Civil War 2.0 Weather Report – Worse Than You Think

“You were right, Smith. You’re always right. It was inevitable.” – The Matrix: Revolutions

Right now it feels like we’re watching a slow-motion video of a wreck that’s getting ready to happen. We know it’s going to happen, but have no idea how to stop it as physics makes it inevitable.

  1. People actively avoid being near those of opposing ideology. Might move from communities or states just because of ideology.
  2. Common violence. Organized violence is occurring monthly.
  3. Opposing sides develop governing/war structures. Just in case.
  4. Common violence that is generally deemed by governmental authorities as justified based on ideology.
  5. Open War.

We are in the gray zone between step 9. and step 10. I will maintain the clock at 2 minutes to midnight. Violence continues to be commonly justified by local and state authorities, but there are now premeditated, fatal attacks by the Left. As noted in a previous update, the only thing keeping the clock ticking to full midnight is the number of deaths.

In this issue: Front Matter – Being Out In Front – Violence And Censorship Update – Updated Civil War 2.0 Index – You Have No Idea – Links

Welcome to the latest issue of the Civil War II Weather Report. These posts are different than the other posts at Wilder Wealthy and Wise and consist of smaller segments covering multiple topics around the single focus of Civil War 2.0, on the first or second Monday of every month. I’ve created a page (LINK) for links to all of the past issues. Also, feel free to subscribe and you’ll get every post delivered to your inbox, M-W-F at 7:30 Eastern.

Being Out In Front

When I started doing these updates, I wondered if I was being too pessimistic. In part, the original scale was developed based on personal experience – I had visited a “blue” state a few years ago on summer vacation.

A man, apparently looking at birds in a little-used state monument, saw us drive in. He trained his binoculars on our license plate. “Lower-upper Midwestia, eh?” he yelled. “Yes,” I responded.

“Who’d you vote for?” Unusual, but, whatever.

“Well, his name starts with a T,” I replied, grinning.

It puts the donkey in the pit, or a lifetime of communism it will get.

He then proceeded to call me a name for a portion of the anatomy that was the first thing people panicked about when COVID-19 hit and everyone bought all of that toilet paper.

“What did you say?”

“You heard me.” He then repeated the anatomical description and then scurried, rat-like into his SUV.

The Mrs. had gone to the little bathroom at the historical site, and had missed the interaction. I’m glad. She would have broken him like a stick. She always handles my light work.

But this was a significant data point. Never in my life had I been attacked, in public, for no reason other than my ballot. For most of my life, political differences had been a path to amusing conversations among friends. We had considered moving to this state. Why would we, though, when people acted like that? And now, people are moving out of California for the same reason we didn’t move to that blue state.

Once upon a time, we could talk about our political disagreements and still be friends. That worked, because even though there were things we disagreed about, we agreed about most things. Now? Leftists have largely abandoned the things that made us Americans. We have nothing to say to each other.

Seriously, The Mrs. would have broken him in the most embarrassing thirty seconds of his life.

When a stranger will insult you in public over nothing more than your ballot? The time of violence is close.

Violence And Censorship Update

Last month I put forth the criteria (from the literature I could find) that 1,000 was the number of deaths that signified a civil war. There was at least one great comment that made the point that we were already there and the 1,000 death minimum was arbitrary.

It is. But we have to have something, even if it’s arbitrary. The last I could find, there were 50 documented deaths due to the protest as listed by the Washington Post. My bet is that number is too low. It doesn’t, for instance, add in the numbers of dead due to rampant lawlessness in cities where BLM®/Antifa™ have taken root and taken over.

Not all of those “excess” murders are political, but a lot more are than I think are currently being admitted. Although it’s unscientific, I’d put the number of deaths closer to 150 than 50, but no one is tallying them.

On the censorship front, Facebook® has announced that no political ads will be run in the United States the week prior to the election. Facebook© has been removing points that differ from the “official” line about medical opinions, many of which have varied significantly throughout 2020.

Always wondered why the people in Hong Kong are holding American flags and are against censorship, while Antifa© are burning American flags and demanding censorship.

Perhaps the biggest censorship has been elimination of all Facebook™ posts expressing support for Kyle Rittenhouse, who in my opinion was exercising his right of self-defense. The same is true for virtually every major Internet funding service where Kyle’s supporters have tried to get monetary support for him. In the end, at last check they nearly have enough money for his bail. Yet Gofundme® regularly funds people accused of murder. But not witchcraft or self-defense.

They have to have a line somewhere.

Updated Civil War II Index

The Civil War II graphs are an attempt to measure four factors that might make Civil War II more likely, in real-time. They are broken up into Violence, Political Instability, Economic Outlook, and Illegal Alien Crossings. As each of these is difficult to measure, I’ve created for three of the four metrics some leading indicators that lead to the index. On illegal aliens, I’m just using government figures.

Violence:

Up is more violent. The public “perception” of violence keeps dropping over time, in part (my opinion) is that people are now expecting violence, and the sight of burning buildings and riots in the street are just accepted in September of 2020 – I don’t think there’s anyone (besides CNN®) that would say that September was more peaceful than April 2020, but if you look at the graph, we’ve just become used to constant political violence from the Left.

Political Instability:

Up is more unstable. Instability was up in September. I think there’s a really growing feeling among the people on the Left that Trump will win, and that would be the scariest thing that they can imagine. Well, that and getting real jobs.

Economic:

Down indicates worse economic conditions, are up significantly. I wrote last month that I expected a decline through October. Oops. This is why you don’t trust me with your money. But I think the numbers are juiced – I think that the unemployment numbers are artificially low, perhaps significantly so. And I’m expecting the markets to drop off a cliff. Sometime soon.

Illegal Aliens:

Down is good, in theory. This is a statistic showing border apprehensions by the Border Patrol. Numbers of illegals being caught is rising again – it’s at higher than all but one of the last five years. Even if it’s bad here, it’s worse south of the border.

You Have No Idea

. . . how bad it can get.

One thing that history has proven is that the most difficult conflicts are civil wars. They are generally unrestrained in the level of brutality. Why? Unlike war objectives such as wanting Ukraine for extra storage for lawn furniture or wanting Spain to just shut up, already, civil war objectives are personal.

Just saying, you can store a LOT of patio furniture in the Ukraine.

You can see that in Antifa®, especially. I’ve written a lot about them, and I’ve made an effort to really try to understand their mentality. I wrote a post specifically about that, and it’s one of my favorites (Why Would Anyone Become A Leftist?). For Antifa™, it’s personal. Very personal. As Sam Hyde said,

“When we win, do not forget that these people want you broke, dead, your kids raped and brainwashed, and they think it’s funny.”

One thing that was memorable to me was when I was reading Concerned American over at the excellent Western Rifle Shooters Association (LINK) was when he said that he thought that no one over fifty would live through the coming crisis.

A statement that stark took me by surprise. It’s not that he’s wrong – I don’t know that he is. But it brought home to me that the potential for damage in the coming few years dwarfs anything that has ever happened in the United States.

Be aware. Prepare. Be in the safest place you can be.

LINKS

The links are, once again, all from Ricky, as are the headers. You have no idea how much I appreciate that on nights when I post.

