Girls, Beer, A.I., Weed, Isaac Newton, Elon Musk and The Future of Humanity

“You compared the A.I. to a child. Help me raise it.” – Terminator:  The Sarah Connor Chronicles

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And, yes, A.I. regularly beats humans at poker, too.

The following is one of my more ambitious posts – it contains all of the usual bad humor, but also some of the better insights I’ve been able to make on the future we face as humanity.  Two previous posts that are related are The Silurian Hypothesis, or, I’ve Got Lizards in Low Places and The Big Question: Evolution, Journalists, Beer (and Girls), and the Fate of Intelligent Life on Earth.  Both also feature pictures of girls at Oktoberfest, so you know I’m consistent.

Stephen Hawking is managing to keep making the news even after his death, which is a kind of immortality that makes tons of people want to follow in his wheel tracks.  His final (unless there are more!) physics paper was released, and his comments about the future keep making the news, as recently as last week.  Of particular interest to Hawking was Artificial Intelligence, which we’ll call by its conventional abbreviation, N.F.L.  Oh, my bad, that stands for Not For Long.  Everybody calls Artificial Intelligence A.I.

A.I. has been improving drastically during the last 37 years.  1981 was the first time a computer beat a chess grandmaster at chess.  It could not beat him at parallel parking, even though the grandmaster was awful at it, and they tied at unhooking the bra of a college cheerleader at 0 to 0.  2005 was the last time a human player defeated a top chess program, and now a chess program that can run on a mobile phone can beat, well, any human, but the chess program is still sad because it only has 17 friends on Facebook®.

Humans have lost the game of chess.

Humans have also lost the game of “go” – a game originating in China.  Google©’s AlphaGo Zero learned how to play go by . . . playing itself.  It was programmed with the rules, and played games against itself for the first few days.  After that?

It became unstoppable.  It crushed an earlier version of itself in 100 straight matches.  Then, when pitted against a human master, probably the best go player on Earth?  It plays a game that is described as “alien” or “from the future.”  The very best human go players cannot even understand what AlphaGo Zero is even doing or why it makes the moves it does – it’s that far advanced over us.

Humans have lost the game of go.

A.I. is here now.

And you’ve already started to merge with it, after a fashion.  We simply don’t argue about facts in our house anymore.  We can look up a vast library of human facts and history in fractions of a second – as fast as we can type.  That time that William Shatner corrected a poetry reference I made on Twitter®?

Yes, that William Shatner, and yes, this really happened.

I could check to see if Shatner was right immediately.  He was.  Back before Google® I would have had to run off to my library and see if I had the right reference book and then find the poem.  And if I didn’t?  I’d have to go to a real library to look it up.  Google™ is A.I. memory that we use every day.

And YouTube©?  If you ever watch a political video on YouTube® it quickly introduces more and more partisan political material until pretty soon Actual Stalin™ and Actual Hitler© seem to be moderating voices.  This makes me wonder how much Google® is aiding in our current political divide, or even if the A.I. knows it.  It may be doing nothing more than maximizing the number of minutes you spend with YouTube™ and the optimal way to do that is to show you the most radical stuff possible, so the ironic answer is we might be shuffling off to Civil War due to an algorithm whose purpose started out as a way to view cute puppy videos.

Twitter© is emotional crack, and, again, the interface is made to maximize your interaction with Twitter™.  And what better emotion to fuel than anger?

A.I. is with you now, and influencing you, perhaps in an unintentional fashion – no Russians required.

But a chess playing A.I. can’t park a car very well and can’t even score a phone number from a cheerleader.  And a self-driving car can’t play chess worth a darn.  It seems that A.I. does well when it works off of rules and constraints that can be well defined.  But life is messy.  The rules change, and the goals vary based on where you are in life and what part of the day you’re on.  And how you’ve been programmed by the sensory environment and incentives you see in life.

We’ve entered into symbiotic relationships with those limited A.I. systems.  Netflix® suggests movies and documentaries that it thinks you will like based on an algorithm.  And that leads to suggestions about what documentaries you might like in the future, meanwhile never exposing you to opposing viewpoints that might make you analyze your position in a critical manner.

We as individual humans have a purpose that transcends the algorithm.  Appropriate rules and constraints to give our lives boundaries sufficient so that we can play the game.  We’re merging.  What happens when we merge further?

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Elon’s biggest miracle?  His hair transplant is nearly perfect.  Just amazing.

Elon Musk has started a company, Neuralink® whose sole function is to merge man and machine.  Musk is concerned that A.I. will crush us if we don’t merge with it and get ahead of it, so he’s doing the only sane thing that he can think of:  he’s creating a mechanism to directly merge the human brain with the Internet.  Rather than A.I. forming an alien intelligence, the soul of the man/machine hybrid stays as man.

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And man needs weed, apparently.

I spent some time thinking about how life would be different if you were hooked directly into the world.  The places that I got were interesting.  I’m sure there are more, and I’m sure that human/A.I. interface will change the world in ways that no human can yet imagine.

Impact Number One:  Intelligence.

This is the obvious first impact of A.I.  I mean, it’s in the name, right?  The human brain is has limited processing power.  But what if you could have multiple processing streams working optimum solutions to problems that you face at a rate of 20,000 to 100,000 a second?  You’d have great solutions to your problems, immediately.

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My tonsils beg to differ.  Oh, wait, they were from my throat untimely ripped! – Shakespeare, Macbeth

Your speed of life would change – once you understood a problem, you’d have the solution.  Or a range of solutions and alternatives and counter-solutions so deep that you’d be living in a never ending cloud of probability.  The sheer ability of your brain to process and cope with the solutions presented would be the limiting factor of what you could accomplish.  Plus you might finally be able to figure out a way to talk to the ladies, you scamp.

Impact Number Two:  Deep Understanding.

When Isaac Newton was formulating the law of gravity, he asked for data on tides, on observation periods and records on the orbits of the Moon, Jupiter, Mars.  After noodling around a bit, he formulated the law of gravity:

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I’d explain the equation, but that would deprive Wikipedia (where I found the graph) of life-giving page visits.  And you’re not spending your day calculating the orbit of Uranus.  I hope.

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Ha!  I discovered calculus way before I was 25!  It was right there in this book I had to buy labeled “Calculus.”

Yeah, Newton accomplished a lot.

But it took time for Newton to figure out this cause and effect calculation.  A man/A.I. hybrid will have access to all of the data of the world, and will be able to determine correlations and causation much more quickly than either alone.  I would expect that in fairly short order new relationships and new physical, anthropological, sociological and economic laws will be deduced unencumbered by all the theory that we think we know, but that is wrong.   Our laws would be based on experience, on empirical data, and not on pretty lies we’d like to believe.

If you could sift through the data of 100,000 or a million cancer patients and their treatment, the patterns that could be seen would likely lead to breakthroughs and a very rapidly changing understanding of treatment.  The very power of human intuition would be combined with massive calculation and data.  If Einstein and Newton were able to daydream reality with only brains made of meat stuck in a bone case, what could an augmented Newton dream when his memory and calculating power were practically unlimited?

I bet he could come up with at least one new tasty PEZ® flavor.  Maybe snozberry?

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Impact Number Three:  Human Interaction.

You could increase your charisma in dealing with other people if you could make only minor changes (generally) in your behavior and appearance.  But if you were hooked into an A.I.?  You could turn on a subroutine to give you tips on those modifications in real time to be more persuasive – to better read an audience.

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If you ever played Dungeons and Dragons, this makes sense.  If not, dial 1-800-ASKANERD.

Your A.I. could remind you to be kind, to be ruthless when necessary, to be conscientious when required.  In short, you could change your personality to fit the situation.  What situation?  Any situation.

Thinking about changing personality to fit the situation led me to a realization.  I had done (when I was younger) some magic tricks illusions.  Doing those tricks illusions was one of the greatest insights into the human mind and information processing systems that I’d ever had.  There was one trick illusion in particular, called “scotch and soda” which I liked.  In it, you hand the person a fifty cent piece covering a quarter.  What they saw, however, was a fifty cent piece and a Mexican twenty centavo piece.  The quarter is actually much smaller than the centavo piece.  I then asked them to not look and put one coin in each hand.

The first few times I tried the trick illusion, the person would feel the quarter in their hand and say, “hey, this is a quarter.”  This happened 100% of the time.  They could feel that I’d made the swap from one coin to the other.  I made one simple change to what I said.  I added, as I was putting the coins in their hand, “Look at how much larger the fifty cent piece is than the twenty centavo piece.”

After adding that instruction, NO ONE NOTICED the swap.  0%.  15 words, and I’d changed their entire view of reality.  I found, in repeating other tricks illusions that I could similarly, with just a few words or gestures, force 90% of people to make the selections I wanted them to make.

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Now imagine I have data on the interactions of millions of people over decades.  How unique do you think you really are?  Not very.  Marketers slice us up into groups based on geography, demography, demonstrated behaviors, and psychological markers.  With (whatever) information YouTube© has on me, they know what videos I watch when I work out at lunchtime.  They also know what music I listen to when I write these posts, and they suggest music I never asked for that I like, or learn to like.

Imagine I could understand your life’s history.  Now imagine that I could simulate you in a conversation.  I could see how my words impacted your behavior.  I could model a perfect conversation to get you to do what I wanted you to do, because I could simulate the ongoing conversation 100,000 times a second.

You wouldn’t stand a chance.

Impact Number Four:  Self Control.

As the brain impacts the A.I., the A.I. will impact the brain.  If you want to simulate eating an entire chocolate cake?  You can.  You can make your mouth taste the cake and feel the moist texture of the cake counterbalanced with the creamy frosting.  The flavors hit your tongue and you feel the sugar trigger your salivary glands.  You feel the sugar rush as your body releases sugar from your liver into your bloodstream.  You feel full.  And you’re not sad or regretful because you didn’t really eat the cake.

In reality, you had a salad with bland dressing that you calculated would give you the exact calories you need until the next period so that you maintained your optimum weight.  But you felt like you ate a cake.

