“So I really am important? How I feel when I’m drunk is correct?” – Futurama
When I went to the hospital and they were done with the surgery I asked if I could do the stitches. The doctor said, “Suture self.”
This past weekend The Mrs. was in the hospital. No, it wasn’t the ‘Rona (really) but instead it was scurvy. I told The Mrs. that she should have eaten that pineapple, but, no. She refused.
We didn’t intend to take her to the hospital, but the doctor sort-of insisted after running a batch of tests which included things that shoot radiation at her and other things that have rotating magnets. There was a lot of blood drawn, but even though I asked to do the parts that would cause The Mrs. pain myself, they declined.
The short version is that after several gallons of intravenous antibiotic, The Mrs. got a lot better. The doctor described the infection as guacamole. He said it was the technical term that medical professionals use to describe sickness, with the antibiotic that slowly scooped the guacamole out by a basket of tortilla chips. I hate technical talk like that, I mean, I don’t even like guacamole. I’m more of a salsa guy.
I guess I should have been tipped off when he told me the special was the chimichanga plate with refritos.
After about 36 hours, they booted The Mrs. out. She feels better, but is not quite at 100% as I write this. One virtue of having a sick relative is that it clears away a lot of the mundane things that we deal with daily. We are used to life being normal – get up when the alarm goes off, shower (every other week) get gallons of coffee, and deal with that five-minute commute to work. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and months turn into late notices if I forget to pay the natural gas bill. All of this, of course, is accompanied by the theme song of the latest news and outrages that are taking place in Washington or points further away where they wear funny hats and have no idea how to properly make barbeque sauce, like Texas.
I like Texas, and I hear one of their neighbors is OK.
When events like The Mrs. being in the hospital intrude, everything that’s normal takes a back seat. Things that were important fade into the squabbling trivialities that they really are. The events of our lives that define them aren’t the minutes we drain into offices and cubicles, but rather the impact felt on our lives by others and the impact that we provide to the lives of others. At least that’s what it said on the Hallmark® card, but it was in a really fancy script.
The important moments in our lives are really that, moments. One problem I’ve noted in myself is that I tend to be able to be swallowed by the constant noise of the days turning into weeks. I turn my head down and find that another year has passed.
We also argued about how global warming wasn’t a threat, but that was anti-climactic.
What do I have to show for that year? How have I gotten better? What have I accomplished? Whose lives have I touched, I mean, within the limits of those restraining orders?
The soundtrack of our lives is often the things that we can impact only in the most negligible way, unless of course you’re the guy who makes sure that Biden doesn’t trade the nuclear codes for an extra pudding at dinner. But regardless of our roles on the local, state, or national stage, all of us can impact the lives of the individuals that are close to us.
Sometimes those efforts take years. Pugsley is growing into a fine young man, but we fought a titanic battle for years. Raising a boy can be like that, especially if he’s as stubborn as his father. And he is. We even have arguments over who is more stubborn.
You can’t argue with Pete Buttigieg. He’s not thinking straight.
On the other end of the spectrum, though, a chance comment might be the gentle stir of a butterfly’s wings. Just with a single word or phrase, you never know whose life you might change, either for better or worse. Even now, I can still remember that nice gentleman in the grocery store asking me, “Are you sure you need to buy a dozen doughnuts?”
Then there are those whose lives we touch who we never will meet. In my case, for writing P.J. O’Rourke was a big influence – he was prolific and funny and the grocery store clerk had no idea she was selling a really grown-up magazine when I handed over my cash for the latest issue of National Lampoon. There are other mentors that I have met only in books, whose lives and words have inspired and continue to inspire me today.
Day-to-day life can take me away from focusing on what is really important. There are times when I thought I was making a lot of progress, and instead I was just walking in big circles. Having a guidepost and a goal, even if (and perhaps especially) that goal can never, ever be met.
This was something I already knew, but that’s the insidious nature of the daily grind, it can make you forget those things that are important. There is a joy in losing self in action and work, but there is a danger, too – losing sight of the things that are the core of existence. It’s like going out to dinner and ordering something besides steak. I mean, if there’s steak on the menu, why do you need any other pages in the menu?
My crazy high school girlfriend is like that cheap grill I bought – they were both smoking hot and burned the house down.
As I said, The Mrs. is better, but not 100%. She’ll never run a marathon, but the last time I saw her run at all was in 2014, so I don’t think she’ll lose any sleep over that. One side effect of her no longer storing the guacamole, the doctor said, is that she might lose an inch or two in height over the next two months. I guess The Mrs. will have to learn how to be a little patient.
Texas BBQ sauce? The only real BBQ sauce is made with mustard, vinegar & pepper flakes & comes from the low country of SC. Hehe.
That’s the one The Mrs. favors.
Life has a way of intruding and putting things into perspective.
Yes, yes it does. So does beer . . .
