Category: Bad Smells

Gresham’s Law, Bad Money, And Trillion Dollar Coins

“The money in your account. It didn’t do too well, it’s gone.” – South Park

You can always tell if a coin is fresh:  it smells like the mint.

As I’ve mentioned before, Pa Wilder was a banker.  There are certain advantages to being a banker, and back in the late 1970s, he took advantage of one of them.  It’s nice that being a banker has some advantages, because so many of them are loaners.

What Pa did was go through the change that came into the bank drawers.  Pa would then take a quarter and replace it with another quarter.  Okay, that just makes him sound crazy.  Isn’t one 25₵ piece just like another?

Well, no, not in the 1970s.

In this case, Pa was taking a 90% silver quarter and replacing it with a 0% silver quarter.  Prior to 1965, dimes, quarters, half-dollars, and dollar coins had been made from 90% silver.  Eventually after details, blah, blah, (this isn’t a coin collecting blog) the value of silver in the coins went to zero.  It’s virtually certain that all of the coins you receive as change in 2021 are of the 0% silver variety.

Why?  Well, people like Pa.

Pa had the coin flow for an entire small farm bank, so he could pick and choose.  He replaced 90% silver quarters with 0% silver quarters.  On the balance sheet, there was no change, so he wasn’t stealing from the bank.  The bank had a quarter, and then after Pa swapped it out, the bank still had a quarter.

It wasn’t the same quarter, mind you, but the cost to the bank was zero.  If you’re looking for a perfect heist, this is it.

Pa walked away with hundreds of dollars in 90% silver quarters, all just by leafing through someone else’s drawers.

I saw a werewolf at work.  Or maybe it was a hairy guy.  Regardless, the silver bullets worked.

We’ve had some discussions where I’ve referred to our current money system (fiatbux?) as money.  More than one person in the comments has said, “No, that’s not money.”

Well, it is.  I can take a $100 bill and go and buy some beer and cigars and PEZ®.  I could also do that with a gun, but the fact that everyone will go along with the deal means that the dollar really is money.

But it isn’t good money.  I’d gladly swap out that $100 fiatbux for $100 in 1965 silver quarters.  The $100 in 1965 silver quarters (checks Internet) could be bought on the open market for $2100 or so.  That shows that the silver coins are 21 times better money than our current fiatbux.

This little story is an example of Gresham’s Law.  Sir Thomas Gresham is an old, dead English dude who made massive amounts of money back when the style of the day was to wear fluffy black pancakes on your head while hoping that Queen Elizabeth didn’t have a bad day and order your execution because (spins wheel) “she was not amused and really wanted pudding for dessert.”

Okay, it’s really Sir Thomas Gresham on the left, and George R.R. Martin on the right.  Notice I didn’t say write, because I don’t think George remembers how to do that.

Stated simply, Gresham’s Law is:  “Bad money drives out good.”  In my example, the bad money was the 0% silver quarters, the good money was the 90% silver quarters.

Why would I take bad money when I could get good money?

You wouldn’t.  No one does.

During the Zimbabwe hyperinflation, people would take United States dollars as payment, but they’d give you never-ending stacks of Zimbabwe cash as change.  The bad money (Zimbabwebux) was driving out the good.  The dollar, though not “good money” was still better than the wrapping paper that the Zimbabweans scrawled zeros across like an eight-year-old with a pen.

The brain is the most important organ in the body.  According to the brain.

Why is that important?  Because in 2021, the government of the United States has fully embraced the Zimbabwean concept of “we’ll just print more money.”  The reasoning is simple:  if a football game can’t run out of points, well, why could a government run out of money?  We can just print more.

That’s the sign that the Left half of the bell curve has finally taken the reins of power.  The short-bus pity graduates have decided that the phrase “we don’t have enough money” will cease to be an impediment to their wishes.

This year we’ll spend more money than ever in the history of our country.  It’s bad.  How bad?  In order to avoid a debt default because the Democrats are insisting that they have Republican assistance since they don’t want to go solo.  The Republicans are resisting spending money because that’s what they pretend to do whenever a Republican isn’t president.

I went to an Irish mechanic the other day.  He couldn’t fix my engine, but he could blow up my tires.

The current idea of the Washington set is to make a coin that says “one trillion dollars” on it and deposit it with the treasury.  I’m not making this up.  This is their actual plan.

This is the plan of people who are not serious.  They’re looking for pretend loopholes to evade the law.  The bright side is that they are at least pretending that the law exists.  Regardless, the goal is to take a chunk of metal, write $1,000,000,000,000 on the side, and keep the spending party going.

Woo!  More sangria!

The one thing that is sacrosanct in the world of 2021 is this:  thou shalt keep thy government debt whole and multiply it.

Strangely, this is exactly (really, exactly) the same thinking that the leader of Zimbabwe had:  “Dude, we have more paper, so we can totally print more money.”  We laughed when Zimbabwe printed trillion-dollar notes.  People in the government of the United States are ready and willing to create a trillion-dollar coin.

At least this one is (according to the news) platinum.

If this keeps up, JCPenny® will have to change its name to JCTrillion©.  And the smell?  It’s nearly certain the coin didn’t poop its pants.

The excuse to pull the silver out of money was that “it is costing too much money” to make the coins.  A quarter (last article I read) now costs over 12₵ to make – but that article was nearly a decade old.  Given inflation, I’d bet that it costs nearly 20₵ to make 25₵, and probably costs at least 3₵ to make a penny.

Looks like over time, the value of bad money begins to match what it cost to make.  Beware:  it only costs about 14₵ to make a $100 note.  That trillion-dollar coin?  It will probably cost $1000 or so to make.

Wonder what Pa Wilder would have done if he would have stumbled across a trillion-dollar coin in the bank’s drawers?

Probably, he would have thought it was a fake.

Which, of course, it is.  I guess the government is going through our drawers, driving out good money with bad.

Now Is When We Need Heroes. And Secondhand Lions.

“Well, a man’s body may grow old, but inside, his spirit can still be as young and restless as ever. And him? In his day he had more spirit than twenty men.” – Secondhand Lions

In England, they don’t have a kidney bank. But they do have a Liverpool.

What is life?

It’s the sum of your experiences. One experience I sadly missed until this week was the movie Secondhand Lions.

It came out in 2003, and I’d missed it until this week. Amazon® seemed to think I needed to see it, and with a movie starring Robert Duvall and Michael Frigging Caine? Well, how could I turn that down?

It’s about a boy named Walter. Walter is a boy who was dropped off by his mother with his crazy uncles who believe that life is an adventure and don’t take crap from, well, anyone.

This particular movie hit home.

I’ll explain, and this will clear up at least some of the mystery regarding my origin story. (Hint: in the end I make a mechanical suit to escape from the clutches of terrorists and found a multinational empire based on funny stories written from the Right.)

It’s funny because he’s a liar.

Despite what you might believe, I didn’t spring fully grown from the loins of some Olympian goddess who had nice, um, bazoongas and was married to Zeus. No, my origin was much more The World According to Garp.

My biological mother decided she really, really liked a guy when she was in college. Why did she like him? Because she thought he had an amazing way with words and was the smartest guy she’d ever met. What was a 23-year-old divorcee to do?

Lure an 18-year old into bed.

Can you get a woman in a “family way” the first time out? Well, I’m certainly not the product of virginity, but I am the product of virginity cunningly snared from a poor 18-year-old boy by a 23-year-old woman who wanted to have his baby.

Yup. Me.

But I can say that I was born a virgin.

You can see that her decision-making was both amazing (I exist) and utterly flawed. I am the result of a genetic experiment conducted by a woman who just decided to have a kid. No plan. Just wanted a kid.

Me.

Surprisingly, that’s not a long-term plan that has success written on it. In that time and era, her parents sent her away to have a child far away to avoid the family shame of an unwed mother. So, I was born.

Ta-da!

About four years later, however, the world decided that perhaps a woman of such skill and foresight might not be able to raise a child with the cunning and sophistication of your author. The court decided I should be tossed out for adoption.

A nice family was set to adopt me. They were worth (at that time) millions. They wanted a wonderful blonde baby boy, and I was the one. The papers were set. I was going to be the heir to thousands of acres of prime land.

Then Ma and Pa Wilder stepped in. They were my biological mother’s parents (sort of – that’s an even longer story that involves a world war, horses, and a Mormon polygamy cult in Mexico, and I’m not exaggerating or making up any of those things, either). I’d throw in aliens, but I have no proof of that.

I am exceedingly improbable.

So Ma and Pa Wilder got a lawyer and stopped the adoption to those millionaire folks. I’m good with that. They later found an inferior version to adopt. Why inferior?

I have to admit I slept with my third cousin. My friend told me to stop counting them.

Well, that’s an even longer story, but here is the Cliff Notes® version: I was a senior on the varsity wrestling in high school, and one week the coach sent me to wrestle with the JV against a school for a duel. Why? There was a state champion at my weight, even though his school had only AA while mine had AAA. I beat him, soundly.