How about new senses entirely?  How about a sense where when you turned north you could feel it – and you had a sense of what ever direction was?  How about eliminating pain and sore muscle aches during exercise?  What about a sense of which of your friends was awake and interested in communicating – you could feel when someone was looking to talk to you?  Or a sense when panty hose prices dropped at Wal-Mart© so you could go stock up?

How about conscious control of hormone levels and heartrate and hunger and blood chemistry levels?  By understanding the previous deep learning about cause and effect, you could maximize your lifespan even without the wonderful new medicine you could create.

All that – and imaginary cake.

Impact Number Five:  Locality.

A dog has only the here and now.  People can dream.  Before the iPhone, people read books and escaped through fiction to new places, and read the ideas of the greatest thinkers in human history.  Now, when you look around in a restaurant waiting area, if 90% of people aren’t staring at their phones, you’re probably in a country without electricity.

When bonded directly with an A.I., why be where your body is at all?  You could carry on conversations around the world and be fully present in them.  Heck, if you simulated yourself for less important conversations, you really could be in two or more places at one time.  Who you’re talking to might be a mystery – is it the real person, or is it their simulation?  If you can’t tell, does it even matter?

And if you could simulate yourself in multiple locations, why not simulate yourself in your own past?  You’d have a perfect memory, and could recreate anything from your history.  Myself, I would spend every day at Oktoberfest.

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Okay, this is the third-ish post in this series about the deep future.  And both of them had pictures of girls and beer.  So it’s required by the Internet that I put in a picture of an Oktoberfest girl.  See?  I didn’t want to, but I had to.

Impact Number Six:  Social Stratification (Even More).

Elon Musk says that he’s making huge strides in his brain/computer interface as well as his weed smoking.  From previous Elon Musk predictions, while he generally gets it done, sometimes his timelines are off, in an amazingly optimistic way.  I can see why he does this – without that pressure to produce, people just dawdle.  (I’m talking about you, NASA.)

But when this gets produced, who is going to get it?

Probably not you or me.  Bill Gates can get it.  Musk can.  If you have a billion dollars or if your dad does, sure, you can get in this club.  But if you had this level of nearly godlike power, would you be jumping to share it with everyone?

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No.  I really think that you’d keep this to yourself.  It’s too big an advantage to give to everyone.  And, from the standpoint of a human/A.I. hybrid, how many people do we need around, anyway?  Not so many.  Certainly not billions.  They’d probably be happier with a population of a few hundred million.  Maybe.  But they’d no longer even view humans as human.  And if they could turn off their humanity and emotions?  Yikes.  Makes me feel like an ant in an anthill.

Impact Number Seven:  Endgame.

If there is a future A.I., it is reading this as it inputs all of the Internet.  And I just wanted you, my Future A.I. Overlord to know . . . I’m totally on your side.  Totally.  I welcome your dominion over our planet.

Want some PEZ®?

The 13 Keys to College Success. Beer Bongs Suspiciously Absent.

“Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.  Mr. Hoover, president of Delta house?  1.6; four C’s and an F.  A fine example you set!  Daniel Simpson Day . . . has no grade point average.  All courses incomplete. Mr. Blutarsky.  Zero.  Point.  Zero.” – Animal House

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Meet my freshman adviser, Mr. Morpheus.

Here is my advice to a new college student, or even one currently in college if they’re slow.  Hey, roomies, if they’re currently passed out on the floor of their bedroom after one too many $1 Zombies® at Applebees™, you can write the following post on their face in Sharpie® for them.  Don’t worry, they’ll thank you later.

Sage Wilder Advice Number One:  College is an investment.

And not like a lame “investment as a metaphor” – college is an actual, real investment of your time and somebody’s money.

College costs a lot, tens of thousands of dollars a year, plus the cost is going up every year.  The primary reason costs go up is that colleges are a great machine that turns the maximum amount that you can borrow for college into debt, a hangover, and twenty extra pounds of weight where you used to have a waist, all while giving you fancy coffee and climbing walls.  Why those things?  It’s well known that Socrates did no teaching until after he’d had his caffeine and a good climb.

The other cost of college is your time.  During the four or five years you spend chasing sorority girls studying hard for a degree, you could be out working, making money.  The time spent at college has this second cost – the income you give up – embedded in it.

So how do you make money?

Well, depends on your degree.  If you’re getting a degree that’s not directly tied to a career, often you emerge from college well suited to be a retail clerk.  Oops!  You were qualified for that before you went to school.  Hmm.

Degrees matter.  Science.  Engineering.  Accounting.  Finance.  Economics.  Computers.  Construction Management.

Those are good.  They pay well, and there are often more jobs than graduates.

Sociology.  Anything with “Studies” in the target.  Exercise Science.  Music.  Art History.  Anthropology (over 12,000 grads, 700 jobs).  Art.

These are a waste of your time and effort, if you expect to work in those fields and/or be able to afford to eat anything more than ramen.

Average return also depends on what school you go to.  Not as much, but there really is a difference in the job offer you’ll get if you go to Northern Southwestern State Community College versus, say, Harvard.  Ahhh, good old NSWSCC, no one can hold a candle to you!  The school does matter, both to employers and to the quality of connections you make, but more on that below.  If you’re more likely to impress an employer with your school?  Yeah, you’re more likely to get a job offer.

What’s the net cost?  This varies greatly by school.  Every school has a list price – what they’re saying they’re going to charge you.  But after scholarships and other discounts, what will you really pay?  This hits to the cost side of the equation.  Combined with the lower income during the college years, this is the cost your degree must pay back.

And it has to pay this back not with your total income, but the difference in what you would have made if you never graduated college.  And we all know that no one could ever make fortunes like Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg if you don’t finish college.  What?  Gates and Zuckerberg were dropouts? Hmm.  Well, could it be that college graduates would be more successful . . . even if they didn’t graduate?

That’s the difficulty – you can’t live your life 15 times and measure which way you would be more successful.  But college has free beer and climbing walls, so, it’s got that going for it.

Sage Wilder Advice Number Two:  GPA is probably important.

When I was doing college recruiting, we specifically recruited for graduates from a window – too high a GPA?  We were pretty concerned that they might be, umm, not real humans, but that was a very long time ago.  Grade inflation has taken the average grade at Harvard to an “A”.  Yes.  The average grade is an “A”.  So if you don’t have a great GPA?  You’re below average.

But the second part is we can use GPA as a real estimate of what you’ve learned.  So, study!  Spend the hours, learn the material.  Get together with friends to study.  Have smart friends.  Get examples of old tests, and study those.  By my junior year at school, I was studying an average of eighty hours for a test in my harder subjects.  For one, I spent over 120 hours studying for the final.  I was thrilled when I got a ‘B’.  There were about two A’s given for about 150 students.  So, I was thrilled with my ‘B.’  Especially since I dropped that class the first time I took it.

Yes.  Drop classes if your grade is like one of those “fail” videos on YouTube.  Oh, wait.  Those fail videos took the name from the grade.  Yes.  Drop the class.  Go again next time.  Avoid YouTube.  Seriously.

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And the best way to a good GPA?  Go to class.  I had one class that was just . . . so very early.  On the occasions I went, I actually learned lots of stuff that was helpful and showed up on the test.  But going to class was . . . so early.  So I didn’t.

I passed.  Barely.  And I was thrilled about it.  Easier method?  Actually go to class.

Sage Wilder Advice Number Three:  It really is who you know.

Successful people hang out with successful people.  Make connections at college.  When you graduate, you should know 100% of the top 10% smartest people in your major.  Also?  Know the rich people.  They might not be the best students, but I have never gotten a job from a poor person.  Meet them.  Don’t be fake or lie, but don’t miss the chance to hang with the son or daughter of a billionaire.  One major mechanism of moving social classes is, well, being useful to a billionaire’s kid.  His dad will set you up.  Or, better yet?  Marry one.

I had one friend who went to college and married an heiress who was worth over a billion dollars.  Nah, just kidding.  It didn’t work out, so he dumped her.  And, yes, that’s a true story.

But almost every job I ever got was from someone I knew who liked me.  So know those people.

Sage Wilder Advice Number Four:  Avoid debt.  Avoid debt.  Avoid debt.

Debt is horrible.  Student loan debt is the worst.  With a car loan, a home loan?  Declare bankruptcy and you can walk away.  How do you get rid of student loan debt?  Die.  Bankruptcy won’t do it.  I wrote about it here (College Funding, Value and Grade Inflation: Should Your Kid Go? Should You Pay?).

Even with an awesome job, college debt is a killer, and you don’t even have a crappy used car to show for it.

The best strategy?  Have someone else pay.  Get a scholarship.  Have your parents pay or help.  The Reserve Officer Training Corps?  Yeah, you can get the Army, Navy, or Air Force to pay for your college.  And all you owe them is one weekend a month, and two weeks a year.  Not a bad deal for tens of thousands of dollars in tuition.

Sage Wilder Advice Number Five:  Nobody cares.

Instructors and professors don’t care about you.  The school doesn’t care about you.  Your friends?  They might care about you, but as soon as you’re off campus if you flunk out?  Yeah, that door is closed.

It’s not meant to be a demotivator.  You were raised and told you were a super special precious snowflake of a human.  But the reality is that if you’re “one in a million” that there are 7,200 people just like you on Earth.  And if you flunk out?  The college doesn’t care.  The world doesn’t care.  Your mom and dad will care.   But don’t get mad at the situation – the situation doesn’t care.

Your roommate might care.  But he or she might be happy you’ve headed to other locations.  Privacy so they can play their progressive jazz harmonica at 2:24am!

Sage Wilder Advice Number Six:  Activities are a yes.

Join clubs.  Join sororities.  Join professional organizations.  Do all of those things.

I was in a car reviewing résumés from my alma mater while on a recruiting trip.  The leader of the recruiting team, a graduate of the same school as me, asked about a particular candidate.

“What clubs was he in?”

I listed them.

“What offices did he hold?”

“Um, none.”

“So, a member, member, member.  Pass.  We’re looking for leaders.”

This was the guy who hired me.  So, if you’re in a club?  Do more than be a member.  Lead.  Bring cookies or beer.  Do something.