Inside America, bloodlust rises, infecting one-in-three…

https://www.zerohedge.com/political/business-leaders-who-reject-woke-culture-be-first-people-lined-against-wall-and-shot

https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2020/10/01/political-violence-424157

https://www.digitalinformationworld.com/2020/09/facebook-can-cause-civil-war-because-of-its-additive-nature.html

Outside of America, foreigners watch us go over the cliff…

https://medium.com/indica/i-lived-through-collapse-america-is-already-there-ba1e4b54c5fc

https://independentaustralia.net/politics/politics-display/america-could-be-heading-towards-a-second-civil-war,14306

https://www.thenational.ae/world/the-americas/us-becomes-cauldron-for-civil-conflict-as-election-draws-closer-1.1083305

https://www.thedailybeast.com/russian-media-is-rooting-for-civil-war-in-america

The right wing is the problem?!?

https://www.inquirer.com/opinion/commentary/portland-killing-trump-caravan-civil-war-20200830.html

https://signalscv.com/2020/09/jonathan-kraut-an-undeclared-civil-war-in-america/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2020/09/11/long-dangerous-history-far-rights-calls-violence-civil-war/

https://washingtonmonthly.com/2020/08/30/white-supremacists-are-invading-american-cities-to-incite-a-civil-war/

Left wing Marxism is the solution!?!

https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2020/09/09/pers-s09.html

Anderson Cooper/CNN is clueless!?!

https://www.mediaite.com/election-2020/you-really-believe-that-anderson-cooper-stunned-when-tom-friedman-predicts-america-on-the-brink-of-potential-second-civil-war/

https://thehill.com/homenews/media/518142-thomas-friedman-to-cnn-us-potentially-heading-to-second-civil-war

Videos…

https://www.theblaze.com/glenn-beck-special/the-lefts-color-revolution-playbook?rebelltitem=1#rebelltitem1

https://www.loudersound.com/news/us-prog-rockers-crack-the-sky-release-video-for-another-civil-war

https://youtu.be/bkqLeECebao

https://www.zerohedge.com/political/kyle-rittenhouses-defense-team-bolsters-self-defense-case-new-viral-footage

Opinions…(are like, um, AR-15s – everybody’s got one)

https://www.michiganadvance.com/2020/09/17/gop-senate-nominee-john-james-america-is-close-to-a-civil-war/

https://madison.com/ct/opinion/mailbag/dave-wester-we-are-on-the-edge-of-civil-war/article_ef3551b4-eac3-5a24-a5d1-9c1af0879595.html

https://www.southplattesentinel.com/2020/09/25/is-civil-war-upon-us/

https://www.stgeorgeutah.com/news/archive/2020/09/24/lte-letter-to-the-editor-our-refusal-to-set-aside-differences-is-another-civil-war-in-the-making/#.X2_dGGhKhnI

https://www.columbiadailyherald.com/story/opinion/columns/2020/09/02/rowland-civil-war-real-possibility/5690696002/

https://news.cgtn.com/news/2020-09-05/A-civil-war-right-around-the-corner-TxvB9wXJMA/index.html

https://www.tahlequahdailypress.com/opinion/columns/column-will-it-be-civil-discourse-or-civil-war/article_55fc01bc-52cf-5f9b-a480-da28c8bfaec9.html

Deep(er) dives on why….

https://world.wng.org/2020/09/the_path_to_civil_war

https://dailyreckoning.com/civil-war-two/

https://www.gatestoneinstitute.org/16542/transition-integri

https://newrepublic.com/article/159172/united-states-break-up

https://www.salon.com/2020/09/22/disunited-states-could-a-second-civil-war–and-an-end-to-the-union–really-happen/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/america-political-violence-risk/2020/09/11/be924628-f388-11ea-999c-67ff7bf6a9d2_story.html

The Official CW2 Uniform…

https://camobags.auctivacommerce.com/Product.aspx?ProductId=1844161

Heaven, Atheists, and Happiness

“Heaven, darling. Heaven. At least get the zip code right.” – The Prophecy

If all dogs go to Heaven, I expect cats go to Purr-gatory?

Life has often been seen by me as a series of delayed gratification games.  It’s like an “If – Then” statement.  Something like:

  • If I go to work and work really hard and save money in my 401k, then when I retire I can have fun.

This first one is one that we’re told from when we’re little.  Work hard now, and get the rewards later.  And, for the most part, it’s true.  Like the old Chinese proverb, “Try the crunchy bat!  It’s tasty, if a bit undercooked!”  “The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago.  The next best time is today.”

Over time, hard work really does pay dividends.  But the downside of that fairy tale is that you’re going to have far more fun when you’re thirty than when you’re ninety.  I’m not saying I don’t want to live as long as possible, but understanding that if all you do is work until you’re used up, you never did learn to have fun.

Oops.

I also know a lumberjack who logs a lot of hours.

  • If I work hard now, I can make money now, and go back later and get in better shape.

This is one I fell for.  I can put in a 3,000 hour year for two years in a row, right?  Well, I could.  But if I spent all the rest of my time with family, then when was there time for me?  This is a tradeoff that looks a lot like the first, but probably has a more significant health toll, since the reason you’re working 3,000 hours in the first place isn’t because the work is stress-free.

Strangely, the healthcare program was also the retirement program.

  • If I’m good on Earth, and have faith, when I die I can go to Heaven.

Now, I’m going to start off with this:  I know that there are atheists and agnostics that are here.  Bear with me.  I’m not.  But the nice thing about all of the atheists that comment here is that none of them are atheists because they hate God, it’s because they don’t believe.  Those kinds of atheists roll their eyes because to them we folks who believe are goofy.

That’s okay.

I asked my atheist friend why he celebrated Christmas.  He looked at me and said, “Well, you celebrate Valentine’s day and no one likes you.”

It’s my theory that atheists that hate God hate Him because they think He gave them a raw deal.  But that’s based on a sample size of two.  My theory may suck, but for the two atheists who hated God that I knew, well, they were constantly angry at Him because of the way that their lives had turned out.  For whatever reason, I haven’t seen the haters show up here often.

But the point I’m going to make is a new point to me, because just like points one and two, I believed point three until I really thought about it.  Then I realized:

  • I was being really stupid. I believe I had Help in this realization.

My realization was simple.  To the extent that I structure my life for a reward that only occurs after my heart stops beating, well, that’s goofy.  Sure, I have faith.  But why am I waiting when I can have all of the benefits now.

The inventor of AutoCorrect was an atheist.  He’ll go to he’ll.

This is where I pick the atheists back up.  From their standpoint, that they live a mayfly existence, a one-shot of being born, getting a driver’s license, getting a job, retiring, and then ceasing to be.  They have to get meaning, as much meaning as they can out of life, now.

But even if you have faith that there’s an afterlife, you can have the benefits that most people think about being tied to Heaven, now.

  • Peace
  • Love
  • Calmness
  • Virtue
  • Certainty
  • Hope

It was my own (very bad) If-Then thinking that said to suffer now for bliss later.

Nope.  Now, you still have to be as good as you can.  You can’t actually get the benefits listed on the label if you’re not good.  For instance, if you know you’re doing something wrong, say juggling kittens, you’ll never be at peace.  Likewise, if your primary focus is pursuing, um, “physical affection,” you’ll never know actual love until you start looking for actual love.

The Tibetan monk was shocked when he saw Jesus’ face in a tub of margarine – “I can’t believe it’s not Buddha!”

Is life still hard work?  Yes.  Enjoy it.  It’s making you better.

Does life still involve pain?  Yes.  Embrace it.  It gives you a contrast, and often a lesson so you’ll learn.

Does life still involve sadness?  Certainly.  Use it to mourn for those who have left us.

Does life still involve difficulty?  Every day.  Be calm.  See the beauty and hope that come from avoiding fear.

And, if you’re not an atheist, use every moment that you can to get closer to God, because, after all, what is Heaven, anyway?

Open Thread For Debate Liveblog, Plus A Prediction Of How It Will Go

“I would not presume to debate you.” – Star Trek II:  Wrath of (Prose and) Khan(s)

Clothing optional.  No, I really don’t want to know.  Really, I don’t.

It’s 2020, and the first debate, so let’s have a little fun with it.  Starting tomorrow at the beginning of the debate, you’re invited to a live debate party.  If you’re here on Wednesday morning, this counts as the Wednesday morning post.

