“Hold them back! Do not give in to fear! Stand to your posts! Fight!” – LOTR, Return of the King
Chuck Norris threw a boomerang. It’s afraid to come back.
It’s Friday. Thankfully.
On Monday and Wednesday, we have heavy topics. On Friday? It used to be health focused. But then after a year or so I had most of my health topics (things I wanted to say) completed. Sure, more will show up over time, but most of health is either really, really simple or so blisteringly complex that it’s not solvable.
That’s why on Friday (in most recent posts) I have had the ability to focus on: remoralization.
Life has a known beginning. It has a known ending. For religious folks there is a promise of a lot more.
Demoralization is simple: the idea is to make you feel that you’ve lost. Put into context, demoralization is fear. The idea is to make you afraid. And what does fear do? Fear sells products. Fear sells politicians. Fear sells. Heck, even suicide bombers have a fear: dying alone.
When I look at a scene like this, I expect that a coyote and a roadrunner were involved.
Fear is also the basis of almost every negative action. The proof of this is left to the reader, as many of my textbooks in college said. My proof is this: whenever I’ve acted in a manner that was in some way against my values, I can look back and see those actions were based in fear.
Sure, I’d like to place myself in the category of fearless, but I’m human. Or at least I can pass for human in dim light, according to The Mrs. But as I looked back and realized that nearly every action I had ever taken that I regretted was due to fear, I decided to get rid of fear. Thankfully overcoming my fear of escalators was a one-step program.
Does just deciding to not be afraid anymore work?
Well, mostly. Fear is (amazingly) just another choice. I discovered I don’t have to feel fear at all. The decision was simple – I stopped focusing on outcomes. If I worked every minute at my best, and worked according to my values, well, if it turned out wrong? It turned out wrong. Heck, I’m even slowly getting over my fear of speedbumps.
What do you call a chicken crossing the road with no legs? A speedbump.
I discovered something weird. People hate it when you’re not afraid. People want you to focus on fear, especially bosses. I had one conversation where my boss said, “John, do you realize that (my great, great, great grandboss) would be upset about that?”
My response was simple, “Well, I’d love to tell them my story. Have them call me.”
His response was, “Whoa! Why did you bring them (great, great, great grandboss) into it?”
Me: “I didn’t. You did.”
Strangely, that implied threat . . . disappeared. And was never used again.
As I said, people hate that. Especially bosses.
My boss asked me to make fewer mistakes at work. That means I get to come in later!
Another example was when I was working at a company that was experiencing significant financial difficulty. My boss came up to me, and said, “John, do you know what kind of difficulty this company is facing? How can you walk around so happy all the time?”
Weirdly, I have never understood how being unhappy and worrying about impending doom has helped, well, anyone. I explained that to my boss. I told him I would try to appear less happy around the office. And, while I make a lot of jokes in my posts, this isn’t one. This really happened.
I really had a boss upset with me for having too good of an attitude. Go figure.
Being happy is a weird superpower.
It makes people uncomfortable. A salesman makes a joke that, “Hey, I bet you’re overworked and underpaid,” and when I respond, “No, the work is fairly interesting and I’m satisfied with my compensation,” the look I get is priceless.
I love my couch, it makes me feel regal. I am “Sofa King” happy!
I also look at most of my choices like I look at a menu. It’s a choice of something good or something better. “Do I want the ribeye or do I want the . . . of course I want the ribeye.” Seriously, if there’s steak on the menu, all of the other pages are wasted.
To be honest, this superpower wasn’t because I was born on a far-distant planet named Krypton® that orbited a red star. Even though that’s true (I told you I was adopted but wasn’t too specific for, well, reasons) the reason I came to this Truth was the way that I think nearly everyone comes to Truth: the long, dark night of the soul.
As I have found it, this is the Truth. There is no aspect of character that comes without scars. This may be personal, but in my life I recall a very simple pattern:
- Something awful happens. It may or may not be related to my actions. Often it is not.
- There is a decision for me to make. It is a moral decision.
- I think about it. Often (if time allows) I consult people I trust – people of moral character.