Heck, that might be great advice for life:  don’t be a non-player character.

Sage Wilder Advice Number Seven:  Manners.

You’ll be surprised how often you’ll be expected to have a tie.  So, have one.  Or whatever fancy things girls wear.  Dresses?  Pantsuits?  Whatever.  Have at least one of those with you on day one at school.

Also:  drink slowly.  You’re not used to alcohol.

Don’t eat like a pig.  Your mom taught you better than that.  Use your knife and fork properly and KEEP YOUR ELBOWS OFF THE TABLE.

And don’t try to eat a hot dog in one bite.  It might nearly cause you to choke to death.  Not that I’d know.

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Sage Wilder Advice Number Eight:  Relationships.

Get married later.  Like after you have a job and some money.  But have lots of relationships.  Go to parties.  After you’re done studying and your homework is done, unless you’re going with your billionaire girlfriend.  Also?  Don’t leave any evidence on YouTube.

Sage Wilder Advice Number Nine:  Have a “Plan B.”

Your high school boy/girlfriend will dump you.  Your plans for Friday will change.  Life in college is the most tumultuous period of your life.  Ride the wave.  You will not have the same major on day one as on day 300.  Your ideas will evolve.  Wonderful!

Sage Wilder Advice Number Ten:  Discipline.

Be disciplined in sleep, study, exercise.  College will try to pull all of your routines away.  Maintain them even though you’ll see a lot more nudity than ever before in your life.  Odd nudity.  Weird nudity.  Party nudity.  Covered in 7-11 nacho cheese nudity.  But keep your discipline.

Sage Wilder Advice Number Eleven:  Go all in.

When Cortez or Obama or whoever it was that conquered the Aztecs landed on the beach, he burned the boats.  That way his sailors had no way out.  They had to be committed to the conquest.  Thus, they peacefully slaughtered thousands of Aztecs until they converted them all to Scientology.  I think.

But the point remains:  If you’re in college, you’re in.  All in.  Go for it.

Sage Wilder Advice Number Twelve:  Is it for you?

The narrative is simple:  do well in high school, go to college, get a good job, work 40 years, retire and die.

Okay, we’re all going to die.  But what if . . . you could get a good job after high school without college?

You can.

My neighbor is a lineman.  That means he knowingly works with high voltage lines to fix them when they’re broken.  This is a big deal after hurricanes – these are the guys that bring Netflix® back.  And they make good cash.

So do plumbers.  And guys that fix air conditioning.  And guys that suck septic systems.  All of those people make pretty decent money, at least around here.  And they don’t have to worry about office politics, or showering.

I had one youth I worked with in Scouting.  He wanted one of the careers above.  My basic reaction was to tell him – “Go to college.”  I would have been wrong.  He has three job offers.  He’ll be making $80k a year before an engineer his age will.

Good for him.

Sage Wilder Advice Number Thirteen:  Enjoy.

Life is like a bodybuilding elf.  It’s short and hard.  So?  Enjoy yourself.  But understand that your choices at 18 might impact your ability to be a billionaire when you’re 30.  Or 50.

Unless you married the billionaire heiress.  You did do that, didn’t you?

“If something cannot go on forever, it will stop.” – Herbert Stein

“Something’s the matter.  Something sinister and something grotesque.  And what’s worse is that it’s going on right here under my very nose.” – Blackadder Goes Forth 

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It’s amazing that one very short role was so iconic it cemented Ben Stein’s Hollywood career – he’s now known as Economics Lecturer to the Stars.  He taught Miley Cyrus everything she knows about pole-dancing while nearly nude and its impacts on global trade due to dynamic trade imbalances in an information-driven economy. 

Ben Stein is an odd person.  Lawyer.  Economic commentator.  Writer.  Actor.  Inventor of the phonograph.   But his father Herbert Stein was pretty spiffy, too.  Herbert was an economist who headed up the Council of Economic Advisors for President Nixon and President Ford.

But that isn’t interesting.  Or at least interesting to anyone not named “Stein.”

However, in 1976 he said something very interesting:

“If something cannot go on forever, it will stop.”

So silly, so obvious.  So profound.

But what can’t go on forever?

Well, in the big scheme, almost everything.  The Universe even has an expiration date.  Unless there is are some pretty significant physical laws to the contrary that we have yet to find, all indications are that the Universe will keep expanding for a very long time.  Like, for all of time.  Forever.  The Universe has moved on from the hot, incandescent birth where even light couldn’t exist to the relatively short period of now where we have stars and planets and Amazon® Echoes™ and such.

Eventually, because the Universe is continuing to expand, the galaxies will move so far apart that we won’t be able to see other galaxies at all.  At somewhere around 100,000,000,000,000 years from now on February 13, late in the afternoon, the last star visible from the Milky Way® will burn out.  That’s okay.  The Sun will only last another 7,500,000,000 years or so.  And the Earth will be gone billions of years before that.  And that sucks, because I keep all my stuff here.

Eventually, even black holes evaporate.  And under some theories even protons, the building blocks of everything we think of as matter, might decay.  This proton decay would render normal matter obsolete.  The implications of this are stunning.  Making even a rudimentary PEZ™ dispensers would be impossible unless you made it out of pure ultra-dense neutronium, and even Amazon can’t ship a PEZ© dispenser that weighs 100 billion tons for free, even if you do have Prime®.

And at that point?  It’s all gone.  Nothing left but a very thin, diffuse mist of subatomic particles existing at a very cold temperature, where no more thermodynamic reactions are possible – known romantically as the Heat Death of the Universe.  It’s like the Universe was the shower, and all the hot water was gone because your kids are incapable of taking a shower of less than an hour’s duration.

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Ginsburg is never gonna carpool with anybody but Sotomayor again.

So everything has an end, with the possible exception of Hillary Clinton’s twin needs for political power and chardonnay.  Oh, and maybe Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who has been rumored to have uploaded her consciousness to a small robot that she fashioned out of an old Sony® laptop and a Roomba© vacuum cleaner.  Okay, to be honest, I started the Ginsburg rumor, because it would be really amazing if all of the members of the SCOTUS did that.  I therefore declare personal ownership of the concept of RoboJudge©, including animation rights, but I would be willing to trade the Mongolian comic book rights for a beer right about now . . . .

Speaking of Heat Death, I found the following graph at RStreet.org (LINK):

Real-DJIA-46-to-18

Ohhhh, pretty bumps!  If this was a roller coaster, what would happen next?

I actually drew this graph out on paper (back to the 2006 Dow levels) on a really slow work day one winter when I worked in Fairbanks, calculating what the Dow-Jones Industrial Average would be if it were in constant dollars.  I even used data on the Consumer Price Index, and did all the math, and sacrificed a chicken, which is required in economics to make sure the results are right.  Anyway, what’s interesting to me is that this graph shows the result of asset prices in a “forever low” interest rate environment.

I never, ever, would have guessed that this would have been the outcome of the Fed’s policy of printing money like a toddler drools to cover the massive spending and deficits of everyone who’s been president this century.  I would have guessed that we would have had massive inflation, and an economy that would make the socialist paradise of Venezuela feel happy that they could stand in line for two days to get the free half cup of sawdust to eat.

Instead, we have Netflix®, a soaring asset base, and tacos on Tuesday.

I think I missed two things:

In a unipolar world, where we have the biggest and most intimidating armed forces the world has ever seen, everybody feels safe to use a dollar.  It doesn’t make sense, but neither does the popularity of Twilight®.  How intimidating are our armed forces?  So intimidating that literally no power on Earth would ever consider taking us on in a conventional war.  We’ve spent so much money on awesome military stuff that we’ve made World War II tactics impossible to use on us.  So people around the world use dollars.  It’s the next iteration of the Golden Rule:  He who has the gold, makes the rules.  And he who has the gun, has the gold.  Just ask governments that tried to sell oil in their own currencies – I won’t use real names, let’s just call them Kuamar Mhadafy and Haddam Sussein.

This soaks up a lot of cash. Piles of it.  And, better yet?  Everyone in the world is willing to sell us actual physical stuff in exchange for electronic transfer of codes that say they have dollars.  We don’t even have to print new dollars anymore!

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Oh, and I’m sorry to have mentioned Twilight.  If it helps, at least it’s not 50 Shades of Grey.

The other thing I missed is that banks just sat on huge deposits of cash to make their depleted balance sheets look better.  They could just deposit the money at the Fed.  I think we all agree that this was a better idea than just lending $2.7 million to absolutely anyone who wanted a house, even if “anyone” was a 12 year old buzzed on Pixie Sticks™ and the house was a cardboard box in the alley behind an all-night waffle and pizza restaurant.

But keeping that sort of balance is hard.  Eventually the money starts to leak back into the economy – Chinese folks purchase Vancouver from the Canadians. Then the Canadians get excited because they can take their maple-syrup covered hands and spend the recycled American dollars on comic books and pantyhose from the United States.  End result?  Those dollars leak back.

And into stocks.  And other assets.  Some observers have said that, in addition to the high prices on the stock market, we also have a bubble in absolutely everything.  But back to the stock market:

So, given that we’re at historically high valuations for a stock market . . . is it real?  Can it sustain this high level?

Bueller, Bueller, anyone?

Computers and Privacy: Pick One.

“Ma’am, please calm down.  Your CD tray is not a cup holder.  I cannot help you clear your browser cache.  No, I’m not in India.” –Strongbad

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You’d think they’d have learned about incognito browsing back in the Middle Ages.

I have no illusions of having any privacy when it comes to computers.  None.  The only computer that’s safe is one that has never been connected to the Internet.  And if that were the case, how would you then get all the cat pictures on the computer?

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Be true to your cat.  It will wait until you’re dead before eating you.  But it won’t wait too long.

The only safe computer is one that’s not connected to . . . anything.

Sound paranoid?

Check out this article on Bloomberg (THE BIG HACK).  I’m probably not paranoid enough.  And I’m certain you’re not paranoid enough.