Where?  Here.  On this post, right in the comment section.  Just be here when the debate starts and refresh the page every so often, and comment away!  No ID required and no cover charge, but there is a two-drink minimum.

The Mrs. has tentatively agreed to join in and may even be interested in having some wine during the festivities, so you can expect my stuff to be extra good.  The rules are fairly simple.  Join in, and comment as we roast marshmallows on the bonfire of Western civilization.  The funnier the better, but do please try to keep it PG-13 and don’t make me edit out stuff.

Because I will.

How do I think the debate will go?

Probably something like this:

Chris Wallace:  Good evening.  Per the rules that both of you approved, Vice President Biden will be allowed to occasionally bellow out the names of people that are dead, but that he thinks are still alive.  President Trump will be allowed to yell two words with strange emphasis whenever they pop into his head. 

The first question is for you, Vice President Biden.  How do you like doing soothing things, like painting?  Do you like other art projects?

Vice President Biden:  C’mon man!  I remember back when I worked in the chimichanga factory back in Delaware while running drugs for the Juarez Cartel.  This poor little girl, who was just as smart as a white girl, would want to touch the golden fuzz on my neck, right here . . . .

President Trump:  HUN-tEr CrackHEAD.

Vice President Biden:  Well, Fat, I was in the Senate back in 1840, and let me tell you that Henry Calhoun wouldn’t have had crack, because Lincoln didn’t invent that thing, you know, the toy . . .

Chris Wallace:  Lincoln Logs®?

President Trump:  UkraiNIAN corrupTION.

Vice President Biden:  C’mon, it was back when I had my first Buick.  It was a 1953, I think, bought it from John Travolta back when he was a ghost-man.  You know about the ghost-men, right?  Only come at night, crawl up your leg, leave a hell of a mess?

Chris Wallace:  Thank you Vice President Biden.  President Trump, can you explain how the 1963 IRS laws concerning tax treatment of hotel properties in Barbados after an earthquake are impacting Russian-Chinese relations?

President Trump:  Yes.  You see, HUN-tEr Bi-DEN was very sad in his dealings with his brother’s ex-wife – you know he married her, yes?  And then HUN-tEr had some sort of stripper baby.  Very sad.  Very disrespectful.

Vice President Biden:  Marlena Dietrich!  Is she here tonight?

President Trump (to Biden):  You work for me.

Vice President Biden:  What?  No, I don’t.  I quit that job.  C’mon.  Want me to bust you in the chops behind the gym?  I’ll show you who knows how to do pushups because . . . you know the thing.  I’ve gone on too long.  God bless Ruth Vader Gilbert and Sullivan.  Helluva Broadway show, let tell you that.  Full of sparkly toasters and ham.

President Trump:  You see?  Lock him up.

Or maybe it won’t go like that.  It’s 2020.  All bets are off.  I’d suggest a drinking game based upon Joe Biden saying “C’mon”, losing his place, visibly showing the signs of a meth overdose or brain aneurism or saying two hundred thousand.  One drink for each ad hominin attack on Trump.

For Trump, you’d take a drink every time he says two words and pauses, nodding knowingly, uses the word “Hunter”, uses the word Chin-a, or insults Joe directly with a “Sleepy Joe” or “Chinese Joe” type insult.

Finish your glass if Joe Biden suggests pushups.  Finish the bottle if Joe does a pushup or tries to physically attack Trump or his adult diaper leaks.  Also finish the bottle if anyone from CNN says anything other than, “decisive victory” for Biden.

See you at the debate!

Fear And Loathing In Modern America

“There is nothing so deranged as a man in the depths of an ether binge.” – Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas

I hear an angst-filled teen robot is called a sigh-borg.

Artificial Intelligence may be taking us down the path to Civil War.

How?

Artificial Intelligence is upon us.  To be clear, there’s little likelihood that A.I. in 2020 is conscious in any way that would be recognized by a human even though it has exceeded human ability in things like “playing” chess and “not forgetting to pick up Pugsley at school for three hours in winter.”  A.I. doesn’t need to be conscious to be amazingly useful.  Even in its limited form it is already important to the economy, and becoming more important every year.  Here are some ways that A.I. impacts us here and now:

  • Shipping – from individual route selection to package delivery schedule, no single package is managed by an individual until the UPS guy pulls it off of the truck and walks to your door. The rest of it is scanned and the delivery path is optimized by computer as the delivery guy drops it at the wrong house.  I wonder why my neighbors needed all that latex and baby oil?
  • Shopping – Amazon™ (or any other retailer I purchase from with consistently) knows my buying patterns as well as I do. Is it super accurate at picking things that I’d to buy?  Yes and no.  I went to the site to give an example of a ludicrous suggestion.  And I bought a book instead.  (Darn you Allie!  Whatever you do, don’t go to her website and read it (LINK) the hilarious chapter from her new book because then you’d blame me if you bought it.)  Then I went back to Amazon® to look for a bad purchase suggestion and bought yet another book.  So, it beat me tonight.

I hear even A.I. is having to deal with LGBT stuff – they keep talking about trans-sisters.

  • Banking – three years ago I got a text from my credit card issuer – they thought a purchase charged to the card was fraudulent. It was.  The A.I. was smart enough to realize that I probably wasn’t in Chicago at 4 A.M. on a Monday morning buying $300 sneakers.  And, no, Amazon® didn’t recommend them to me.
  • Advertising – the websites I go to feature personalized ads meant to match my interests, but yet no human ever made the decision of what ads to place there – it was all based on the profile they’ve built of me. This might explain why they assume I need binoculars, dehydrated “survival” food, duct tape, a machete, and a subscription to “Sour Patch Kid®” candy of the month club.
  • Job Search – résumés of job seekers are submitted based on A.I. recommendation to be read by the A.I. that the hiring company bought to read them.   People are being rejected for jobs by computer programs.  I suppose it’s better than the future when unemployment claims are kept low by use of the Terminator® HRBot 3000.

A Terminator makes a really bad sales clerk.  Whenever anyone asks where something is, they always say, “Aisle B, back.”

  • Journalism – simple stories such as football or baseball game descriptions have been written by A.I. for years. One could argue that any intelligence at the Washington Post® or New York Times™ has been artificial for decades.
  • Social Media – Twitter® and Facebook™ and YouTube© are carefully calibrated to maximize use engagement to maximize company profits. And they’re the companies that are causing all of the problems.

The easiest emotions to get engagement on are:  fear, outrage, and anger.  The reason is that it’s easier to make someone mad than it is to make their day better.  Sure, we love “I can has cheezburger” cat, but to get people to click you need to get them scared or mad.

What emotions do you think the A.I. amplifies?  Yup.

Fear, outrage, and anger.

It’s also sad when your navy can be defeated by asking it to identify which pictures contain a stop sign.

If A.I. has a profile of you that can select what t-shirt you’re most likely to buy, what else does it know?  Well, it knows what your ideological profile is.  It knows what stories resonate with that ideological profile, and will make you mad.  Then?  It shows them to you.

The motivation isn’t evil.  The motivation is entirely neutral.  The A.I. is there to make profits for Twitter©.  Since it makes money for employees and investors, people will stop you from turning it off (to paraphrase Scott Adams from a recent podcast).  Their 401k’s depend on the A.I. making money for them.  I think Glenda from Accounting would slit your throat if you killed the goose that made the golden 401k.  And the stock options!

But this A.I. behavior reflects back into human behavior even beyond Glenda from Accounting’s bloodlust for anyone who messes with her 401k.  A.I. is also making divisions show up in the country.

Let me give an example:

A.I. was great at feeding polarizing videos on YouTube™.  Up until a year or two ago, YouTube© was great at giving me a list of suggested videos that were farther and farther Right.  Then, the great purge started.  Content creators of any degree of popularity were banned, forever, if they were on the Right for no particular reason that YouTube© would share.  Alex Jones was among the first banned, which is strange because he’s like the WWE® of radio hosts.

