“A man’s got to know his limitations.” – Magnum Force
I’ve heard coffee is bad, but O.J. will kill you.
Knowing yourself is important. There are two aspects of that that aren’t considered enough – knowing what you can do, and knowing what you can’t. In practice, since abilities define a large part of who I am, knowing these limitations and abilities is crucial.
To start off, I have a list of things that I know I’ll never, ever, be good at. When I was in junior high, my music teacher tried to convince me that everyone could sing. Then he heard me and began noting that the Geneva Convention probably outlawed me singing, and also that he was wrong – some people can’t sing. So, I’ve known since I was very young that however much I might like to sing, I will never, ever be able to.
Strike that – I can sing, I’ll just never be able to sing in a manner that other people find pleasant.
Other things are also off limits. Basketball, for one. I have been graced by genetics with a very powerful frame that gains muscle very easily. My body is suited for trudging through snow, chasing priests, rowing longboats, forming a shield wall, and general pillaging. Basketball? If I can tackle people that might work out. Basketball with an axe or a sword? Even better.
Knowing what I absolutely can’t do is important. It prevents frustration.
Are Viking Christians Bjorn again?
The next category is things I can do that are easy. Now, many of the things that are easy for me are hard for other people. And as I grow older, I find that things that used to be easy are becoming not so easy. This pattern will continue, up and until a thing that used to be easy (breathing) will cease to be easy. It will be difficult, and loud. And hopefully someone will make the joke, “oh, Wilder’s just venting.”
But easy is still important.
Then there are the things that I can learn to do. Taking great pictures is one, and I was working on that, trying to get the right light at the right time. I still have a lot to learn, because the teacher kicked me out of class for indecent exposure. All kidding aside, I’m okay at photography, but haven’t spent the time to be great at it, but I can picture getting good at it.
One time I thought I had a “long distance relationship”, but she called it a “restraining order”.
Learning is crucial. It is the thing that can multiply capabilities, and when they’re used for something important, it can work wonders. When those capabilities are used for nothing important, it’s the same as multiplication in the real world – it amounts to nothing.
That’s important. Learning can make us better. The last category is, in my opinion, where the magic happens: things I can do, but I think I can’t do.
Like I said, this is the magic. I had one boss who believed in me even more than I believed in me. On more than one occasion, he said to me when he gave me a task that I thought was impossible, “Wilder, you can make this happen.”
My boss at the suicide hotline asked me to be a bit less positive.
Nine times out of ten, he was right. So, nine times out of ten he knew and mentored me to do more than I thought I could do. That is either the definition of a great boss or a psycho. In this case, he was a great boss. The downside? He set ten impossible goals for himself before breakfasts, too. In one of those cases, he was wrong. As I recall, it only cost a few billion (really, not making this up) to the company. It wasn’t fraud, mind you, he just wasn’t able to do what he thought he could do.
Obviously, he was fired. And then he managed to make another billion dollar company and make himself several tens of millions in the process. Even the thing he screwed up still is worth billions.
All because he didn’t allow those that he worked with to limit themselves.
Looking back, the biggest mistakes I made were in overly limiting myself. When I look at some other friends, I see the same, not swinging for the fence when they had it all. When I get those phone calls or texts, from the outside it’s generally a trivial call to give advice because I can see the capabilities of my friends and I believe in them.
Sometimes more than they believe in themselves.
The Mrs. has a simple test to see if a cat is a psycho. “Is it a cat? It’s a psycho.”
Am I done?
No. I still have a goal – I want to kick a dent in the Universe. I think I can. If my old boss was right, it’ll be a bigger dent than I think it will be. I’m really hoping that it isn’t the Russian’s weaponizing my singing to use in the Ukraine.
Some things are more horrible than war.
“Some things are more horrible than war.”
I agree, as far as that genre goes. Sometimes though, I suppose they can be a burdon.
Well, in the house of the rising sun . . .
I know how you feel when it comes to singing. I couldn’t carry a tune with a forklift.
Yeah, it’s silly that I love singing so much, when I do it so poorly.
You are right about one thing above the others: Age dictates limitations
one didn’t anticipate fully. That is why people do need to retire and simplify,
except of course the Congress critters, they want the perks to continue and
will continue until they die on the job.
They do. They cannot give power away, because they always wanted it for themselves, and not for the good they could have done.
About that guy who f*ed up but still created two $B companies. It reminds me of Marc Cuban’s analysis of business success, as follows (to the best of my memory):
“Plenty of people have multi-million dollar ideas and detailed business plans. Why do so many fail? They just don’t know how to do it themselves or hire a team to execute their plans promptly and properly.”
Yup. I was part of the team. He picked me for a third team, but the physics didn’t work out. I turned him down, and he understood. And it didn’t work out, because physics is a harsh mistress.
FWIW, your blog had changed MY universe for the better.
I’ve left it each M, W, and F with inspiration, ideas, and a general lightening of my bedraggled spirit. It keeps me slogging along when life is tough.
Thank you, Linda!!! That’s what keeps me going – comments like this one!
‘I still have a goal – I want to kick a dent in the Universe.’
You already have. Only thing in question now is how big of a dent you want.
Thank you! This comment made my day.
Maybe a bit bigger than this one.
Speaking of dents in the universe…
https://link.medium.com/09xVrLAGTxb
I love it, though disagree with 2 of the 3 conclusions: Yes, not made of antimatter.
No, dark energy and dark matter exist.
They’re kludges, similar to the aether.
After hearing me sing, my music teacher asked me to do it solo. Solo nobody can hear.
I said “What about a duet?” She said “Yes, duet someplace else.”
I know they are old jokes, but maybe somebody somewhere hasn’t heard them yet.
Hahahahahaha! Love ’em!!!!
And, yeah, that’s me.
You should still sing – what harmony can it do?
It could cause a great discord in the Universe. And I wouldn’t want to be the guy who leaves everyone really flat.
All of those activities are way more productive than basketball.
Usually a hard test will determine your limitations.
It only gets harder as you get older but really you are as young as you feel and it is fun being a manchild. (honk!)
My test was a medical disaster and it seemed like the end.
Determination rolling with it or survival by any means necessary and the beautiful nurse C was a morale multiplier she came back several times and then I crapped the bed. (honk!)
Giving thanks every day because it made me HTFU for this time.
Now I don’t fear Long Marchers, quisling traitors, trash talkers, maggot minions of the state, replacements and other worldlings.
Seeing the next world and hearing the voices will do that to you.
Keep your train rollin’ all night long until the end by any means necessary.
Absolutely. More in the same vein tomorrow. We do what we can.