Yup. It was the guy who got adopted by the childless millionaires instead of me.

No, his name wasn’t John.

But my adoptive brother (who was my uncle) was also named John. And, so it’s true. My brother’s name is . . . John Wilder. And, he’s older, so he owned it first. But he went by his middle name, so, it all worked out.

Sharks never eat clownfish. They taste funny.

To me, though, Secondhand Lions was a wonderful story to view my own life. The power of myth is important. Also from the movie:

Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good. That honor, courage and virtue mean everything. That power and money, money and power mean nothing. That good always triumphs over evil. And I want you to remember this: that love, true love never dies. Remember that boy, remember that. Doesn’t matter if it is true or not, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing. Got that?

If there were words a man should believe outside of religion, here they are.

And it doesn’t matter if these things are true. Because they are worth believing. We live not for today, but to have the spirit of lions, to conduct amazing adventures out of improbable lives.

We need to fight battles against overwhelming odds. We need to save the lives of others, countlessly. We should avoid the tame, and embrace the outrageous.

We should be big damn heroes.

We should share our adventures and inspire others to follow us.

Why else is life worth living?

I’ve shared a lot this post that I never had before. I owe so many for who and what I am. I want to help create a world where this adventure never ceases. Where men live and create. Where fortunes are won and lost, where the individuality of man is celebrated, and where improbable men can exist.

Thor never gets drunk, but he sometimes gets hammered.

I’m improbable because my life was helped by those that took me in when they had no reason to. They taught me that honor, virtue and courage mean everything, and that money and power mean nothing. They taught me that heroes exist. That’s who I am. They taught me that these things never die. Again, from the movie:

I’m Hub McCann, I fought in two world wars and countless smaller ones on three continents. I led thousands of men into battle with everything from horses and swords to artillery and tanks. I’ve seen the headwaters of the Nile, and tribes of natives no white man had ever seen before. I’ve won and lost a dozen fortunes, killed many men, and loved only one woman, with a passion a flea like you could never begin to understand.

We need heroes. We need to be heroes.

We need to believe things that are worth believing.

Why?

The world needs it. The world needs us.

The world needs you.

Let us go forth now, and create the world where heroes exist. Let us create a world worthy of such heroes.

It won’t do it by itself.

I do believe this world will exist, because of people just like you and me.

No matter how old you are, or where you are, the adventure is just beginning.

Go on. It’s never too late.

Ever.

The Jab: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

“And he wasn’t alone. He had close to a thousand followers when he died. They conducted rituals up on the roof, bizarre rituals intended to bring about the end of the world. And now it looks like it may actually happen.” – Ghostbusters

I guess that makes my wife Mrs. Doubtpfizer.

Disclaimer: Humor writer, not a doctor. But I’m a humor writer that likes to look at the worst-case scenarios because someone has to know that “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” don’t always mean the same thing, especially at a funeral.

One of the more disturbing things about the trajectory of the panic-response-panic model that we’ve seen in the last year about the ‘Rona has been the nearly complete abandonment of the idea of impartial science. Oh, sure, we knew that scientists could be bought, and in most cases, they’re cheaper than congressmen. Scientists can be bought for a shrimp cocktail. To buy a congressman, you have to spring for the bacon-wrapped shrimp.

When you look at the data from only eight months ago, the University of Pennsylvania, actual scientists that were presumably not under the influence of shrimp came to this conclusion (LINK):

Pay attention to the phrase, “No large trials of any (emphasis added) mRNA vaccine have been completed yet.”

Any.

This is a first attempt at ever using this technology, and the decision was made that, “Hey, sounds good, let’s do it. What could go wrong?”

This sounds suspiciously like the reasoning I used with my first marriage, so, on its face, this is the same logic used by amorous 20-year-olds. I wonder: were they playing beer pong when they made the decision?

So, what could go wrong?

I’ll start with the least scary and move to the scariest ones. To be fair, the least scary are the impacts that are the most likely, and in some cases, they are certainly happy. Data, however, is murky. Congress voted to keep the report on the origin of the virus classified, so I’m not holding my breath that any information counter to the official narrative will be seeing daylight anytime soon.

Heart Attacks In Healthy Young People – As far as I can tell, this is 100% confirmed. How often is it happening? Difficult to say. This is, however, often enough that I think it is clear that with the death rate from COVID for young, healthy people is lower than the risk that they have of driving to school.

How low?

If you have been documented to have COVID, the death rate is in the range of 1 out of 100,000. Since it’s my theory that between one-half and two-thirds of ‘Rona infections in kids aren’t ever officially reported, that rate is probably closer to (conservatively) 1 out of 300,000. Translation: rub some dirt on it, you’re fine.

How frequent are the heart attacks induced by the jab? Don’t know. And with data and reporting being what they are today, we might not know for a decade, if ever.

That’s okay. No pharmaceutical company has any liability, so you don’t have to worry about the CEO losing his bonus.

I hear that Mountain Dew® is coming out with a new flavor for heart attack victims: Code Blue®.

You know it’s going to be a grim list when Widespread Sterility is the second-best case scenario. This one is still speculative, and there’s evidence for it. I’m stunned, really, that pregnant women were encouraged to get the “jab”, because when The Mrs. was preggers I was pretty sure the doctor wasn’t convinced that eating one Cheeto® a month was safe for pregnant women.

But here we are. I haven’t heard of a lack of babies being born, though I’ve heard of more than one post-jab miscarriage. Again I ask the question: why would young, healthy people be taking this, especially after (again, anecdotal) evidence that the spike protein seems to concentrate in the reproductive bits?

Breakthrough and Jabbed Becoming Superspreading Virus Factories is happening right now. This one is, of course, the most ironic. It does (again, at least anecdotally) appear that the death rate due to the ‘Rona is somewhat lower if the person is jabbed. But if it doesn’t stop a person from getting or spreading ‘Rona, all it does is act as a treatment against future cases? Again, the only trial data we’ll ever get from Pfizer™ stated that 14 people with the control died, and 15 people with the Pfizer© science juice died.

Because that’s how you know it’s working.

But apparently I need to get jabbed so the jabbed won’t get the ‘Rona from me even though they can get ‘Rona and are much better at spreading it because they show fewer symptoms? This ranks higher because, more superspreaders? More mutations.

Clotting/COVID Spike Protein Runaway is a scenario that has been seen, well, at least the clotting part. There’s a reason they called the Johnson & Johnson™ jab the #clotshot. According to one panel of doctors (it was on YouTube®, so take it with however many grains of salt you’d like), the spike protein is the problem. Originally it was the solution, because that’s what the mRNA shot did: make a person’s cells produce the spike protein so that the immune system could recognize it.

This doctor’s theory was the protein wanders down through the bloodstream where it damages the blood vessel walls in the capillaries, the smallest section. This causes clotting, and I don’t think it is disputed that this caused several deaths and several amputations because of the clots as directly caused by the jab.

This doctor went further, however. He maintained this clotting would spread since there seems to be ample continual production of the spike protein. His prognosis? Everyone who had the spike protein-inducing shot would die of heart failure in two or three years due to cumulative damage. Everyone who took the shot.

I rate this one as pretty bad – civilization-ending, in fact if there are billions of corpses to deal with in two years. But I also rank this as pretty unlikely.

I hope.

As bad as all of that is, there are three more horror stories waiting. Lucky you!

I don’t think COVID was made in China – we’ve had it 18 months and it’s still working.

The next is Antibody Dependent Enhancement (ADE). The short version is that in this situation (which really happens, though rarely) the candidate vaccine appears to create antibodies that would protect against the disease. Good news!

But not really. In this case, the antibodies actually make it easier for the virus to get into the cell. So, if when you get the virus you were inoculated against in the first place, it will kill you. Yup. In this case, the virus actually makes the disease deadlier. I’m hoping that this wave of the ‘Rona run isn’t ADE showing up.

I don’t think that it is, or I think we would have seen a very significant death wave among the jabbed, one so big it would be difficult to hide.

Marek’s Disease is the next case. A “leaky” vaccine was created for chickens to vaccinate them against Marek’s Disease, which totally sounds like it was named after a Star Trek® character. The chickens could catch the disease, and the vaccine was just good enough to keep them from dying from it.

Good news, right? Well, no. Because the vaccine allowed them to be super-spreaders. The virus kept mutating until it was absolutely fatal to chickens. Now, most chickens have it, and spread it. Unless a baby chick (that’s around other chickens) is vaccinated, it will die. Chickens as we know them are dependent upon having this vaccine.

If the “jabs” we have against COVID are similar, we might see exactly what we’re seeing now: people who were jabbed having the virus and incubating it and spreading it and making it more and more dangerous. Under the worst-case scenario, the virus would mutate into a universally lethal form, and we’d all have to take some future version of the jab.

Or die. As a species.

