Who Should Have Won: The 1980s, Part I

“Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say “Yes!” – Ghostbusters

Actors test their skills to the limit when they act happy when someone else wins an Oscar® instead of them.

The first time I tried “who should have won” as a topic, I don’t think I spent enough time on the topics, and it became a list.  I think this is a bit better:  for the first half of the 1980s, what movie won the Best Picture© Academy Award™, and what movie should have won.

Your mileage may vary.

Best Film 1980

Actual Winner:  Ordinary People.

I went to this movie in the theater.  I don’t recall why, but I was probably dragged there by someone older.  I do recall hating, with great intensity, every second of the film, which centered around weak people who couldn’t deal with whatever crap they were going through.  As I was just a kid without a driver’s license, I was stuck there.  The best thing about watching this movie was the box of Raisenettes® and leaving the theater.  In retrospect, the best thing about this movie is that most of the people involved in the production are dead.

Should Have Won:  The Empire Strikes Back.

This movie based around the heartwarming story of a father being reunited with his long-lost son is a classic.  Note also, the father has to face the tragedy of his long-lost daughter getting mixed up with a criminal and a lot of cocaine before.  Spoiler, the criminal gets put on ice by her father, but they are reunited in the end.

Best Film 1981

Actual Winner:  Chariots of Fire.

I have no idea what the Academy® had about people talking in rooms, but 1981 was yet another movie about people talking in rooms.  But the people are old or dead and talk in a British accent, so that makes it classy.  I guess.  I learned quite a bit from this movie, specifically that I would rather have my eyes gouged out with dull spoons than to watch another movie about track athletes.  I watched this movie on a school trip, and all the cool kids went to see Porkuy’s instead, but I stuck around because there was this girl . . . spoiler – she was not worth the seventeen hours that this movie lasted.

Should Have Won:  Gallipoli.

If you’re going to have a historical movie about runners, they should be cool and badass.  These runners were cool and badass, and also were classy because they were dead and spoke with an Aussie accent and there was a senseless war going on.  Bonus points:  St. Mel of Gibson stars.

Best Film 1982

Actual Winner:  Gandhi.

Biopic of the most famous Indian scammer, who ended up scamming hundreds of millions of Indians that they would be better off kicking the British out resulting in the death of millions to tens of millions of Indians.

Should Have Won:  The Thing.

This movie about a castaway trying to make his way through a difficult and challenging world that was completely new to him is engaging.  Seriously, this is one of the best horror movies of all time.  I saw this in the theater about a month after reading Who Goes There, the story by Based SF author John W. Campbell, Jr., and was not disappointed.  Every single frame was perfect, and the ending is seemingly ambiguous.  Critics hated this film and it was a box office bomb.  Time, however has proven them wrong, wrong, wrong.  Bonus:  passes the Inverse Bechdel Test because there are no women in the movie, thus making it better.

Best Film 1983

Actual Winner:  Terms of Endearment.

I rarely cuss, but, damn.  Another stupid movie featuring people with problems talking in rooms.  I’m sure this passes the Bechdel Test which may be why I hate this movie with the burning passion of a thousand suns.  Additionally, dragging this piece of crap down is Shirley MacLaine, who made exactly one good movie in her life, Two Mules for Sister Sara.

Should Have Won:  A Christmas Story.

This movie shows America as it was and is a tale of innocence and honesty.  One of the best movies to have ever been made.

Best Film 1984

Actual Winner:  Amadeus.

I’d like to say this is the best movie ever that was inadvertently funded by Creedence Clearwater Revival (you can look it up) but I’d have to forget about the Lord of the Rings movies.  It was pretty good, but not good enough that I’d pay money to watch it again.

Should Have Won:  Ghostbusters.

Or maybe Red Dawn, which was a close second.  I settled on Ghostbusters because it is a perfect movie.  There are no missed beats.  Is there drama?  Yes, enough to keep the plot going, but not so much to get in the way of the humor.  Murray, Aykroyd, and Ramis are perfect together.  The special effects were good enough, and it was a huge hit.  How big?  It was in the top three grossing films at the box office for sixteen weeks.  Ghostbusters had legs.  It was also a powerful satire of government power causing problems because it is stupid and a hiding place for petty people.

There you have it.  And, this proves the point:  the Academy™ always gets it wrong.

I think this works better than the clunky thing I put out two months ago, but that was about the 1970s, which was an awful decade for movies.  In January, I’ll tackle 1985-1989.

