“We can teach these barbarians a lesson in Western methods and efficiency that will put them to shame. We’ll show them what the British soldier is capable of doing.” – The Bridge on the River Kwai
Air combat in the Pacific as taught by public schools in 2019.
The Mrs. and I were discussing politics, and she tossed out an interesting question:
The Mrs.: “Is the Left going to have a Bridge on the River Kwai moment?”
I thought that was a great question, but it requires some backstory.
It was a condition of my proposal to The Miss that if she wanted to become The Mrs., that she’d have to watch several movies that dripped with toxic masculinity and testosterone. Patton, Zulu, The Man Who Would Be King, and any movie involving Clint Eastwood were required watching (among others).
The Mrs. said she’d seen most of the Eastwood movies already. The Mrs. hadn’t seen Hang ‘em High, so we watched that in the hotel on our honeymoon. Most of it. Okay, parts of it.
Okay, I promise these will make sense in a few paragraphs.
The Bridge on the River Kwai was included in that list of “must watch” movies. I decided to re-watch it last week after I started to write this post. I wrangled Pugsley into watching it with me. Pugsley’s a teen now, and the movie is a pretty powerful one that he’d never seen. As the movie opened to the scene of dense jungle, Pugsley asked, “What’s this (movie) about?”
John Wilder: “Well, it’s about a World War II prisoner of war camp . . .”
Pugsley: “No, you mean Vietnam.” He gestured at the jungle. Vietnam occurred 50 years ago. World War II was 75 years ago. To a teen? It’s all ancient history. Heck, Star Wars™ debuted 32 years after World War II ended. It’s now been 42 years since Star Wars© came out. Star Wars® is closer in time to World War II than we are to the opening night of Star Wars™. Feeling old?
John Wilder: “You do realize that we fought in the Pacific as well as in Europe in World War II?”
Pugsley: “Oh.” He looked doubtful, like he thought my mind was slipping, but let it pass.
To a teen in 2019, WWII is as far in the past as a world without flight was when I was a teen. Growing up I knew all about the kill ratio of the Phantom F-4 vs. the MiG in Vietnam, but next to nothing about World War I aviation other than Germans pilots apparently ate a lot of pizza:
Notice that he’s smoking. I’m sure that’s what killed him – I’ve been told those cigarettes are dangerous!
The Bridge on the River Kwai is a 1957 movie about Vietnam World War II. In it, a group of mainly British prisoners of war are in a camp in the Burmese jungle. As in real life, these soldiers were being forced by the Japanese to build a railroad so that the Japanese could have better logistics resupplying their troops in Burma.
The movie focuses around a particular bridge that needs to be completed in order to finish the railroad on time. Never since the pyramids were built has civil engineering been so exciting and sexy: piling depths, soil bearing capacity, number of cubic yards of dirt moved, surveying . . . riveting! Okay, no rivets since they were making the bridge out of wood.
In the opening scene a British colonel marches in to camp with his officers and soldiers, after being ordered to surrender in Singapore. The Japanese colonel and the British colonel engage in a battle of will. Since the actor playing the British colonel is the same actor that played Obi Wan Kenobi™ in Star Wars®, obviously not long into the movie the Japanese colonel’s will is crushed.
Colonel Kenobi: “These aren’t the troops you’re looking for.” Photoshop credit: The Boy.
Soon, the British colonel is directing his men to perform higher quotas of work than the Japanese had set for them. In order to show the Japanese how Englishmen act, Colonel Kenobi demands that his men not sabotage the bridge, but do proper, quality work. Not long after Colonel Kenobi arrives, an American barely escapes. The actor that played the American wasn’t in Star Wars©, so I have no idea if he could use the force.
Arriving at a rear base in India, the American is encouraged to join a commando group that will destroy the bridge over the Kwai. And, by encouraged I mean not “volunteered” but “voluntold.” My kids are voluntold about a lot of things, but I have never sent them to blow up a Japanese bridge in Burma. Maybe next summer, since they haven’t successfully completed mowing my lawn yet this summer. Baby steps.
The commandos, including the American who wasn’t in Star Wars© make it to the bridge and plant explosives. In order to add a ticking clock – they are going to blow up the bridge just as a trainload of high-ranking Japanese officials are using the train to go to the Japanese Death Star®.
See, I told you they would make sense.
