Naughty Girls And Inner Peace: A Short Guidebook

“Okay, Wang, let’s just chew our way out.” – Big Trouble in Little China

Who wears a red suit and knows if you’ve been naughty or nice?  The Spanish Inquisition.  Bet you weren’t expecting that.

It’s Friday.  So why not be happy?

In truth, being happy is one of the easiest things to do, most of the time.  You just do it.  It’s literally as easy as just telling yourself, “I’m happy now.”

I know that there are difficult things going on in the world, and on days that aren’t Friday I spend a lot of time writing about them, because I like to do my best to try to get the Truth out.  I firmly believe that some things are utterly predictable in life, like what happens when Democrats get to count votes.

If I drop a glass from five feet above my ceramic tile floor in the kitchen, 999 times out of 1,000 it’s going to break.  It doesn’t take psychic powers to tell me that.

I’m horrible at predicting the future.  I guess you could call me a non-prophet.

But I certainly can’t tell you where all of the pieces are going to go, and I can’t tell you what shape each piece will be in.  I can only guess.

Most of the things that are going on in the world are like that falling glass, and most of the questions we have are how is it going to break.  Yeah, $34 trillion in debt is unsustainable – some people work a whole year and don’t make that much.  How will I do?  I really don’t know.

I can, maybe, make some changes that make the crack up a little better for me.  Maybe not – there’s a lot of things that can happen, since, as Yogi Berra said, “Prediction is hard, especially about the future.”

So, when I’ve done the thinks that I think I can do, and it’s the end of the day, I turn it off.  I don’t fret.  I don’t worry about the things I can’t control.  Unlike a Clinton, I let life happen.

Suicide hotline put my uncle on hold, just left him hanging.

In the words of the youth, I “touch grass”, which is the phrase of those hep cats who caution that we can make ourselves crazy by losing touch with those things around us, like nature.  I good walk on a cool autumn day as the Sun starts to become dimmer with its march towards winter is . . . awesome.

We have the choice, each day as to how we’re going to feel about the day.

Most of the time that I’m feeling glum, it’s not at all about what has happened, instead it’s about what might happen.  In the words of Mark Twain, “Worrying is paying interest on a debt you might not even owe.”

In that case, I know the answer to “What Color Is Your Parachute” – that would be red.

I can think of a million things that can go wrong before lunch, if I let myself.  I prefer not to get wrapped up in that sort of thought, so I try to limit my worries to things that it might be good to worry about, things like, “Is there another beer in the beer fridge?”

It is, generally, easy to just take a step back and smile.  Even if I’m out of beer, it doesn’t mean that life is bad.

Most often, I get upset when I find that life isn’t doing what I want it to do.  This happens much more than I’d like, obviously.  I don’t give up, but I also want to keep focused on a simple idea – life happens the way it happens.  I can do my best to alter outcomes here and there (which is part of the reason that I write) but in the end I have to understand and make peace with the idea that, although I certainly won’t go gently onto that goodnight, I can learn to make peace with it.

If you can’t win the Nobel Peace Prize, might as well try for the Darwin Award.

The other thing I’ve had to come to grips with, is often my plans sorta suck.  If everything had gone the way I wanted it to go, in most cases it would have been horrible for me.  As much as I plan, my plans fail to see the things that have helped me grow as a person and become better.

I don’t think that if every plan I made would have come true that I would be as happy as I am now.  I certainly wouldn’t have accomplished as much.

In the end, I’m not content.  I’m not satisfied.  And I’m always trying to get better.

But I can be happy, too.