The Funniest Post You’ll Read Today About Ukraine And Impending Global War

“Now me, I’m overweight. My underwear has to be made specially at a factory in the Ukraine. They call me Daddy Round-Round. They send me a postcard every year.” – The Simpsons

Looks like the Democrats are changing focus!  Haven’t they heard about the huge rolling ball that is the economy?

I had three posts planned that would couple the main themes I write about, and they were planned to start today.  Meh.  It’s okay, I can write about that topic anytime, and I have the feeling that what most people want to talk about is Russia.  This will be shorter than most, because I have a collection of dank memes that will carry most of the narrative.  I’ve tweaked one or two, but most are “as found” on the ‘net.

In Soviet Russia, Internet brings cat to you!

I will admit to being wrong about the invasion – I thought that Putin would get what he wanted without using actual force.  Of course, being Russian, they typically use a chain, a tractor from Soviet Tractor Factory Collective No. 348, and an acetylene torch for wart removal, so I should have known.  Subtle is not in the typical playbook.  Some say the Russians play chess, but if they do, they use a shotgun.

Hello . . . Vindman.

I have some very strong feelings about the Russian invasion of Ukraine.  I don’t care.  It’s not that I like the idea of a sovereign nation invading another one, but let’s face it:  these are two countries that both use wrapping paper for money and have languages that sound like someone is strangling a duck.  And?  We have zero national interests in Ukraine.

Silly old bear.  Everyone knows that, just like Piglet said, whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

I mean, unless Hunter is still taking tons of cash from them.  That would certainly be a casus belli.  Or a reason to scratch Putin’s belly.  Wait, I just channeled Joe Biden.  Who knew pants could be so wet, sticky, warm and uncomfortable?

If we don’t do something, Mexico might invade.  Oh, wait . . . .

I am not alone in not caring.  I saw an AP® poll that indicated only 26% of folks in the United States thought we should play a major role in the conflict.  About half thought we should have an uncredited walk-on cameo, and the rest just wanted to be left alone to polish their ARs in private.

I just wanted to add some things to my shirt.  Arts and crafts, really.

It’s the 26% that I find intriguing:  this 26% is mainly, but not all, Leftists.  I have no particular idea why Leftists hate Russia so much, but they really, really do.  I think it goes back to the 2016 election, where they think that Russia tipped the election for Trump.  It certainly had nothing to do with Hillary being as electable as the hind-end of a roadkill skunk.

I sure will be happy when they manage to un-Super Glue® his hands so he doesn’t have to sit like that.  I think Trump left all those bottles of glue around the White House as a prank.

So, here are the dank memes that describe the week.  They create their own narrative, sort of, but I’ll add in a word or two myself.

The First Rule of Leftism is You Don’t Deviate From The Narrative:

The Second Rule of Leftism is You Don’t Deviate From The Narrative:

The Leftists (and a Neocon) were out in force, setting up the New Narrative and letting you know exactly what they think about you:

Of course, I didn’t create this retort, but I thought it fit pretty well here:

An actual, frightening comment from a committed Lefty who knows the “Adults in Washington”:

And political opponents chimed in:

Then the even more schizoid side of the Left just had to chime in, letting us know what the real and important issues are:

And, when it’s time for lies, you know that the media will be there:

Of course, the US Armed Forces were there for a show of strength:

But of course, there is a war on, so sometimes navigational errors happen:

And India definitely wants in, sending their passenger jet alone into the no-fly war zone:

Leftists wonder why the Right isn’t on board:

Someone figured out that combat bridges are a thing and that Sam Hyde was with the Russians:

So, if this blows over, maybe I’ll just watch a movie this weekend:

Author: John

Nobel-Prize Winning, MacArthur Genius Grant Near Recipient writing to you regularly about Fitness, Wealth, and Wisdom - How to be happy and how to be healthy. Oh, and rich.

39 thoughts on “The Funniest Post You’ll Read Today About Ukraine And Impending Global War”

  1. The Left is hating on Russia since the collapse of the Communist Soviet Empire, as the new government is decidedly non-communist, openly nationalist and helping in the restoration of the Russian Orthodox Church.

    You do notice that there is no similar ginned up 2 minute hate from the Left and their presstitute lackeys directed against Communist China or any other Communist ruled country? That’s not an accident, comrade.

  2. “…Women and children are in bunkers…”

    Reminds me of the great sarcastic NYT Headline that (sadly) never was – “World to end tomorrow! Women & children to suffer most…”

    2. Indeed. If what I’m watching is correct, sounds like it’s getting (even) spicier over there. Of course, minorities will be most impacted.

  3. The best one is the Jonah Goldberg quote. “Tell me you don’t understand nationalism without telling me you don’t understand nationalism”. I just looked and he wrote a lengthy twitter screed responding to everyone mocking him. The whole thread is hilarious.

  5. I’m glad I was sitting on the can reading this
    I laughed so hard I’d messed my britches

  6. That headline is a bold claim, Mr Wilder, considering CNN and MSNBC will pumping out headlines all day today. I did laugh several times while reading this though.

