The Best News of 2019? No Excuses.

“No.  That’s not fair.  ‘Cause I’m a victim, too.  Was a victim first, before him.” – Fargo (TV)

columbus

Columbus learned quickly that even discovering a new continent wasn’t enough to hide from the student loan debt collectors.

In a previous post Global Obesity, Axel Rose, and at Least One Orphan Joke I talked about how the world and Axl Rose were both getting fatter, and pointed out some of the reasons for it.  In the comments, Ricky correctly noted that perhaps I’d skipped the biggest reason people were getting fatter:  they had to control what was going down their throat.

Of course he was right.  If you’re overweight (and I include myself in that), it’s because PEBCAP.  PEBCAP means, of course, that the Problem Exists Between Chair And Plate.  And one rule I learned at my own expense is that there is no number of cookies that I can eat that will make me not want to have more cookies.

valkilmer

Did Pavlov think about feeding his dogs every time he heard a bell?

Because although cookies are filled with enough sugar and carbohydrates to be banned by the United Nations as a poison illegal for use in modern warfare, they are tasty, tasty poison.

The intent of that post was to highlight some of the causes that were contributing to the global rise of obesity, plus make fun of Axl Rose.  In no way was it supposed to provide an excuse to give up and say, “Okay, that’s it.  I’m just going to live with being 500 pounds.  There’s absolutely nothing to be done about it.”  And if I choke to death on gummy bears, I hope that in my obituary it just reads, “John Wilder killed by bears.”

koala

What do you call bears without ears?  B.

It probably will surprise exactly zero regular readers when I say that in life, there are no excuses that are valid other than:

  • “I’m only five years old.”
  • “I’ve just been hit by an asteroid.”

And even if you are five years old, quit making excuses.  That mill isn’t going to run itself.

childlabor

The good news is that she just made foreman.

When it comes to nearly every circumstance you will ever face, your life will be better if you remember these four little words:

  • There are no excuses.

There are two corollary statements to that:

  • No one is coming to save you.
  • No one wants to hear you whine.*

Misery and blaming the world for your problems isn’t what anyone wants to hear.*  That’s not to say that people won’t help you.  They will help you.  And that’s not to say that people won’t listen to your problems.  They will listen.  But what people won’t put up with is you having the same problem for years at a time and you taking no action to fix it.  People won’t put up with you constantly blaming everything else but you for your problems.

drama

If you don’t like drama, don’t be executive producer of every episode.

Embedded in this is some great news.  Perhaps the best news that anyone will ever get:

You get to control your own life.  You get to make your choices.  You get to feel whatever you choose to feel.  You get to try your best.  And when you fail (not if, when) you get to try again.

And, you get to take credit it for it, and own it all.

*Except your ex.  They love hearing your pain.

Author: John

Nobel-Prize Winning, MacArthur Genius Grant Near Recipient writing to you regularly about Fitness, Wealth, and Wisdom - How to be happy and how to be healthy. Oh, and rich.

34 thoughts on “The Best News of 2019? No Excuses.”

      1. Reminds me of a joke, maybe you heard it before? The punch line is: nope, that ain’t Bubba…b’caus everywhere we went…people would say “there goes Bubba with them 2 assholes…”

  2. Hit this one out of the park sir. EXCELLENT read and logic presented. Bask in the sound of your awesomeness !! :^)

    I hear the hisses and “Boos” from the people who consider themselves victims. Face your fear(s) and get on with your Life.

  3. She’s a little young to be a forman…..

    https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Foreman&page=2

    That’s a Lewis Hine photo. He took plenty more, and his work led to the end of child labor in America.

    https://www.google.com/search?q=lewis+hine+photo+gallery&rlz=1C1SQJL_enUS781US781&sxsrf=ACYBGNRT-QzjLQZZyd5ukXzxQMkZojKAGQ:1579266444143&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwignqL72YrnAhUHRKwKHVawBOoQ_AUoAXoECGoQAw&biw=1280&bih=649&dpr=3

    1. I prefer to think “If you find the right day care provider, the textile mill pays *you*”, but have it your way.

    3. Thanks! Nice link – some amazing photos of a world that many would like to forget.

      And she was only promoted because she was always on time.

  4. Reading your latest, started a song running through my head to the tune of the old Dr. Pepper Commercial. “ I’m a victim
    He’s a victim
    She’s a victim
    We’re a victim
    Wouldn’t you like to be a victim too!

    2. Exactly. And those people are no fun, unless you’re in a position to make them even more paranoid . . . (not that I’ve done this in an office setting before)

  5. It’s coincidental I read your post, right after I paid my monthly spousal support for the ex. Five more payments, and it’s over. I don’t know if she relishes my pain, but have a feeling she does.

    1. I already am – maybe I should cut back on the pizza. And he’s super skinny. I heard he could fit up a ’65 Buick tailpipe without hitting the sides.