Sean keeps his pistol in his library.  It’s for shelf defense.

The Right has stayed, from an ideological standpoint, in about the same place for the last 30 years.  The Left, especially since 2004, has moved wildly Left.

Was A.I. to blame for all of that Leftward movement?  No.  There are other factors at play – especially a demographic shift of population with a huge influx in immigrants that come from countries that are all further Left than the United States.  Why they want to escape their Leftist hell-holes and then vote for Leftism here is beyond me.

But A.I. certainly pushed people who were leaning Left, farther Left.

So, A.I. can change people by surrounding them with a nice, warm Leftist echo chamber.  In what might be worse, A.I. is likely no longer just changing people, it’s changing events because that echo chamber exists.

Let’s take St. Louis, when Mark and Patricia McCloskey defended their own property.  Most people who reviewed their actions who have a legal background have said everything they did was clearly lawful.

Except.

Not an original.  Is this all the Terminator that 2020 could give us?

An elected prosecutor, Kimberly Gardner, charged Mark and Patricia McCloskey with felonies.  What amount of A.I. inspired Twitter®-fueled hate-rage against the McCloskey family resulted in her having the courage to file the charges?  It feels like to me, that online rage influenced her in some fashion.  It probably doesn’t hurt that Ms. Gardner’s election was funded in part by George Soros’ foundations, but even one of Soros’ creatures knows they need to get votes in an election year.

To what extent is the decision of the District Attorneys around the country to release violent rioters aided by a compliant A.I. that feeds the idea that arsonists are, somehow, freedom fighters?  People on the Right generally shake our heads in confusion as blatant criminals are charged with only the most minimal of charges yet bail for Kyle Rittenhouse is set, in cash, at $2 million dollars?

If the goal of the Left was to destabilize the country, causing everyone to lose faith in the justice system is a great start.  But none of that is the goal of A.I.  It doesn’t care.  If an A.I. was programmed to make shopping carts, and turned the entire planet into a big ball of shopping carts orbiting the Sun, well, mission accomplished!  A.I.s simply do not care.

Meanwhile, use of A.I. tech helps Google™, Twitter®, and Facebook© reach record stock prices.  The big danger is that the forces of polarization and the actions that the various A.I.s unleash gets out of control.  It’s not like those A.I.s are designed to realize that they’re destabilizing an entire country in a way that might lead to the most destructive war the United States has ever been a part of.

But, hey, those guys at Twitter still have stock options, right?

Contrast: It Makes Your Life Worth Living

“Now we will destroy your leader, or at least make him keep hitting himself, unless you let us live in peace.” – Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends

What do you use to contrast different Scandinavian cultures?  A Sven diagram.

When I was a kid, the Wilder Family had a subscription to Reader’s Digest®.  Reader’s Digest™ started out in 1922 when a bored wounded World War I veteran started re-writing and condensing articles he read and combining them because there was no Internet.  It must have worked, because 40 years later Reader’s Digest© had a circulation of 23 million when the bored vet finally retired.

Regardless, the Internet was still didn’t have pictures of dancing cats when I grew up.  Not that it mattered – the thing that most closely resembled a computer within 100 miles when I grew up was the one that was used by Adam and Eve – an Apple®.  Their computer had a downside – one byte and everything crashed.

So, Reader’s Digest™ was something I read as a kid.

Reader’s Digest© version of Titanic:  “The boat sinks.”

It will probably not be surprising to any regular readers here, but the first things I read every month in Reader’s Digest® were the jokes and the humorous stories.  One, in particular, has always stayed with me, and I’ve quoted it before here.

It goes something like this:

One day a mother looked out in to her backyard and saw that her eight year old son, Timmy, was holding an empty can on his five year old sister’s head.  He was hitting the can with a rock.

“Timmy, what are you doing!”

The little girl replied, “It’s okay, Mom!  He’s almost done.”

There are multiple ways to create a humorous story, and this one (to me) is a classic story because it wraps at least three different methods of humor (familiarity, cuteness, and absurdity) up so very well.  But, in the best humor, there’s always a grain of truth.  And that may be why this simple story has stayed with me for decades.

Also Scott Adams?  “There’s nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.”

As I exercised this week, I was listening to Coffee with Scott Adams (of Dilbert© fame).  I’ve listened to his podcast and once or twice he’s featured a theme I just published.  No, I don’t think he’s reading here, but if he really is thinking along the same lines as me, he should probably consider professional help.

There was one phrase that hit me this week:  memories are built from contrast.

That stopped me in my tracks, and immediately made me think about the old Reader’s Digest® story.

Contrast.  That’s the key.  Like beer, Contrast is both the cause of and solution to all of our problems.

Scott Adams’ point was that when you have a long series of crappy days, the good one stands out.  If you spent all day in abject misery having to rub oil on Joe Biden’s hairy back moles, and had five minutes in a hot tub eating ice cream while angels tickled your feet?  Those five minutes would be wonderful, assuming you got to wash all the Biden back oil off of your hands first.  The contrast of those five minutes with the rest of the day would make them a wonderful memory.

Joe Biden would love to have memories. 

Contrast is also the father of Envy, which I seem to recall is a bad thing.  I recall that at one company I worked at, the CEO’s pay was openly mocked (in public, to other employees) by a person that I knew was making six figures – he thought it was shameful that the CEO made so much (high six figures) while he made so little (low six figures).  I knew the CEO.  The CEO wasn’t a rocket surgeon or even a brain scientist, but yet the CEO was making big money.

So?  The guy who was complaining had a pretty good job, and a pretty good life.  But he didn’t make as much money as the CEO.  That Contrast, that Envy, worked against him.  It made him unhappy for no real reason.

Part of the magic of Contrast is how you focus on it.  Had the employee in the example above focused on how well he had it, perhaps he’d think like me:  I want the CEO to make gobs of money, so when they look at my pay they think, “wow, he created so much value, and he makes so little money.”  In that way, Contrast can work for you.  Contrast is your friend, but only if you let it be.

But I hear the CEOs of pretzel companies are the most twisted.

Life would not be possible without Contrast.  Every single process that we understand is built on thermodynamics.  Thermodynamics is just a fancy way to say that “energy moves.”  And the Contrast between hot and cold drives power plants, cars, light bulbs, and every bit of energy used by every cell in your body.  Don’t like thermodynamics?

Move to another Universe.

Outside of being the gears that move the planets around the stars and allow the fusion reactions that warm those planets, Contrast is also what drives Virtue.  Bravery versus cowardice.  Modesty versus pride.  I could go on, but you get the idea.

One time, when living in Texas, I was trimming a hedge.  I decided to increase the difficulty (and try to get a higher score from the Romanian judge) by trimming the hedge while standing on a fire ant hill.  Fire ants are called fire ants for a reason, and it isn’t because their hearts are fully of loving fire.  One time one SINGLE fire ant bit me on my hand and a friend looked at the resulting swelling and said, “That looks like one of those things an alien will pop out of.”

Fire ants seem to bite simultaneously – all at once, regardless of where they are on your body.  Non-psychopathic ants, like the ones I grew up with, would just bite you whenever.  Not fire ants.  They want to have dozens and dozens of them on you when they all decide to chomp down and inject an alkaloid poison that has cytotoxic, hemolytic, and insecticidal properties.  That’s 95% of the venom.  The other 5% of the venom contains proteins that create an allergenic reaction in animals.

That’s a lot of syllables that mean that fire ant venom is a finely tuned combination of chemicals that are made of hate and spite.

Some people think it’s the vibration that they react to, as I said up above, I think it’s just that the ants are psychopathic.  27 ants bit me at the same time.  I know, because I counted each bite.

Ouch.