That would be a big oops. Again, unlikely, but it does meet the patterns we’ve been seeing. But the worst case is the next one.

To get to the other . . . oh, wait . . .

The Spike is a Prion prions are misfolded proteins. A perfect example of this is mad cow disease: a misfolded protein makes it into the brain and causes a chain reaction with other brain proteins. Eventually, when a person catches mad cow disease, a human brain becomes spongier than Joe Biden’s.

The scary part about prions is, even though they aren’t alive, they can spread and replicate in the body like they are alive. So, in this case, the spike protein would eventually cause some horrible jab-zombie end to mankind.

Thankfully, the prion theory looks to be the silliest and least likely scenario. But all of these scenarios, however, are showing up because the information is so very, very bad. I included the clip from the University of Pennsylvania study because it is honest. It shows what we know, and what we don’t know. There isn’t the lingering smell of corruption and shrimp anywhere in the document.

I got kicked out of the zoo for feeding the ducks . . . to the crocodiles. Those crocodiles sure will miss me.

With any luck we won’t see horrible health consequences from the jab. The biggest casualties right now appear to be any lingering trust we had in Big Science, our economy, the concept of private property, any restraint on government edicts whatsoever, and the illusion that we had freedom to begin with.

But, remember – to buy a congressman you need bacon-wrapped shrimp. I mean, they can be bought, but they don’t want you to think they’re cheap.

The Command Economy, Coming Soon To A Nation Near You

“Mr. Sulu, lock phasers on target and await my command.” – Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan

Kim Jong Un and Dominos Pizza® share one thing:  both can deliver a crispy Hawaiian in thirty minutes or less.

At the end of the Roman Empire, laws had to be passed to keep the place going.  Some of the laws were normal, like huge taxes complete with people to come break your kneecaps if you didn’t pay the tax.  Some of the laws were a last-ditch attempt to keep the Empire going – the Romans were having difficulty developing technology because they couldn’t do algebra.  Whenever the Romans tried to solve for X, they kept coming up with 10.

Okay, enough math jokes for one paragraph.  The real problem was that laws always have unintended consequences.  When those unintended consequences pop up, what’s the obvious thing for a lawmaker to do?

Well, they don’t call them lawrepealers, they call them lawmakers, so they make another law.  And that new law has unintended consequences, too.  Why?  Because every law has unintended consequences.  If you’re a lawmaker, what’s your solution?

Yet more laws.  It’s like trying to fix a fraudulent election system by voting, but that was what the Empire did – pass more laws.  Expecting politicians to fix actual problems is like expecting the iceberg to fix the Titanic.

It got so silly that they had a law that if you were a farmer, your son had to be a farmer, too, so that Rome had enough farmers.  It wasn’t just limited to farmers, it was any old occupation.  If dad did it, junior had to do it, too.  The reason that they did that is because farmers were headed to the cities where the welfare was better, and just walking off the farms.

I wonder if that had any lasting consequences?

What we’re seeing now in the United States is something sadly similar.  A law is passed, and it has horrible consequences.  The solution?  More laws.

Taxes are simple that way.  Who gets taxed?

That’s simple!  People who don’t have their congressmen’s cell phone number on speed dial get taxed, that’s who.

Why are Sherlock Holmes’ taxes so low?  He’s an expert at deduction.

In order to not tax the people congressmen know, congressmen have to write increasingly complicated laws to create increasingly complicated regulations that then result in complicated interpretations which become as legally binding as the law that led to the regulation that led to the interpretation.  Whew.

Why so complicated?  Because if it were simple, everyone could take advantage of the tax code like it was one of Harvey Weinstein’s dates.

The result?

Jeff Bezos had at least two years that he paid zero taxes between 2006 and 2018.  Good job, Jeff and the legions of tax attorneys you hired!

Me?  I have to make do with TurboTax™, which sadly won’t talk to congressmen on my behalf.

The result of all of these laws isn’t just cronyism, where bald, Bond-villain wannabees like Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates save money so they can take their hideous goblin-looking girlfriends out on dates while their ex-wives slave away with only billions of dollars to show for their decades of devotion, which is quite a bit of money.   Some people work an entire year and don’t make $50 billion dollars.

I wonder if she enjoys his company.  Or his companies?

Tax law isn’t the only problem, and it isn’t even the worst problem.  The worst problem is the Command Economy.

What’s a Command Economy?  Essentially, it’s when the government decides that all of those natural economic laws that follow from generally free commerce that have worked throughout mankind’s existence are useless.  The result?

Men, top men mind you, decide who wins and who loses in the economy.  It’s like Jeff and Bill not paying taxes because legislators are lining up to do what they want, but worse.  It’s more like a transsexual bodybuilder having a prostate infection prior to the women’s weightlifting competition in the Olympics®.  We all know that’s not pretty.

What is the result when people try to plan the economy?

Disaster.  I’ve talked again (LINK) and again about the Soviet attempts at a planned economy.  It never works well.  People respond to incentives, and no single person (or even a bureau of people) is as smart as the collective decisions of millions of citizens.

Perhaps the most tragic story is that of China, which I’ve also written about before (LINK).  There, anything that Mao said, or that Mao’s advisor’s thought he said, became immediate law.  The result was the starvation of millions.  Ask AOC, and she’ll tell you, “That wasn’t starvation, that was simply involuntary food restriction, silly.  It was for their own good.”

Stalin and Mao:  still a better love story than Twilight.

Why did people starve to death?  Because the incentives of productivity were destroyed.  It has even happened on this continent when the Pilgrims showed up.  Their first idea was that everything would be held in common – they even wrote it down in the Mayflower Compact.  So, regardless of who gardened, everyone shared equally in everything.  What could be more Christian than that?

Mutual starvation, apparently.

Two years after the foundation of the Plymouth Colony the Pilgrims dumped their Mayflower Compact on the Ash Heap of History.  People could farm and keep the stuff they grew and do with it whatever they wanted.  The result?  The harvest of 1623 was the best harvest the Pilgrims had, until the next year when they produced even more.  The Chinese have dumped all the crazy Mao stuff, and have used the incentives of the free market to quickly pull amazing numbers of people out of poverty.  The Chinese people say they don’t mind the associated total state political control, but the CCP noted back to the people, “I don’t recall asking your opinion on anything.  Back into the kitchen!”

The secret ingredient in creating real prosperity remains the same:  private property.  Duh.

But people never learn.

Never mix math and booze:  don’t drink and derive.

I fear we’re at the brink of the next, tragic, Command Economy.  Of course, I’d love to blame this on the Left, but at least on this one?  It’s been a mutual suicide pact leaping towards a controlled economy.

Bill Clinton is the unlikely hero here.  Realizing his only path for re-election after his wife’s failed attempt at socializing medicine was to govern from the center, he did just that.  He stopped being a water carrier for the economic Left and stuck to cigars and interns for his amusement.

Clinton is a critically flawed man, but his true allegiance was power, and realizing that the path to it was one of moderation, he followed it – at least in the laws he signed.  Bush II wasn’t so inclined, he never met a person whose money he didn’t want to spend.  W’s abuse of the economy started with “compassionate conservatism” and continued through massive bribes of additional Medicare funding to buy his re-election.  Just as Clinton drove Right to get re-elected, Bush drove Left.

Obama?  Socializing medicine in a way that’s obviously not something that can be paid for in the long term is his legacy.  Otherwise, he mainly just continued W’s budget shenanigans, but with his friends winning.  Of course, why not.  They had his cell number.

I’d love to tell you that Trump was in some way different, but Trump has one strength – making a deal.  The laws of physics and economics are, sadly, not negotiable.  Biden?  Who knows what he thinks.  He certainly doesn’t.  But the idea of opening the checkbook has been continued (by someone) under Sleepy Joe.  I just got a check from .gov.  It was for “advance payment of child tax credit.”

What’s this?

Bread and circuses.  Flooding the economy with cash in the idea that not only votes can be printed by the millions, but prosperity can be printed, too.

Political Tip:  it’s okay to use your family members as political props, just remember, don’t use them as Halloween props.

The result is going to be predictable:  the inflation that’s currently occurring will be an “unintended consequence” of the spending today.  The reactions will be simple, and wrong.

  • “Let’s fix prices.”
  • “Let’s mandate higher wages because of higher prices.”
  • “Let’s give more money to those who need it most.”
  • “Let’s give a tax credit for alternative energy.”
  • “People. We have a lot of them.  Could we turn them into food?  Chuck-fil-a®, anyone?”

All of these ideas sound good (except Chuck-fil-a™, unless they have good dipping sauces), but all of them are wrong.  The distortions that resulted from FDR’s New Deal® still reverberate in our economy today.  Social Security alone has lifted trillions from the economy and removed the incentive to save for retirement.

Just like so many of the siren songs of socialism, Social Security sounds super.  People who get it say, “I paid in for it, so I earned it.”  Well . . . no.  The benefits far outweigh the contributions.  Social Security is really just income redistribution from the young to the old.  But hey, it sounds good, right?

