How An Army Commercial Shows We’re Rapidly Falling Apart

“Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it’s usually something unusual. But now I know why I have always lost women to guys like you. I mean, it’s not just the uniform. It’s the stories that you tell.” – Stripes

I didn’t know I was a lycanthrope.  I guess that makes me an unawarewolf.

The United States’ Army has a new ad campaign out.  The slogan, however, is fairly familiar:  “Be All That You Can Be.”  This became the slogan of the Army’s recruiting campaign back when they had to convince people to join because driving a fast car like Burt Reynolds while marrying busty blondes was a much more interesting career option.

That slogan lasted from 1980 to 2001, with “Army Of One®” was replaced by Call of Duty™ online mode.  The Air Force was encouraged by that slogan, and decided to use “Air Force Of Only One Plane®” since that was all they could afford if they decided to go with the F-35.

But things have not gone well for Big Green recently.  I heard in the last year, they actually recruited only one soldier, and he was a decoy.  I kid.  They had a goal of something like 60,000, but only recruited 45,000.  I’m guessing that’s because the other 15,000 decided that working at McDonald’s® was a better option.

Want me to stop telling Rolling Stones jokes?  You can’t always get what you want.

And, why not?  The videos showing recent Army performance have been, um, less than stellar.  From the pullout of Afghanistan, to Biden forcing troops to take the Vaxx or take a hike, it’s been bad.  The commercials for recruitment have likewise been horrific.  If it’s not good enough for the wise Latina child joining the armed forces and then looking back on her lesbian biracial parents who gave her hormone replacement therapy at age three, well, it’s not good enough for me.

I think the Army missed some real gems in going back to that old slogan.  They could have chosen some of these:

  1. Join the Army, where the camouflage makes you invisible to your ex.
  2. Join the Army, and let us take care of your social life . . . because you won’t have one.
  3. The Army: Where you can kill two birds with one grenade.
  4. The Army: If you needed a good excuse to shave your head.
  5. Join the Army: Where you’ll find that “hurry up and wait” isn’t just a saying, it’s a way of life.
  6. The Army: “You’ll learn to stay awake while standing up.”
  7. Join the Army and see the world, through the scope of a rifle.
  8. The Army: “You’ll make lifelong friends.  Or enemies.  Or both.
  9. The Army, where you can put your Call of Duty™ skills to use, just without the respawn.
  10. Join the Army, and get one free PEZ™ dispenser every year.

Why did the magician sleep at Motel 6®?  Because only he could make the stains disappear.

I mean, who traditionally makes up the Army, anyway?

Actually, white dudes.  In the terminology of today, people who were born male at birth and score low on the diversity index.  Hell, in 2023, I’m wondering when “mail” will show up as a gender – “Oh, baby, put me in the big slot!  I’m an oversized package!”

I looked up the makeup of the Army using the most recent statistics I could find.  They’re kind of murky, because they don’t break out “Hispanic” by itself.  I guess I can understand that.  Even though I’ve been described as “so Danish that’s the picture in the dictionary” I can also claim that at least 25% of my ancestors were born in Mexico.  Were they Danish?

Yeah.  Still don’t understand how they dealt with the sunburn.  But Pugsley can check that box on the college application.

2 is a prime number.  That’s kind of odd, right?

So, the stats I could find are murky.  It looks like the numbers of white people in the Army has gone down 2% in two years from 70% to 68%.  And what’s one percent?  About 5,000 guys.  So, of their missing 15,000, you could make an argument that 10,000 of them might have been white guys that didn’t join up.

I know three kids that were friends of The Boy that were gung ho about joining the military, until November, 2020.  Then?

“Nah, I think I’ll work.”

So, to recreate the idea that perhaps the Army wants white guys to join up, the reversion to the “Be All That You Can Be™” slogan was the reaction from the Army.  To be clear, they’re still using food made before 1960, ammo made before 1970, so why not a slogan that was made in 1980?

Oh, Francis, where are you now?

Enter the new video.  Where in the last few, the only thing not visible was a white guy, this video is chock full of white guys.  At one location where the video was stored on YouTube©, the comment section was more disastrous than French naval performance at Trafalgar.  I mean hundreds and hundreds of comments that, well, I’ll just post a few of them and let you draw your own conclusions.  I did not cherry pick these, and did not see a single, not one, zero positive comments.  Feel free to go give a look yourself – the video is here (LINK).

Yup, pretty bad.  Both of my sons have received text messages from Army recruiters, heck, as late as 2016, I presented to The Boy the options of West Point and Colorado Springs for colleges.  He noped out of both choices.  Pugsley is not at all interested.