    1. Well, I have to set a bar for myself . . . but CNN, boy, their fiction section can really put out some doozies!

  8. We need a ceiling cat for Vladkraine or a good Hitler rant about the 404 Ukraine.
    Do they call it the 404 because your average drooling wannabe commie couldn’t find it if Google maps pointed it for them on their sailfawn?
    Uncanny! Just read about comrade kommissar Alexander “Flounder” Vindmann blaming the J6 horny Viking coup putsch insurrection for the stain in the Kraine.
    Some lefty music blogs have went full Mockingbird enemedia Kool-Aid drunk and needed a good free downloads and STFU.
    The distraction Gatling is just getting warmed up so don’t you go changin’ as the times are and fourth world shithole status for the FUSA is part of the Great Reset Leap Forward.

  9. Above, I said I stand with Tulsi – this war is totally about the US / NATO not respecting Russia’s legitimate security concerns. Historically, the US has recognized this realpolitik and so kept the peace. Not anymore.

    It worked for Austria in 1955…

    https://2001-2009.state.gov/r/pa/ho/time/lw/107185.htm

    It was supposed to work for Russia in 1990…

    https://nsarchive.gwu.edu/briefing-book/russia-programs/2017-12-12/nato-expansion-what-gorbachev-heard-western-leaders-early

    It was supposed to work for Ukraine in 1994. At the time, they were the third largest nuclear power in the world after the US and Russia – the Soviet SS-18 missile fields were located in Ukraine. Ukraine agreed to give up all its nukes. Both the US and the UK promised to protect Ukraine from a Russian invasion if they did so and became a non-nuclear state. Betcha they wish now they’d kept a nuke or two…

    https://treaties.un.org/doc/Publication/UNTS/Volume%203007/Part/volume-3007-I-52241.pdf

    For God’s sake, even OBAMA knew it was / is folly to try and push the US / NATO military right up to the Russian national border…

    https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/04/the-obama-doctrine/471525/

    I blame W for the current mess. Four months before he held the ribbon-cutting ceremony for Disneyland Baghdad, W took advantage of Russian weakness to kick off NATO expansion into former Soviet republics and declared the long night of fear to be over.

    https://www.rferl.org/a/1101471.html

    Like so much else, W and the neocons were dead wrong and the long night of fear has just begun. Their gamble they could push Russia around and subjugate it before it recovered from the Soviet collapse has gone bust. Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it, as we are doing now. Welcome back to 1962 and the Cuban Missile Crisis, as seen Through The Looking Glass.

    https://twitter.com/intel_radar24/status/1497237288727814149

  10. The Diabolical PutinHitlerSatan never called me deplorable or opened the gates for Fundamental Transformation back in 1965.
    Was he behind the Big Steal or the fake and gay Chiquitastan?
    Maybe he is Rasputin and in league with Krönen.
    External enemies take advantage of all weaknesses and clueless faculty lounge leaders?
    These things happen.

      1. The only ones I grok are the Ukrainians. They hate the Russians and for good reason.

        Everyone else seems to have undergone spontaneous Gel-Mann Amnesia with respect to the people responsible for the covidiocy and their useful idiots, enablers and stooges.

        “But they wouldn’t do that Ukraine/Russia/Zhe/Putin-!”

        Sad.

  11. Note to those newfound lovers of Ukraine-you can find a way to get over there and save them while your own homeland burns down.
    It’s too late to save the Pentagram bioweapon labs but the CPUSA will be happy if you could save their money laundering pedo and sex slave trafficking operations.
    Hunter wants those Burisma checks because rock habits are money vacuums.
    Don’t just talk about it get on over there like some hero in a Greek fable.
    Too old? Lie about your age
    No pink hair and SpongeBob tattoos? You can find a way.

  12. I’m amazed at the number of people who’re taking all the propaganda at face value. Everything from the ghost of Kiev to photos of politicians in uniform to the Russia stronk crowd.
    Similarly amazed at the number of people who appear to think that modern Russia is the soviet union, and the USA has had no part in setting up this mess.

  13. 1) i don’t think there is any reason that all the people so hot to go to war with russia for the ukraine can’t do so. in fact; i hear zelensky is handing out free aks.
    2) i’m sure everyone has noticed (but i’m gonna say it anyway) that none of these folks are too worried about the invasion that’s happening in THIS country. THAT’S the one that grinds my gears.

  14. “Do not think I came to bring peace to the earth; I came to bring, not peace, but a sword. For I came to cause division, with a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. Indeed, a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.”

    Matthew 10:34

  15. False Dilemma Fallacy.
    B.S. flag thrown.
    -20 yards, and loss of possession.

    By an amazing coincidence, most people are well able to despise Putin and still pay attention to what’s going on in this country.
    The phrase for that incredibly rare skill of holding two thoughts in one’s head at once is called “average intelligence”.

    1. And after further review . . . I really don’t have to take sides in the fight between two rival drug cartels, so I’ll skip this one, too.

      I actually have given this a lot of thought. I’ve weighed the idea that Putin could have stopped the invasion at any time. So could have Biden. So could have Zelensky.

      Are all equally culpable? No. Are all of them despicable? Yes.

  16. We as a nation have zero interest in Ukraine, but the Biden family and a lot of Hedge funds do.

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