I jumped.  I jumped so hard that I thought that I pulled a hamstring.  I have no idea why they call it a hamstring.  Me?  I’d call it a thighcep instead of a hamstring.

Anteaters never get Coronavirus – they’re already filled up with ant-y bodies.

The hamstring pain went on for months.  It was fine when I walked, but when I sat down?  My hamstring was like an electric rod jammed down my left leg, and not in the good way.  A guy I worked with finally said to me, “John, that’s your back, not your hamstring.  Same thing happened to me.”

It was my back.  I started doing some exercises to build my back muscles and core muscles.  In a week all of the pain went away.  After three months of excruciating pain, I was finally pain free.  It was like Madonna® had never been born.

That was a Contrast that was wonderful.  The pain hasn’t come back, and it’s now been a dozen years.  And I’ve moved very, very far away from fire ants.  If you’ve ever had pain for an extended period that went away?

The Contrast is delicious.  It’s like there’s a can on top of your head, and someone stopped hitting it with a rock.

So, if you’re driving yourself crazy with Contrasts, especially Contrasts that don’t matter?  Take the advice that my older brother always gave me.

“Stop hitting yourself.”

2020: More Strange To Come

“So the other shoe drops, and crushes us all.” – The Boys

Bad news – 2022 is going to be the same as 2020, because it’s 2020, too.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the biggest surprises, the biggest events of 2020 haven’t yet happened.  I’m kidding, of course.  I love being the bearer of bad news.

I’ll fully admit that 2020 has been the most crisis-filled year of the United States, at least as long as I have been living.  Each month a new, explosive event.

And, it’s still 41 shopping days until the election.

In August and September the press has been focused on the presidential race.  For the last month, there has been a “major” story every week attacking the President.  By my reckoning, at this point Trump hates babies, troops, and burns thousands of gallons of diesel fuel in an open pit behind the White House to increase Global Warming as fast as he can.

You’d think that she’d be in favor of Global Warming, given how much she hates ICE.

On the Biden side, his painfully obvious quickly progressing dementia has been explained as . . . well, it’s just been ignored.  Biden’s primary advantage to the Left is that he’s not Trump.  His other advantage is, well, you know.  You know the thing.

They fail to talk about his biggest positive, his mind.  Biden’s mind is as sharp as my computer’s browser when I have 23 tabs open:  21 tabs are frozen, and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

In October I’m expecting some new mainstream news media attack against Trump every day.  Here are a few from my top 10 attacks that I expect Trump will see:

  • Sources say Trump to personally use Social Security checks stolen from elderly widows to buy new golf clubs for smashing bald eagle eggs while humming the Soviet anthem.
  • Rumors indicate that Trump to give paper cuts to caged illegal immigrant orphans, pour lemon juice in wounds, sell video to YouTube®.
  • Washington Post® reports that Trump “uses stairs” to taunt disabled veterans.
  • New York Times™ exclusive that Trump demands his taco salad be made from freshly ground kitten.

I tried to use “snowflake” as a password, but after I typed it a second time, my computer told me, “Sorry, your passwords are not alike.”

  • Trump criticized for debate performance – “Why should he talk when Joe is interrupting him?”
  • News that people of Botswana are upset and no longer think the United States is leader of the free world because of Trump’s insistence of turning into a werewolf and killing the cattle during droughts.
  • California Governor Gavin Newsome accuses President Trump of being able to control the weather and intentionally starting the fires on the West Coast using only his mind, later admits it was really Drew Barrymore.
  • Exclusive to MSNBC® – “Trump is the reincarnation of that dude who shot that Austrian royal guy with the big mustache, and this started World War I, so all of that is on him.”
  • Outrage builds as Trump receives three scoops of ice cream at dinner, rather than the two given to other guests. Nancy Pelosi incensed, because Trumps scoops looked bigger, as well.
  • Russians are interfering in the election, according to CNN©, by blocking the Chinese working to get Biden elected.

In any other year, I’d say that the election would be over by Election Day or the day after, and we could move forward.  It won’t be.  Why?

It’s 2020.

What’s the difference between the Green New Deal and a dumpster fire?  A dumpster fire produces affordable light and heat.

There will be mail in ballots “found” a week or more later in just the right numbers to offset leads in crucial states.  A Federal court will rule that, “ballots are valid only if they favor Biden, because his name is first in the alphabet.”

The very best case is that the election nonsense is finished a week later.  But has anything about 2020 been best case?  The good thing is that it should be cold enough to discourage riots in most places.

I think that people are hoping that once 2020 is over, that 2021 will be a magical year of rebirth.  In reality, the tension has been building for four years.  In 2020 we built outrageous amounts of debt.  We also lost tens of thousands of businesses.

And when the pizza place goes bankrupt, you know they’re out of dough.

In terms of being Antifragile® (Fragility, Resilience, or Antifragility) we are spending all of the cash we can, which makes us vulnerable.  This is at the same time that businesses all across the country are finally giving up and closing up for good.   This combination of spending all the cash while losing the ability to have a productive economy reinforces into a downward spiral.  I’m expecting the President elected in 2028 to use the slogan, “Screw it, we’ll spend all the tax money on lottery tickets.”

Echoes and ripples from 2020 will nearly certainly continue into 2026 – and that’s if things go well.

The consequences of this are more than academic.  In my current job, I get a few emails from salesmen a week.  I ignore most of them.  Today?  I got three calls in an hour to ignore.

Businesses are now desperate.  You can keep doors open for a while without revenue, but when the business slows down and there is too much capacity, the only solution is that the most vulnerable business collapses.  Heck, my gym went bankrupt, which allowed me to walk by and say, “Well, who’s the quitter now?”

Repeat those business losses until you reach stability.  The downside of this process is that is a negative spiral.  Investing, as I’ve tried to convey, will be chaotic – and whoever wins the presidency may very well regret it.  It’s bad enough that even governmental flows of money at the state level aren’t certain.

I hear that the pine tree is the most common California tree, followed by the Ash.

Take California.  Please.

California is taking the genius move to tax the rich so that their rate (combined with the Federal rate) might be as high as 54%.  California forgets that rich people aren’t potted plants.  The result?  The rich will move to places that don’t treat them like a rabid poodle treats a pork chop or Rosie O’Donnell treats a chocolate bar.

So, if California owes you money?  You might be in trouble.

We’re in strange times.  They haven’t peaked yet.

And I enjoyed letting you know.

The Silenced Majority: How The Left Censors The Right

“You can’t stop the signal.” – Serenity

Joe Biden wants to win, so his kids can get jobs closer to home.

Sometimes my jokes are greeted with silence.  You could hear a pun drop.

Nixon famously used the phrase, “The Silent Majority,” during a speech in October of 1969.  Leftists were demanding an end to the Vietnam War.  There were plenty of valid reasons to end the Vietnam War, but hating America wasn’t one of them.  This was a speech to the American people about just that – and Nixon knew that the people not out in the streets were with him.

But in 2020, we face a different world, but in the movie.  We still have a group of silent people who aren’t on board with the Left – and I believe them to be an absolute majority, or you and I both would be in a gulag right now.  But there is another group, a group that would speak, but can’t.

I call them the Silenced Majority.

I write about the first type of the Silenced Majority almost every month in the Civil War 2.0 Weather Report.  Why?  The amount and type of censorship tells you a lot about how far a country has fallen towards a Leftist totalitarianism.

Also the Left:  It puts the sanitizer on its skin, or else it gets quarantine again.

The vanguard of this behavior has come from Silicon Valley.  YouTube® has been the great censor, keeping dogma from Leftist organizations but banning content from only moderately Right of center sources.  But there is one way that YouTube© is like the United States government – both break their own rules.

The libertarians and Right-libertarians make the point that these are “private companies” and that free speech doesn’t apply.  Sure.  That’s what the cashier at the Burger King drive-through keeps telling me.  But it’s not just Facebook®, Twitter™, and InstaSnap©.  It’s also Gofundme.