- I take action.
The important bullet point is the last one. And when I decided to do whatever was right, regardless of the consequences?
Freedom ensued. When I stopped focusing on the outcome, and started focusing on what is good, True, and beautiful? I stopped caring about the outcome. When I became the embodiment of those things?
I ceased being myself. I was working for a higher purpose. The phrase, “let the chips fall where they may” comes to mind. Oddly, the more I act in accordance with my principles, the better the (average) outcome is. Not that I care.
I’m disappointed. I went into the restaurant restroom and waited for hours. Despite the sign, no employees came to wash my hands.
This is freedom, acting upon principles, regardless of outcome. The secret is a simple one: each of us is capable of doing this. It’s a choice.
Freedom isn’t a document. Freedom isn’t what someone gives us. Freedom is what we take. Freedom is a choice. And the most good and True freedom is acting upon moral principles.
And then? Not caring what happens.
There is a word for that. Courage.
So, there’s a choice, and it’s a choice we face every day. Courage or fear.
When you give in to fear, you have that stain for life. Courage? It outlives us all.
The better news? We all have the seeds of courage inside of us.
The very best news?
We can all let those seeds grow.
Awesome post!! Took me almost 60 years to arrive at similar conclusions…
Thank you!
Excellent article!
I have used a similar scenario, imagine a school board president saying the teachers are satisfied with their salaries, the building are well maintained and the students are all succeeding therefore we do not need a millage increase. The look from people is amazing. Who else do we allow to do a poor job then They demand more money to continue fail.
Great example!
What a wonderful commentary. From my own life, I can support your idea that taking action is the most important step to living despite fear (fear is a survival mechanism, we don’t want to get rid of it completely).
As a young man, my friends and I would go mountain climbing (without guides – we were broke a lot). There’s something about making the anchor point for your rope yourself, and then stepping out over the edge of a cliff that makes you realize that your fear is just something that you can put into a little box at the back of your head and carry on. Sure, we trained ahead of time, double-checked our work on the day and tried to take as few chances as possible – but sometimes the only way out was to go ahead.
Beucail’s comment above makes it clear that your action doesn’t have to be something that would only happen in an action movie or some inspirational poster – but working through fear becomes self-reinforcing: the more you do it, the easier it gets.
Really enjoy your posts – please keep them coming, even if it sometimes feels like there’s nobody out hear listening. We are.
Steve, thank you very much! Yes, I should sometime write about going over the hill: what happens when you overcome fear.
OutStanding! Lets get on with the day.
Thanks for your writing, John.
As Reilly said in National Treasure “Is this what it feels like?”
Yes. Yes it is.
Let’s Go Brandon.
Let’s go Brandon. Let’s go win the day!
John – – You are right about fear being a great motivator. Fear of shame, fear of discovery, fear of suffering, fear of loss of face, fear of even success have all played out before us among fellow humans. Even greed is a formof fear, the fear that one is not , and never will be, an equal to others….
Faith is the opposite of fear, IMHO.
Would like to see your commentary on that particular subject sometime…
Thank you for that idea! I’ve talked about the other many times.
Knocked it out of the park today! Thank you sir!
Thank you! Let’s go win the week now!
Great first thing to read on Friday. Thank-you.
Thank you! Let’s tear it up!
I’m tempted to go read all of your posts that are tagged “bad smells.”
Ann, I don’t think there are many of those. But those that are . . . are bad.
John, such a timely post. I came back from a 4 day hike in the Grand Canyon and did things that, had I known going in I would need to do, would have probably been paralyzed to the point of finding ways to not go: Heights. Loose footing. Lots of looking down.
But you know what? I got there, and found out I had no choice but to go forward. And by going forward, I found that I overcame my fear. I can do these things that actually could potentially injure me (not likely, of course; we had very good guides and they would not knowingly do so). But if I can do that, what does a simple e-mail or task have that can truly injure me?
I think a great many people want us to live in fear. Living in fear means giving power to those who can “relieve” the fear.