I am not disappointed – rather, the opposite, and became doubly so after the decision by the Biden Administration to force armed forces members to Vaxx up.  Sure, the DOD rescinded the requirement this year on January 10, but that didn’t help the people who already Vaxxed up.  Wonder if the VA is going to cover that?

Regardless, I would hazard a guess that confidence in the cohesion of the country is lower than at any time in my life.  Perhaps the real slogan should be “Be All That You Can Binge-Watch On Netflix®”?

Author: John

Nobel-Prize Winning, MacArthur Genius Grant Near Recipient writing to you regularly about Fitness, Wealth, and Wisdom - How to be happy and how to be healthy. Oh, and rich.

55 thoughts on “How An Army Commercial Shows We’re Rapidly Falling Apart”

  1. I saw the commercial. It seemed pretty tone-deaf for Big Green to use a black actor to make an appeal for white recruitment. And make no mistake, they need more whites in uniform. I predict False Flags to occur in the heartland to drive those numbers up. Ah, well, Clown World. Whadda ya gonna do?

    Just SO off-topic here, but…John, have you seen the Netflix documentary, “The PEZ Outlaw”?

    “ Steve Glew spent the 1990s smuggling rare pez dispensers into the USA from Eastern Europe, making millions of dollars. It was all magical until his arch-nemesis, The Pezident decided to destroy him.”

  2. Internal quislings are out to lose WWIII on orders from Klaus and the real owners, a banking dynasty family that goes back centuries.
    I like the comparison video from last fall with the Heather has two mommies fabulous rainbow rump rangers juxtaposed with PLA MIL porn showing children firing mortars, cavalry riding to a marshaling yard of tanks, ships and planes, disciplined marching not seen since Germany 1933, and more.
    Remember Trinity and Beyond the A-Bomb movie that shows Chinamen rushing towards the mushroom cloud with the only thing ever produced by communism that actually works (AK-47) that is what purple haired equity justice warriors will be up against.
    Oh wait, they won’t make it that far.
    BTW-Love that assault RV in Stripes and Hulka is a champ.
    When in doubt, lighten up by listening to a good Francis Dec rant.

    1. The Army is finally ahead of you and I making fun of them – they’re making fun of themselves. For free!

  3. It all started going downhill during the VN war. Thomas Chittum in his seminal work, CIVIL WAR II chronicled his experiences as a rifleman over in SE Asia. I was scheduled to go in 1970 but was kicked out of Infantry OCS along with 1100 other guys because Nixon was winding down the war. I ended up a SP4 MP at Fort Hood.
    Fast forward: Recently dead leftist Congresswoman Patsy Schroeder, along with other Marxist useful idiots decided to “reform” the new “all volunteer Army.” You no longer had WACS, but “Enlisted Women” who could: “Do anything a male soldier could do.” I went back in as an active reservist in 1979 and could not believe the deterioration, favoritism, and corruption. I watched two incompetent females go from PFC to WO1 on their backs. That was enough for me. I have many more anecdotes. In my second career as a substitute teacher, I have done everything possible to discourage my students from enlisting. We must all remember, as it has been mentioned on the WRSA site many times: The purpose of .mil is not to win a war with the Russkies or Chinamen. It is to subdue us. Bleib ubrig.

    1. I’ve corresponded with Mr. Chittum once or twice. Good guy.

      Remember, we don’t have to fight .mil. I’ll leave the rest to you.

    2. I separated AF in ’74 after almost four years. It was still masculine, merit-based and mission-oriented in the ranks. You produced and you were left alone, just don’t get arrested offbase.

      You went a step above, unit perks accrued, for simple reason that everybody (including officers) like it when their own jobs become easier. You didn’t produce, Leavenworth, a Dishon or General DC. As for WAFs, they weren’t numerous enough to cause distractions, and anyway didn’t mean shit.

      In ’74 only the JCs and colleges were converging, led by white women (duh). Men still ran the military and small/medium towns.

  4. Wow. Had not heard about this recruitment commercial – I thought the US Army was still pushing Emma and her two moms. Did not realize they decided to have a Marvel movie guy, er, blacksplain how the Army fought only white Europeans until the football scene and 70-year jump cut over Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, Syria and Afghanistan to show a black female soldier at a US disaster scene helping a little kid. See, recruit, TODAY’S Army is just one big episode of PAW Patrol! Would you like to know more?

    https://media.tenor.com/YV1kgXIaldcAAAAd/starship-troopers-im-doing-my-part.gif

    I went to the YouTube site and the comment area snark there just keeps going and going and going. Pretty much every comment has a serious on-target observation or a kernel of truth at its core. These are people who love their nation and despise their country.