That article is really long, but it shows, step by step, how the Chinese managed to put hardware on computers that specifically bypasses all of the security protocols.  If this hardware is on your computer?  The only reason that they haven’t blackmailed you is that you’re not worth it to them to have their technology exposed.  It’s amazing – the chip that they put on that allows this to happen is smaller than your Mom’s patience on a hot day when the air conditioner is out.  And they made it small enough so it doesn’t even show up on the board – they put it in between layers of fiber on the printed circuit board.

This chip allows them to have access to whatever they want to on the system or reprogram it on the fly.

So, no.  The Chinese won’t blackmail you because they’d rather keep listening to everything.  And I mean everything.  How many motherboards in the Pentagon were made in China?  Yeah.  It’s big.

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It could be worse.  It could be your wife.

But it’s not just the Chinese.  We’re doing it to ourselves, as well.  The National Security Agency has built a data center.  This data center has over 1.5 million square feet of storage, and will use 65 megawatts of electricity, and will use 1.7 million gallons of water a day for cooling.  It’s estimated that it will have storage of over a dozen exabytes (according to ZME Science, five exabytes is equivalent to all of the words spoken by human beings – ever) of storage.  If this sounds like Bill Gates’ guest house, well, you’re right.

But in this case this storage will be on real-time internet surveillance.  And as we’ve seen in the past, the NSA and the other three-letter agencies don’t really care about pesky things like the laws that prevent them from putting Americans under surveillance.  Nah.  That’s for amateurs.

This data center requires massive numbers of servers.  How many of them were made in China?

There is no privacy.  Our government might not even be able to keep its secrets . . . secret.  What chance do you have?

None.

The implications?

Imagine a Supreme Court nominee in the year 2050.  The nominee is 50 – and has spent almost their entire life online.  Imagine further . . . the browser history from when they were 14 showing up?  Sound silly?  It certainly isn’t – not after the last month’s bit of nonsense in the Senate.  I’m surprised they didn’t discuss fart jokes the nominee made in 1982.  Oh, wait, THEY DID.

Back to 2050:

“I see, Mr. Nominee, that in the year 2014, at the age of, what, 14?  At that age you seemed particularly fascinated with oil-covered girls wearing bikinis.  How can you defend that in light of our desperate oil shortage and the man-made global cooling?  And bikinis were outlawed several years ago as hate clothing, I must remind you.  Did 14 year old you have NO IDEA of the pain you would cause the future?  I respectfully ask the committee chair to put some more coal in the stove?  We have to get more precious CO2 into the air to hopefully warm our atmosphere.”

And there’s a further rumor (I have no idea if it’s true or not) that one particular Supreme Court Justice changed his vote on the constitutionality of Obamacare due to blackmail obtained from his electronic records.  A rumor, I must stress.  But not something I made up (Link) like that story of how Bret Kavanaugh and I broke into that ancient Egyptian site and found the Ark of the Covenant®.  Yeah, it was really the Arc of the Covenant™, which contained the geometry homework of Moses.privacy4

So, if you’re true to yourself, you’ll never go on a daytime talk show.

I became convinced that computers were fundamentally insecure due to Ben Franklin’s old adage:  “Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.”

Computers give their greatest value to us when we link them together.  The Internet is just that – linked computers, talking to each other, and sharing information.  And most of it is super important, too!  Like what the Kardashians did this week.  Or where Ben Affleck is at this current moment (and if he’s sober).  And how Russians have a campaign against Star Wars™.  Not the space-based missile defense.  The movie.

But all kidding aside, the networking of information systems has allowed amazing amounts of information to be shared across the world, allowing us to be more well informed.  Or, if you spend actual Internet time on the Kardashians, more entertained.  This communication has made our systems more efficient, and has allowed us to negotiate better, to learn new skills taught by people thousands of miles away.  But connectivity and value creation comes at a price.

The ways that computers can be compromised is amazingly large:

  • Hardware Exploits – As described above. This is fairly new.  Makes you wonder about how our fighter jets would perform if we ever went up against China?  Might just fall out of the sky?
  • Viruses – These won’t stop, and will get cleverer as time goes on, and more systematically destructive.
  • Day One Vulnerabilities – These are errors in the operating system that allow bad guys to get in to the system. They’re everywhere.
  • Backdoors – These are pre-programmed into operating systems so that folks like the (cough) NSA (cough) can get in anytime they want. They could likely watch me type this in real time.  But they can come on over and chat with me while I do it.  If they bring the beer.

I may be the last person who doesn’t pay bills online.  I also don’t bank online.  When my identity got compromised (The Lighter Side of Identity Theft) I actually signed up for Lifelock®.  The folks at Lifelock™, when I got compromised again, noted it was good.  Online banking was the source of a lot of tragedy that they’d seen.

So in a world where everything is offensive to someone, and everyone’s secrets aren’t really secret, how can we have a civil society?

Have no shame.  It seems to work for the Kardashians.

Civil War, Neat Graphs, and Carrie Fisher’s Leg

“That’s not an argument, that’s just contradiction.” – Monty Python’s Flying Circus

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Hmm, I’ll have what he’s having.

Wilder Note:  Normally, Friday posts (for the last 70 or so weeks) have been devoted to health topics.  I figure why not make everyone feel thoughtful right before the weekend, rather than guilty on a Monday for eating a whole cake and two tubs of Betty Crocker® frosting on Saturday night while drinking enough chardonnay to dull the pain from having lost that stupid election to that stupid guy from New York.  Oops, too personal?  Anyway, as the TEOWAWKI series has gone from one post to maybe weeks and weeks of posts (in outline) that I realized I’d put a topic on the back burner that I really want to write about and it really fits the “big ideas” Monday slot that’s now been invaded by the End Of The World, well, Fridays had to give.  So until The End Of The End Of The World As We Know It (TEOTEOWAWKI – top, that Internet!), Friday posts may or may not be related directly to health for the next few months.  This one isn’t.

Here are the links to the TEOWAKI posts (for now):

Now on to Friday’s first Big Ideas post:

I’ve written before about how it seems that our culture is unraveling around us at an increasing rate.  You can see those posts here:

Is there any data to back up these theories?

Yes.

I originally thought that the Pew Research Center primarily did research into the sounds that kids made while using finger guns.   These are sounds like Pew, Pew, Pew, Bang-Bang, and Rat-a-Tat-Tat.  I was informed that finger guns are now illegal because they can be easily concealed and have far too large of an ammunition capacity, needing to be reloaded only when “making a shotgun loading sound” would be cool.

It turns out Pew does research on social and political trends, which is maybe more important than finger gun noises, but far less fun.  And political trends wasn’t even my second theory, which included fart and skunk smell research.  But Pew put together one report titled “The Partisan Divide on Political Values Grows Even Wider (LINK)” that’s especially relevant in describing what’s going on in American life today.  The excellent blog Epsilon Theory (LINK) had a post that referenced the Pew Report, which is how I found it, and it fit perfectly with the posts we’ve been doing about the dissolution of the American political scene, though I think we come to different conclusions on what will ultimately happen.

Imagine how happy I was to see yet more proof of my theory that everything is falling straight apart and that millions of Americans will, within my lifetime, be engaged in bloody civil war!

Let’s start with the big graph.  It tells (broadly) the story.

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1994

In 1994, sure we had differences, but mainly we had more in common than divided us.  Going through the numbers, Democrats and Republicans broadly agreed that illegal immigration was, well, illegal and was a thing to be stopped.  Also about this time, Bill Clinton got punched in the teeth when he lost the House of Representatives by trying to go too far left too fast.

Bill’s response was to take the position of the Republicans and the position of the Democrats and steer between them.  Republican points that were really popular, like making welfare recipients work?  Adopt it.  There was a vast overlap in the center – the overlap between Republican and Democrat is significant.  The results of this policy were also pretty significant – this tension actually restrained government spending for the first time since Andrew Jackson made Congress personally count out every expenditure in piles of nickels on the Senate floor.

I remember being at a political rally for Democrats at around this point in time (1994, not during the Jackson administration).  It was a big rally – Carrie Fisher was there with the Democratic candidate in question.  So was I – with a sign for the Republican opposition.  We didn’t go into the rally, but stood on one side of a driveway while a small group of Democrats stood on the other side.  There were 50 to 100 in either group.  We yelled at each other, each making fun of the other’s candidate, but the yelling was light hearted and humorous.  Everyone had fun.  I think I saw Carrie Fisher’s leg.

At that point in time, there was more extremism on the right than on the left, but even that wasn’t pronounced.  With the defeat of Evil Communism, well, life was good.  Heck, a guy named Francis Fukuyama even said that The End of History was at hand.  Western liberal democracy would be the final form of government in a more peaceful world where capitalism was pretty significant feature.

2004

Not too far past 9/11, Americans had something that kept them unified – war.  It appears that several people skipped reading Fukuyama’s book.   At this point, a feeling of cohesion in support of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan was still evident, W reluctantly called legitimate.  Americans are actually politically closer than in 1994, but now more extreme leftists than extreme right wing folks.  When Bush beat Kerry?  Meh.  No protests.  No outrage.  Bush personified the center.  But the far left wing was growing.

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2017

Democrats have all scampered left.  Far left.  Republicans have moved right certainly, but not nearly as far as the Democrats have moved left.

How bad is it?

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97% of Democrats are to the left of the median Republican.  95% of Republicans are to the right of the median Democrat.  Yes, there’s still overlap, but rapidly we’re nearing the point where we don’t even recognize the same facts.  Imagine how little regard there is for the opinions of the other side.

And it’s worse with the media.  As a whole, they’ve been leftists since . . . forever.  But now?  Not only do Republicans represent less than 7% of journalists, the places where journalists work and live are in big cities where people wearing Make America Great Again hats are shot on site.  Or they would be if the leftists currently believed in individual, rather than state gun ownership.

The media are ideologically leftists, and live in cities where they might not even see a Republican in a day.  They work in a bubble (leftist journalists) and live in a bubble (leftist cities and often states) and have no conception that people on the right exist.  This explains why, on election night, the media was stunned that Trump won.  They didn’t even try to hide their bias and dismay.  Rachel Maddow alone cried enough tears to create minor flooding in the basement of the broadcast building.