I am still processing all of this, of course, but I am not the same person that left thinking I might be able to do them. I now know I can.
Excellent comment! And that’s true – time changes place, time changes us. We can never go home again, because we’re not the same person, and home itself has changed.
I have become a big fan of the following quote from Dune: “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain. Frank Herbert”
I am concerned about the future, but not fearful, probably because I am paying attention unlike so many around me. I have always been stupidly optimistic view of life, and I have found it is the little things like waking up every morning make it so precious. Having survived 3 1/2 years of medical malpractice from Air Force Flight Surgeons, who could not diagnose a text book case of Addison’s Disease brought me down to 129 lbs while the good doctors at the medical hobby shop telling my wife I was a goner on 31 Jan 89. Needless to say, “I got better!” They even let me stay in the Air Force having ran a 7:50 1 1/2 mile fitness test 4 months after getting out of the hospital, which allowed me to finish up my 25 year active duty career stuck behind a desk. Every day we are on the right side of the sod is a good day so reveille in it.
Hah – I was starting to worry that no one had mentioned the Litany Against Fear. I have had it posted on the wall of my office for years. I realized I was always nervous (fearful?) about new projects but always seemed to come out smelling like roses.
Fear is useful if you treat it like a tool instead of being ruled by it.
The bit about people not only misunderstanding, but being angered by your happiness is something I have seen all my life.
I have faith, so I am almost always happy. Looking at a situation, imagining outcomes and then choosing what you think right and best has always come easy to me.
And yes, let the chips fall where they may is the best outlook.
Absolutely. I memorized that quote when I was 15 or so because I thought it was so cool. And it’s true: fear is the little death, that robs you of your life.
“Another example was when I was working at a company that was experiencing significant financial difficulty. My boss came up to me, and said, “John, do you know what kind of difficulty this company is facing? How can you walk around so happy all the time?”
“Life has a known beginning. It has a known ending. For religious folks there is a promise of a lot more”.
And that right there answers the first question. We have already won because He has overcome the World why shouldn’t we walk around in Joy without fear.
Have a blessed weekend John, see you on the other side.
He has indeed. Live for the Joy. Very, very well said.
I’ve never had a problem with a boss being upset because i was happy — this is probably because I have a serious problem with depression. However, over my lifetime I’ve found that lots of things help — mostly exercise and prayer but also forcing myself to take care of myself, and so therefore, I’m here to tell you that there are certain women bosses who go ballistic on women workers when they do annoying things like wash their hair, shine their shoes, and get a manicure. Drives a certain kind of boss lady crazy! They start yelling that you’re out to get their job. Very amusing indeed. I call it the Good Grooming Fits.
Yes, exercise is a good one. Ha! Good Grooming Fits! First I’ve heardon that one!
“What do you call a chicken crossing the road with no legs?”
Isn’t a road with no legs just a normal road? Haha.
Hahahaha! Yup! Gotcha! The Mrs. is very big on adjective order, and for exactly that reason.
“Freedom is what we take.”
I wish more conservatives realized this. Many will say, “freedom isn’t free”, but to them that seems to mean someone else will go bomb a foreign country farther back into the stone age to protect “freedoms.”
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re: women + restaurants
https://ibb.co/cthwWnn
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There is a science to building slaughterhouses. No sharp corners they can’t see around, as that increases anxiety and could lead to an escape attempt. Open enough to allow cattle to be near each other for comfort, but not so open as to allow true freedom of movement. etc. At every step of the way down the chute things are carefully arranged such that the low stress/ low fear option of taking another step is always more soothing than trying to climb over the wall. Until the kill spot is reached, and a device is put up against their forehead. Society has been designed with a similar science in mind, where at every step there is a low stress/ low fear option to take another step rather than to try to ‘climb the chute.’ Everything goes great until one day you wake up in a totalitarian society because everybody kept taking that easy low-fear step. Demoralization is the process they use to keep us from making the moral decision to climb the chute.
Eli Weisel’s Escape from Sobibor describes that one, literally.
Great, great comment on the control aspect of this. Our fear is someone else’s goal.