Other distortions, as I said, are on the way.  We’ve seen this song and dance before.  Can’t sell at NY strip for more than $12 a pound?  Welcome to a new cut of meat – the Missouri Strip.  Or the Ohio Strip.  Of course, the reaction from government at this late stage will be to imprison people who attempt to get cheeky by getting around the laws.

What’s the hardest thing about being vegan?  Keeping it to yourself, apparently.

That’s what governments do when they are starting to lose control.  They come down in force on those who thumb their noses.  Look at the charges levied against the January 6 protesters:  they’re unjust.  Why are they unjust?  Because the more frightened a government is, the more it overreacts.

The reaction in the economy will be similar.  The idea that we can ignore thermodynamics and select an energy source without consequence is one that will be chosen.  Ideology will attempt to trump physics.  Instead of being hungry for food, if a Command Economy takes over, we will first hunger for power.

Of course, Leftism has caused nothing but hunger whenever (and that’s not an exaggeration) tried.  Want a diet plan that always works?  Communism is a sure bet.

Why can I be so sure in making that prediction?  When the Romans tried a Command Economy, it failed.  Those farmers, whose sons were supposed to take their place?

Those Roman sons walked away from the productive farms, because the price, their freedom, was too high.

In the end, economics always wins over ideology and bad math.  Always.  Generally, though, a lot of tragedy precedes it.

Let’s just hope this isn’t coming soon to a farm near you.

Investing The Oligarch Way

“Even for billionaire playboys, three o’clock is pushing it. The price of leading a double life, I fear.” – Batman Begins

I tried to find a good joke about carpentry, but nothing wood work.

Most of my life I’ve lived in places that were sparsely populated.  On Wilder Mountain during the school year, the nearest kid between the ages of 5 and 16 was about 8 miles away.  Ma Wilder would tie a pork chop around my neck so the dog would play with me.

I kid.  The solitude was nice.  I hiked by myself.  Some people “summered” there, meaning they had enough money to turn a season into a verb.  That was nice because that meant the same kid would show up year after year and we would go fishing or biking.

Right now, I have probably a hundred neighbors within a two-mile drive.

By many standards, that’s sparse, too.  For me, it’s just on the edge of “crowded” but since my daily commute consists of one stoplight that’s generally green, I can make it work.

You want scary?  North Korea has a missile that can hit New York City.  If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.

The trend, though, isn’t small towns like Modern Mayberry.  The trend is amazingly large and increasingly dehumanized cities.  I was watching the zombie movie set in South Korea, Last Train to Busan, with Pugsley last year.  It was really Seoul-crushing.  I decided to use the Internet to find pictures of what South Korea looks like when zombies aren’t chasing mass transit.

I was shocked by the density.  It turns out that South Korea has an average population density of 1,326 people per square mile, which is even more zombies per square mile than that German zombie movie, Shambler’s List.

Sure, you say, South Korea is only half of the population density of the city of Houston.  But that’s the urban part, and not including the ‘burbs.  The country of South Korea is, on average, nearly twice as dense as heavily populated suburbs.  On average.  That includes forests and rice paddies and zombie storage lots, er, cemeteries.

Despite the obvious inferiority for personal defense when the Moderna©-Pfizer™ Vaxombies inevitably show up (That means it’s working), cities continue to draw people to them.  The biggest reason, I suppose, is jobs.

Ever think that the evil aliens from They Live were a lot nicer than the human leaders we have today?

Having never grown up in that density, when I lived in a Houston ‘burb that had a population density of around 800 people per square mile.  I always felt lost and anonymous in that number of people.  With the flow of traffic, a five-mile jaunt to the supermarket could take 15 minutes or more.

Why did I do it?  My job.

Before writing this, I wasn’t sure how long this could go on.  A quick DuckDuckGo® search quickly told me the answer – Houston.  Certainly farther than Houston density:  one slum in Mumbai has a population density of 720,000 to 870,000 people per square mile depending on the source you choose to believe.  That’s a square (roughly) of six feet by six feet for each person, which includes streets.

36,300 people would be mashed into my five-acre lot.  I hope the ones that get assigned a space in the lake can tread water.  At heart, I’d prefer an Italian slum to an Indian one – I think I’d do okay in a spaghetto.

In other news, I now count as a family of three.

I’m pretty sure that mankind wasn’t designed in any way to live in conditions like that.  One article (which attempted to make the slum sound a lot less like a war crime) still mentioned the smell.  I guess in India none of the houses had base-mints.

Again, a slum in India isn’t a how-to manual for human habitation on Earth, but that’s a major trend in the United States today.  When I joke that they want you to live in the pod and eat the bugs, keep in mind that’s more than a joke to the powers that be.

See, I’m not kidding.

The solution, of course, is to own actual land.  Bill Gates and the other members of the Oligarch Class certainly have figured that out as well.  Bill recently bought 242,000 acres – enough to hold nearly 1.8 billion people by Mumbai-slum levels of packing ‘em in.

Although Mr. Gates is recently become exposed as über-creepy, no one accuses him of being stupid, except for the time when Melinda Gates told him, “Bill, this marriage isn’t working.”  Bill responded, “Well, let’s get divorced, remarry, and see if that doesn’t clear up the problems.”

The land rush is on.  Generally, these booms are followed by busts.  But when one of the things that is likely going to go bust is the currency itself, well, a small fluctuation in land prices doesn’t seem to matter much.  It must be a good deal, too.  Nearly half the land in Scotland is owned by just 432 people.  That might be why people are unhappy there – I hear even their flag is cross.

They want you to have a Land Rover® and a landlord.

Over time, the Oligarch Class has managed to create a pretty good way to hang on to wealth for generation after generation:  massive tracts of land, art, and precious things.  The Oligarch Class isn’t stupid – they keep the land and art in trusts so it moves from generation to generation seamlessly.  They never own it, but they control it.  I imagine that it would be even to imagine some of the assets tied up in trusts by the Oligarch Class.

Art?  If you have art in your family for 100 years, well, it’s bound to be worth something.  If you have it, you can sell a Picasso when revenues are down, and buy a Monet or a Manet when revenues are up.  And jewels and gold are great ways to move lots of assets in a small package.

The nice thing about being in the Oligarch Class means that no one ever gets to tell you to live in the pod and eat the bugs.  Heck, they’ve already got every need covered.  I thought about trying to set up a charity for the Oligarch class after the last land bust, but then I realized they already had one:  the United States Treasury.

Is it possible to generate this type of wealth?  Sure, some people have done it.  It’s not easy, and something tells me that behind most amazingly large fortunes are amazingly large crimes.  But after a few centuries?  Most people just forget about the crimes as you marry your kids off with other members of the Oligarch Class after they meet at Harvard™.

Getting in with the Oligarch Class is tough – entry level isn’t measured just in billions, it’s also measured in years.  Newly minted guys with just a billion or so need not apply.  They have to have standards to keep the little people out.

I’m not a hermit, at least I’ve never heard anyone call me that.

For now, at least, I live in a part of the country where I have instant and unfettered access to hundreds of acres of land to hunt on, shoot on, or just visit.  It may not be Wilder Mountain, but it’s much closer to that than Houston was for us.

Now, did I leave that Picasso in my other chalet?

Specialization And Generalization, Take Two

“If you do not return with the plumbers and the rock, I shall personally . . . kill you.” – Super Mario Brothers (Movie)

I bombed southern France too many times.  Now I don’t have too much Toulouse.

Last week I wrote a post about specialization versus generalization (LINK).  As a part of the discussion, Aesop chimed in with a rebuttal post.

Specialization Versus Generalization: The Economy Chooses

I love it.

His post was called, “Yes, BUT…” and can be found here (LINK).  RTWT.  If Aesop were President, during his first term he’d solve all our national problems in the first 10 days and then would be able to take the rest of the 1451 days of his reign teaching Nancy Pelosi to beg for crackers.  Heck, he might even take the time to housebreak AOC.

There are very few words I’d disagree with in his entire post.

Von Mises (he of the incredibly heavy tome “Human Action” that I’ve referenced before LINK) wrote about just this.  Von Mises noted that you could if you really wanted to, break a rock with another rock.  You could get gravel that way.

A Brief Guide To Human Action – Which Leads To Human Freedom

Ugh, Grug make gravel.

Please be gneiss.

But it’s as slow as Biden trying to do a connect-the-dot picture of a straight line.

Pounding one rock against another is the most direct, the most general way to make gravel.  You can use this tried and true method pretty much any time.  Heck, I did that when I was a kid and tried to make arrowheads out of the rocks up on Wilder Mountain.  I do know that it didn’t take long to knap an edge so sharp it could do my algebra homework for me.