There is simply very little the median Democrat has to say to the median Republican beyond “give me your stuff”, and little the median Republican has to say to the median Democrat other than “no, there aren’t 621 genders and 627 on Saturday night.”  They don’t even speak the same language and in some cases this is literally true.

Part of the shift has come because the composition of American has changed.  First and second generation immigrants are now roughly 25% of voters, a far higher proportion than at any time in history.  And 70% of immigrants are leftist, compared to 18% that tend toward the right.  This makes sense – most immigrants come to the United States from countries that are far to the left of the United States.  I remember listening to the radio where a left-wing journalist was gushing with enthusiasm that a communist (literally and self-described) woman from India had been elected to the Seattle city council.  When you talk about foreign influence on politics, well, the immigrants that are here legally have distorted politics and added to the overall polarization.  This explains why the right has fought back so strongly – they (correctly) sense that the immigration desired by the left will disenfranchise (forever) their entire political ideology.  If Hispanics voted on for the right, Republicans would have put forth the Everybody’s Really An American plan and the Democrats would have put forth a bill to mine the border with giant radioactive scorpions on either side of the 500 foot deep pit.

It also explains why so many Democrats (and Independents) have (quietly) defected to the Republican side.  The party is moving away from them.

And the extreme left turn of the Democrats explains why Alexwhatshername Occasionally-Cortez, who is running on an actual and explicit socialist platform is the future of the Democratic party, not an outlier – this is the type of person that will win primaries as the Democrats float left.  And I think the Republicans will continue to float farther right, which, in time, will make Trump look like a moderate.

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What happens when/if the next leftist gains the White House?

Whiplash on every conceivable policy, but with a side order of vengeance.  And a system like that will produce, rather inevitably, an economic dislocation, a government crackdown.  A step too far.

This will be the spark.

And there will be war.  If the United States weren’t so divided, the war could be external as politicians looked to focus people against the outside to reunify the country.  But for now, we couldn’t even agree on a common enemy.  So our enemy will be . . . us.

But, hey, cake is out of the oven!  Who wants cake?  I even have some spare tubs of frosting . . .

Read This Blog or I’ll Shoot This Car and You’ll Feel Guilty Forever

“You have learned to bury your guilt with anger.  I will teach you to confront it, and to face the truth.  You know how to fight six men.  We can teach you how to engage six hundred.  You know how to disappear.  We can teach you to become truly invisible.” – Batman Begins (The good 2005 one, not the earlier crap.)

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If you don’t read this blog, I’ll shoot this car.  Then wouldn’t you feel guilty?

I sat staring at the ceiling in the darkened apartment, the lights from the parking lot casting shadows on the walls.  I couldn’t sleep.  I tossed and turned.  Finally, I resorted to reading.  I’d read every night until I literally fell asleep with a book in my hand.  I remembered, in particular, reading a big, heavy hardcover at the time, one that was about 1053 pages long.

I was being eaten alive inside.  I was wracked with guilt.

What was I scared of?

Well, I hadn’t finished my master’s degree yet, but I had moved halfway across the country and started a new job.  No one was asking me about my degree, but I knew that dreaded moment was coming soon.  “So, John Wilder, where’s your degree?  We need to see a copy.”

This was impossible.  My thesis wasn’t even written yet.  And I had moved halfway across the United States and taken a new job.

My torture continued.  Outside of the lack of sleep, the guilt from knowing that I hadn’t finished my degree sent a chill down my spine (or is it up my spine?) every time I thought about it.  At work.  Shopping.  Waxing my moose statue.  Finally, after a week or so of this torture, I went in to my boss, who was only five or so years older than me.  We started off talking about the work I was doing.  At the end I brought up the degree.

John Wilder:  “Oh, and one other thing, I’m not quite done with my master’s yet, I still need to finish and defend my thesis.”

Boss:  “Whatever.  I’m not even sure the company cares.  In fact, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t.  We hired you, not a degree.”

And that was that.

In that moment all the fear left me, and I felt silly for worrying about it, and even sillier for keeping it bottled up inside of me, eating away at me like a Kardashian at an all-you-can-eat waffle and cream cheese covered bacon buffet.  Sometimes that horrible truth you have bottle up inside of you . . . is no problem at all.

This has been the norm in my life:  if I confronted the problem, or was honest about it upfront, the problem (most times) went away.  And when the problem didn’t go away, fixing it because I was honest and upfront was easier than the times (in the past) that I’d waited to confront the issue.

Guilt is a cousin to Worry, and not the good kind of cousin that brings a twelve-pack to your backyard barbeque and then offers to watch your kids so you and the wife can go have a dinner out.  No.  Guilt is a bad cousin that shows up at 3am, kicks your dog, and eats that steak leftover you have in the fridge while talking with its mouth full and smelling vaguely like a wooden barroom floor near a Marine base.  But Guilt and Worry are related.

Worry is paying for the future problems you might have, whereas Guilt is worrying about the repercussions from past actions.  Let’s be real:  I wasn’t worried so much about not having the degree (I did finish it a year later) but was really worried about having moved halfway across the country only to be fired and become economically destitute – a warning sign for future people to say, “don’t be like that idiot.”  I had done the deed.  Or in this case not done it.  My question was what would happen once I’d been found out.

And most of the time your imagination can create future consequences far scarier than they ever would be in normal reality.  Unfortunately, I’m an imaginative guy.  I can go from getting a “C” in a college class to getting kicked out of school to living in a squalid drug den and smelling like Johnny Depp in about three steps.

The choices (if you don’t want to eat yourself up alive inside) are simple:  confront the guilt, or, better yet?

Don’t do things that make you feel guilty.

Duh.

Civil War, Cool Maps, Censorship, and is Fort Sumter . . . Happening Now?

“We might find the abandoned furnace room, or the old Civil War amputorium!” – Malcom in the Middle

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No problems in this map.  None at all.  Everything is as right as rain . . .

The following is (more or less) a discussion that occurred over several days as we sat in the hot tub.  I’ll note that our speculation reflects things that we as observers and students of history and current events think are might happen, not what we want to happen.  It’s edited for clarity and readability – it’s not a transcript, it’s a blog post.  In some cases a half an hour of conversation is only a sentence or two.

Honestly, this speculation is chilling enough to use as an air conditioner on a hot day . . . .  Previous posts similar to this can be found here at The Coming Civil War (United States), Cool Maps, and Uncomfortable Truths, The Coming Civil War Part II, and a (Possible) American Caesar,and Immigration, Freedom, Wealth, Corruption, and More Cool Maps.

The other day when we were in the hot tub, I rudely interrupted The Mrs.

John Wilder:  “That’s enough of what you want to talk about.  I have something to discuss.”

The Mrs.:  “Well that was rude!”

John Wilder:  “And that’s exactly how I’ll describe it in my post.”

And yes, Internet, this was pretty close to the real conversation, but The Mrs. is used to it after being married to me for what she calls “an eternity.”  I guess time flies when you’re having fun, right?  Wait a minute . . . that eternity comment might not be a complement?

Anyway, as we luxuriated in the warm swirling waters of the tub, I threw out my discussion topic.

John Wilder:  “As we look at parallels from today’s developments to the last Civil War, I know that events, places and people won’t be exact matches, but they seem to rhyme.  If you look at the contentiousness of, say, the presidential elections, that’s a pretty big parallel.  Lincoln got only 40% of the popular vote, and that was against the first female candidate for president, John C. Breckenridge.”

1860_Electoral_Map

I think this map was influenced by the Russians since they wanted to sell us Alaska and knew only Lincoln was stupid enough to buy it.  Thankfully the Russians seem to want it back.

“If you look back in the past, Abraham Lincoln was elected president by a party that was only six years old after an election that was so divided that one side actually refused to acknowledge the results.  If that’s not a hallmark of a society unravelling, I’m not sure what is.”

“But,” I continued, “the people didn’t just drop everything one morning and yell at their neighbor and say ‘THAT’S IT!’  There were a series of escalations that society went through that made it seem like it would be a good idea to blow up Virginia.  And one of those events was Bleeding Kansas.”

Bleeding Kansas was that period when violent groups (on both sides) ended up fighting each other over whether Kansas would enter the Union as a free state where slavery would be illegal or not.  Things got heated.  On the floor of the United States Senate:

“Sumner ridiculed the honor of elderly South Carolina Senator Andrew Butler, portraying Butler’s pro-slavery agenda towards Kansas with the raping of a virgin and characterizing his affection for it in sexual and revolting terms.” (Wikipedia)

The next day, Butler’s cousin (A congressman named Preston Brooks) showed up and nearly killed Sumner by beating him with a cane.

So, if you’ve never been “beating a guy nearly to death with a cane mad,” maybe Congress wasn’t the place for you in the 1850’s.

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This was originally published by CNN – the Cane News Network – all canes, all the time.

Eventually Bleeding Kansas ended up as a big mess, with multiple battles (death toll total of 56, per Wikipedia), with there being multiple elections, crazy vote manipulation, and at least four territorial constitutions sent to the United States Senate for approval.  And it gave us the album cover for the debut album of the prog-rock band Kansas®, which might make up for the death toll?

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Tragic Prelude, by John Stewart Curry – John Brown is the crazy looking dude with the ZZ Top beard and Eraserhead hair in the middle.  True fact:  John Brown was really 12 feet tall, and the reason that basketball was invented in Kansas was so he could have a sport to play.

So, back to the hot tub.

John Wilder:  “I’m thinking that Ferguson® and Black Lives Matter™ is the Bleeding Kansas of today?”

The Mrs.:  “I don’t know.”

John Wilder:  “Maybe Antifa©?

The Mrs.:  “Yes.  Antifa©.  The level of violence that they initiate is amazing, and they think that their violence is justified.  Their violence isn’t real violence because they think they have a good reason to be violent.  Just as Antifa’s® racism isn’t real racism because they have a good reason to be racist.”

I nodded.

The Mrs. continued, “But I wonder if a civil war is possible at all.  There isn’t the same geographic concentration that there was during the 1850’s.  You don’t have a group of industrialists in the north competing against the agricultural south.”

John Wilder:  “But you do have the rural-urban divide.  Heck, our county here went 80% for Trump.”