Hey John,
It’s funny how when you stop taking their Leftist nonsense seriously and start laughing at their antics that they suddenly get upset. Well, what did they expect, going native in Clown-World and putting on the harlequin colors and makeup to match? I mean, what are clowns FOR if not to laugh at them? Oh right, target dummies for rodeo bulls… and boy, are they ever dummies!
Some steadfast friends have helped me greatly. One helped me understand that the people I’ve been trying to figure out what’s wrong with them, so I could fix them (and maybe get them to shut up about this drivel). They are all, and have always been, miserable bastards, because they have always been (and feel like) fools. And misery loves company…
All of this Leftist bluster is compensation for their inadequacy. I had managed to figure out the taxonomy of these fools; they respond to stimuli the same way. Lord knows I’ve had enough test subjects willing to volunteer, just had to do a little trolling. They hate America, they hate themselves, and they’ve been given a drug (call it “false righteousness”) that lets them forget what they are.
They are giddy on the high of this false righteousness – it allows them to dissociate from their dark pasts; it gives them permission to bully and beat on others and give themselves nasty little ego-boosts. It is poison: one that weakens and destroys from within, even as it makes you feel like you’re super special. I will not take it; they cannot force me to take it. And they hate me for refusing.
Learning what they were was like being given the gate key to a prison I had been tunneling out of. Since then, I’ve been walking tall on the path of authenticity, without fear (has it really only been a month and a half?) and started enjoying myself and having fun again. At first everyone got all concerned about me – many of them merely feigned it to gain a position from which to attack me.
Another friend helped me awaken part of myself that I had put away to make these fools feel comfortable. It was like the fire in the furnace of my soul had plenty of heat and fuel to burn, but no oxygen. Freedom is my oxygen. In the words of Martin Blanke (see “Grosse Pointe Blank”), “this is me breathing”. And my fire is very, very hungry. All these fools can do is give me more fuel.
“A fool’s scorn is high praise, indeed.” All their nastiness and claims of self-righteousness are merely confirmations I’m on the right path. If they’re b****ing at me, it means I’m on the right track. If they engage in denials and what-about-ism, I know I’m over the target. These self-loathing hypocrites are defenseless against Authenticity: I dominate their motte; I OWN their bailey.
There was a quote from Dune: “Try looking into that place where you dare not look! You’ll find me there, staring out at you! I remember your Gom Jabbar – now you’ll remember MINE.” They think they can decide who is human and who is a beast; two can play that game… and I’m joyfully beating them at their own game while they cheat. And it destroys their minds…
Something funny happened when I discovered the personal alchemy to accept their hatred and convert it to self-love. I started really enjoying myself while eating it up, and nothing they could do could touch me. They suddenly pretended they were too good to engage in such games with me, and hastily took their stupidity elsewhere. And I laughed and laughed and laughed…
Sorry it’s taken a while for me to write the blog, brother: been REALLY busy with more pragmatic affairs. Gotta have some experiences to write about first! But I thought I’d let you know that I’m alive and well, grinning from ear to ear, and ready for anything. It’s no longer my job to wake up the sheep. It’s time to wake up the other lions… be well, brother!
Your writing is your writing, and should come out on your schedule. Be well yourself, and I look forward to what I will see!
When your over the target as they say.
Demoralization is the process they use to keep us from making the moral decision to climb the chute.
Well, that and government school, organized religion, the JustUs system, no-fault divorce, mainstream media, zoning, currency inflation, taxes, … pretty much all of government except the fire department. You knew that fire departments in the US used to be privatized, right?
Nice comment. I do know that in some instances, even today, if you’re not in the zone, the fire department will sit and watch your house burn down while they protect the house that paid them. (Alaska)
“Another example was when I was working at a company that was experiencing significant financial difficulty. My boss came up to me, and said, “John, do you know what kind of difficulty this company is facing? How can you walk around so happy all the time?””
He was right:
1) You should have been more worried, knowing that your boss was a complete idiot and fool.
2) You should have been more worried, knowing that your company was run by idiots and fools.
