“No. Not like this. I haven’t faced death. I’ve cheated death. I’ve tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing.” – Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan
“Vikings don’t worry about death – they know they’ll be Bjørn again.”
When I go to bed on Saturday night, I sometimes wake up before I intend to get up. That’s my favorite luxury of the weekends. One technique that I use after I wake up to get back to sleep is to think about the points I’ll make on my Monday post.
This hypnogogic state (that no-man’s land between sleep and being awake) is a wonderful place for me. I focus on a topic, and let my mind take the topic where it will. Often, it’s back to sleep. That’s okay.
But other times? I end up making connections I might not have made otherwise. I love that. That’s one of the reasons I love my Monday posts. I have that ability to really let my mind explore on the weekend. I’d do that during the weekdays, but if I miss and end up sleeping? Snoring is frowned on at work.
If you need to be creative and don’t use that hypnogogic state, I really, really, suggest you do. It’s a really peaceful sort of place, but I’ve found it’s also one where my mind strips out the pretty little lies that we tell ourselves every day and pops me full of reality. Plus? It’s a great excuse to The Mrs. that I’m doing something important when I’m busy nearly napping.
I hear when Jeff Bezos sleeps, he wears pajamazons.
Monday’s posts are, in general, about philosophy. They’re the “Wise” part of Wilder Wealthy and Wise. Wednesday is about economics. And Friday is about health, though more recently it has focused on clear thinking – which might be the clearest way to real health. I’m not sure anyone wants to come to this blog for nutrition advice, since my nutrition information belongs on Tide Pods®.
All of the posts allow me to think deeply about a subject, research, and learn. On more than one occasion, I started out believing one thing, and after my research for the post was done, I realized my original belief was horribly wrong. Those are some of the best posts for me, because when I do them well, they change the reader and the writer.
But Monday’s are special. They’re my favorite posts, though sometimes not the most optimistic of posts, because, like those transvestite superheroes that call themselves the “Ex-Men®”, reality is not always pretty.
This was a joke when this album came out. Now we call it male fraud.
I had a big post planned for today. Really, I have a big post planned every Monday. In my mind, I want them to knock the socks off of people. Figuratively, of course, because I have no idea what sort of foot hygiene you practice and would not want to actually have to smell your feet. I’ll do a lot of things for a successful post, but I won’t do that.
So, why do I write?
I write because, perhaps, the biggest way I can make a difference in this world is by serving, you, dear reader. If something I can write can make you smile on a bad day, make you think differently about a subject so your life is better? If the cause of Western Civilization is carried forward?
I win.
That’s really why I’ve devoted such an amount of time to writing. As The Mrs. has told me several times: “John, if I didn’t think what you were doing was important, you and I would have words.”
I don’t know if “have words” is fairly ominous where you come from, but here in Stately Wilder Manor, “have words” generally does not lead to a pleasant evening. But, I am happy to note, I have The Mrs. full support in my writing, even though she says, “well, I’m sure we’re on a list now.”
I went to the library to get a book on Pavlov’s dog and Schrodinger’s cat. The librarian said that rang a bell, but she wasn’t sure if it was checked out or not.
This week, however, I wasn’t able to slip my writing tasks off to my conscious/sub-conscious.
Life intruded.
It turns out that today there was a death in the family. It wasn’t one of the regular cast of characters that I’ve written about. Pugsley, The Boy, The Mrs., Alia S. Wilder, my brother, John Wilder? They’re all fine. Ma and Pa Wilder? They passed away years ago.
Actually, I’m fairly sure I have never written about the person who passed away today. But their passing provided the opportunity to talk about life.
The simple truth is this: we are born, we grow, we live, and all we can do is try to make the world better by the lives we touch. As Kierkegaard said, “Life can only be lived forward, and understood in reverse.” Of course, he was speaking Danish, so Kierkegaard probably sounded like he was describing a pastry recipe that involved using a commuter train to mash the dough because Danish doesn’t sound at all like a real language.
What’s the difference between married people from Denmark and Batman’s® parents? It’s simple: one is wed Danes and the other? Dead Waynes.
Death is, of course, inevitable. I’ve written about it on more than one occasion. I don’t expect that this will be the last time I write about it. Our inability to understand that death is a part of life horribly stunts the modern world, which seems to exist to deny that death is real.
Death has many different impacts on families. It can bring them closer together or tear them apart. The choice is, of course, tied to how the family deals with it. The best choice is honesty and transparency.
Some observations:
- How can you mess up a funeral? You can’t. So why do we worry so much?
- And why do we spend so much on a funeral? I think it’s a unique time where people don’t think straight at all.
- Making decisions after the death of a loved one is probably the third worst time you can make a decision. Or is it the fourth?
- Never, ever leave something unsaid between you and a loved one. When the ship sails, all debts should be paid, in full. The last thing you say to someone might be the last thing you say to someone.
- Death brings life into perspective – it makes people focus on what is really important. So why do we wait until someone dies to focus on what’s really important? Hint: we don’t have to.
- Avoid land wars in Asia. Those never turn out well.
- Most major religions and all of the atheists think we have one shot at life on Earth. Wasting time is then equivalent to wasting life. So don’t do that, either. Every minute you spend being bored and waiting for something is a minute of your life you wished away.
- Life is too short for regrets. Fix your regrets, or live with them. Spending a second regretting is a second you’ll never get back.
- Corollary: life is too short to spend it worrying about how long you’ll live. So don’t. Should we be prudent? But don’t let it stand in the way of you living your life. Is that an excuse to do harmful things to yourself? Of course not. But it’s not an excuse to be afraid of your shadow, either.
If I’m ever crushed by a falling piano, I want a low-key funeral.
During the ancient Roman triumphs, which were held to honor victorious commanders, a slave was chosen to accompany the commander. The slave would hold the wreath above the commander’s head. He would whisper in the commander’s ear: “Remember, you are mortal.”
We all are. The only difference is what we do in life. And what we write for our Monday posts.