Jason Blake, the guy in Kenosha who got shot while allegedly stealing a car with kids in it from a woman he allegedly raped, has a Gofundme® of nearly $2.3 million dollars.  Kyle Rittenhouse, a 17 year old whose previous brushes with the law included being in a youth crime prevention organization, was prevented from having a Gofundme® at all because self-defense is the scariest thing in the world to the Left.  You don’t need Papa and Mama Government when you can protect yourself.

Hmmm.

Living with the systems of the Left is difficult.  Discover® recently said it won’t process payments going to Gab®, the free-speech alternative to Twitter™.

Twitter® has banned the term “treason.”  Now it’s supposed to be “undocumented foreign supporter.”

Why?

Does it matter?

The Left has co-opted the media.  And it’s not just from wild-eyed people on the far-Right.  On my YouTube™ feed a video showed up from a (as far as I can see) balanced, centrist journalist.  Like a real journalist, who has news Emmy® awards and everything.

The video was about Antifa®.  This video was so good that I subscribed to her channel, along with 67,000 other people that week.  That’s rare – I think I’m subscribed two three or four total YouTube® channels.  Total.  It was that good.  And it was fair.

She got a million hits on that video.  People are fascinated about Antifa™, and they want to learn more.  To have the opportunity to learn about it from an unbiased journalist with credentials?  What a hit!

Until YouTube™ shadowbanned it.

What’s a shadow ban?  It’s tuning the search and recommendation algorithms so they don’t point to specific content.   She’s got a great example in the video below where she searches for her exact video title with her name . . . and, well, she’s not the number one hit, I’ll tell you that.

You can search her channel for the vidya on Antifa®.  The first one hit over a million people.  This one  was at less than 15,000 (LINK).

For whatever reason, Antifa™ is a sensitive subject for the Left.  They don’t want people knowing about the group that’s responsible for riot after riot all across the country.  The FBI® has joined them, with the Director noting that Antifa™ isn’t an organization, it’s an ideology.  I wonder if he wear Stalin PJ’s?

YouTube™ will, if they bother to answer it at all, blame it on the algorithm, expecting us normies to not understand that every single algorithm is written by a human.  Or at least an autistic person who they pay with chicken tenders.

Fox News™ doesn’t have that excuse.  Newt Gingrich, former Speaker of the House, was on some news show on Fox®.  Newt was shut down for mentioning that George Soros funded the campaigns of dozens of far-Left District Attorneys.  Fat George is proud of this.  He’s bragged about this.

But Newt mentioning this?  Forbidden.  Fox News© shut him down.  Cold.  Don’t take my word for it, watch it here (LINK).  It’s less than a minute.

It’s like the computer chip that Fox™ HR put into their heads started putting electroshocks into their brainstems.

What subjects can’t you even mention anymore?  Antifa® and George Soros, certainly.  How many others?

The second type of Silenced Majority are people who don’t speak.  Why?  Fear.  They live in fear because a person on the Left can make the most outrageous claims and have job security.  Heck, job security?  Make outrageous claims in some organizations and you’ll be rewarded.

“All White people are racist.”  Yup.  You can say that and not get fired.  Heck, in some companies you’re required to say it.  You can work in academia and call people who disagree with you “subhuman” on Twitter® and pray for their extermination.  As long as the people you’re insulting are on the Right, of course.  Your punishment for that?  Enjoying your tenured position and taxpayer-funded job.

After I asked my astrophysics professor how stars died, he responded, “Overdose, usually.”

But saying something simple and factual like, “The autopsy report on George Floyd showed that he was as high as my electric bill in summer after I left all of the windows open, the AC set on 60°F (8,675,309°C. or “Jenny” degrees), the oven open and set at ‘broil’, and a pack of 37 blenders running continuously for a month.”

Factually, that’s correct.  George Floyd was so high you can see his footprints on the Moon.  George Floyd nearly certainly killed himself with drugs.  But could you say that at the typical workplace that has offices and desks and HR?

I was amazed at how many people are offended by breastfeeding.  Heck, I was just trying to bond with my dog.

Sure!

But if you offended someone?

Then you’d be fired.  And then HR would whisper “fillintheblankaphobe” every time you tried to get a reference.  Good luck finding work after that, right?

And, yes, the idea isn’t that you said something offensive, it’s that you offended someone.  That’s the standard.  And in 2020, every single Leftist is looking to be offended.  Wear a Trump 2020 hat?  I’m sure that you’ll say something to upset some Leftist burrowed into your organization.  They’re watching.  Understand they don’t want justice, they want Social Justice, which to them means you being fired.

There are dozens of other, equally factual comments you could make that would get you fired.   Cisco Systems® fired several people after diversity training.  What did they do?  Well, on was fired for saying “All lives matter.”  So you can be sure that whatever those people said was the worstest evar!

I Googled® cigarette lighters, and got over 56,000,000 matches.

Another example?  James Damore was fired from Google®.  Why?  He questioned the “ideological echo chamber” at Google™.  Since (for now) it’s illegal to fire an employee in California for their political ideology, it’s likely that Mr. Damore walked away with a big pile of cash – but he’s the exception, not the rule.

The idea of the Left is to take us from the Silent Majority to the Silenced Majority.  They don’t want anything to spoil their “ideological echo chamber” because the one thing that Leftists cannot tolerate is competing ideas, especially competing ideas that work.

Nixon had this one right.  He wasn’t alone, at least not then.  But you’re not alone now.

And they can’t stop the signal.

Friday Movies. Because I Said So.

“A slave stood behind the conqueror, holding a golden crown, and whispering in his ear a warning: that all glory is fleeting.” – Patton

Patton hated fighting against the German fighting tank. No one likes the Peter Panzer.

Last month I did a post on books. The response was amazing, and had lots of comments from folks that aren’t regular commenters. It also cost me about $50 in books that are now on my shelf and in the “to read” pile. And I thank you folks for that. Now I won’t get through my “to read” pile until 2254.

To follow up, I thought I’d bring up movies. Manly movies. This summer, Pugsley and The Boy and I spent several nights watching Man Movies. These were movies that I selected that exhibited manly virtues. I’ll go through some of them below.

I’ve selected movies that are greater than 17 years old. Why? Because of the second movie on the list. Otherwise it would be 20 years, and that’s a long time. My friend drove a limo for 20 years, and now in this economy has nothing to chauffer it.

One question I’ll answer about each one is does the movie pass the three criteria of the Bechdel Test? The Bechdel Test was devised by (really) 1980’s lesbian women to use as a criteria on what movies to watch. I’m not very optimistic that good Man Movies will pass this test:

  1. The movie has to have at least two women,
  2. who talk to each other,
  3. about something other than a man.

And no, none of these movies are about the invention of braille, even though I’ve heard that’s a great feel-good movie.

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First up:

Patton

Patton was my favorite movie the first time I watched it. How old was I? I was still in the PJ and Saturday morning cartoon set. As long-term readers might have guessed, I have a passion for history. General Patton (because of the movie Patton) is a primary reason I developed that love.

Patton also has a personal connection to the Wilder family. Pa Wilder was yelled at personally by General Patton. It turns out that Pa had been sent with orders to deliver supplies to a unit that didn’t exist. So, he’d stop and ask where the (I’m making this up) 551st Infantry Division was. There was no 551st Infantry. The United States Army was purposely trolling any spies that were in France. When Pa Wilder ended up at Patton’s 3rd Army and asked for the 551st, Patton yelled at Pa and then took all of the supplies. And all of the trucks. All of them. Pa Wilder and his company had to hop a ride to get back to Paris.

I walked in and The Mrs. was yelling at the TV: “Don’t go into the church, you moron!” She always gets emotional at our wedding videos.

