The Internet Is Crappier. On Purpose.

“It’s Dr. Seuss’s birthday.  Google™, even though you’ve enslaved half the world, you’re still a damn fine search engine.” – The Simpsons

I’ve had millions of hits, but none of them from Best Korea.

Today I had to spend an hour searching for PEZ® dispensers honoring the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial.  Amazingly, despite the time I spent looking, no one that I could find has made a PEZ™ dispenser to honor this historic moment.  To me, it was amazing that Amber’s lawyers worked so long and hard to prove that Depp was utterly innocent.

Google™ used to be better.  I remember it wasn’t a little better, it was a lot better than it is today.

To be fair, I’ve mainly stopped using Google© as my search engine of choice.  Besides being horrible, unethical, demonic, GloboLeftistElite shills, they also have futzed with their algorithm so much that when I do a search for common phrases that are pretty unique to my site, I don’t show up on the first two pages.

Go figure.  I mean, horrible, unethical, demonic, GloboLeftistElite?  I might be able to deal with that.  But kill my search results?

They’re dead to me.

The FBI recently announced that Hillary Clinton’s laundry did itself.

Search had long been skewed by Google®, but the autistic programmers that originally put it all together really took that “Don’t Be Evil©” original mission statement to heart.  They wanted to create great search results.  They even went as far as to make sure there was a firewall between their search people and their ad people so that search was preserved.

Oh, sure, they put their thumb down as hard as they could to get Hillary selected in 2016.  Heck, one researcher thought that over 3,000,000 votes were impacted by their search results, alone.  Hmmm, Donald Trump is put on trial for forking over $130,000 to a tramp via a shady lawyer (yeah, he has horrible taste in people) but Google™ subverts their entire search platform in favor of a candidate?

No crime here.  Move along, citizen.

Regardless, the search engine was still pretty good.  As the newfound desire of the GloboLeftElite to clamp down on speech, starting about 2017, Google™ seemed to shy away from that.  Again, the search results in 2017 were pretty good.

If Elon Musk really does send thousands of people to Mars, he’s either a genius or the most creative serial killer of all time.

But around 2019, the ad executives at Google™ decided that, perhaps, the search results were too good.  You can read an article about that here (LINK).

The problem was that if the search engine were too good, that meant fewer searches.  Fewer searches meant fewer ads.  Fewer ads meant less money.  The paradox was, the better Google™ got at search, the less money they made from ads.

The result was the same as at most businesses when money meets principles:  money wins.  Google™ searches were “encrapulated” so that they were crappier.  More irrelevant sites should show up in a search.  Oh, and the ads?  They weren’t getting enough clicks.  Solution?  Make it less visible that they’re ads – make them look like legitimate search results.

But I did not know that the IRS now accepts Apple® gift cards!

Indian scammers *love* this, since now they can buy an ad, redirect people to their scam website, and get the scam going.

In a recent example, I did a search for a fairly unusual phrase, put quotes around it, and hit “go”.  My quotation marks around the exact phrase I was looking for were utterly ignored.  The results were . . . entirely encrapulated.

I finally remembered where the quote came from, a website that was now dark, but that someone had resurrected it elsewhere.  Boom, there it was, the exact phrase (it was an article title) and I was in business.  Google™, however, had ignored my “quotation marks” and my

-ignore

-results

-with

-these

-words and instead gave me a mishmash of crap that still included the trash I tried to weed out.

Now major search engines (Google©, Bing®, DuckDuckGo™) are giving only answers from the mainstream media, especially with certain topics – politics being one of them.  The beauty of the Internet, circa 2005, is that the mainstream media hadn’t figured it out, so great content with dissenting voices was given a huge platform.

If NPR™ started a metal band, would it be called, “All Things Dismembered”?

Remember when Google™ used to say, “About 1,242,400 matches”?  That’s gone.  Google™ has stopped showing the number of pages, no doubt after people figured out that only about 225 results are ever shown.