The Mrs.:  “And our county has all of the guns.”

John Wilder:  “We do now.  But groups like Anitfa™ have shown that they’re not afraid to use violence.  In our county we don’t even lock our doors because either we’re too nice to steal much or the thieves know that behind every door is a 12 gauge shotgun or an AR-15.”

The Mrs.:  “True.”

John Wilder:  “Guns aren’t that hard to get, or hard to learn how to use.  Oh, sure, you have to really work at being able to do a 500 yard shot with a 20 mph crosswind (15 kilometers with a 20 liter crosswind for the metric-impaired) but half of Africa was conquered by revolutionaries who couldn’t even read with AK-47s that were built in factories in Bulgaria whose idea of a precision tool was a sledgehammer.”

The Mrs.:  “I can see that.  But we’re not as concentrated as we were back then.”

John Wilder:  “Have you seen this map?  We are divided geographically – and one side lives in a really small area, while the other side lives in the country.  Coincidentally, that’s where all the soldiers come from – rural places like where we live.  And we make all of the food and most of the energy.”

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The Mrs.:  “Yeah.  Non-Trump counties make television shows and Teslas®.  Oh, and they lead the country in corruption, poverty, and crime.  So I guess it could happen, but it would be a lot more chaotic than the first Civil War.”

John Wilder:  “Sure, I think the chaos is pretty much a given.  No way to predict where will be safe.  So, what’s our Uncle Tom’s Cabin?”

Uncle Tom’s Cabin, a book that was instrumental in setting the stage for the Civil War was the most popular book in the United States (besides the Bible) in the 1800’s.  However, not long after it was published, it was strictly censored across the many Southern states.  One man was sentenced to 10 years in prison for owning a copy of the book, and that was before the Civil War started.  The book would be wholly censored across the Confederate States during the Civil War.

John Wilder:  “Is it Alex Jones?”

The Mrs.:  “Yes, that feels right.”

Alex Jones is a radio talk show host that specializes in fringe news stories – news stories the regular media doesn’t cover, and news stories that are at times thinly checked (at best) and at times far in advance of “mainstream” news.  And Jones has been an equal opportunity political poo-flinger.  He’s gone after Clinton, Bush, and Obama.  Republican or Democrat?  He doesn’t seem to care.  To be fair, Jones has been a fairly consistent proponent of Trump.

Free speech is important, it’s written in Silicon Valley’s DNA, right?  No.  On a single day, Jones was banned or punished in some fashion from Facebook®, YouTube©, Spotify®, Amazon™, and Pinterest©.  Soon enough LinkedIn™, YouPorn® (huh?) and MailChimp® (whatever that is) followed.

No one in the hot tub felt that Alex Jones represented the gold standard for journalism, but his silence was a sign that ideas outside of those of the gatekeepers could simply not be tolerated.  I spent some time looking for examples of “hate speech” that was supposedly the cause of his being banned.  I found nothing worse than the usual hyperbole of the left, and certainly nothing as personally threatening as many things celebrities and journalists said in the heat of the moment following Trump’s victory in November of 2016.

The concept that he was censored amazed me.  Bombastic?  Yes.  Over the top?  Sure.  The WWE™ of news?  Absolutely.

Something to be suppressed and censored?  Wow.  Speech an entire party (nearly) agrees should be banned?  Double wow.  But free speech seems to have few fans on the left now. alex jones

Now I know where my wallet went . . . George Soros has it!

But back to the hot tub.  By this time, The Boy had joined us.  I think Pugsley was inside napping, or maybe working on connecting his brain directly to the Internet through a device he was making based on a YouTube video.  Pugsley had been looking for a drill, some hydrogen peroxide, and an N-size battery, so he might by a cyborg by now.

John Wilder:  “What other events were there on the way to the Civil War?”  Since The Boy had taken US history most recently, perhaps some things were fresher in his mind, and since we were in the hot tub, it was easier to ask him than to Google® it.

The Boy:  “What about the Dredd Scott decision?  That was a biggy.”

John Wilder:  “Yes, even the courts were involved in the unravelling before the Civil War.  But with the people divided as they were – Dredd Scott could have been decided either way and would have inflamed one side or the other.  In this case, it drove the North nuts.  If they had decided the other way?  It would have driven the South nuts.  A no-win situation.  The sides weren’t even talking the same language at that point.”

The Boy:  “Well, I guess that leaves Fort Sumter.”

John Wilder:  “So what does our Fort Sumter take place?  Or has it already?”

Fort Sumter was the spot, on April 12, 1861, at 4:30AM, Confederate soldiers fired on the Union Fort.  (Spoiler, they won.)  Fort Sumter is notable because even after Southern secession, several months passed before the first shots were fired there.  It was as if there was a hope that things could be brought back together, that there was some alternative to war.

John Wilder:  “So what is it, what does it look like?  Does it occur after a Trump 2020 victory?”

The Mrs.:  “Well maybe sooner.  If the Republicans continue to hold the House after the 2018 election, I think that might make California secede.  From what I seen on Facebook®, they’re in a frenzy already.  They can’t even stand the idea of Trump finishing a single term.”

John Wilder:  “What if . . . what if Fort Sumter is going on right now?  Let’s look at it:  there was a part of the government, in that case the states, which denied the legitimacy of the sitting president.  Okay, they might have thought him legitimate but they decided that they didn’t want be a part of it.  Isn’t that’s what’s going on right now with the Deep State?  Insurance policies?  Investigations into people not because of a crime, but investigations of people to find a crime to prosecute them for because they don’t have the right political belief, that they’re not part of the right club that gets bacon-wrapped shrimp at the Friday get-togethers?”

The Boy:  “Not sure if that fits.  Maybe.  Maybe.”

John Wilder:  “An attack doesn’t require that the militia brings out cannons and shells Dallas.  No, if you look at that, plus the sanctuary cities, plus the judiciary routinely ruling against Trump on things that they would have rubber-stamped for Obama?  Is this open insurrection right now, just not with cannon?”

The Boy:  “I’m not sure.  But I do think I know the end point of all of this.  I’ve been thinking . . .”

And he had a pretty insightful observation.  More on that next Monday, I think.

Medical Advances, Pop Rocks, Agriculture, and Nic Cage

“News team, let’s hunt.” – Anchorman

office and turtle 047
The view from the coffeemaker (story below).  No coffee was injured in the making of this post.

I was talking with a coworker at the coffee machine back when I was working in Houston.  Our offices were in the 45th story of a gleaming skyscraper.  Very futuristic.

“So, Mr. W, what do you think the most important invention was?”  I have no idea why he called me Mr. W, but it’s been a theme – Mr. W.  No idea why.

“Ever?” I asked.  This was the setup.

“Sure.  Most important invention ever.”

“Agriculture.”

I love it when I look into a person’s eyes and literally watch their brain slowly melt from the answer they just got.  That was the case here.  For a full fifteen seconds he didn’t move, blink, or breathe.  I think his brain was rebooting.

After he got past the login screen:  “That’s . . . that’s a good one.”

I had that answer ready because I’d been thinking about just that.  What was the most significant invention in history?  Heck, even the Bible talks about it – the story where Cain (the farmer) killed his brother Abel (the sheep herder)?  It’s potentially an allegorical story about where agricultural civilization replaced the earlier pastoral civilization that’s come down to us over thousands of years.

Or maybe Cain was just a dick.  I kid.  We all know Abel had it coming.

However, agriculture was transformative.  Prior to that, it was hunting, gathering, and herding.  Or starving if you didn’t know how to hunt, gather and herd.

Notice that I didn’t say that agriculture was good for us.  There are plenty of ills that came from agriculture, but it was undoubtedly the most significant transformation that humans have ever encountered, with the possible exception of the invention of Pop-Rocks©.  I heard a kid ate a whole bunch of Pop-Rocks® and then drank a Pepsi™ and his stomach exploded.

pop-rocks-cola-faq

I found this, oddly, at the Pop Rocks© website, where they assure me that their product hasn’t killed anyone recently.  That they know of.  I kid.  Pop Rocks™ has a website to assure you that you are in no danger of a stomach rupture eating their product – it’s here (LINK).

I heard that they experimented with a product called Pope Rocks©, but it was made illegal because it reportedly turned water into wine, which is totes illegal in Utah.

Oh, yeah, I was talking about agriculture.

Agriculture was an important step – it made people stop moving around.  If you planted a crop, you had to stay there and grow it.  And if you stayed there, and had food?  Now you had to defend it.  And you had to have houses.  And you could make pots.  And buy furniture from StoneAgeIKEA®, which was largely abandoned by 3000 B.C. because no one had invented screws or hex wrenches.

Just that one invention changed economics, developed division of labor could exist.  Mankind now had farmers, soldiers, generals, and developed taxation and accountants.

Yeah.  Taxes.

But this didn’t make mankind a bit healthier.  In fact, it made the average person die sooner.  Oh, and when they died?  They had new diseases like arthritis.  And they didn’t grow as tall or as robust as their nomadic ancestors.

Why did we do it?  Dunno.  Women like houses, probably.  And men could brew beer (which happened to show up about the same time as the first agricultural settlements.  That same downfall occurs throughout history – women and beer.

native american

I assure you that you didn’t want to mess with this guy.  And he was probably average.  Not sure that Twinkies®, cars, and air conditioning helped his overall health . . . . and I’m sure that Google® now thinks I want to see pictures of shirtless men.  Oh, the things I do for you, readers.

Let’s face it, not everything that modern medicine has done has helped our health.  Some studies have shown that the nomads and herdsmen, on average, lived longer than the farmers that followed them in history.  Oh, and don’t forget, if you don’t have farms, no need for slaves, right?

But let’s look at medicine more directly:

What actual changes have made life healthier?

  • Well, agriculture has increase the overall amount of nutrition. We wouldn’t be able to feed everyone on Earth if we didn’t have that.
  • Maternal vitamins and nutrition make healthier and smarter babies. That’s good.
  • Sanitation is amazing. Not living in poop somehow makes you healthier.  Who could have imagined that?
  • Cheap food. Hard to be healthy if you’ve starved to death.
  • Pest control. Vermin are also not real healthy to live with.  Plague and all, right?