Dear John and Mrs.,
I am very glad that your “one moment in time” is improving and that the Mrs. will be better soon. You are so right about how life can turn on a dime (as the folks in Ukraine definitely know), but you are under-stating your impact on the rest of the world. I read your blog every day and have learned a lot about life from your insights. And I feel that you and your commenters have become my friends.
My family are farmers. Our lives are controlled by the seasons and the cycles of growth and renewal. Pretty much every day is the same, with very little variation. The one-offs that intrude (livestock escaping, the well going dry, ice and snowstorms, the $2000 truck inspection, … my parents dying) are striking and painful. I have come to love “boring” and “repetitive.”
Yesterday, DH and I took a rare daytrip to buy baby hazelnut trees from a great nursery called Edible Landscaping – no affiliation, just a really cool place. The round trip was about 5 hours so it was what we call “an adventure.” As I carried by 3-inch pots into the house, it occurred to me that I had just spent a bunch of $ and a goodly chunk of my workday to obtain something that, at my age, I will not ever see produce nuts. This is called “optimism” by those who are kind.
You, my friend, are one of the most optimistic, yet realistic, people I have never met. Know that we support you and appreciate you and are ready to share your life, trials, tribulations, all.
Keep writing. Keep going. Call out if you need us.
Virgina Granny more than half of our preps are for our kids and grandkids.
Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. – Martin Luther
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. – Chinese proverb
Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant. – Robert Louis Stevenson
No occupation is so delightful to me as the culture of the earth, and no culture comparable to that of a garden. – Thomas Jefferson
John, I am happy that your beloved is out of the hospital and sharing life with you. I have a hospital visit Tuesday of some concern about my sweetheart. It’s not easier nor more fun when you’re a health care worker family, as you both know more about things.
Praying for wisdom and some peace of mind, a lot going on right now.
Thank you.
My prayers are with you for Tuesday.
“it occurred to me that I had just spent a bunch of $ and a goodly chunk of my workday to obtain something that, at my age, I will not ever see produce nuts. ”
civilization depends on it
Thank you so kindly for the wonderful words – it is people like you who produce by planting trees under which we’ll never sit that make this entire world a better one.
Again, thank you so much.
PJ O’Rourke was a big influence…
Bought all of his books. Saw the NatLamp issue with the dog on the cover, bought it and subscribed. But, his greatest accomplishment was being the co-writer of “Easy Money” with Rodney, which is my favorite Rodney film.
I love that movie. Very, very underrated, IMHO.
I still remember cracking the cover of Modern Manners. Great writing.
I was hospitalized lasy year for a massive infection I didn’t even know I had. Not a fun gig.
As you say, it’s an even that makes one step back and take stock. Cue Tim Urban.
https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/11/life-is-picture-but-you-live-in-pixel.html
https://waitbutwhy.com/2016/10/100-blocks-day.html
https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/05/life-weeks.html
https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/12/the-tail-end.html
I’m thankful for you all that the Mrs. is feeling better, and hope she continues to improve.
She is. Was pretty feisty this evening. Wanted to rearrange kitchen cabinets.
Funny you should mention…
For the last week or so, my wife has been dealing with a serious ear infection. Her ear canal is completely blocked, so getting medication in there to clear the blockage is only marginally possible. We are using antibiotics to clear the infection, and hopefully the swelling will reduce so that the material in question can be removed.
My point is that this is something we hadn’t thought of. Neither of us has ever had an ear infection, so this was never on our radar. I have now taken the time to obtain suitable equipment for future needs, but we have had some things to think about during this process.
One of those is that, once again, we are confronted by the wisdom ol’ Hognose used to repeat, where anything, absolutely anything you do can result in your death (so make each day count, being the subtext). Once again, it is shown that you just never know.
With all the other things going on right now, and with certain outcomes seemingly more and more likely with each passing day (now, where is my copy of Fallout 4?), we are considering the recently-discovered holes in our preps from a different perspective.
You just never know.
Best wishes to your dear wife, and to you sir.
That was what started it with The Mrs., an ear infection that wouldn’t clear . . . prayers that you get it cleared up!
Very glad to read the spousal unit is on the mend and doing better. Nothing more life changing then a loved one having to go into the hospital system for a chance at survival. In November 2010 my wife was diagnosed with stage 1 rectal cancer that change in a few weeks to stage 2, and when the surgeon did his magic stage 3. Through September 2011 we existed in a new normal of constant hospital visits for radiation and chemotherapy (which kicked her ass big time). Happily, I can report she has been cancer free, and we no longer have to drive to the Cancer Care Center. Looking back, I still don’t know how the hell I balanced work and care giver duties.
With the degrade in my personal trust for the medical hobby shops we call the medical industry over the last couple of years it is great to read that someone has actually survived their care and lived to fight another day.
