father chased U-boats in the N. & S. Atlantic)

    Kelly’s Heroes (trifecta – comedy, crime, war)

    The Big Lebowski (great sports film “Let’s get us a lane, Donnie.” Maude doesn’t count.

  43. The Patriot
    We were Soldiers young
    Man on Fire
    Blackhawk Down
    Tears of the Sun
    Lonesome Dove
    Gran Torino
    The Last Samurai
    Colors
    Training Day

  44. Die Hard – Yippie Kai Aye
    Die Hard 4: Live Free or Die Hard – the “that guy” speech makes it: “Trust me kid, nobody wants to be that guy. [I do this] because there is nobody else to do it right now. Believe me if there was somebody else to do it, I would let them do it. There’s not, so [I’m] doing it. That’s what makes you that guy.”
    The Last Boyscout – McClane, strike that, Hallenbeck gets beat up. A lot. Much cracking of wise and bad guys getting dead. “Okay, what would Joe do at a time like this? He’d kill everybody and smoke some cigarettes.” Think of it as an alternate timeline for Die Hard.

    The Equalizer – Denzel does revenge really well. Gore was a little over the top, but it’s a great story.
    The Equalizer 2 – Possibly even better than the first. Gore is toned down, less campy.
    Hon. Mention – Man on Fire – A little too dark and morose for a manly movie, but Walken never disappoints and Denzel brings the best violence.

    Serenity – yes, it’s got lots of strong womyn, including superwaif, but it’s eminently quotable and provides many arguments against statism. The Firefly show is excellent as well.

    The Accountant – Affleck is a fairly wooden actor, with little emotional range. It makes him perfect for the role of an autistic forensic accountant for criminals.

    Heartbreak Ridge – of course. My biggest issue watching this with the kids is the language. Appropriate for the topic, but wow.
    Gran Torino

    Battle Los Angeles – leadership, teamwork, sacrifice; against an alien horde

    Outlander – Beowulf story with aliens, and dragons.

    1. Loved the Accountant – it’s a constant “put it on, I’m blogging” movie. Loved the list – and how many people have seen Outlander, right???

      1. The Accountant and Outlander were both random items I dropped in the queue. I’m not sure either was actually released to theaters. I have a fondness for any Beowulf retelling, but I think Outlander is my favorite. The 13th Warrior is decent as well. Both The Accountant and Outlander are on our short list for what to watch when we can’t think of anything.

        I’m fortunate, my wife does not like chick flicks. She enjoys action, things being blown up, and bad guys getting their due. She does prefer the guy to get the girl in the end, which is why the Bourne Identity and Bourne Legacy are watched and the rest of the series never happened.

        Since vengeance is a popular genre for us, Peppermint is also a great movie.

        And since I’ve veered way off topic, I’ll make three vampire recommendations:
        Dracula Untold – this is a great story of how Dracula became a vampire, and why. Lots of action, really more adventure than horror.
        Fright Night (2011 version) – This is everything the 1985 version should have been. Setting it in Vegas was genius. The bad guy is really creepy, Evil Ed is tragic, the girlfriend isn’t a whiny git, and the end fight is awesome.
        30 Days of Night – this is a scary vampire movie. Set in Alaska, a group of vampire roll into town just as it’s buttoning up for a month of no sun.

        1. I enjoyed Peppermint quite a lot.

          Okay, now I have to find Dracula Untold and Firght Night. Enjoyed 30 Days of Night.

  45. Someone already beat me to the suggestion of “Tombstone”.

    I was always partial to “The 13th Warrior”

  46. Full Metal Jacket and Platoon for those of us in or near the VN vet demographic. Powerful stuff.

  47. The most manly virtue is invention. When women have the chance they often make good soldiers, good leaders, great but bad leaders, good fire fighters, good survivors, good scientists, good academics, good artists etc.

    But one role seems to be still dominated by men even in this age of female opportunity. That is the Inventor.
    So here are three great movies about great inventors:
    1) Colossus: The Forbin Project (1970). Dr. Charles Forbin is an amazing inventor.
    2) The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984). Buckaroo Banzai is an amazing inventor.
    3) Fantastic Four (2005) Dr. Reed Richards is an amazing inventor.
    And they all show that most manly of virtues: invention.

  48. Three old and three new:

    The Thin Man – 1930s comedy/mystery with William Powell.

    My Man Godfrey – Another 1930s movie, again with William Powell. This one a comedy where William Powell plays a “forgotten man” hired on as a butler by a wealthy eccentric family.

    To Have and Have Not – 1940s Bogart in the adaption of a Hemingway book. He plays a boat captain in the Vichy French Carribean that gets involved with aiding the French resistance.

    1917 – definitely worth watching, amazing that it was made within the last year or so. WWI.

    They Shall Not Grow Old – Another WWI film of recent years. This one being more of a documentary being a collection of actual film from WWI colorized with the words of actual soldiers being read as narration.

    The Highwaymen – Costner and Harrelson play the lawmen that track and kill Bonnie and Clyde.

    Special Mention: Deathwish – both the the 1970s original with Charles Bronson and the remake with Bruce Willis are entertaining. The original is the better of the two. There are a bunch of Deathwish sequals, which can be fun but they become more and more ridiculous in each iteration. The first one is the most realistic and gritty of the series and this is reflected in the 2018 remake with Bruce Willis.

Comments are closed.