Of course, NBCNESPNPR© has a lot of money riding on being able to provide curated news to you for fun, profit, and control – so search engines censoring any idea that is contrary to The Message is their goal.  The major search engines seem to be on board with this.

This is also a major reason that comments are now dead on many websites, because giving the people who read the encrapified news are often embarrassed by that pesky Truth.  Why allow comments at CNN™, when someone can come and make The Message look silly with just a few words?

Pressure has been specifically put on several sites, including Unz™, where unregulated commentors have caused Big Search to blacklist them killing their traffic from search. Oops, BIPOClist them.  In the case of Zero Hedge™ (and The Federalist™), Google Ads™ were cancelled until they controlled their comments.

Yandex.com is better in many regards to Google©, even though it is Russian owned.  When I did a search on Google™ for “Civil War Weather Report” – I was buried so deep that I missed it as I went by – over thirty items in front of my pages, which have nearly that exact title.  On Yandex®?  I’m SEVEN of the top ten results, like I used to be back before 2020, when the big political censorship bug hit all of the major search engines.

What’s the difference between bigfoot and Amber Heard?  Johnny Depp never found bigfoot’s poop in his bed.

I guess that if I use Yandex© from time to time, well, then the FSB as well as the NSA will know that I’m searching for Amber Heard PEZ© dispensers.  I couldn’t find a set with Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, but I did find one set consisting of Jesus, Amber Heard, and Donald Trump’s ex-lawyer, Micheal Cohen?  I guess they were in a set because they all got nailed on the cross.

Well, to be fair, two of them were nailed on the cross-examination . . . .

Author: John

Nobel-Prize Winning, MacArthur Genius Grant Near Recipient writing to you regularly about Fitness, Wealth, and Wisdom - How to be happy and how to be healthy. Oh, and rich.

50 thoughts on “The Internet Is Crappier. On Purpose.”

  1. i write a comment here,
    and it never shows up on the web site…
    and i don’t even praise you for the PEZ searches.

  2. okay.. so what IS your mostly-go-to search engine/internet miner… ? 🙂

    1. I’m curious as to what search engines other find useful as well I used DuckDuckGo for a while but quit after they sold out. Mostly use Brave’s search engine (ok not great ) and sometimes either Startpage or SwissCows for a response. They are all better than Google, but I still feel like they are lagging relative to search engines in the past.

      Any that folks prefer and have had good luck with lately?

      1. As John said, the russkies have yandex, so no passive-aggressive progfrog censorship — but also some strange russkie results. Hey it’s their engine.

    2. It depends. Often, I’ll use three or more to get where I’m going. In one search recently (today), I used, Brave, then DuckDuckGo, then ChatGPT, and finally found it on Yandex.

  3. I just tried searching for “civil war weather report” in Google and your site was the first result

    1. Just ran a test.

      Using Chrome and Google, I got a big blue warning icon and “The results below match your search terms, but some of them may not have reliable information on this topic. Learn more
      Check the source
      Are they trusted on this topic?
      Try new search terms?

      Less specific words might get better results”

      “Better” Heh.

      WWW were the next two results. Followed by The Civil War Roundtable, archive today

      On Quant, I got a lot of hits for the U.S. Civil war and meteorological data. I’ve bookmarked one to read later (Battlefields.org) About 8 down is WWW. This reminds me of OG Google when every search was an adventure.

      Bing: Also more civil war pages, with WWW half way down the 2nd page. WWW covers nearly all of 2-4 but although the search shows 7 pages of results, after page 5 you get a dead page maker “no such results”. Nice Microsoft: Same exact skeeve as Google, but 5 years later.

      For the record, Brave w/google gave the same results as Chrome w/Google.

      So there you go.

    2. Double checked – on mine, not on the first page. I do know that they deliver different results to different people – they’ve been doing that since (at least) ’06 when I did the same search at work and at home and got completely different results.