What did I miss?

Author: John

Nobel-Prize Winning, MacArthur Genius Grant Near Recipient writing to you regularly about Fitness, Wealth, and Wisdom - How to be happy and how to be healthy. Oh, and rich.

39 thoughts on “Who Should Have Won: The 1980s, Part I”

  1. Great list, John!

    But I have to disagree on 1982–the only correct answer for Best Picture is another box office disappointment that is now recognized as a masterpiece: Blade Runner.

    No arguments, otherwise. I look forward to the rest of the list!

    Bob G.

    1. I love Blade Runner, I really do. But it is a movie with a lot of flaws. That’s why there’s six or seven versions of it, none of which have a satisfactory ending. The voice-over “happy” ending rammed thru to the theatres by Warner Bros over Ridley Scott’s objections doesn’t even make sense since it is heavily implied that Rachel has a normal life span even though she is a replicant. Scott’s Director Cut ending of the elevator doors closing on Rick and Rachel to allow for a sequel isn’t much better. The Final Cut focuses on fleshing out the stupid unicorn dream scenes instead of really trying to improve the human aspects of the movie. Blade Runner is a landmark film, but it’s not of Best Picture stature. IMHO, YMMV.

    2. It was quite an achievement at the time, and PKD liked it. E.T. killed it at the box office. Also, peak Sean Young.

  2. The special effects in Ghostbusters were just the rough cuts. The schedule was so tight, the FX team never got a chance to clean them up.

  3. 1981 should have won: Excalibur. Or Raiders of the Lost Ark. Or Stripes. Or Time Bandits. Or Outland. Or Escape from New York. Or Heavy Metal. Or Das Boot. Or maybe even Cannonball Run.

  4. Nobody remembers Ordinary People. Hundreds of millions of people remember The Empire Strikes Back, aka the best sequel of all time (I don’t count The Two Towers as an actual sequel).

    Nuff said.

  5. My Shoulda Won List:

    1980 – Shogun. Technically a TV miniseries about Clavell’s novel, but included in most movie lists for that year. Richard Chamberlain still had a lot of nostalgic draw as an actor from his previous work in Dr. Kildare back in the 1960s. Basically the story of an astronaut who crashes on an alien planet, only feudal Japan. At the time, Shogun was a pop culture icon.

    1981 – On Golden Pond. A classic Hollywood character study with a top performance by a Golden Era leading actor and actress duo, this movie had a lot going against it to win an award. Jane was toxic after Vietnam, Redford had won on a similar themed movie the year before, and aging is a downer subject for a movie, only surpassed in downerness by futilely storming a machine-gun laden beach. Much better to have young, healthy bodies running in triumph on said beach to sell tickets.

    1982 – Quest For Fire. Incredible acting, incredible cinematography, deft balancing of drama and humor about the two most important discoveries in human history – fire and the missionary position. The Academy judges overlooked this as a contender because they thought it was filmed from a time machine instead of by a studio. And because it was French.

    1983 – The Right Stuff. A box office bomb over three hours long that suffers from a dramatic standpoint by not having a single hero to focus upon because they’re all heroes. But this film is the ultimate patriotic depiction of what makes both Americans and humans special in their first steps of conquering the final frontier.

    1984 – The Bounty. Anthony Hopkins and Mel Gibson in a visually stunning and historically accurate version of the most famous mutiny of all time. A box office bomb with $8 million in ticket sales against a production budget of $25 million leaving a sour taste in the mouth of all who participated in the grueling filming yet delivering a performance that got four out of four Roger Ebert stars But, alas, no Best Pix Academy Award.

    But don’t get me wrong. Empire, Thing and Ghostbusters are all on my fav list, too!

    1. I’m okay with everything but 1981. The last thing I need to see are two commies on screen at the same time.

  6. When I heard Chariots of Fire was coming out, I thought here we go baby, its got chariots, its got fire, there will be explosions.

    Hollywood loves movies about solipsistic people talking in rooms because interior sets are cheap and exterior sets and shots are expensive.

  9. After viewing Wiki listings of movies from 1980-84, just amazed what was produced then vs. the crap now. I’m basing my Best Pics on what I either saw (theater or TV) or have on VCRs & DVDs (yeah, have a 14 yr. old Stupid TV w/ the 3 plug-ins).