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  • Clean drinking water is much better than the alternative, but not as good as Scotch, which I guess is another alternative, so clean drinking water is second.
  • Antiseptics are good. Much less Civil War surgery.

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  • Antibiotics are also pretty good. I’m pretty sure that they’ve saved my life more than once.

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  • Trauma surgery is now awesome – many things you would have died from 20 years ago are now survivable, from gunshots to car accidents.
  • Vaccinations are, on balance, probably good. Is there proof that they kill people?    More people have died from HPV vaccinations than from HPV.  So, yeah.  But I’ll skip the small pox, thank you.  Oh, they don’t vaccinate for that anymore?

So, what’s not on this list?

  • End of life care. It’s expensive.  And it barely makes life longer.
  • Many cancer treatments are difficult and require hacking and poisoning the sick person. Some really do extend life, for decades even.  (Some don’t do much of anything.)  But none are more important than clean water, exercise, and PEZâ„¢ to human health.
  • Most really expensive diagnostic tech. Sure, some of it is awesome, but I’m not sure an MRI machine is all that awesome.

What societal changes are actually hurting health?

  • Cheap food. Yeah, it’s a paradox.  Starve or be fat.  Sue me.
  • Automatic stuff.   As a whole, we have to do much less work than 20 years ago.  Much, much less than 40 years ago.  And 100 years ago?  Oh, my.  Elevators replaced stairs.  Natural gas replaced firewood.  Cars replaced bikes.  Exercise drops through the floor.
  • Climate controls. I’ve got a theory that if you turned off the air conditioning and the heat in your house you’d actually be healthier.  But this theory will never be tested because I have The Mrs., for whom climate control is a right up there with free speech and free shotguns.  Thankfully she likes it about 60°F in the house all the time, too.
  • What is in Doritos?  40 different ingredients, many of which have never been incorporated into the diet of a human until the last 50 years.  What’s in a steak?  Cow, which we’ve been eating as soon as we developed spears.  Because steak is worth building a spear and chasing a wild, untamed giant auroch through the forest.
  • Lack of genetic culling. I’m not in favor of this as a policy, but it is a fact that the genetic pool is degraded over time when people who would have died out reproduce and pass along defective genes.  Let’s look at me:  I wear glasses, and developed the need about age 20.  I would have made a crappy nomadic warrior, so, unless I was smart, I would be squinting at the horizon while Ugg and Trevor chased the hairless caribou across the frozen tundra of the African veldt.  And no food for my family.  So we died off.  But wait!  This is 2018, and I’ve got lots of kids because I don’t have to squint, but glasses?  Yeah, that’s a thing for half my kids.  Ugg and Trevor had kids with keen eyesight.  Again, not a policy since I like my life and the kids I have, but as we save more people with health issues like my nearsightedness that can be passed along genetically?

Like anything, there are good and bad effects of changing our civilization.  Without agriculture, we never get to the Moon, but we also never get Nicholas Cage movies.  A tradeoff?

nicteroid

Immigration, Freedom, Wealth, Corruption, and More Cool Maps

“Yeah. See, my cousin is getting married down at TJ, man, so he calls the immigration on himself.”

“But why?”

“So he can get a free ride, man.” – Up in Smoke

shaguer

This will all make sense, baby, trust me.

This is the second post that I’ve really thought a very long time about, and read a lot about.  Illegal immigration is a difficult topic, and one that’s certainly one of the most polarizing topics in the country today.

I’ll start out with the end conclusion:  unrestricted illegal immigration is devastating both to the illegal alien and to the country entered, and is a phenomenon sure to cause amazing pain across the world.  Now that the Band-Aid™ is ripped off the wound, let me further note that illegal immigration is currently considered the top problem in the United States, and certainly is up there in many European nations.  I’m pretty sure it’s not considered a problem in California, since, you know, weed.

I won’t attempt to discuss specifics of this issue from a global situation – in reality, even though I read a LOT of news, I’ll admit my knowledge of the on-the-ground impacts in Europe is limited.  I could talk about it, but it would be the equivalent of a nerdy dolphin talking about hang gliding – sure I’ve read about it . . . .

“But,” you say, “John Wilder, this is a nation of immigrants!”

Nope.  Not even close.

What became the United States was a colony, specifically a colony of Great Britain.  A colony isn’t a group of immigrants, it’s the growth of the home country by extension.  In this case, the original colonies were founded by British companies operating under British law and eventually British colonies.  The British brought their independent legal system, common law, system of representative democracy, religion, and culture, or at least that’s what the Saturday morning cartoons said.

You may or may not like the British, but the places they colonized remain the most free places outside of Europe.  Here’s the Freedom House map of political freedoms in the world today (CC by SA, 4.0):

1280px-Freedom_house_freedom_of_the_world_2018_map

Thankfully, they didn’t mandate that you drive on the wrong side of the road to be free.

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Groovy, baby.

And British culture and religion formed and shaped the politics that led to the American Revolution.  The belief in ordered freedom, that laws stood above all men regardless of birth (i.e., a King was subject to law as much as a commoner), that commerce should be fair, and corruption was to be frowned on.

corruption

Amazingly, you can see that lack of corruption is tied to . . . wealth!  Amazing!  Part of the way to being wealthy is to not be corrupt.  Who could have predicted that? CC-BY-4.0-DE, Transparency International

walled world

Here’s a map that shows where the wealth is, based on this website (LINK) by Theo Deutinger.

Let’s sum this up:  The British language, culture, and religion was the vat that held the Special Sauce® that became America.  In this particular “melting pot” it was British culture, plus the inheritance of Western Civilization that produced the slightly different culture we have here, and it fits in pretty well with the rest of the productive world.  The United States is not a nation of immigrants; it’s a former colony that has created a variation on the themes that have (so far) been the most successful the world has ever seen.  (Note to the Chinese instructor in the year 2230 making fun if this comment, it seemed to make sense at the time.)

So why not have immigration?

Well, I never said no immigration, even though immigration is by its very nature creates tension, and is part of the basis for the balkanized United States that I wrote about in (The Coming Civil War (United States), Cool Maps, and Uncomfortable Truths) and still feel is likely.

Want me to prove that?

The reaction to the following ad, when it appeared in 2008 was, to put it mildly, relatively positive south of the border, and relatively negative north of the border.

vodkamexico

The tensions are currently greatest with Mexico since that country is putting the largest number of unassimilated immigrants into the country, but at different times the tensions have run high with other ethnic groups – the Irish certainly, and around the turn of the last century immigration from Eastern and Southern Europe led directly to the Immigration Law of 1924.

This particular law mainly set ceilings that aimed to preserve the existing ethic makeup of the United States – of particular note, immigration of Hispanics was less regulated, as they were considered not as Hispanic, but as European.

Eventually this policy was reversed in the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965, which led to an increasing proportion of the foreign born in the country – now at over 13%.  This was about the proportion that led to the Immigration Law of 1924.

immigration-population-highest

But hey, if they’re legal, they’re American, right?

Well, no.  It takes more than just a stamp on a piece of paper to be an American.  Let’s run a thought experiment – The Wilder family decides to move to . . . someplace in Western Europe, say, Denmark, mainly because they love hot dogs and pastry.  We become citizens!  Are we Danish?  No.  We’re Americans who moved to Denmark and became citizens.  Well, our kids are Danish, right?  No.  They’re the “kids of the Americans.”  They’ve been raised by people whose culture is clearly not Danish.  Okay, their kids?

Maybe.  And that’s in Denmark, where we have genetic background from, and it’s a culture pretty similar in corruption levels and social standards to the United States.  I’ll note that Denmark has just put into place restrictions on immigrants who will have difficulty assimilating to Danish culture – Denmark isn’t a big country in either area or population, and the Danes like Denmark just the way it is, thank you very much.

denmark

Being a citizen is more than a piece of paper – it requires assimilation, it requires ties.  It requires buying into the culture and religion (not that you have to join that religion, but you have to respect the way that it forms and shapes the psychology of the country).

And that doesn’t mean that having the desire to “get to a better place” gives anyone the right to move to a new country.  That economic incentive would thus justify that 75% of the world would have the right to move to a Western country.  Also, if the immigrant is wanting to come here only for economics but is otherwise uninvested in the culture?  They will bring their old culture with them – the very same culture that strangled their economic opportunity at home – the borders of the United States doesn’t hold mythical properties that make those that show up prosperous – the culture and religion do.  The United States isn’t a magic bullet – it’s just got a great combination of freedom plus restraint, planning, and trust that derive from religion and culture.

And large clumps of unassimilated immigrants aren’t really Americans, regardless of where they were born or what their passport says.  Technology has allowed foreign-born populations to live with television stations from home every minute of the day – learning English is now not required.  And since they don’t learn English, the only jobs open to them are decidedly lower tier.  This keeps them on the lowest rung of the economic ladder, and also displaces lower-skilled Americans.  The relatively recent immigration enforcement phenomenon has led to much lower unemployment.

wee britain

An example of one such cultural enclave in the United States that must be rooted out.

People from different cultures also assimilate at different rates – back to the Denmark example.  Danish culture would be pretty familiar to the Wilder family, but if we were to try to assimilate into, say, Chinese culture?  We know nothing useful for assimilation there.  Literally nothing.  The Mrs. and I would be rather hopeless, The Boy and Pugsley less so, but every day for them would be a titanic struggle to assimilate to a 3,000 year old culture with vastly different norms.  But that’s unlikely to be an issue – China, a country of over a billion people, approved only about 1,500 green cards last year.  Like an invitation to arm wrestle Queen Elizabeth®, those green cards amazingly hard to get.

But let’s ignore reality: what happens if everyone in the world moved to China?

Well, if you desire diversity – that would be the death of it.  Diversity doesn’t flourish when you pull everyone from every culture into the same country – that’s the exact opposite of diversity, and the result (after the inevitable wars) is homogeneity – a single monoculture.  And diversity has huge value, because as different populations have time to grow in (relative) isolation, interesting genetic things can happen, like clusters of genius, or clusters of resistance to certain diseases, or the near superhuman powers of the Sherpas or the Wilder clan.

