Outcome Independence: It’s Not Just For Breakfast Anymore.

“I’m not a comic book villain.  Do you think I’d explain my masterstroke to you if there were even the slightest possibility you could affect the outcome?  I triggered it 35 minutes ago.” – Watchmen

A photon walks into a hotel.  The bellman asks, “Can I help you with your bags?”  The photon says, “No, I’m travelling light.”

One concept that I love is “outcome independence”.  I’d define it this way – you go out and do your best, and whatever happens, happens.

When put that simply, it sounds like it would be mad folly to operate in any other way.  But all too often I find that I slip into a different mode:  trying to win.  These two aren’t the same, and in many cases, they’re not even compatible.

I’ll go with an example I’ve probably trotted out before:  asking a girl out on a date.

Someone called me lazy today.  I almost replied.

When I was a freshman in high school, I saw a girl that I thought was smart and cute.  I called her up because I knew her number because phone books were a thing, and said, “Hey, I was wondering if you’d like to go see a movie?”

Her response was fairly straightforward:  “No, I’m busy that night.”

Please note that I never specified which night or even what movie I was planning on taking her to.  Nope.  I realized that her answer wasn’t just a no, it was a “No, and don’t ever bother me again.”

So, I didn’t – I don’t think I said another sentence to that girl for the next four years.  I wasn’t butthurt, we just only had one or two classes together, and the only thing we had in common were my eyes and her torso.

Teenage John’s operating system diagram.  All details included.

However, I still recall with some epicaricacy the last time I saw her as she emerged, crying, from the guidance counselor’s office.  Seems like someone had beaten her overall GPA and that speech she’d been planning to give at graduation would have to come from . . . me.

If only she had distracted me at a movie.  Oh, well.

Although I did get shot down in flames on that phone call, it really didn’t bother me.  Freshman me understood what older me sometimes forgets:  give it your best shot, and what happens, happens.  In many cases, you can do the impossible.

I had a boss who taught me that.  On a regular basis, he’d ask me to do something that either in a business or technical sense exceeded what I thought could be done.  “Wilder, go and figure out how we can do IMPOSSIBLE TASK A.”

Freed from the idea of failure, since I already thought it was impossible, I went out and, 9 times out of 10, actually did things I would have thought were ludicrous goals.  Yes, I wanted to win, but when I was put in an impossible place that actually simplified the task at hand because I no longer feared failing.

I always eat sausage on February 2^nd, after all, it’s ground hog day.

This boss regularly did that, and 9 out of 10 times, he’d succeed.  Now, one of the failures got him fired, but his severance package was $2,000,000, (several decades ago) so I didn’t spend a lot of time crying for him.

Outcome independence worked pretty well for him, too.

If I were to look at this from the perspective of how (and why!) I need to keep outcome independence in my mind, I’d toss these reasons out:

1. I’m not afraid of failure. Failure happens, but if I never fail, that means I’m always operating within my limits.  Only when I try to exceed them do I get better.  Never failing means never improving.
2. It focuses me on the things I can truly control. I really believe I’m a very, very lucky guy, but that luck isn’t something that I can impact, despite the several superstitious things that I do.
3. Focusing on success only in some cases requires external validation of that success. I know when I’ve done a good job, but if I have to wait for others to acknowledge it, well, that’s nearly the same as depending on luck.
4. Ever see a guy win a gold medal, and then just fall apart? And a guy who lost be content he was just there?  Either the winner was exhausted or he no longer had a goal.  Regardless, focusing only on the outcome can lead to a road where victory becomes defeat.

It was easy to write those four points – because I’ve found myself heading down each of those paths at various points in my life.  Now that I’m a bit more seasoned, when I find myself getting wrapped up in the outcome, I step back and try to get rid of the mindset that has crept back up on me.

I bought some Himalayan salt that the label said was over 250 million years old.  The label says it expires in June of 2025.

Partially, I have to admit defeat over the things I simply cannot control.  I have to revert to the “whatever happens, happens” mindset.  If I lose, what can I change?  If I lose, does that make me a loser?  No.  I lost so I have learned.  Now, if it was something stupid like playing chicken with a Hellfire® missile, well, I might only have milliseconds to contemplate my learnings, but like Thucydides (say that six times fast) said, luck favors the daring.

Maybe that’s why I was so lucky?  Or maybe I was too stupid to know when to quit.

Ultimately, I have to be okay with being me.  And I have to be okay playing the game where the stakes are high enough that winning is important, but keeping it about being the best I can be, and understanding that sometimes I’ll lose.

He also said I needed a federal aid.  Or maybe it was a utility grade.  Had trouble hearing him.

When I lose, though, I lose knowing I’ve given it everything I’ve got, and go down fighting.

And the next day?  Learn, and start again.

I know one outcome:  nobody gets out alive.  Guess I might as well make the best use of the heartbeats I have left.