There is, however, an alternative to pounding one rock against another.  You could, if you had patience, get a hammer.  But, first, someone had to make the hammer, which involved mining ore, smelting, and then casting or forging the head and mating this with a wooden handle.  Plus, you could use the hammer to smash avocados and make whack-a-molé, guacamolé’s ugly sister.

A hammer is much better at making little gravel than hitting a rock with another rock, but it’s more indirect.  Even better is to wait until a chemical industry forms, wait for dynamite, use that hammer to drill a hole in the rock, drop in some dynamite, and make lots of little rocks, all at once.  Von Mises successfully showed that indirect methods are much more efficient than direct methods.

Indirect methods require specialization, and more than one chemist blown to bits before rocks can be blown to bits.

A terrorist blew up my rugs. That’s what I call carpet bombing.

I have no disagreement that this is, by far, the more efficient way to do it.  It’s the best way to do it, until (of course) people develop the metallurgy to make complex rock crushers that make tons of gravel hourly.

This all happens in a stable society.

That stability has waxed and waned throughout history.

Once upon a time, the Romans controlled Britain.  They did this because they decided they didn’t want to control the whole world, they just wanted to control the countries that were adjacent to the Empire.  And then the next set of countries that were adjacent to the new, larger, Empire.  And so on.

Archeologists love dinner plates because people (like Pugsley) washing dishes drop them and break them.  Because they’re ceramic, they last nearly forever in a garbage dump.  Imagine the archeologists from Tau Ceti visiting Earth in the year 1,238,631 thinking that the people in our time sat on toilets all of the time because that’s one thing that will definitely outlast anything that mankind ever made.

Our future name, “The Poopy Potty Sitters of Planet Three” will be chosen by Zamorg Flooglplaz, Ph.D., Polaris University (Mascot: Gelatinous Brainsuckers).

I didn’t have breakfast on the tectonic plate, instead, I had the continental breakfast.

Like I said, archeologists love plates.  And when they dug into the trash heaps in London (no, I don’t mean Johnny Depp’s house) they found that when the Romans were there, people ate off of “pretty nice” plates, “pretty nice” being a technical description that by definition excludes Johnny Depp’s place.  It turns out that most of those plates were made in the south of France (which we now call, “France”), and then shipped throughout the Roman Empire.

The people in the south of France were really good at making plates because they had yet to learn how to smoke and wear berets, and the Roman Empire was big enough and stable enough that the French could specialize in making plates.  Since they specialized, they got pretty good at it.

But then society became unstable.  The Romans Legions left, promising, “Hey, Britain, I’ve got to go to work.  I’ll call you next week, promise.  Oh, look at the time.”

When the Roman Empire collapsed, so did the trade in plates.  100 years after the Romans (and their cool plates) left Britain, the king ate off of plates that were worse than any commoner could easily afford when things were nice, stable, and efficient under Roman rule.

Stability in society leads to specialization which leads to efficiency which leads to (generally) higher standards of living for everyone.

But instability doesn’t have to impact an entire Empire.  Instability can impact individuals throughout their careers.  Why did the journalists hate it when their “learn to code” mantra go thrown back in their face when they were booted to the curb and they found that they had no other remotely marketable skills?

Because journalists are rich kids who weren’t smart enough to get into law school.  Writing snarky columns about “10 Reasons Your Dog Is Transgender” isn’t really a marketable skill after HuffPo® decides to fire them.

What programming language did George Lucas use?  Jabbascript.

Unlike most journalists, I’ve had (sort of) a Swiss Army Career™.  I’ve developed a particular set of skills (not the Liam Neeson ones) that have allowed me to do a lot of different things, but I’m only an expert in one or two.  But that suite of “pretty good” skills has allowed me to, like a Swiss Army knife, be incredibly useful from time to time.  Scott Adams calls this a “talent stack” and not all of them are equal.

Had I limited them to a single expertise, I would have been less valuable, and much less employable when the industry I was in slowed down and another one was hot.  As I look at the success level of many of my colleagues, it has been due to their variation in skills rather than their expertise in a single skill that led them to success – and some of them are wildly successful.

To further explain Swiss Army talent, Steve Martin can do several things at a world-class level, (including comedy, and acting), and is really good at musicianship and writing and sort of okay at singing.  Together, this blend elevated him to a national treasure.

(And no, I’m not comparing me to him, just using him as an example of someone who inspires me.)

If Martin had kept slaying them nightly as a standup, odds are that as fashions change he would have been a “Remember that guy with the arrow through his head in the 1970s?  He was funny,” trivia answer.

He would have been the Gary Mule Deer of his generation.

“Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.” – Steve Martin

Another point I raised was certification.  In last week’s post, I made light of certification that can be found in many, many careers.

In a highly technical (and stable) world, certification is (sadly) essential to keeping people alive in certain professions.  Aesop brought up William Mulholland.  To quote Aesop,

“He (Mulholland) emigrated to America from Ireland, and started out as a literal ditch-digger for the city of Los Angeles, scraping mud out of the irrigation canals that supplied the bustling metropolis of 10,000 with all the water that could be gotten from the muddy semi-annual creek known as the Los Angeles River. He was an uneducated, unlettered, self-taught civil engineer who worked his way up to chief engineer of the city from scratch, just because he could figure things out.”

But, (also from Aesop):

“He (still Mulholland) was working on another project, still large and in charge, and he placed an earthen dam in one of the canyons north of Los Angeles. What he didn’t know was that the rock there was a terrible location for a dam. Which hydraulics, geology, and physics all demonstrated rather rudely one night in 1928, when the whole thing collapsed, killing at least 431 people (they’ve found bodies up to as recently as 1994) in the ensuing flood, ending Mulholland’s career, and he died a broken man.”

Mulholland’s error can be found again and again, even with credentialed professionals – re:  Tacoma Narrows Bridge, which was designed by the best and the brightest.  Stuff happens when you push the envelope of what we can do.  Part of the reasons that people don’t die on commercial airlines (very much) anymore is because we’ve discovered most of the ways that the airplanes can fall out of the skies.  Because airplanes built by credentialed engineers fell out of the skies, other credentialed engineers fixed the mistakes that made them fall out of the skies.

To be clear, before the planes fell out of the sky, the designers (mostly) had no idea they were making a mistake.

Mario’s™ favorite state?  Luigiana.

Our reliability is built on a sea of failure, sort of like I always imagined that the Marios® I killed in Super Mario Brothers fell on an infinitely deep pile of Mario skeletons.  It’s like the Tom Cruise movie, Edge of Tomorrow (If you haven’t seen it, it’s like Groundhog Day with the backdrop of an alien invasion of Earth).  Cruise’s character dies again and again but is reborn right where he was the previous morning with the knowledge of why he failed.

Engineering is like that.  Fail and learn and fix and stop failing.  Elon Musk’s SpaceX® exemplifies that sprit.  There’s another spirit that he exemplifies, and that’s the Robert Anson Heinlein quote that I tossed up last week:

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.

Specialization is for insects.

I’ll admit that, off of RAH’s list, I haven’t conned a ship, I haven’t set a bone, and I haven’t yet died.  I do think I could plan an invasion as well as Churchill did at Gallipoli.  Probably better, though I think Churchill could have taken me in a drinking contest.  I have done most of the others if you replace “hog” with “deer”.

Yes, that exact list?  Okay, it’s not my list.  But I’ll bet that you (and most people who end up here or at Aesop’s place) have multiple talents on a comparable list.  You can do lots of things that Bob never could have done – heck, I bet your list is better.

And being a generalist matters when novel solutions are required.  Novel solutions require (often) a combination of lots of different knowledge and experience.  Generalists are the pioneers and the people who keep the fires going after Rome leaves.  Generalists are the ones who figure out how to make the next sets of dishes after the supply from ancient France (now known as “France”) goes dry.

Aesop is right.  Specialists win when the weather is fair and the seas are calm.

I’m right.  Generalists win when the path is unclear and the seas are rough.

If I discover a way to make gravel out of rocks faster, I’ll let you know – it will be a ground-breaking discovery.

I prefer to live in a society where specialists help us create a great standard of living and keep increasing human knowledge.  But I also know that humanity forgot how to make concrete (which the Romans used in making the Pantheon in 126 A.D., which is still standing today) until about 1750 A.D., and we really didn’t get good at it until 1900 A.D.

Specialists make the world better and can achieve far more than generalists ever could.  They help the world see farther, and do more.  Generalists help the world advance in weird leaps that sometimes have horrible unintended consequences, but they also keep the fire of civilization burning.

Why not both?  Me?  I’ll be in the other room, making little rocks out of big rocks.

The Left’s War On Truth

“I’ve heard the truth, Mulder. Now what I want are the answers.” – The X-Files

Wow.  It’s like some of these might be made up.

The first enemy of the Left isn’t the Right.

The first enemy of the Left is the Truth.

