Old-Time Television, Polical Trends, and Civil War II for Fat People

“Well, l could be wrong, but l believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.” – Anchorman

The Battleship Texas, reporting for tourists!  Hopefully fat ones!

Data Point:  I was at a club function with The Mrs., The Mrs.’ Mom, and The Mrs.’ Grandfather several years ago.  The Mrs.’ Grandfather was in the Army Air Corps in World War II, so he’s getting along in years.  Standing up and sitting down is tough on him.

The club opened with both a prayer, and then the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag.  You were supposed to stand for both.  The Mrs.’ Grandfather didn’t attempt to stand for the prayer, but when it came time to stand for the Pledge, he was standing straight and tall with his hand over his heart.  It was as if his loyalty to his country was in fact his real religion.

Data Point:  I grew up in a rural area – no cable for us.  It was in the mountains, so we didn’t even reception from the television station directly – we got it from a “translator” that took the original signal from the television station and converted it to a UHF signal to be rebroadcast to us mountain folk.  Consequently there were only three networks – ABC, NBC, and CBS.  We also got PBS, but who counted PBS??

The next day at school, we’d talk about the same shows.  Different races, different home languages in some cases, and different religions.  The commonality was our love (generally) of the same television shows – we all watched Family Feud®.  Our teachers were strong believers in America.  And our faith in the United States prevailing over the godless communists of the Soviet Union was strong.  We knew we could win.  And it was (after Vietnam) a time (mostly) free of war.  Even the first Gulf War was over in an afternoon.

Data Point:  For most of the nation’s post-Civil War history, the undercurrent of a single, cohesive nation, the undercurrent of optimism carried through the nation.  We were America, and it was morning here.  You might have voted against Carter, or Reagan, or Bush (I) or Clinton, but nobody said “not my president.”  Carter may have had crappy economic policy, but his commitment to building the United States’ military (stealth aircraft, improved submarines and missiles) gave Reagan the weapons to end the Cold War peacefully.

We were one as a country – bound by the civic religion of love for country, the nominal shared Christian values, and the overwhelmingly focused popular culture.

I’m not sure when it really began, the great fissures in American society.  Some may point to Reagan.  Some may point to the Clinton Impeachment.  Others may point to changing demographics.  Others may point back to Glubb’s (LINK) study of the end of empires.

But progressives were 100% certain that they would own the future and the presidency for . . . forever.  After W. termed out, the idea that Obama ushered in a year of final, complete progressive control was even more manifest.  And now, in the post-Obama era we have greater divisions than ever in my lifetime.

Why?

Well, for one thing, a vast majority of the citizens felt the civic religion my Grandfather-in-law felt when he stood up for the pledge.  There was a feeling of faith and reverence for all things American.  And why not?  The United States was the strongest economic and military power the world had ever seen.  And most of what we were responsible for, we felt was to make the world a better place.  Who was trying to get the Egyptians and Israelis to stop killing each other?  Carter.  Who was trying to limit nuclear weapons?  Reagan.  Bush (I) liberated Kuwait.  Everyone generally was in favor of that.  Clinton?  Well, he got a participation trophy – but didn’t mess too much up.

Also, values used to be common.  Mainstream Protestant Christianity was pretty much the assumed norm.  And the values of Protestants (egalitarianism, hate of nepotism, belief in hard work leading to success through a meritocracy, looking down on unwed pregnancy and single motherhood, and salvation through faith) were fairly benign.  You didn’t have to be a Protestant for a Protestant to like you, and as religions go, Protestantism is probably the most comfortable religion with a secular state.  As I heard it said once, “Welcome to the Methodists!  We’re not against anything!”

And popular culture was small (three stations!) and opinions were more limited.  No matter who you were with, you had something in common.  You didn’t like the same candidate, right, but at least you liked the same sports team.  Or the same sport.  Now, given the Internet and the explosion of cable channels, you might never watch the same show as your friends.  The commonality of popular culture is simply gone.

I think it might have been the division was seen in earnest in the 2000 election – the bitter, close win by W. was (maybe) the spark that lit the fire.  Was the degree of anger during this election and the aftermath partially in response to the Clinton Impeachment?  Probably.

Since the 2000 election, one side or the other has felt the presidential election wasn’t legitimate.  So, for the last 18 years, half-ish of the country has really, really, really had a deep hate for the president.  That’s new.  And there are a group of people in America today who actively despise the country.  That’s new, too.  And, they despise its history, too.  And they also despise showers, from the pictures I’ve seen.

If you look at the recent destruction/removal of Civil War statues, I get concerned.  The statues were a part of the reconciliation effort after the Civil War – part of the bargain for bringing us back together as a nation was that we embraced each other.  Oh, sure, there would never be a statue to General Grant or Abraham Lincoln in Atlanta, but General Lee could be rehabilitated as a military genius who was asked by both sides to lead their army.  These statues weren’t put up like statues of Lenin or Stalin – memorials to oppressive leaders – this might be the first war in history where statues of the losers were put up on territory they lost.

Sam Houston, in Houston.  Let’s see you take this one down . . . .

We have fractured into a thousand different values.  And a thousand different cultures.  I’ve actually seen it said on the Internet that America has no set culture or values and never has.  Our sense of purpose has gone from winning the Cold War to . . . what?  Something centered around the Kardashians?

We cannot continue like this, but the necessary preconditions to Civil War are (thankfully!) not here.  Our economy is strong, so people feel they have something to lose, so they won’t fight.  Fanatics on either side aren’t geographically separated (think north and south in the Civil War) so that’s another plus.  There don’t appear to be two military sides, so that’s helpful, too.

What next, then?

Well, Yogi Berra said it best, “Predicting is hard, especially about the future.”

• We won’t become as cohesive again, outside of war. Once the group is shattered, it’s shattered.
• We will find it difficult to agree on any national goals, outside of crisis.

Things I’m guessing:

• We won’t see anything like a conventional war. We’ve spent too much money and are too good at it for anyone else to play.  Any external conflict will be far sneakier, and far nastier.  Think all the computers not working.  Or all of the Pop-Tarts® being the icky brown sugar ones.
• Add a sufficient economic crisis, and all bets are off internally. I don’t think a second Great Depression (absent all of the welfare) will be peaceful.  At all.  Maybe not a civil war, maybe just anarchy.
• People will call the future situation “bad luck” despite the clear predictability from every civilization undergoing the same circumstances throughout history (again, see my Glubb post: (LINK)).

I, for one, want to make video games, carbonated soda, Doritos™ and Twinkies® federally subsidized (free) for everyone.  That way, if Civil War II ever comes?  Everyone will be fat and slow and probably in sweatsuits.  It might make for the most humorous war in history.