Unless you also
3) Knew that you could find a job with a better boss, at a better-run company, five seconds after you left the current trainwreck-in-waiting.
All of which reasons would have been on the boss’ desk, on top of the obligatory two-weeks’ notice, the Monday of beginning two weeks’ vacation, the minute said job was secured. Leaving behind an empty desk, a blank hard drive, and a neat cup full of sharpened pencils.
Which would lead to even more happiness.
I’ve even taken pay cuts to get away from a dumbass boss. Best moves I ever made in my life.
You can work around @$$holishness.
But working for morons never works out, and there’s no cure except homicide.
{And if you’ve never seen it, you must catch Michael Caine in A Shock To The System. Written by Andrew Klavan.}
In the military, you have to work for bosses stupider than you: it’s baked into the cake.
Everywhere else in life, it’s optional. And not recommended.
Life is too short to be unhappy because you’re working for a moron. Or a herd of them.
BTDTGTTS.
I was gone within six months. And that wasn’t the last bad boss in my life, but one of them hasn’t had a job in half a decade, and I laugh every time I check that. Ha!
To continue the train of thought from my Wed post, there is no need to fear the metaverse as the future of dystopia…there is an alternative we can all embrace, if only we have the courage to do so.
https://youtu.be/enMwwQy_noI
When is the projected release date? Looks like vaporware to me.
Nicely done, Icelandbros!
I grew up being fearful, it was beaten into me quite literally. It took a long time and a real bumpy road to finally start to get rid of the fear that is holding me back from doing what I really want to do. I don’t regret the past, but I also don’t forget it. Everything that I’ve done or not done is what led me to being me right now.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose. – Joan Baez
It’s taken a life-threatening event in my life for me to finally release my fear. Though I do slink back to fear every so often, mostly out of habit.
I wonder how many children these days that are being programed to fear Covid, which has approximately 0.0002% chance of killing kids under 18, will end up in their later years being fearful? I would say approximately 99.9997%.
Not all kids. Mine are as afraid of the ‘rona as they are of a giant meteor strike . . . and look up Kris Kristoferson . . .
I am surprised that no one has mentioned this yet:
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hatred. Hatred leads to suffering…”
Or this:
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”
Both are wonderfully true. Fear is, perhaps, the orginal sin?
” Only I will remain. Frank Herbert”
I would like to remain Frank Herbert but instead I will diminish and go into the west but remain Heresolong. 😂
Ha! I hope you avoid being in the same state as Frank for a long, long time.
What have you got against Oregon?!
Ha!!!!!
Fear is all that the comrades have and the soft weak hiveborg herd slurps it up like the pwned dupes that they are.
I never did play nice and won’t be anytime soon.
Don’t tread on me is a way of life and violators will be cancelled permanently.
Demoralization? I haven’t laughed this hard in ages and it is due to the kabuki of the controlled demolition of the third world egalitarian turd Chiquitastan.
Your morale should be way up as the great leap potato brings about the West Zimbabwe Wakanda “utopia” of the Schwabworld.
Rub their faces in the sh1t of their statist utopian delusions and spit in their eyes with not enough middle fingers while being ready for fierce reckless battle at any time.
Great Leap Potato! Ha! I laughed out loud!
When any government, or any church for that matter, undertakes to say to its subjects, “This you may not read, this you must not see, this you are forbidden to know,” the end result is tyranny and oppression, no matter how holy the motives. Mighty little force is needed to control a man whose mind has been hoodwinked; contrariwise, no amount of force can control a free man, a man whose mind is free. No, not the rack, not fission bombs, not anything—you can’t conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him.
You can put 10 tons of proof in front of people, but if they are not ready to accept an idea they will not accept the proof, no amount of evidence will suffice to prove anything. It is the jury who will decide – YOU are the jury! – William Cooper
Yup. I prefer the corollary. You can read that if you want, but I would suggest you don’t, ahd here’s why . . . .
See, that would work. You can’t? That brings people like moths to a flame.
What do you call a boomerang that will not come back?
A stick.