The examples go back through history, starting with the Leftist takeover in France after the French Revolution.  In order to completely cut ties with the past, the Left even changed:

  • The names of the months: the Revolutionaries changed all of them, though they kept 12 months.  The coolest name was Therimidor which was, roughly, July.  I’ll give them that one:  Thermidor sounds like a place you keep wine.  I don’t know much about wine, but I do know you have to keep it hot.
  • Weeks went from 7 days to 10 days. Why?  Metric weeks!  They even had special names for the day, but they were all in French and looked like they might cause inadvertent strangulation if I tried to pronounce them.
  • The day went to ten hours. Each metric hour had 100 metric minutes.  Take that, Babylonians!
  • The units of measure. All standards of mass, energy, temperature, and length had to be changed.  Why do I call the metric system communist?  Because it started with the commies.  Did Stalin know how tall he was in feet and inches?  Nope, he was all metric, comrade.

Truth is the enemy of the Left, and the idea was (and is) to destroy history.  This is the reason the statues have to come down in city after city – they represent a Truth that the Left can’t control.  Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves?  His statue has to go.  He didn’t do enough.

Abe doesn’t go to plays anymore.  That last one blew his mind.

This Leftist hatred of the Truth might explain two stories that are recently in the news.

The first one is the reaction of the United States military versus Tucker Carlson.  Tucker Carlson:  Is he a legitimate military target, perhaps more dangerous than Russia?  More dangerous than China?

Well, no.

Mr. Carlson made a 10-minute segment where he criticized the President * for changing the military for political reasons.  The changes?  Most were tied to the feminization of the military.

Carlson made the point that the military’s job is winning wars.  Having pregnant female pilots probably (in Carlson’s estimation) didn’t make sense after President * made a comment about “maternity flight suits” in his address.

I hear this pilot’s husband complained that she worked too hard.  “Well, somebody’s gotta fetus.”

The response, from military personnel, in uniform consisted of a Marine sergeant who said, “. . . those decisions were made by medical professionals, by commanders, and our civilian leadership . . . .” and followed up with, “ . . . let’s remember that those opinions were made by an individual that has never served a day in his life . . . .”

I’m wondering what would have happened to a Marine in uniform attacking someone on the Left on social media?  Oh, wait, Marine sergeant Gary Stein was kicked out with an “other than honorable” discharge for criticizing Obama.  Sure – Tucker Carlson isn’t the Commander-In-Chief, but this is a political attack while in uniform.

John Kirby, Pentagon Press Secretary:  “(The United States Armed Forces) . . . won’t take advice from a talk show host or the Chinese military.”

But would the United States Armed Forces take advice from the Marines?

I hope I don’t give her low elf esteem.

In 2015, the Marines did a $35,000,000 (that’s a lot of crayons) study about integrating women into combat groups.  A pretty decent summary is here on the Marine Corps Times (LINK).  I’ll publish a few snippets from the article that highlight findings of the study (All bullet points are direct quotes from the Marine Corps Times):

  • All-male squads and teams outperformed those that included women on 69 percent of the 134 ground combat tasks evaluated.
  • All-male teams were outperformed by mixed-gender teams on two tasks: accuracy in firing the 50-caliber machine gun in traditional rifleman units and the same skill in provisional units. Researchers did not know why gender-mixed teams did better on these skills, but said the advantage did not persist when the teams continued on to movement-under-load exercises.
  • All-male squads in every infantry job were faster than mixed-gender squads in each tactical movement evaluated. The differences between the teams were most pronounced in crew-served weapons teams. Those teams had to carry weapons and ammunition in addition to their individual combat loads.
  • Male-only rifleman squads were more accurate than gender-integrated counterparts on each individual weapons system, including the M4 carbine, the M27 infantry automatic rifle and the M203 grenade launcher.
  • Male Marines with no formal infantry training outperformed infantry-trained women on each weapons system, at levels ranging from 11 to 16 percentage points.

Shockingly, women are different than men, the study found (All bullet points are direct quotes from the Marine Corps Times):

  • In anaerobic power and capacity, female Marines averaged 15 percent lower levels than their male counterparts. In anaerobic power performance, the top 25 percent of female performers and the bottom 25 percent of male performers overlapped.
  • In aerobic capacity, female Marines demonstrated levels 10 percent lower on average than male Marines.
  • Over the course of the assessment, musculoskeletal injury rates totaled 40.5 percent for women, more than double the 18.8 percent rate for men.

The Marines declare war on Tucker Carlson?

To the Left, Tucker Carlson is evil incarnate – Tucker is questioning one of the Sacred Points of Liberalism – Reality Is What We Say It Is.  That cannot go unpunished.  Personally, I know one former Air Force officer who is female who probably could have done any specialty she wanted to in the Air Force.  She is so far off the charts by multiple standard deviations on intellect and physical ability so as to be not comparable to average in any way.

She has contributed more to the national defense than I ever will – and she’s still doing it.  But the outliers don’t prove the average.

Women can serve, and can serve meaningfully, but they have physical limitations so significant that the Marines in 2015 said that combat infantry wasn’t an option if your goal was killing people and blowing up things.  An average college varsity swimmer can beat every woman’s swimming record – world record.  The woman’s record for deadlifting is 683 pounds – that’s quite a lot.  The men’s record?  1,104.5 pounds, nearly double.

Who says guns aren’t sexy?

No, we’re not deadlifting our opponents to beat them in combat, but strength, speed, and quickness mean something to the Marines or else P.T. would consist of couch time and nachos for lunch.  I’d think physical fitness mattered for people engaged in combat.

The Marine study agreed:  the top 25% of women overlapped with the bottom 25% of men in physical ability.  Also, in sheer competence, the all-male Marines clearly won 70% of all combat exercises.  Though I can’t find the quote, I do recall reading that several female participants in the study were quoted as being of the opinion that females shouldn’t be in combat after seeing the results.

What’s most frightening to me is that the military has come together to attack Carlson.  For the military to attack a civilian in the news media over an opinion that is political in nature is unsupportable.  It’s the next step to the United States Military becoming involved in domestic politics.  Oh, wait, there are troops in the Capitol and permanent fencing going up to keep citizens out?  Nevermind.

Ooops.  Looks like someone reads Twitter®?

The second news item might not originally seem related, but I assure you it is.  The last week has seen the growth of a new orientation:  Super Straight.

Super Straight has its origin in transgender ideology.  You see, if you are a male that doesn’t want to date a “trans woman” the trans community would call you a “transphobe” because, in their world, “trans women are women.”

Well, Super Straight was an amazing troll of this philosophy.  It was actually the brainchild of a 16-year-old on TikToc®.  He was lamenting that he would be called a “transphobe” for not liking “trans girls” so he came out . . . as Super Straight.  That meant that he was only attracted to women who were born as women.

The group noted they felt being called “cis-male” or “cis-female” was hate speech.  Orange and black are the SuperStraight colors.

In 2021 the idea that a biological male might want to only date biological females is being sold to kids as odd.  But even kids can see this is nonsense.  That’s why they’re revolting.  They were using the same language that the Left uses back at them, “Why can’t you stop attacking me for this?  I was born this way.”

And the Left must stop that – the idea that “normal” can defend itself is not acceptable.

The Left has to portray themselves as the undisputed victim class.  They are the ones that are horribly abused.  They are the ones that are deserving of pity because society oppresses them.  The idea that another group might take this from them?

Worse than death.  The Left agrees.

Remember,  trains is hard job.

So, the plug was pulled on the Reddit® forum r/SuperStraight after just over a week – despite the fact that over 25,000 people had joined it that quickly.  Or was it because that many people joined it that quickly?

Ironically, it wasn’t long before SuperLesbians started showing up.  They were creeped out by transwomen wanting to date them and calling them transphobes if they said no.  Also?  SuperGays showed up.  They didn’t want to date transmen.  It was a strange, weird, and amazingly polite group of people who didn’t want to be forced to date people who are (let’s be clear) more than a little creepy.

Is it a crime to notice?

I don’t dislike trans people – I don’t know any of them.  There just aren’t that many in the world.  There might be 0.1% to 0.3% based on a 2014 study.  Many of them have other underlying psychological issues:  their suicide rate is 20 times their peer group after surgery.  Based on everything I’ve read, they are a group that deserves sympathy and psychological help.

The trans movement is probably the biggest finger in the eye of Truth that the Left has pushed so far.  The idea that a 10-year-old kid can make decisions that would lead to them being put on very potent hormones with far-reaching implications to block puberty is frightening.

But the Left will support that with everything they have:  when Rand Paul questioned Dr. Levine about giving kids powerful hormones and conducting surgery on them during confirmation hearings, all Dr. Levine would say is, “Transgender medicine is a very complex and nuanced field with robust research and standards of care . . . .”

See, even the sign language interpreter isn’t buying it.

So, yes.  Levine supports it.  The Left agrees.  And mainstream news was, unsurprisingly ready to complain that Rand Paul didn’t understand medicine.  Dr. Rand Paul, M.D.