    1980: Caddyshack or Used Cars
    1981: 3 way tie…History of the World, Part I; Stripes; Escape from NYC (history repeats, right?)
    1982: First Blood or Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid
    1983: Scarface or Sudden Impact; wanted to include The Big Chill, as it was filmed where I live – home of The Fillin’ Station, Beaufort’s 5-Star Dive Bar
    1984: Repo Man or Tank

    Just wondering…has a comedy ever won Best Pic?

    2. Per Grok: Has a comedy film ever won Best Picture?

      Yes, two comedy films have won the Academy Award for Best Picture:

      • It Happened One Night (1934): A screwball romantic comedy directed by Frank Capra, starring Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert. It was the first film to sweep the five major Oscars (Picture, Director, Actor, Actress, and Screenplay).

      • Annie Hall (1977): A romantic comedy directed by and starring Woody Allen, with Diane Keaton. It beat out Star Wars for the top prize and is often cited as a landmark in comedic filmmaking.

      No other pure comedies have won since, though films with strong comedic elements (like The Artist in 2011 or The Shape of Water in 2017) have occasionally taken the award. The Oscars tend to favor dramas overall.

      IMHO, the fact that Blazing Saddles did not get Best Picture is a monumental failure on the academy’s part (and I realize it was released in 1974 but still … )

      1. AFD-

        Kudos. Am at Sweetie’s penthouse in the Medical District of Chucktown tonite overlooking the Ashley River Marina. It’s the boat migration season from New Engkland to Palm Beach.

        Five or so 200′ plus, 3-4 levels above the main deck. Walked down to Salty Mike’s while she was babysitting 3 hrs. for a 375 ml of Jameson’s. The former Board Secretariat of ING Americas (now VOYA) negoitates a high price. Well, she left the med students a 2018 Bordeaux that I bought at HarrisTeeter.

        Best line in Annie Hall – “There’s a spider the size of a Buick in my bathroom!”

        As I noted, we view on our stoopid TV Blazing et al regularly. I left out “Easy Money”, which I think is Rodney’s best. Written by PJ & Rodney.

    3. I can agree with all of them except Big Chill and Tank. I couldn’t stay awake through The Big Chill, and Tank is a good TV movie.

  10. Our movie is going to suck.

    I suggest everybody who hasn’t seen The Chekist. Watch it

  12. I completely agree with your list of who should have won, although it is a tough one with Blade Runner versus the Thing. But the Oscars are based off what was released in the theaters and the theatrical release of Blade Runner was inferior to the Thing.

    1. Terminator, yeah. Underrated movie; it was straightforward “hard sci-fi” that didn’t abuse the viewer’s suspension of disbelief much beyond its scifi premise, and didn’t rely on the Idiot Ball to keep the plot going.

      (Tho, annoying plot hole: when Ahnold crashed that cop car into the parking garage wall, HE JUST SNUCK AWAY? BS. He’d’a waded thru those cops, reached down her throat, et cetera.)

  14. “There you have it. And, this proves the point: the Academy™ always gets it wrong.”

    No surprise really as the Academy Awards (and film critics in general) are all about virtue signalling. If it is written, directed and/or a story about minorities, then it is automatically the front-runner and will get multiple awards no matter how ridiculous the movie (I’m talking about you Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon).

    If there is no DEI movie to choose from, then awards will got to the picture that best represents whatever social issue reflects Hollywood’s beliefs that year. Quality and entertainment value simply don’t matter to them.

    If after all of the above, there is still not a clear choice then it will default to whatever movie best stokes Hollywood’s narcissistic ego (e.g. La La Land).

  15. I’m nitpicking, but there *WAS* a female in THE THING. The voice of the computer that Kurt Russell refers to as a “cheatin’ bitch” when he is beaten in a game of chess is female, and it’s actually the voice of actress Adrienne Barbeau, who at the time was John Carpenters wife.

  16. 1980: Used Cars.
    1981: …All The Marbles and Porky’s can duke this one out. A tie would be fine with me. So Fine was pretty damn worthy too and I wouldn’t mind awarding Jack Warden’s work in back to back years
    1982: The Last American Virgin — most daring unhappy ending of the decade deserves some recognition. I’ll bump it up over Fast Times since Sean Penn isn’t in it.
    1983: Risky Business, though Chained Heat is one of the very best of its kind. I’d certainly give John Vernon best supporting actor.
    1984: we have Beverly Hills Cop, Sixteen Candles, and Revenge of the Nerds all un-PC as hell to challenge Ghostbusters, which is worthy. I can’t decide.

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