“This always happens, Oliver. Every time you open your mouth, somebody sticks a phone company in it.” – Green Acres
I think this cat might be chairman of the Fed®.
I heard a story once about an AT&T office, this was back in the 1970s or 1980s. There was a particular employee who the day crew would always see finishing up at the end of his shift, putting tools up, and getting the work set up for the day crew. They really appreciated him, since when they showed up, things were neat and ready to go. They thought he stayed late to do this for them.
There was also a guy on day shift crew. He’d show up early and prepare for work. He impressed the night shift crew, because he came in early, and was getting his work ready to go well before the day shift showed up.
Eventually, after about a decade (or so the story went) the day shift manager told the night shift manager how much he appreciated how old Steve stayed late to get things ready for them.
“Steve? He works day shift, and always comes in early, right?”
Ooops. Steve finally got caught after working forever a little over an hour a day, showing up “early” for one shift, and leaving “late” from the other.
So, he worked about 200 hours a year. For a decade.
I think he must have had a hobby. Maybe fishing.
I think it was Alexander Graham Bell who first said, “How in the hell did you get this number?”
In the news recently, the layoffs have already started at “big tech”:
- Amazon®: 18,000
- Alphabet® (Google™): 12,000
- Meta© (Facebook®): 11,000
- Microsoft® (Microsoft™): 10,000
- Salesforce©: 8,000
- HP™: 6,000
- Twitter®: 3,700
That’s like 71.56 miles (4,259,400,000 cubic centimeters, and yes, Ricky, you can check the math) of people. It might be more cubic centimeters if they had a lot of carbs.
Some of these jobs are bogus, like the AT&T hour-a-day guy. I’ve enjoyed watching the Tiktok® videos of the PowerPoint® making drones with no technical ability. Typically, the drone shows up at work (if they’re not working remote) and has a free breakfast. Then they goof for a bit, have a meeting, do a free lunch. They indicate the lunch and breakfast are very tasty. Then they have at least one more grueling meeting.
Photons never take luggage to an airport – they’re traveling light.
And that’s it. From every one of the videos I’ve seen, the folks have no technical ability. Some don’t even work at all – one person complaining about being fired hadn’t worked since May of 2021, since they were on medical leave because of PTSD. What was the PTSD from? Her managers were “mean” to her.
I’m not making this up. She was shocked to be fired.
The other indicators are not good. Paul “the Internet will be as important as the fax machine” Krugman put out a graph just recently on Twitter®:
What’s up with Paul Krugman? Not his I.Q.
This is the single dumbest take I’ve seen since Custer said, “C’mon, man, how many Indians can there be? We don’t need those cannons.”
Krugman has artfully taken out the things that people have to buy from his super-good news.
- Food,
- Energy,
- Shelter, and
- Used Cars
This is a fantastic analysis for people who don’t eat, are immune to freezing, live outside, and don’t need to go anywhere or buy gas to go anywhere. It’s like asking Jackie, “Besides the car ride, how was your trip to Dallas?”
Why are prices of other stuff going down? Because people aren’t buying them because they have to buy food, energy, shelter, and used cars.
Duh.
And he kneaded that!
Behaviors are changing. Frivolous purchases are being limited. The recession indicators are significant from things like yield curve inversion, Modified Mannarino Market Risk Indicator (LINK) and the banks closing down entire units.
But thankfully Paul Krugman says it’s all going to be spiffy.
And, it will be. All of those cubic meters of people will end up doing something more important than making PowerPoints® and attending twenty-seven meetings about what shade of aqua and how many pixels to make the Google® doodle. Let’s face it – about 70% of Google® employees could be axed tomorrow and nothing would change. How do I know that?
That’s what Musk did with Twitter®. Most of the folks Musk fired added no value, and the ones he kept were elated to finally be able to do something of value for the company. The folks that were fired will certainly find jobs in the food service industry, become moms, or just sit on the couch at their Dad’s house curled up in a fetal ball of PTSD. I for one am happy, because we need better waitresses.
From the Tiktok® videos, it certainly looks like they know how to serve food.
I searched “Lost Medieval Servant Boy” but got, “This Page cannot be found.”
Some of the destruction that comes from a recession is good. It’s a reset, and it clears away silliness. The danger, of course, is the destruction that comes from a runaway recession. Small recessions clean. Large recessions/depressions? They can cleanse nations. Look what happened in the 1920s and 1930s around the world – entire governments were replaced.
Thankfully, I hear AT&T® is hiring. Night shift or day shift?
Both, please.