“Man, there’s not a year that goes by, not a year, that I don’t read about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid that could’ve easily been avoided had some parent, I don’t care which one, but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect the escalator.” – Mallrats
Is that Neandergibson? Joe Piscopo?
While the 1980s allowed for gonzo productions of very uneven quality to become classics (Better Off Dead, for instance) the 1990s box office was much more crowded and the studios began to spend even more on the films. I’d say that a random movie from 1995 was more professionally made than a random movie from any year in the 1980s, but had a lot less heart.
As to the continuation of the series, I’m not sure if we’ll do 1996 or end it here. I think I’m done with the 1970s, though I have another idea that amuses me that we’ll try in late August. As always, I’m also willing to consider lists of genre flicks, but pretty soon that ends up with movies no one ever saw.
As usual, sequels are excluded on the list. I don’t consider Mallrats a sequel. Thankfully, I make the rules. You may appeal. It will be denied.
As an aside, I don’t think you can overestimate the propaganda impact of films. Just like listening to music puts your brain into a state of suggestable hypnosis (which is why I like to listen to kick-ass music rather than sad stuff most days) so does film. Film takes the next dimension above music by adding visual stimulus, making the hypnosis even more effective. What I take in does impact me, so I consider that more and more as I grow older and as it’s thrown in our faces with the last decade’s worth of propaganda films. I understand now why some don’t like horror films for just that reason. I do like them, still, but I’ve become much more selective as to what I let in the transom.
Speaking of which . . . .
That poster gives me tentacles. I mean tingles. And it looks like Ralph Macchio.
In the Mouth of Madness – I love good Lovecraftian horror. Cosmic horror is at its best when it sketches a universe of limitless expanse where we’re just nubs sitting in the darkness while titanic forces beyond our understanding play out around us. It’s like whistling through the graveyard, if you will. When I first saw In the Mouth of Madness I hated it, because I didn’t get it. Now? My opinion is that it’s great cosmic horror, and shows off Sam Neill as he unwittingly brings about the end of the world. With popcorn. Like most of Carpenter’s work, it has a large following, but was box office poison. But he gets the last laugh in this one.
I have a particular set of skills. Murder and guitar solos.
Rob Roy – Scots fighting to be fiercely independent, while being swindled and taken advantage of by rape-y foreigners? If only they would do that in 2025. Tim Roth steals the show in a perfectly creepy performance with hair appropriate for Isaac Newton if he played guitar for Queen®. It did okay at the box office.
If you’ve seen the movie, this makes a little bit of sense.
Crimson Tide – Another submarine movie because, well, why not? In this one, though, Tony Scott (same guy who cooked a Goose in Top Gun) gets the most out of Denzel Washington and the late Gene Hackman. To be clear, Hackman was still alive during the movie. The two are officers on a nuclear missile submarine that have to decide if they’re going to shoot off nuclear missiles after losing communications with Starfleet®. Me? I would have launched the missiles because that’s one way to get in the history books.
Should this one be called “Bravefelt”?
Braveheart – Tons of historical inaccuracy? Check. Mel Gibson with more hair than an 80’s glam band? Check. Ludicrously long runtime of nearly three hours? Also check. In spite of these things, this was a huge hit. Swords. Women. Bravery. Sophie Marceau at her peak Marceau-ness. What’s not to love?
I still remember when he outran Kevin Spacey to maintain his virginity in the climax.
Apollo 13 – This movie follows the life of a young transgender long-distance runner (Tom Hanks) who needs an older mentor (Kevin Bacon) to buy him shoes because he grew up in a third-world country that couldn’t afford to have a Nike® store or electricity or food.
I need to post this on Rob’s X® feed.
Judge Dredd – Some comic book purists don’t like this version because in the comic books Dredd never takes off his helmet, but Stallone wanted to show off his hair. The (much darker) 2012 reboot Dredd features a Dredd™ that always covers his hedd. I didn’t care, really, since I found this movie both stupid and hilarious and one of Rob Schneider’s best roles. Huge flop. I wouldn’t recommend it, but yet I enjoyed it. Does that mean I hate myself? Anyway, the 2012 version is a much better movie.
Wait, what if every suspect was Rob Schneider? That would be wacky!
The Usual Suspects – Cost $6 million, made nearly $70 million. This one gets the most out of fairly talented cast in a crime mystery, and I will admit that the ending did surprise me when I watched it on a rental VHS tape from Blockbuster™, because I did not know that late fees could get that high. I still don’t know how the tape ended up behind the couch. Maybe it was Keyser Söze?
Wow, those guys are more swole than I recalled. The 90s rocked!