It erases our past.  It erases our norms.  It erases the current structure of society.  This is the same exact playbook as the military.  The military ceases to be about protecting the country, it becomes an arm of the political Left, erasing hundreds of years of tradition and purpose.

You realize this is next, right?

That’s why the SuperStraight movement made me smile.  It was founded by kids who see the lie.  They know they are being lied to.  They know the people who are lying, know they are telling lies.  This is the best element of hope:  Truth matters.

The Truth will win.

The Funniest Article You’ve Ever Read About Bon Jovi And The Everything Bubble

“Yeah, it was like, even though Bubbles was Bubbles, he was two people at the same time as bein’ Bubbles. He was trying to be this other person that wasn’t Bubbles, but he was still Bubbles.” – Trailer Park Boys

What was Schrödinger’s favorite Bon Jovi song? Wanted Dead or Alive.

Euphoria. The name even sounds good. It comes from the Greek “Eu” meaning “quite slippery and frictionless” and the Greek “phoros” which means “wet”. A direct translation is “Slippery When Wet,” as noted by the great Italian philosopher, Giovanni Bongiovi.

If you’ve ever been to a college party you’ve seen the application of euphoria over common sense, especially in the hours between 11 P.M. and 1 A.M. It’s at that time that the liquor has hit several partygoers like a Canadian baboon on a yak crotch. They have ambition. They have a limitless lack of common sense.

There is no tomorrow! Party on!

And euphoria has had several pleasant outcomes: more than one happy accident of a child has turned up nine months after the euphoria ended. Let’s face it – if every child was planned, there’d be six or so people living in the United States.

Justin Trudeau’s parents decided they don’t want kids anymore. Who is going to tell Justin?

Euphoria has even allowed people to exceed what they themselves ever thought possible. When throwing common sense to the wind, sometimes the outer limits of human performance are defined – we find out what it is that we can really do.

More often than not? We end up flat on our faces. That can be its own victory, but it’s often part of a longer story.

The real interesting part is when euphoria meets money. That’s when we get stupid, and we start convincing ourselves of crazy things.

The biggest crazy thing of my life was the Dotcom Bubble. That was amazing. Companies were formed in days and then ended up being “worth” ten million dollars a week later, without ever producing a product. Heck, it wasn’t just producing a product – they didn’t even know what product they were going to produce.

Spanish coders like to use Si++.

Several of my friends were caught up in the front end of one Dotcom venture. They were flown to a kickoff party. The band at the kickoff party? Hall and Oates®. Sure, Hall and Oates™ were 20 years past their prime, but, still, the kickoff was for the idea of installing some fiber optic cables.

It wasn’t even that large of a project. I’m not sure if they ever built any fiber optics. But when I asked if I could be at the party my boss said, “I can’t go for that.” (Sorry jokes aside, they really did hire Hall and Oates© for the party.)

How much oat could Hall and Oates haul if Hall and Oates hauled oats?

Another friend sold his website for a total of $50,000,000. The website was making a profit – about $1,000 a month. Of course, the kicker was that he sold his website for $50,000,000 in Alta-Vista® stock that he couldn’t sell for a year.

Oops.

Don’t cry for him – he didn’t have enough money to retire, but he had enough that he took three years off to hike and relax.

Euphoria makes people do crazy things.

The second crazy thing that happened in my life was the Housing Bubble. When I was looking for one loan, I was told that I qualified to borrow ten times my annual income.

“Why would you offer me that kind of money? I could never pay it back.”

The Loan Officer responded, “Yeah, I know, but you qualify for it. So the computer tells me I have to offer it to you.”

We all know how well that ended.

Thankfully they allowed me to finish the “Alan Parsons Project” I was working on.

Through this, Citigroup® has maintained a panic/euphoria model. The idea is that there is a way to measure what investors think about the market. Are they panicked? Or are they as giddy as drunken freshmen at their first college kegger.

If investors are skittish, the idea is that stocks are a bargain. People are afraid of stocks and would be happy to sell them to you. It’s the idea of buying when blood is in the street.

But if investors are euphoric, then the prices for things are too high. How high? Double-digit high.

Looks like party central!

Right now, Citigroup’s® panic/euphoria model is flashing “Slippery When Wet and Three Tequila Shooters.” It’s higher than the Dotcom® Bubble. It’s much higher than the excesses of the Housing Bubble.

It’s the Everything Bubble. And investors are still three sheets to the wind, knee-walking, too-loud singing, drunk.

This makes sense, too. Presidents love to pop the bubble in the first year of their first term. It’s not like people will remember the pain three years from now, if they’re able to manage growth and restart the economy. Besides, you can blame the pain on the last guy.

I guess he swallowed a few on that “steel horse” he rides.

There is ample incentive for Biden to crater the market. There is ample incentive for him to crater employment, too. In both of those things, he can restart the clock and claim growth from worst that 2021 or 2022 brings to us.

If we’re lucky, all we get is a hangover. I don’t think anyone wants this baby.

GameStop: The Tip Of The Corruption Iceberg

“And pruned the hedges of many small villages.” – Three Amigos

Amazing what happens when you find the world is corrupt . . . .

GameStop®.

In a world filled with COVID-19 shutdowns and Internet sites where you can download nearly any game ever made for low prices, it seemed like a sure thing that GameStop™ would fail. Except . . . people liked going. The profits weren’t through the roof, and the business model was older. Heck, the last time I was in a GameStop™ was over eight years ago, and about half the shelf space was pop-culture memorabilia and nerd toys, not games.

Never mess with weaponized autism.

Seeing this, the Wizards of Wall Street® decided to “short” GameStop™. I’ll explain what that is, and I promise you my analogy will be far funnier than what CNN© does unintentionally – and that’s a high bar.

Let’s pretend that you and I are friends. You brought the latest Pac-Man© cartridge game. Since you trust me, you lend it to me.

Addled on Monster™ Energy Drink© and chicken tendies, I waddle down to the local GameStop©. Since there is a relative shortage of Pac-Man™, GameStop™ offers me $50 for the cartridge. I pocket it and go home.

Two months later, you sober up and remember I borrowed your vidya game, and ask for it back. I waddle my greasy fingers down to GameStop© and buy a used cartridge. It’s not the original one that you lent me, sure, but you’ll never know the difference, not with your hygiene.

Since Atari© has made a metric buttload of additional Pac-Man© cartridges, the price to buy a used version is now $30. I buy it. I give it back to you. I pocket the $20, and no one is the wiser.

Last week was like no other . . .

That’s a short sale. I borrowed a commodity – one Pac-Man© video game cartridge (minor wear and tear excluded) is functionally exactly the same as any other Pac-Man™ cartridge.

That’s (sort of) what the hedge funds were trying to do with the shares of GameStop©, but with one crucial difference: the price went up. And they sold more shares of GameStop™ than exist.

That can happen in two ways. The first is legal. If I owned 100 shares of GameStop©, my broker could loan them to someone going short. They’re selling legal, actual shares. I might really, really, like GameStop™, so maybe I buy 100 more.

My account says that I have 200 shares of GameStop© now. I think I have 200 shares of GameStop™, but in reality, my broker only has 100. The same thing happens in a fractional reserve bank (like your bank) in that if you put $100 in, the bank might loan it all out. You think you have $100, but that $100 was loaned to someone. Just like shorting a stock, it sounds illegal, but it’s not.

So how does that work with my previous analogy?

Ahh, in a perfect world.

It’s exactly the same. If the price of Pac-Man© goes from $50 to $30, then I make $20. But if there’s a fire at the Pac-Man© cartridge plant in Roswell, New Mexico (because they use alien slave-labor from Arcturus to make them), and the price goes up to $100?

I’m out $50. But how often do the Arcturans revolt? Not often.

So, we’ve seen how my little deal could go wrong. But how wrong could it get? Infinitely wrong. Let’s say that I do this with 1000 Pac-Man© games, since it’s a sure thing. So, GameStop© gives me $50,000. Now I just sit and wait.

Yup, the hedgies lost billions.

But the fire thing happens. And since everyone else sold all of their friend’s Pac-Man© games before the factory caught fire, the price goes up. Way up. Like up twenty times in price. Let’s see, 20 times $50 is . . . $1,000 a copy. So now, since I borrowed that $50,000 in hopes of making $20,000 when the price went down, I’m actually in really bad shape.

I owe 1000 games times $1,000 dollars. I owe my friends, collectively, $1,000,000.

Ooops.

Musk is no fan of short sellers since they tried to destroy Tesla® a few years ago.

This is what the hedge funds did. And since (I believe) some of them are what is known as a “market-maker” they have 21 days to come up with those games (shares). 21 days is forever, so don’t worry about those billionaires – most of them are still billionaires – they just will have to wait until next month to buy that second volcano island death lair.

This is the situation that the Reddit© group r/wallstreetbets found – GameStop© was horribly oversold by hedge funds, and just a few people buying could start pushing the price up.