    Not sure how we can recover from this except by fighting the Russians down to the last Ukrainian and the Chinese down to the last Taiwanese. Or by moving Fed dollar swap line settlements from weekly to daily and so help the Swiss hold back the banking forces of darkness.

    1. The military was the last straw IMHO. The country as we knew it is gone. The next shoe to drop is the dollar. Then we are Honduras at war with Honduras.

      And “our” representatives all have a safe place to go, or think they do LOL

  5. Having given the government thirty years of my life, I can say with authority that you can not make things better from the inside. I’m available for consultation to anyone contemplating pursuing that path. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I will go repeat myself in that comments section.

  6. Number One Son is in the Army now. He joined in October 2020. It is Hell on Earth for a straight white guy. Lesbians and trannies rule over all others, with the possible exception of the gay black-Latino pedophiles openly “serving”. (Seriously. The girls and gays in his training unit picked one white drill sergeant per month to make life a living Hell for with dozens of false charges of rape and harassment, until the commander would discharge the blameless victim. Wash , rinse, repeat.) A full third were sickened by the mandatory clot shots, so much so that the hospitals literally had people passed out in the halls. And that’s not counting the unreported (about 2-3%) who died within 36 hours of the second shot. (Why unreported? “A technical glitch erased all the data.”)

    The modern Army is so dysfunctional they can’t even deliver mail to Soldiers on US bases. They don’t even feed the troops any more. They shut down the Basic Training chow halls because Covid (and a strike by the civilian cooks). So the troops had to eat MREs for every meal. MRE’s that were stored in a shed. In the winter. And no, of course they weren’t allowed to use the heaters, because “Somebody might get hurt!”. They pounded their frozen meals with rocks to break them up into bite sized chunks. Now that he’s at the base formerly known as Fort Hood (oh, did I forget to mention they’re renaming all the bases for blacks and Latinos?), he has to pay for chow, but can only eat at the dining facility that is two miles away (not allowed to use the D-Fac that’s across the street). He gets 30 minutes for lunch. There is no bus service. Breakfast is only served while everybody is doing morning PT. No food allowed in the barracks.

    Most of the NCOs are clueless, weak incompetents. Most of the junior enlisted snowflakes actively refuse to work. Not that they are competent at their jobs, of course. The officers all the way up the chain of command are mostly woke college graduate trash. (Thanks, Obama!)

    My son was sent to the psychiatrist when he complained, and “diagnosed” as paranoid for accurately describing the conditions in which he lived and worked.

    Gee, why doesn’t he want to reenlist?

  7. Their media consultants are pure woke. So are the Army Brass that approved it, the future Thoroughly Modern Milleys. So, it’s the old adage of the dog chasing its tail.

  8. White men aren’t going to sacrifice life and limb for a country and culture that openly hates them.

  9. One of the few things that the Woke-Fem Politburo needs from the Evil White Male is his behind on the battlefield, to ensure that his ongoing degradation and disfranchisement can continue in the Anglo cultures.

    Let the nation’s empowered princesses and diverse ‘immigrants’ fight her corporate wars. It’s their cuntry. Hi-ho! and a hearty Fuck Off to New Amerika and her institutions.

  10. And this is precisely why China and Russia (and the other 90% of the global population) are now making their moves to subjugate us.
    We couldn’t win a war with Canada right now.

    The weak always lose.

  12. Might I chime in here with a word about today’s highly sophisticated electronic weapons production?

    I’ve spent my entire adult life working for a Big Three defense contractor, and the changes I’ve seen over 30+ years are frightening to behold. Whereas it was White guys as far as the eye could see when I started out, especially deep in the classified trenches, today we are a rapidly shrinking minority among a throng of coddled, incompetent whiners.

    As it is still the case that not very many females or blacks go into STEM, those who do are highly prized and feted like royalty. Even those who manage somehow to survive four years of university physics and math are very often utterly useless in the field. Yet my employer, for just one, insists that our workforce be 50% female and heavy on the non-Asian minority count. Since too many of them can’t engineer their strong, independent selves out of a wet paper sack with a roadmap, there is only one place to fit so many underperforming types. For at least three levels above me, the “managers” are exclusively female and as much as 20 years my junior.

    How do you suppose it makes a guy feel, having toiled in the field since before Clinton was chasing tail at the White House, to have to answer to some over-entitled bint so full of herself that she genuinely believes she earned her position? The proper plumbing and/or skin tone is all that it takes today to crash right through that glass ceiling like the Kool-Aid man through a styrofoam brick wall. Pale males need no longer apply.

    1. Sounds like a great place to work. Do they have a dental plan, or do they just shove a dry dildo up your ass and yell “Ah caint breeve!” until you pass out in joy?