On a serious note, being a former Strategic Air Command (SAC or as we called it Simulate, Authenticate, and Cheat) aircrew having pulled numerous tours of nuclear alert, I am watching closely the asshats in DC make a bad situation much worse. Lt Col LInda Graham (former JAG Officer) needs to shut is pie hole along with the rest of the talking heads about knocking off Putin. Do not poke the bear as you will not like the results. Nobody wants to go to DEFCON 1.
Thanks again for your musings as I look forward to them for some comic relief as we continue our decent into clown world.
Yes – it took three visits to get her to actually see a doctor.
And DEFCON 1? There are a lot of offramps. I hope we take them.
And thank you for the kind words.
What is it with blogger’s wives lately? First Remus, then Gorges, Stilton and now yours. It would appear that associating with those of us of a certain persuasion makes for a rather mortal threat to health and longevity.
No offense, JW, but if I see you coming, I’m crossing to the other side of the street.
Ha! I’ll come visit some weekend and expect to stay at your place. No one expects the Wilder Imposition!
Good to hear that Mrs. the Mrs. is, if not quite “well,” at least in a manageable situation. I joined this week’s “Bombs and Bants” a few minutes after it started (most weeks, I don’t make it at all, so that’s better), and it had been going for a while before I realized that I wasn’t hearing anything from her. I was concerned. Please pass along my respects.
And that best of all National Lampoon covers, the one with “Buy this magazine, or we’ll shoot the dog.” Later in my life, I saw that as an analogy to the relationship between pro-life voters and Republican “pro-life” politicos. I wrote about it on my old blog. I think both Major Brand Parties do the “or we’ll shoot the dog” thing with their voters, while delivering the real goods to their huge (and mostly corporate) donors.
I started reading it after that cover was out, but now I (happily) own .pdfs of all of them.
Well, it’s past breakfast time, so unfortunately time to comptemplate the depressing stuff…
https://journal-neo.org/2022/03/03/the-crisis-we-re-in/
“The Russians and their leadership don’t care anymore. We, the community of nations that comprise the NATO military country club, finally pushed too far. There’s no more room to wiggle. Russia is backed up to her own living room. And Putin just kicked open the screen door and slammed a round into the chamber of a pump shotgun. If the people in Washington, London, and Brussels don’t back the hell off of Russia’s porch, the yard dogs of Kyiv won’t be the only ones yelping from the sting of buckshot.”
https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/4956/production/_122647781_nato_member_states_10jan_map640-2x-nc.png
https://www.britannica.com/topic/North-Atlantic-Treaty-Organization
https://cdn.britannica.com/29/160029-050-A7DE9A5D/Map-countries-partner-member-North-Atlantic-Treaty.jpg
You ready to press the Big Red Nuke Button for the 14 new NATO members in this map? That’s what “NATO Membership” and “Article 5” have always meant…
Lol. I’m late today, it’s 10:55 am PST but breakfast is over so doom away. : )
PS John I hope your wife is doing much better.
Much better! Each day there is improvement.
Why do we need NATO again?
in september of 2020, my wife of 39 years and i went to see the dr. who did her biopsy. she was told she didn’t have breast cancer. she had angio sarcoma. after several more biopsies, 3 surgeries and months of chemo, the dr at md anderson said he had done all he could for her, that her body couldn’t take any more chemo. that was at the end of 2021 or thereabouts. the days all run together. anyway, she had an appointment with him today to go over the ct scan she had yesterday for her follow up i called her (i’m at work) when i thought she was on her way in and she told me she was on her way home with good news. her dr said she is doing GREAT, she looks great and he’s very proud of her (as he should be) he’s doing God’s work. so i get EXACTLY where you’re coming from. God Bless both of you and all of your family
God Bless both of you! How wonderful!!!!
Piker.
I’ve spent well north of 5000 days in the hospital, and just like Beetlejuice watching The Exorcist, “it keeps getting funnier every time I see it!”
But if you have a choice, I highly recommend the view from outside the bed, rather than inside it. Especially if they’re paying you. If they’re not paying you, try and avoid hospitals to the greatest extent you possibly can. That stuff’s expensive.
Best wishes and felicitations on that little interruption. But remember, the commercials are awful, so that we’ll enjoy the regular program all the more when it comes back on.
I was originally going to call it “The Funniest Hospital Story You’ll Read All Day” but figured you’d take that as a challenge.
Wednesday should be a doozy of a post.
John, glad Mrs. W is doing well.
To quote that genius, Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it”.
Indeed – best message from that movie.
So glad to read that the Mrs is back home and improving. May she continues to do so.
She is. Was even grumpy today.
Did you use a still from a Rehab video for a meme?
Did I? (I have no idea)
So sorry, John, but praise be. As a semi-recent hospital detainee… yeah, praise be. Prayers for the Mrs. and her family. Hang in, and keep fighting the good fight.
Let’s both of us avoid them for a decade or two? Sound good?