At one point, one of the r/wallstreetbets early investors in the short squeeze was up $48,000,000. That’s not a typo.

With a short, there’s a lot of power as the price goes up. The Hedge Fund Leech that runs the hedge fund starts to get nervous, and adds to the buying pressure as he tries to buy stocks to “cover his short.” This actually increases the price, sometimes causing it to go upward. A lot upward.

If that was all that happened, it would have been an amusing story. Wall Street Leeches get one-upped by message-board posters. Ha ha!

Something wonderful about that, right?

But that’s not all that happened. Immediately, the news media, (some) trading houses (most notably Robinhood©) and the talking heads began talking about how this was bad. The people who normally distort the economy and screw over the middle class don’t really like it when the weapons that they use are used against them.

Google®? Not on your side.

Well, actually none of them are on your side.

Huh. And they invest big dollars for that privilege. How much money have they given Janet Yellen, Secretary of the Treasury? A lot.

Whose side is Joltin’ Janet on? Not yours.

Last week on Thursday and Friday the powers that be told the markets to “shut down” the Internet Freedom Party raid on the financial leaches. In fact, several articles extolled how the Hedge Fund Leeches were the real heroes.

I’m feeling so sorry for him!

It’s a big game, but you and I are not supposed to play. You’re supposed to buy shares in your 401K so the Hedge Fund Leeches can take your money and collude with each other to own the economy. The free market is, in principle, a great thing. People buy and sell. The market allows the prices to be shared by all.

Well, I used to be the guy in front.

But Monday? Someone spent a quarter billion dollars to depress GameStop©. It’s analyzed here (thanks to r/wallstreetbets):

Also, people forget this: there were Hedge Funds on the other side of the deal. Vampires don’t need prices to go down, they can also make money when prices are going up.

Who knew that Karen ran the SEC?

No. Big players distort prices, they sell and buy options to make money on stocks that they intend to dump for short term profits after manipulating the markets. That this financial vampirism actually destroys companies, jobs, and communities?

And they will call you anything to make a buck.

Who cares? Not the Wall Street Hedge Leeches. Here’s Tucker Carlson with a discussion about one Wall Street Hedge Leach destroying an entire town in Nebraska. For a few million bucks. They would do that to you, your family, and everyone you know for a 2% return.

If you’re not mad, you’re not paying attention.

None of this is financial advice, you hosers. So, take off, eh. All of the memes are “as found” on the Internet.

Three Wednesday Thoughts, But They’re Hilarious. Like Your Mom (No Your Mom Jokes Included).

“There have been many theories which say that life has been deliberately sent to Earth from another planet. Some experts ridicule these ideas. And such theories might have remained unbelievable, except for disclosures such as these, which continue to be found year after year.” – In Search Of . . .

Did you know all of the web addresses are piled up in Russia?  It’s called the URL Mountains.  (Not my meme.)

I’ll start with the apology.

I had not one, but three topics for tonight.  None of them (for various reasons) are cooked enough for my usual post.  I blame, (spins excuse wheel) hamsters in the wiring of my secret volcano lair.  Sure.  That works.  I mean, my secret volcano lair would work.

Except for the stupid hamsters.

So, instead of being focused, this one will start off with some bloggy news, have some actual real news in the middle, and end up with some silly commentary.  In a just and verdant world, filled with love and free Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup®, Sprite™, and Trump Antibody Blood© for battling the ‘Rona, well, this would be a unified post.

Not tonight.  Unless you can get me some Trump Antibody Blood©.  No, I don’t have the ‘Rona.  But, could Trump Antibody Blood™ hurt?

Trump just banned shredded cheese – he wants to Make America Grate Again.  (Not my meme.)

But the good news?  You’ll find we’re extra funny tonight.

First – bloggy news. 

I try not to write too much about writing.  I don’t want to feel like Stephen King, especially since The Mrs. has officially ruled him as “a hack.”  That happened about 1991, so according to The Mrs., old Steve has been a hack longer than Russia has been Russia.  See, kids?  If you’re a writer, never quit cocaine*.

*Assuming you’ve started.  I never did.  I get by based on my disagreeable personality, questionable personal hygiene and those U.N. war crime charges I keep dodging.  Who knew there was an international law governing nuns, orphans and free-range poodles?

Here’s the actual news:

I had so much fun liveblogging the first Presidential Debate©, that I’m planning on doing the second and third ones as well.  I’ll put up a post the night before, and use the comments of that post for the liveblogging.   I intend to start the show about fifteen minutes before the debate starts.  I fully expect Trump will transform on television into a trans-dimensional entity clothed entirely in sold gold and wielding the power of a thousand Suns during the third debate.  If he doesn’t, I expect that Trump will at least unleash a hammer wielding midget from the meth cage and sic the midget on Joe Biden.  The Mrs. originally thought the midget would be in a penalty box, but we both agreed a meth cage was better.

Further “behind the scenes” commentary:  The Mrs. and I started this joke even before we were married.  When New York outlawed dwarf tossing, The Mrs. (then The Miss) suggested that we just let them fight.  I suggested it would be more humane if we restricted it to midgets, but allowed them to have normal claw hammers.  You know, for the sake of the children.  Or something.

Midget machete fighting?  That’s for tourists.

Regardless, if there’s a midget in a meth cage, you’re already on his bad side.  (This had The Mrs. in stitches at Pugsley’s latest football game.  If you’re wondering, Pugsley tackled the quarterback and the ball popped up and one of his much faster teammates ran it in for six.  Since our team was 43 points up, that allowed them to add a 12th player.  You guessed it:  I suggested the hammer wielding midget from the meth cage.  So, now you know.)

I do not intend to liveblog the Vice Presidential Debate®.  Pence will do his job of being calm and collected and aware.  He’s like a potted plant:  he’s alive, there, quiet, and will live forever if you keep him watered and in the appropriate amount of sunlight.  That’s okay – it’s his job to be exactly those things.  The only real potential for amusement is if Kamala goes shrill and nutsy or tries to have sex with the moderator to get bonus debate points.  Regardless of whatever Kamala does, as long as Pence appears more like a fern or one of those hanging spider plants Ma Wilder fancied, he wins.

Second – real news.

Whoa.

The last time a Clinton clinched this hard involved an intern and . . . well, I’ll stop there.

This might be the first time you read this, which would give me a scoop.  I’ve had several other scoops, but most of them showed up when I was 75% complete with a post.  That means I got the news at 2:30AM.  I said, no, no scoop.  I may be a comedic genius who has nightmares about little people with claw hammers, but I have to get some sleep sometime.

This news should surprise no one, but yet it does.

Trump specifically told us back at some time I’m not going to look up because you have DuckDuckGo®, too that he’s saving the real fireworks for October, 2020.

The first of those firework shots is declassification of all documents, without redaction, related to the Russia Hoax.  I expect this to not be the biggest revelation from Trump before the election, only the first.  I expect the biggest one the week before the election.

National security and the Department of Justice.  Hmm.  Stay tuned.

My bet?  That revelation the week before the election will be film of Joe Biden personally sabotaging the space shuttle Challenger or John Podesta caught on a double date with Osama Bin Laden.  Their double date partners?  George Soros and Whoopi Goldberg.

Oh, wait.  Maybe the final revelation of 2020 is . . .

Bin Laden.

Biden.

Bin Biden?

Bin Laden and Bin Biden, brothers separated at birth?

Now that would be an October Surprise.

This is cruel.  They should at least offer him some spirit cooking for his last meal.  Also, (not my meme.)

Third – some commentary.

I don’t really expect that anyone of real power will ever be indicted on charges.  Why?  That would upset the system.  Obama is safe to go from corporation to corporation looting tens of millions in delayed payoffs.  The Real Rulers™ can do whatever they want and never face justice.  Why?

They hired the people that prosecute the cases that they’re involved in.  They know secrets that even more powerful people don’t want told, like who really killed JFK and where my remote control is.

I’ll take things that will never happen for $1000, Alex.  Also? (Not my meme.)

Regardless of that, there is no way that you’ve heard the weirdest thing yet from 2020.  I stand by that.  Trump, in the hospital for the ‘Rona?  Not even close.  We have 86 days left in 2020.  That’s nearly 25% of the year.

My bet?  We get 80% of the drama of 2020 in the last 25% of 2020.

What does that leave on the table?

  • Aliens buying San Francisco and replacing it with decent parking.
  • Dogs and cats, living together.
  • Elon Musk disclosing his wife is really a robot cat girl, and thus she is not eligible for alimony.
  • Places like Europe, Australia and New Zealand finally adopting reasonable, common-sense recreational nuclear device policies of no more than ten megatons per recreational nuke.
  • Justin Trudeau vows to one day learn the alphabet.
  • Kim Kardashian discovers that she is pregnant, and wonders if it is her baby.
  • Joe Biden admits he can’t dial 911 on the telephone because he doesn’t have an eleven key.

Well, none of those things are likely.

But was 2020 likely in the first place?