Mallrats – A $6 million dollar budget. $2 million in ticket sales. I think the budget skips all the advertisement for this thing – you couldn’t go anywhere young adults were in 1995 without seeing ads for this movie months before it came out. This movie is a very stupid comedy that brings us Jason Lee (My Name is Earl) as a guy on a quest to get his girlfriend back. I think. It’s funny in a juvenile way, but was also the product of its time. Watched it with my boys, they thought it was hilarious, but were also fascinated, like anthropologists studying a world that existed a thousand years ago.
I hope it’s as good as the sequel to Hamlet.
Leaving Las Vegas – Darkest movie on this list. Watched it once, not sure I have it in me to watch it again. The guy who wrote the semi-autographical novel it was based on killed himself when he found out it was going to be a movie. Guess he really, really, really, really didn’t like Nic Cage.
Heat – I was debating if I was going to do “It Came From . . . . 1995” at all, but the meme above (as found) convinced me that I should. Big hit that I somehow missed and watched a few years ago after Aesop mentioned it. No weapons were injured during the filming of this movie, but not for lack of ammo. Thank heavens Sig® hadn’t introduced the P320™ yet or else half of the ammo fired wouldn’t have needed an actor fanning the trigger. Related news: I hear Alec Baldwin is going to be Sig©’s spokesman.
Four Rooms or Fur Rooms?
Four Rooms – An anthology film that I saw in an arthouse theater (the only time I’ve ever been to one) with a buddy. I guess being in an arthouse theater is with another dude is the gayest thing I’ve ever done in my life, besides that one time I had a wine cooler. Regardless, I enjoyed it, since each one of the four films was essentially a joke tied together by Tim Roth’s best comedic performance. The first film is by far the weakest, but, I can’t call it awful because, boobs.
“Waiter, there’s a rubber chicken in my soup.”
“No there isn’t.”
“Yes, there is. What is it doing there.”
“The backstroke, I believe.”
Now for something completely different.
12 Monkeys – Is he crazy, or is it time travel? Why not both? Terry Gilliam was generally the weakest member of Monty Python®, but he’s done much better as a director. Regardless, this movie brings together Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt in roles very much against the stuff they normally did, with Pitt even getting nominated for an Oscar™.
Not included? Seven. Species. Strange Days. Sense and Sensibility. Really, any movie starting with ‘S’ from 1995. I kid. Things to do in Denver When You’re Dead also nearly made the list.
What did I miss?
You mentioned the propaganda impact in films….I’ve been watching old war movies with my dad and am surprised by just how much (((propaganda))) has been inserted into every movie. I didn’t notice it when I was younger, but it’s hard to miss now.
The older I get, the more I realize that everything we’ve been is fake and gay.
Invasion USA and Delta Force are two that cast Chuck in a different light for me, ‘cuz I loved those movies when they came out on HBO.
Now they’re really… horrible. He even tarnished Lee Marvin in my eyes…
https://gab.com/Zaklog/posts/114954167947996993
Yup. A post on that coming up.
Yes, I realize that this article is about nineties flicks, but one that stands out for me from the eighties is
“Three O’Clock High”. It is one of the best and highly underrated, high school comedies that I’ve ever seen…..
That was a good one.
Toy Story was good.
Water World was terrible.
Jumanji was weird.
The Madness of King George was historical.
Outbreak was far fetched.
Tommy Boy was stupid.
A Goofy Movie was unexpectedly good.
Desperado was El Mariachi with a budget.
To Wong Foo was pure trannie propaganda.
Seven was disgusting.
Get Shorty was the one I’ve enjoyed watching several times.
“What did I miss?”
Disney and Pixar were still good.
I liked El Mariachi better.
Things to do in Denver is definitely under appreciated.
I got a phone call from a buddy who had taken another hitch when I left the Navy. He mentioned just getting back to port and seeing the newly released Crimson Tide. I asked him how realistic it was, his reply “Well, the Chiefs are fat.”
Sometimes Hollywood gets it by accident.
Ha! Well, they had to have some drama . . .
I’ll have to go watch Apollo 13 again. I don’t remember it quite that way …
Huh, maybe I remembered a different movie . . .
(in truth it was included earlier in July)
Saw the notorious “Kids” at a local theater that summer. It was adults-only, so my late mother had to accompany my friend and I. Interesting experience.
Missed that one. I can imagine it was, umm, interesting.
Because you mistyped “As usual, sequels are included on the list…” instead of “excluded”, I’m gonna mentioned Goldeneye. I always liked Pierce Brosnan as James Bond, and this is his best one.
As a dutiful husband, I took my beloved wife to see The Bridges of Madison County and enjoyed it. Anything with Meryl in it is worth watching, and Clint has a rarely seen tender side onscreen when the role calls for it. As an animal fan, we also went to see the enjoyable Babe. To quote from another pig classic (Charlotte’s Web), that was some pig. As she was a band mom, we also had to go see Mr. Holland’s Opus. Richard Dreyfus was great, I remember being misty eyed at the end.