  4. Ultimately all of this is because you are the product and everything is aimed at getting you to read what they want and shop where they want.

  5. I can find you every time, if I type “PEZ” before your name. I think you should be paid for your endorsement.

      1. you should have your own commemorative PEZ dispenser in your likeness given all that you’ve done for the brand.

  6. Wow. That is not just just planned obsolescence. It’s baked right into the search engine cake.

    But it gives me an idea. I’ll bet my employer (Warlabs, Inc.) would appreciate it if I rejiggered our fire control guidance software to miss the target for the first couple of salvos in order to sell more “smart” bombs. They always encourage ‘thinking outside the box’ while simultaneously increasing shareholder value. Corner office, here I come!

    1. That’s small-time compared to Pfizer, you need some way for individuals to pay you for errantly bombing their homes and killing their relatives.

    2. Seriously, you think that hasn’t happened? Remember the Wall Street dude said, “There isn’t really a profit upside to a cure for cancer.”

      And bombs are for making, not shooting.

  7. I had luck with DDG and Bing when I put the 2.0 in. Another engine that’s fairly good is Qwant. Also needed the 2.0 to avoid discussions of how the weather affected CW 1.0. They had an absurd ban on ad blockers, but got a bit more reasonable. At first, they wanted adblocking turned off on the entire browser, but now, I can block it for everything but Qwant, and it’s OK.

    With respect to Dana Scully, this song came to mind:

  9. “The problem was that if the search engine were too good, that meant fewer searches. Fewer searches meant fewer ads. Fewer ads meant less money. The paradox was, the better Google™ got at search, the less money they made from ads.”

    I think Google learned this trick from politicians who long ago learned there’s no money in solving problems.

  10. I have the Amber Pez dispenser, trade you for a Bibi Netanyahu

  12. Youtube is based upon ad revenue. Free adblockers work on youtube, such that only tech illiterate boomers should ever see an ad on youtube. So… how is youtube profitable since virtually no one actually sees their ads?

  13. I have had okay luck with Brave. At least they pay me for the advertisements.

    I used Duck Duck Go for several years until they effectively became like Google or Bing, at which point there was no point.

  16. Gluggle has been shadow-banning my ‘black whole’ websites for years. Can’t recall when the nasty little sprites started, mebbe around 2016. WordPress also indicted. The dill does.

    Search for exact title phrase, no results for my pages. On Yandex presto and no problemo.

    Evil Soviet Empire becomes New Amerikan Soviet. But our KGB is chickified! (see below).

    P.S. cannot understand why your PEZ dispensers don’t show. Agree it’s personal and a conspiracy. Pls. consider acquiring dogs or a bodyguard.

    By now the market should have produced a line of Amber Heard Dispensers, that being her squatted plastic imago with those tasty, tangy and fruity PEZ pellets emerging from her . . . well think ‘rabbits’ and you’re there.

    On censorship of net and in general, this is outstanding and timely:

    https://elizabethnickson.substack.com/p/a-global-censorship-prison-built

    1. I second the reference to Elizabeth Nickersons’ Substack. Well written, good observation and generally accurate analysis of the crap as it falls on us.
      John in Indy

      1. Thanks for the backup.

        That article deserves wide distribution and I am doing what I can. Most U.S. men are ignorant of these facts. It’s and unusually sophisticated canvass of the construction, and present state, of the entrenching gyno-gulag. That’d be the gyno-gulag I’ve been yammering about for two decades on my sites.

        I just found this author Nickerson and I have been investigating further, as time allows. Her other material on the machinations of evil looks good also, much deeper than the standard political analysis can go.

        But this piece on the flexing gulag of the Monstrous Regiment of Women is exceptional in summarizing New Amerika’s desire and efforts to inflict silence — and much worse — on those of us who resist their smiling tyranny.

    2. Excellent article. Whodathunk the Russians would have a more accurate search engine than the Russian that founded Google?

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