  7. Sometimes I will indulge a little schadenfreude and Google* ‘Where are they now?’ photos of former idols, such as the aforementioned Axl Rose and Val Kilmer. Just to feel all smug and virtuous for staying put instead of ballooning up along with everyone else. But that quickly loses its appeal when there is literally no one else in my circle to share my guilty pleasure with. Fat people tend to be more than a little touchy about their ‘condition’.

    The excuses being offered without irony include everything from genetics to space aliens. Our poor DNA suffers no end of abuse for allegedly compelling us to inhale Krispy Kremes by the dozen while mainlining Mountain Dew. And don’t get me started on the rampant overuse of ‘stress’ as justification for pounding home the Ben and Jerry’s (looking at YOU, numerous female coworkers).

    Personal responsibility and accountability seem to have taken a permanent holiday here in this overlarge nation of ours. The wife has corrected me numerous times when I think I am seeing dirty heroin needles on the street, only to learn that these are used insulin syringes, instead. Whole lotta Type 2 diabetics out there, and they only get larger, younger and more numerous year by year.

    What finally worked for me after decades of banging my head against the wall was VVLC – Very, Very Low Carb. I hover in keto country nearly all the time now, and as a result, weigh less today than I did in high school. Maybe it wouldn’t work for everyone (daughter-in-law insists with a completely straight face that she “could not live” without Nutella) but for me its been a life-altering experience. I believe that there are abundant signs on this journey that we ignore at our peril, and a billboard-sized one for me read, “Ditch the bread, dummy!” Success feeds on itself (heh) and no excuses are necessary.

    *Actually, DuckDuckGo via Tor browser, but this does not roll off the tongue quite as easily as “Google”.

    1. A friend of ours says “Eat vegan before 6 PM, then anything you want for dinner” has helped her lose some weight. That seems useful to me. This doesn’t mean sucking down a quart of ice cream after supper, though.

      It stunned me to hear that the idea of not eating between dinner and breakfast is now called “intermittent fasting”, as if it’s a bold new idea. Along the lines of “Sober January”, where not getting hammered for a whole month is an exotic spiritual practice some folks are getting curious about.

      1. Yeah, the whole notion of “three square meals a day” is an alien concept to most folks now, it seems. Grazing constantly has become the norm, and formal meals the exception. I work with a guy (a ‘kid’, really, age 21) who is known to grab a Monster energy drink and two bags of chips from the vending machine for his “mid-morning snack”. No surprise, he is badly overweight already. He has to know what he is doing to himself, for the kid ain’t no dummy. He just eats like one.

        1. I think you might be surprised at the number of people who don’t understand cause and effect. But not by the number of people that can rationalize evidence away (including your author).

      2. Yeah. Amazing. I think a lot of people eat, not because they’re hungry, but because they’re bored . . . .

    2. The Mrs. is low carbing it. I find that works for me until I rationalize that pure sugar “doesn’t have many carbs.”

  8. People won’t put up with you constantly blaming everything else but you for your problems. …

    Unless they can leverage those problems for status, power, and (sometimes) wealth. Then they’ll hand you a mic.

    I work for the gummint. NGOs are even dirtier.

    Meanwhile the Daughter Product loved the B-ears joke.

    By the way, the mindset “I’m X now but I soon (for various values of “soon”) will not be because I’m doing productive behaviors Y and Z” is heartening, even if the reduction in X is minimal at first.

  9. Unconfirmed reports from the set of Top Gun II: Maverick have Val Kilmer doing a cameo appearance.
    (Or was it an Oreo appearance?)
    At any rate, the rumor has it his new call sign is “Icebox”.
    Or maybe “Iceberg”.

    Tip your waitresses.
    Try the veal.

    1. It’s not Iceberg, unless he has a lot of ranch on it.

      I think there’s an Elvis joke in here, too, but it’s late.

  10. Pavlov’s dogs? Salivating army. Pavlov gave up research and went to work for Bell and Howell.

    The one never-ending rule at our house is no whining. That’s everybody; us, the children, and now the grandchildren. It is taking some time with the grandchildren, as the oldest one is 7. You can talk about what happened. You can ask where you went wrong. You can even say, one time, that it wasn’t right. But from there no more complaining, bitching, etc., etc. No whining. Do you need help? You will get whatever we can get. You need encouragement? You will get it. And so on. But you cannot whine.

    The intermittent fasting, very low carbs, and smaller meals does wonders for your weight. Is it a challenge? Uh, yeah. What good thing have you ever obtained without a challenge?

    1. Ohhh, the puns – I love ’em.

      Again, deserve is the worst word in the English language. I (seriously) wouldn’t let the kids say it growing up.

      1. “Are you SURE you want what you deserve? Mercy is still on the table… Going once…”

        “…use every man after his desert, and who shall scape whipping?”

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