In 1995 I had a vanity plate of CYBRPNK on my convertible, so of course I went to see Keanu Reeves staring in the disappointing misfire of Jonny Mnemonic, one of William Gibson’s lesser cyberpunk novels. It would be another four years before Keanu hit the cyberpunk jackpot in 1999 with The Matrix, so at least JM can take credit for getting Keanu on the path to sci-fi stardom. (An aside – the ultimate cyberpunk novel, Gibson’s “Neuromancer”, is now in production as a TV series on Apple TV. Long declared (correctly) as “unfilmable”, the story has never been more relevant with the current rise of AI, even as it has itself become somewhat dated. Its iconic hard-boiled opening line of “The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.” harkens back to the static filed screens of CRT TVs that were left behind in the 1980s and 1990s.)
Hackers was almost as bad as Jonny Mnemonic. Strange Days was strange.
I remember going to see the ridiculous Outbreak, never realizing that its basic stupid premise of creating a miracle cure from scratch in 24 hours to save the world was gonna play out in real life with COVID.
As a huge Mad Max fan, I wanted to like the Australian post-apocalyptic Tank Girl – but didn’t.
Heat was good. So was Casino.
Congo is one of the poorer Crichton adaptations. It aped (rather unsuccessfully) a Steven Spielberg movie.
Species sucked, unable to decide if it wanted to be an alien invasion movie or soft porn.
Apollo 13 was awesome. Clueless was fun. Both are now classics.
Finally, one can argue that the current girlboss trend started in 1995 with The Quick And The Dead, which I enjoyed more than Red Tide because Gene Hackman actually got to pull the trigger – numerous times – and Sharon Stone got to spread her legs not in an interrogation chair but on Main Street during a showdown.
Typo fixed! Thank you!
I liked the movie Babe as well, but was always sorry they didn’t include the REAL sheep password.
Be we ewe or be we ram
Be we mutton or be we lamb
On the hoof or on the hook
We ain’t as stupid as we look
I really liked Goldeneye, and Brosnan is pretty close to my second favorite Bond actor.
What a weak year for movies. Think I saw 3 – Casino, Seven & Grumpier Old Men. Several you listed I’d never heard of.
I think my older daughter saw every one that came out in ’94-96. I’d receive her monthly boarding school statement, with transportation to & from 8 movies every month.
Yup, but every year is a weak year compared to any year in the 1980s.
Gotta join in with the others regarding Casino. Solid film, and John Bloom (“Joe Bob Briggs”) is in it!
I also really liked Dead Presidents. It didn’t get a lot of attention, but I thought it was better than some of the “bigger” films, like Bad Boys. Dead Presidents is about a Vietnam vet who comes home and has trouble fitting in and making his way in life and ends up making some bad decisions. It features the ever-cool Keith David, who should have had a much bigger career. We even saw him on Broadway. Love his work!
We won’t hold the art house against you. My all-time best moviegoing experience was in the early 1980s. A buddy and I drove my gigantic, banana yellow 1969 Dodge Dart out to the local drive-in. We kicked back on the hood, leaning back on the windshield, with a 6-pack between us, to see Fast Times at Ridgemont High, followed by the main feature: The Road Warrior (one of the best drive-in flicks ever). Not gay at all, because we weren’t in the car.
Thanks!
Bob G
Anon-
Takimag dropped JBB a year+ ago, sadly. Is he online anywhere else?
Have an ’80s paper column that he penned. Great response to a comment. “Never believe an Ole Miss girl, as her IQ is likely less than her breast measurement.”
Well, I’ll have to watch it again and look for him. I like Joe Bob.
Two comments, one on a movie you did cover, the other on a movie you didn’t: When I was a senior in high school, my last class on the last day, we ended up watching The Usual Suspects. We probably shouldn’t have. I don’t know why the teacher did that, but ok.
The last bell rang about 10 minutes before the movie ended. About half the class left, and half the class stayed to finish the movie. When the movie ended, those of us who stayed just kind of looked at each other for a minute because we were thinking “They have no idea what movie they just watched.”
It would be really funny to watch that whole movie some time later with one of the people who stopped 10 minutes before the end.
Also, regarding Se7en: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is just the movie Se7en for little kids.
Now, that would be interesting to think what movie they watched.
I like the observation about Seven. Fitting.
John, I had completely forgotten that Rob Roy and Braveheart came out in the same year. Apparently it was “Scotland or Bust” in 1995.
Sense and Sensibility was a really fine film, probably the best of the adaptations of the Jane Austen books starting in that era (and continuing on forever, apparently).
It has been a long time since I have seen Stallone’s Judge Dredd. I do think the 2012 adaptation was better, although more gritty and heck of a lot more violent.
Yeah, I saw them both that year on dates, and thought, huh, there’s a whole lotta Scotland going on.