      Sounds like it’s time for a re-make of “Falling Down” but instead the protaganist just meekly smiles and makes his minority supervisors look really competent because he does all the work and just wants to hang on until retirement.

    2. During my time from Reagan to Bush 1 then Clinton and Bush 2 then the abortion that was obummer,
      We started with the knowledge that Females’ and minorities were equal (even if they did not meet the same qualifications as the white males. (They have always had different PT standards for females so that they could be “equal”) then in Bush 2 we were given “diversity” training and found that women and minorities were always better. The obummer added the LGBTQLQ%^#$ to those who were naturally better than cis white males.
      And today we see the results of almost 20 years of “Diversity” is our strength and our military leadership will produce the greatest defeat of an American military in History,

  13. When I was in the Army, our unofficial slogan was “Join the Army; travel to exotic, distant lands; meet exciting, unusual people and kill them”.

    I remember the story of an old Command Sergeant Major who was asked why he decided to retire. “Son”, he said, “When I joined it was illegal to be gay. Later on, it became optional. I’m retiring before it becomes mandatory.”

  14. Why wouldn’t anyone want to join such an Elite Organ-nization such as the 69th Nonbinary Intersectional Dildo Brigade? Miss out on the Fabulosity and Glam!?! Perish the thought!

  15. This is funny and at the same time horrifying. One of the comments about having to do a FF to boost recruitment is probably spot on. Even worse, a FF and bringing back the draft because the FF didn’t boost recruitment.

    1. Oh, they’re done. The Boy Scouts brought in every bit of the LGBTQ+ community, and then evaporated. Why?

      Boys want to be boys. Even in 2023.

  16. As a young father raising sons, I always sort of thought that the military would be an honorable career path for them but not today and I thank my lucky stars that none of my boys ever really considered the military. No White father should send his sons to die for a country that hates them or for Israel (but I repeat myself)

  17. My son was recruited for the local Army Gaurd unit. He thought they didn’t get deployed. I told him they’d already gone to Iraq twice. He declined to join.

    They’re really pushing Kang. He’s in everything.

    I thought the black doughboys had to fight in French uniforms like the Harlem Hellfighters?

  18. Upon reflection, maybe Jonathan Majors should narrate against a Civil War battle backdrop that the US Army sacrificed 110,000 dead white men and 275,000 wounded white men to end slavery of blacks in the South, and finish with a tagline that the US Army was the first major American institution to racially desegregate via Executive Order 9981. The US Army has a proud, honorable and unsurpassed history in uniting America, perhaps focus on that???

    Nah. The other recruitment video Majors did is entitled “Pushing Tomorrow” ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swnCndIH35A ). It starts with him launching a dragonfly as he walks along with Lewis and Clark, and ends with an Asian woman launching a mini-drone. The white guy in our story at (0:47) has his eyes hidden a la Geordi La Forge by a VR mask that has already been dumped as a dud.

    https://www.theverge.com/2022/10/13/23402195/microsoft-us-army-hololens-ar-goggles-internal-reports-failings-nausea-headaches

    https://www.theverge.com/2023/1/12/23552132/microsoft-hololens-army-contract-denied-v1-2-improvements

  19. It’s true that I can’t always get what I want.

    But if I try sometime
    I just might find
    I get what I need. Whooo! Whooo!

    Addressing the substance: I think any decent, normal person has to regard the US military as our opponent as things fall apart. The gay-er and more womanly and more diverse and vibrant it gets, the better.

  20. Scene – pompous groid strolling betwixt two mech columns – “you see obstacles in front of you” tank roars up from behind – WHOMP – obstacle cleared – close.

  21. CPT Nephew got out 1 Jan and threatened to whip my 18 yo son’s ass if he even thought about enlisting…

    1. I think that’s too deep: people who would sign up know the country doesn’t like them. So, why sign up?

  23. My Grandfather served in the Pacific in WWII…
    My Father Served in Korea during the Korean War…
    My Brother Served during the Cold War…
    I served 25 years through the Cold War, Desert I and II and Afghanistan…
    Enlisted in the Air Force but did 19 of those 25 doing Army Support in Special Forces.
    I wanted to have the Pride of seeing my Son serve…
    But no longer.
    Flipping burgers and digging ditches have much more Honor and he will have much better Leadership than anything in this Corrupted, Woke, and Defeated Armed Forces I used to serve.
    When they go to war (and they will)
    They will be Slaughtered unmercifully and the Leadership will do what they always do…Blame others

  24. Yup. I was USAFA ’76. Almost no one I know – classmates – wanted their kids to do an Academy. And all the warriors – they got our or were forced out under barry.. to make way for the woke enemies of the Republic now staffing the senior ranks.

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