I’m surprised Patton didn’t tell Pa and his Company to grab their M-1’s and hoof it to Bastogne.

(Note for newer readers who can do math: Ma and Pa Wilder adopted me after the wolves who raised me on Wilder Mountain decided I was too wild for them to continue having me around. Pa Wilder would be grandpa age, since I’m firmly a Gen X kid.)

One night this summer The Mrs. went to bed fairly early. I realized that neither Pugsley nor The Boy had seen Patton. The movie is nearly three hours in length. I expected that they’d watch a few minutes of it, pat me on the head for my love of this outdated movie, and move on.

Nope. They sat, riveted. When they had to go to the bathroom? “Hey, Dad, pause it, please.”

Does Patton pass the Bechdel Test? No. The only women I recall in the movie are a Garden Society that Patton gives a speech to. They have no lines. Would Patton be stronger if there was some subplot involving a young and brave female supersoldier who could fight even better than all the men because she’s the bestest ever?

Of course not.

I had trophy for winning a limbo competition, but it was stolen. How low can you get?

What Patton does, though, is inspire. He was a fountain of bravery and strength. He was probably the best fighting general the United States had in Europe. Patton’s sense of determination and destiny? The stuff of legend. Patton won Oscars® for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Director, Best Original Screenplay, and Most Manliest Movie Ever Made Up To 1970.

Not a second is wasted. The Boy and Pugsley finished the movie with me around 2AM on a Sunday morning. Good times.

Master and Commander: The Far Side of The World

I first watched this movie with The Boy when he was very young. Master and Commander tells the tale of fictional Captain Jack Aubrey and his ship’s surgeon as they sail on adventures during the Napoleonic wars before the French started surrendering every month when the power bill came in.

If you’re sad that you have never sailed across the Atlantic Ocean, remember, neither has the Titanic

The stunning thing about this movie is that it’s 100% Manly, even though it was made in 2003. The ship is crewed by men. They try to kill French men, who are in turn also manly. The only women seen in the movie are some native women who bring supplies to Captain Aubrey’s ship, the H.M.S. Surprise. Bechdel Test? Fail.

The rest of the movie?

Combat. Strategy. Honor. Tons of honor: there’s even a suicide done for the sake of honor.

And also a responsibility. In one scene, a 14 year old is left in command of the H.M.S. Surprise. The honor and responsibility are not lost on him: a continuing theme of this movie is the responsibility of command. Sure, if you’re the Captain you get the biggest bedroom on the ship. But the cost of that is responsible for every man on the ship, and even the ship itself.

The cinematography is amazing – and the H.M.S. Surprise is a real sailing ship. The movie didn’t make a bunch of money at the box office. That’s okay. At least they made it.

Russell Crowe plays Captain Aubrey. It’s his best role in any movie I’ve seen him in.

Zulu

The Battle of Rourke’s Drift is one of those, “did this really happen?” history moments. Several thousand Zulu warriors (3,000? 4,000?) attacked a small mission in South Africa in 1879. Who was left to defend it? About 150 troops, but only 120 of them were able to fight.

And who was in charge? An engineer. Lt. John Chard, who was described later as, “one of the most unambitious and ugly men” that particular general had ever met. That general had to award him the Victoria Cross (VC), which is the highest award Great Britain has for bravery. Smells like envy to me since the general never earned a VC himself. Also, 11 Victoria Crosses were awarded to soldiers at Rourke’s Drift. That’s not 1% of every Victoria Cross ever awarded.

But it’s close to 1% of all of them. Ever.

I did find a great new machine at the gym – it does everything: Chips. Cookies. Candy bars.

The 1964 movie Zulu is about that battle. It’s fairly unique in that the leader of the Zulu warriors attacking the British soldiers is played by the grandson of the Zulu chief who actually did attack Rourke’s Drift. Stanley Baker and Michael Caine play Lt. John Chard and Lt. Gonville Bromhead. Yes. That’s a real name. Someone actually named their child Michael.

Why is this movie great?

Well, it obviously fails the Bechdel Test, since there are zero conversations between women about anything.

But neither soldier really wants to command. Both of them (in real life) were described as wanting to smoke pipes and fish rather than work hard. Chard assumes command because he has to – he became a Lieutenant first.

The only way to win against 33 to 1 odds? Discipline. And the British soldiers showed it in abundance. They fought smartly, as a group. The movie is well paced, and Stanley Baker and Michael Caine tear up the screen. There are some historical inaccuracies, but it’s a movie, not a documentary.

Why is it manly?

Duty. Ingenuity. Unwillingness to give up.

The Thing

Since there are no women at all in The Thing (1982), it becomes the fourth out of four movies to fail the Bechdel Test. I’m thinking that 1980’s lesbian women probably aren’t good judges of movies I’ll like based on a criteria that has nothing to do with what makes a good movie. Good thing the Oscars® are joining them and demanding that arbitrary criteria are included in selecting the Best Picture Oscar™!

Chuck Norris was abducted by aliens. Once. That’s how we know that UFOs aren’t real.

The Thing was never in danger of winning an Oscar®. It’s a gore-fest John Carpenter movie. And it’s wonderful. If you don’t like horror movies – it’s not for you. But in this movie, Kurt Russell does his best Clint Eastwood imitation for the duration of the film and starts the movie by pouring scotch into a chess computer because it beats him.

The basic plot is that a small group of men are cut off from the world in Antarctica. Antarctica means “no bears.” Arctic means, from the Greek word, arktos, which means “bear.” Antarctica means the opposite, which would be no bears. But Kurt Russell has a manly beard that would make any bear claim him as their own.

The Thing is a great movie.

There is suspense. Just like evaluating a member of Congress, there is that moment when you have no idea who is good and who is bad.

But there is also the manly moment – when Kurt Russell stands up and decides he’s going to stop the alien. Is it because he’s a good guy? Yes. He decided fairly early in the movie that he was probably going to die, but that he would sacrifice everything so that a shape-shifting alien wouldn’t be able to escape Antarctica and become Billary Clinton.

The Thing again returns to the theme of being a man: Liking humans more than aliens. Willing to fight to the last to stop those aliens. Adapting to extreme changes in reality during the span of days.

I have a much longer list, but those are the four that made the cut for a very short list.

Your suggestions?

Magic and Money: More Related Than You Think

“It was the most amazing magic trick I’ve ever seen.” – The Prestige

Mimes aren’t magicians, they just have obstacle illusions.

This is a post about finance.  It’s an awesome one, so bear with me.

I’ve always been a bit of a ham.  When I was in third grade, I got up and did impressions and sang a song.  This was in front of the entire school on talent night, Kindergarten through Senior, and all their parents.  My impressions were horrible.  My singing was worse.

The next year, I got to play a drunken uncle in our fourth grade play.  I’m not making that up.  I had a flask and everything, and the teacher pinned the neck tie of my costume up over my shoulder, since drunks apparently can’t wear a tie properly.  However, you can bet that I delivered my lines with the best drunken slur a fourth grader can muster.

It was another time and place, where we could make jokes with the idea of being funny.  If they did a play like that today, I’m sure that the school district would be shut down, burned, and exorcised from Twitter™ and Facebook®.  I mean, the parents in the play were a man and a woman played . . . by a boy and a girl.  And they were married. And they didn’t have tattoos.

Sacrilege!

The floor collapsed during the fourth grade play.  I guess I was going through a stage.

As I’ve mentioned before, I lived pretty far out on Wilder Mountain.  The nearest kid to my house lived nine miles away.  The nearest McDonalds™ at that time was a two hour car trip.  So, a trip to a magic store was entirely out of the question.  But then came college.

Where I was still a ham.

In college, I was living near Capitol City, and they did have a magic store.  So, I bought three magic tricks.  All three were fun, because they were professional grade, and if you had the mechanical dexterity to open a beer can, you could do very professional, close up magic.