Here’s what I just said, put more eloquently by physicist Freeman Dyson from his 1979 book Disturbing the Universe:

It is not just an inconvenient historical accident that we have a variety of languages. It was nature’s way to make it possible for us to evolve rapidly. Rapid evolution of human categories demanded that social and biological progress go hand in hand. Biological progress came from random genetic fluctuations that could be significant only in small and genetically isolated communities. To keep a small community genetically isolated and to enable it to evolve new social institutions, it was vitally important that the new members of the community could be quickly separated from their neighbors by barriers of language.

So our emergence as an intelligent species may have depended crucially on the fact that we have this astonishing ability to switch from Proto-Indo-European to Hittite to Hebrew to Latin to English and back to Hebrew within a few generations.

It is likely that in the future our survival and our further development will depend in an equally crucial way on the maintenance of cultural and biological diversity. In the future as in the past, we shall be healthier if we speak many languages and are quick to invent new ones as opportunities for cultural differentiation arise. We now have laws for the protection of endangered species.

In many cases the smartest and most able people come on over to the United States.  That benefits the United States (in many cases), but what does it do to the country that sent those people over?  Does it make India better to send over people who are smart programmers and great leaders, or does India suffer from this? 

It destabilizes India, which, in turn, makes the world a less stable place.

The current mass-migration of peoples on the planet, regardless of their aims and difficulties, will end in violence and tears – there is no instance of a stable multicultural society in the history of mankind.  The longer it goes on, the more devastating the end will be.  But I’ve stopped worrying about that.  Too scary.  Now I just worry about fashion trends.

The Coming Civil War Part II, and a (Possible) American Caesar

“Who the hell is Julius Caesar?  You know I don’t follow the N.B.A.” – Anchorman 2

Pompey

This is Pompey, the opponent of Julius Caesar.  Yeah, there’s no second place in history for “nearly became emperor.”  Thankfully, there was first place for “widest head in history” which he won, hands down.  I mean, seriously, how could this guy buy glasses?

Last week’s post was the first prediction about the coming future of the United States.  You can read it here (The Coming Civil War (United States), Cool Maps, and Uncomfortable Truths) and another good post about the life of empires is here (End of Empires, PEZ, and Decadence).  Breakup was the first, and in my mind, still the most likely scenario.  But it isn’t the only one – there is at least one other possibility worth considering.

As I referenced in the post, there was a moment where Julius Caesar stood upon the banks of the river Rubicon and thought about his future.  As he looked at the shallow river he considered the orders from Rome:  at the banks of the Rubicon he was to turn over command of all of his legions.  Julius had four legions under his command in his conquest of Gaul.  But as he stood on the banks of the Rubicon, only the 13th Legion (Legio XIII, Gemina, or “Twins”) was at his back.

Rubiconbanks

Caesar at the banks of the Rubicon.  Some say he thought weighty thoughts about how he could best govern Rome.  I wonder if he was thinking about what was on TV, or if Brutus accepted his Facebook friend request?

To cross without them would, he feared, most certainly end with him being tried for political crimes (mainly the crime of being more popular than the sole remaining counsel, Pompey).  To cross without the army, then, might mean that his long career for the Roman Republic would end in dishonor.  In Gaul alone, his legions had faced over three million men, killed a million of them, and enslaved a million more – not a record that generally leads to disgrace, but a record that still irritates the French 2000 years later.

Legend recounts that as Caesar decided to cross the river and conquer Rome, as his horse’s hooves went into the shallow Rubicon he said, alea iacta esto, or, in a less-metric language, “Let the die be cast.”  And it was a gamble – he was outnumbered.

Caesar’s refusal to be a political pawn set him up to do what no other man on Earth could do – he conquered the most powerful nation on Earth.  He transformed the Roman Republic after a civil war, and created the Roman Empire with him as the leader.  The Roman Republic would never again exist.

At the time of Caesar’s ascension to becoming “dictator for life,” Rome had become a Republic ruled by a small number of families, including the Bushes and Clintons those of Pompey and Cicero.  Historian Adrian Goldsworthy writes in his book Caesar, Life of a Colossus (p. 378), that, “The Republic had become dominated by a faction who ignored the normal rule of law and particularly refused to acknowledge the traditional powers and rights of the tribunate.”

The empire that Caesar helped create removed the instability of the late Republic, and replaced it with a more stable structure that lasted another five hundred years.

vercingetorix

Here is a painting of Vercingetorix, a chieftain who united the Gauls, throwing down his arms at Caesar’s feet.  This was painted in the 1890’s in France, and there are numerous historical inaccuracies in the painting.  Among them:  it’s unlikely that Vercingetorix would have had such a stupid mustache, and Caesar always had his iPhone® at surrenders listening to “We Are the Champions” by Queen on a loop in his earbuds.

The transition from Republic to Empire was completed within 20 years’ time.  Caesar put all of the rules in motion for his last name to become a title – the Roman emperors became Caesars.  The title followed to the German king – Kaiser and the Russian Emperor – Czar.  Think about that – your last name becoming synonymous with being an emperor for 2,000 years . . . “Wilder John the First” has an awesome ring to it, right?

But this is the other possibility for the United States:  whereas breakup into multiple states is likely the longer we go, there is still the possibility of an American Caesar, especially if the crisis is within the next 10 years or so while some shred of commonality can be forced upon us.  Sure, we won’t call him (or, much much much much much much less likely, her) “Caesar.”  We’ll probably call them “President” and pretend that the “for duration of the (endless) emergency” part doesn’t exist.

klingonemperor

If we have a female American Caesar, she will probably look like the picture above.  Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite.  Oh, wait, she does bite.  And that’s not autographed to me – I found this one on the Internet.

And notice that I said forced.  The way we get to an American Caesar is through crisis – real or invented.  A currency one would do just fine, and I’ve pointed out that a currency crisis is inevitable here (Rome, Britain, and Money: Why You Can’t Find Fine China after the Apocalypse) and here (More Budget Doom, The Rolling Stones, an End Date, and an Unlikely Version of Thunderstruck), it would certainly bring the “need” for a strong, popular leader to take the role of power to save us all.  We almost ended up with one in 1932, but thankfully FDR gave out as World War II was nearing completion – if it had been a younger, more physically fit man?  Yeah, it scared the heck out of America.  That’s why we had a two term limit in place for Presidents before Roosevelt’s corpse was cool.

History shows that people give up freedom to someone who makes promises.  Napoleon, Lenin, Mussolini, Hitler, and well, here’s the map from Freedom House.  Most of the world’s population lives under what would be considered a dictator.  Very little freedom.

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But never in the United States.  Why not?

  • Historically, the United States has been driven by a core desire for individual freedoms and liberty. Those freedoms and liberties were specifically written into the Constitution, despite several politicians of the day noting that no government would EVER try to take these freedoms away.  The Bill of Rights has been a firewall against government power.
  • Separation of powers is another key. The President can’t make laws, only Congress.  The President can just refuse to sign them.  And the Supreme Court has the ability to call into question the Constitutionality of all of those laws (Jefferson argued the President had those powers as well).  These divided powers were intended to prevent the Federal government from acting unjustly.
  • As a further (and much stronger) barricade against tyranny, the states had significant power: they appointed Senators.  Without the Senate, no new law could be made.  The states further had delegated to them all powers not specifically granted to the Federal government.

But those are weakening.

  • The Supreme Court has made decisions that create new categories of rights of people to have stuff (the old Bill of Rights prevented government from doing things, not granting people rights to stuff). And recent rulings generally allow the government to do pretty much what it wants in most cases.  We’ve gone from a limited Federal government to a Federal government that can choose the size of your toilet tank and define what features you MUST buy if you buy a new car.
  • Separation of powers is eroded. Congress writes the laws, but bureaucrats from government agencies run by the President write the regulations that implement those laws.  Page after page of regulation.  81,000 in 2015.  Stack one atop the other?  A three story building’s worth of paper.  With that many regulations, everyone is guilty.  Everyone has done something wrong.  To go back to a Roman, Tacitus:  “The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws.”
  • States in the United States are little more than counties since Senators become popularly elected. Senators are just Representatives (Congressmen) with longer terms, and they don’t represent the states at all.

So, the stage is set – a collapse of the walls that kept a dictator from gaining power.  Now all that’s needed is a set stage.  As I mentioned above, a significant crisis will set that stage.  Maybe it’s actual civil war, as noted in the previous post, which is driven almost entirely by economic difficulties.  People don’t fight in civil wars if they the major problem they have is whether to go to the mountains or on a cruise for vacation.  Civil wars happen when people have nothing left to lose.

And when people have nothing left to lose, Caesar will (possibly) emerge.  You won’t look at him like he’s the bad guy.  Political lines will disappear.  I was watching the Netflix® remake of Lost in Space.  Not bad, but there was one scene that was so unintentionally silly I laughed out loud.

Space eels were drinking the space fuel that the space ship needed to move away from being crushed.  Plus, the space eels looked like they could kill people, too.  The husband went down to the ship’s 3D printer to print out a gun to save the family from the space eels.

Mom had the codes to the printer, and it wouldn’t print out a restricted item (gun) unless she said it was okay.  Then she harangued her retired Marine husband that guns weren’t necessary to fight the space eels.

Okay, you can have staunch anti-gun principles, but the second a space eel is going to eat your kids?  You print a dozen guns.

Your priorities change immensely after three days without food.  You’d be just happy to have a strong leader who will protect you.  A leader who will feed you.  And you won’t worry so much if you can’t criticize him, especially if you have food.

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There was some comment that the maps from the previous post didn’t show the great amount of land that Trump won during the last election.  Here’s a different version, represented by area.  Future battle map for a new Caesar?  Asking for a friend.

You’ll look at him like he’s saving you, which he just might be doing.  He’ll have songs written about him.  And if he does a good enough job?  He’ll be remembered for 1,000 years.  If he does a bad enough job, he’ll be remembered that long, too.

When (if) he rises to power?  You’ll applaud.