One was a coin trick.

COVID shut down the mint?  It makes no cents.

It’s still my favorite trick.  I haven’t done it in years, but it’s fun to do.  First, I’d show the person I’m doing the trick with (we’ll call them “Mark”) two coins – a United States $0.50 coin, and a Mexican 50 centavo coin.  Then, I put the coins into their right hand.  By the time the coins are in their hands, it’s not a half dollar and a 50 centavo piece – it’s now a half dollar and a United States $0.25.

I’d then ask Mark to put one coin in each hand, while his hands were behind his back, so I can’t see them.  Once each hand has a coin in it, I ask them to hold their hands straight out in front of them.  I’d then guess where the $0.50 piece was.

That wasn’t the trick.

Then, regardless of if my guess was correct, I’d bet them something (say, a Coke® or a beer – remember I was in college) that they couldn’t show me the 50 centavo piece.

They’d smile, and then open their hand, and then show me the quarter and look amazed that it wasn’t the 50 centavo piece.

Except the first few times, it didn’t work.  At all.  It’s not that I messed up the trick, one hand had $0.50 in it, and one hand had a quarter.  But the first few times I did the trick, the Mark immediately recognized that it wasn’t the 50 centavo, and knew it was a quarter.

Well, that sucks.

You have no idea how long this meme took.

But then I thought back – at the magic store where I’d bought the trick, the salesman performing the trick had said, “notice how much smaller the 50 centavo piece is than the half dollar.”  I tried that the next time I did the trick.

Perfect.

Mark, merely by my suggestion, had developed the mental image that the 50 centavo piece was small.  Every time I’ve done the trick using that phrase, and I mean every single time, ever, it worked like a charm.  Without saying “notice how much smaller . . .”?  Over half the time the person could tell that the second coin was a quarter.

The next refinement was the reveal.  Remember when I told the Mark to hold his hands out front, and I’d guess which hand had the fifty cent piece in it?  Amazingly, 90% of people put the half dollar into the same hand.  Which hand?  I’m not giving up all of my secrets.

I would, on purpose, guess the wrong hand after telling Mark not to show me the coins, right or wrong.

They’d smile and tell me I was wrong.  They felt awesome – they’d beaten the magician.  Obviously, the trick was going wrong.

All part of the plan.

The next thing I said was, “I bet you a beer Coke™ that you can’t show me the 50 centavo piece,” and then they opened their hand to see an ordinary quarter?  After seeing the quarter, I’d ask Mark to open the other hand where they’d see a normal fifty cent piece.  They were always amazed when I did it right, but in order for the trick to work, I had to say the right things.

The trick paid for itself in, um, beverages and things.  And the Mark didn’t mind – Mark was amused, and I got paid a small fee for that amusement.

But the things that sold the trick wasn’t the mechanics and metal, it was what I was saying, and how I was saying it, and, even being intentionally wrong was part of the final sale.  You can buy this trick yourself, for about $12 – search “Scotch and Soda Trick” on Amazon.

You’re welcome.

But what does this have to do with money?

A lot, actually.

His version of Purple Rain was awful.

Number One – People who sell stuff know how to sell.  Like my magic trick, salesmen do trial and error to learn what works.  If you buy a car every five years from a dealer, and they have contact with 30 customers a week, who has the upper hand?

If you’re listening to a politician who’s spent his entire life just getting elected, what likelihood to you have of understanding their real character and values?  They probably don’t remember them themselves.  If you’re buying a car, a house, or even a burger at McDonalds, they know the game.  There’s a reason that every well-trained McDonalds© employee asks, “Do you want fries with that?”

They know the game.  McDonalds® knows that a potato costs them pennies, but a basket of fries can go for $3.  Profits may be fleeting, but the pant size increase is forever.

One of the tricks that Bernie Madoff used with his customers was to dress very frugally.  Despite the fact that he was stealing billions ($20 billion by the best estimate I found), he knew the game better than his Marks.  He also was selective with clients – he wouldn’t accept just anyone.  No, you had to apply and be approved.  You had to know someone.

Number Two – Knowing the trick is everything.  When I did the coin trick, only I knew what was coming.  It was all scripted, and I knew exactly what the outcome was going to be.  When I asked people to let me guess which hand the coin was in, they thought that was the trick.  No, the trick was that there was no fifty centavo piece.  But because I created the structure, I knew where the trick was.

That’s a tremendous advantage.  I can use that knowledge to create a scenario where I can manipulate emotions to get the reactions and responses I want.  Why?  I control the conditions.  I control the reveal.

What sorts of tricks are out in the world?

  • “No money down.”
  • “I never got your text.”
  • “Yes, I’ll hold your beer, there’s no way this could go wrong.”
  • “No interest for the first six months.”
  • “Housing prices always go up.”
  • “CNN – The Most Trusted Name in News.”

Number Three – Things are rarely as they seem.  Mark saw only what I wanted him to see during the trick, and I carefully made sure by closing his hand around the coins after I put them there.  Then I told him to not let me see when he put the coins in each hand.  Why?  Because I didn’t want him to see what was really going on.

One of the biggest illusions that most people don’t recognize is that our money is entirely made up.  The $ and € and ¥ and £ only have meaning because we give them meaning.  The United States dollar has no backing other than . . . the promise to trade it for a dollar.  That’s it.  And people keep playing the game even though the Federal Reserve™ tells them the dollar will be worth less every year.  On purpose.

Oh, and the Federal Reserve©?  It’s not Federal, and it doesn’t have a Reserve.  Discuss.

Generally, people didn’t believe that the government had a super-secret plan to eavesdrop on all electronic communications from anyone.  Then Edward Snowden showed . . . they have a plan to monitor all electronic communications, everywhere.  When Snowden joined Twitter® he soon had more followers than the National Security Agency.  That’s okay, the NSA follows everyone.

I knew there was a reason my computer has a sticker that says “Intel Inside.”

Number Four – It’s super easy to suggest things to people.  This shocked me.  One time Scott Adams mentioned that in a line at a copier, if you have to make a copy, all you have to do is have a reason to jump the line.  He suggested, “Hey, can I cut in front of you?  I have to make a copy.”  Note that making a copy is exactly what everyone else was doing, but the request, coupled with a reason, seemed to work.  No matter how stupid the reason.

  • Yes, there’s a reason you want ice cream.
  • What, you thought that was impartial?
  • “The Arctic will be ice free by 2013,” – Al Gore.  Hmm.  Trust me.  Next time it really will be.
  • Asking them to do you a small favor. Oddly, this creates a pattern where people are much more likely to do a big favor for you later.  Oh, while you’re at it, hit the subscribe button.  Don’t cost nothin’.
  • Never trust a flatterer.  I had a boss that, one month after he joined the company, wrote a performance review that would have made me think that I needed to apply for the job of Messiah.  Except in my case it made me never trust him.  I was right.
  • Peer Pressure. People like to do what other people consider acceptable, since being socially acceptable is important.  If everyone is doing it, well, I should, too.  I went against the grain, and now Wal-Mart® insists that I wear pants from now on.

Number Five – The person proposing the bet may not have your best interest at heart.  In the example above, I ended up getting a few beverages.  The person involved got an equal exchange.  No one was ever mad – if they had been, I’d have told them to ignore the bet.

But.

I used the name “Mark” for a reason.  It’s what conmen (ever notice that the Politically Correct Police don’t object to that one?) call the object of their scam.  I’ve even been at carnivals where a guy running a game called out, “hey, Mark” to someone walking by to try to get them to break a balloon and win a poster of Gillian Anderson.  Only five dollars a dart!

I wonder if the aliens believed in her?

There are probably a few other examples that I could bring up, but it’s late, and I have to go practice not singing.  Bonus points if you can tell what two impersonations I did in third grade in the comments.

See, I told you this post would be awesome.