As the train is approaching, Colonel Kenobi sees the electrical cord hooked up to the bridge – the other part is hooked to a Looney Tunes®-style detonator that is out of sight. Oops. Colonel Kenobi and the Japanese colonel go to investigate. When the colonels get close to the detonator, a young commando kills the Japanese colonel. Colonel Kenobi then yells for help. To the Japanese troops.
***SPOILER ALERT ON A 62 YEAR OLD MOVIE***
After the young commando is killed by the Japanese, who have much better aim than Stormtroopers™, the American, who is across the river, attempts to swim and detonate the explosives. The American is shot, but as the American is dying, Colonel Kenobi recognizes him as the escaped prisoner from earlier in the movie. Colonel Kenobi is jolted back, and looks at the bodies of the two officers that are on the same side as he is that died because of his actions . . . his actions to save “his” bridge.
Oops.
In a moment of clarity, he says the four most important words of the movie: “What have I done?”
This is the payoff for the whole movie. And it’s worth it – the only thing missing is a coyote chasing a road runner with a detonator that old . . .
That is The Bridge on the River Kwai moment, when the Colonel realized that, stuck in following procedure, in sticking to rules, and in demonstrating what a proper man he was, he got people on his own side killed. Plus, he built a really great bridge for the Japanese. Colonel Kenobi had been in service to his enemy.
Thankfully, as he was dying, he fell on the detonator, blowing up the bridge right on time.
It’s a shame that they changed this line, since it would have been a great reminder to people vacationing to remember to take their swimsuits. Such an emotional impact and such practical advice!
Victor Davis Hanson (always a good read) describes the end result of politics in California, once the most prosperous state in any union (LINK):
What caused this lunacy?
A polarity of importing massive poverty from south of the border while pandering to those who control unprecedented wealth in Silicon Valley, Hollywood, the tourism industry, and the marquee universities. Massive green regulations and boutique zoning, soaring taxes, increasing crime, identity politics and tribalism, and radical one-party progressive government were force multipliers. It is common to blame California Republicans for their own demise. They have much to account for, but in some sense, the state simply deported conservative voters and imported their left-wing replacements
Where California goes, America generally follows.
When presidential candidates on the Left:
- actively support giving healthcare to those in the country illegally,
- make it impossible to secure the border,
- make it impossible to quickly and safely deport those who are here illegally, and
- support requiring American citizens to pay for all of this,
I wonder if they will ever have their Bridge on the River Kwai moment.
This particular kamikaze plane flew six missions.
When those “Conservatives” support:
- unlimited globalism to export American technology and know-how,
- importation of cheap labor versus using American labor via H-1B visas,
- following every rule of etiquette set by the Left (that the Left doesn’t follow), and
- rolling back each of our freedoms, but just a little slower than the left wants to.
I wonder if they will ever have their Bridge on the River Kwai moment. Did John McCain, on his deathbed, think, “What have I done?” I don’t think so.
How much of the foundation of this country has to crumble before Left and “Conservatives” realize what they’ve done to undermine the United States, which may be the last, best hope of Western Civilization? Do they care, or will they sell the country for two or six more years in power?
Never mind all that, an Eastwood movie is on. Haven’t seen Hang ‘em High or The Unforgiven in a while.
To the Left, destroying America is a feature, not a bug. It’s the whole point.
Yup, it is. But some of them aren’t in on the joke – they think they’ll lead the world to a new a prosperous future. I imagine they’ll have their moment the second they hit the camps . . . .
I too wonder if those so willing to sell their soul for a vote will ever have that moment when they wonder what type of monster they created. In a perfect world, they’ll be consumed by the monster, and the mob will kill the monster with their pitchforks. Unfortunately, the world is not perfect, and my anticipation of rational thought by current politicians is a fantasy.
Yup. Most of the time they retire to the gated community and never even have to interact with the mess they made.
unlimited globalism to export American technology and know-how
A government fence to keep technology in and labor competition out is neither desirable nor practical. It’s called an iron curtain, and it’s a totalitarian idea. There is no policy middle ground where a little bit of totalitarianism is beneficial.
I realize that it was ancient history, but that “iron curtain” to which you refer was to keep skilled labor IN (and capitalist competition out). But, mostly to keep the skilled labor from finding its worth in the capitalist West. A fence that keeps people IN is a cage, a prison, or a dictatorship (depending on the size of the enclosed area). A fence that keeps people out is essential to the concept of “private property” (and national sovereignty).
My home has doors, the doors have locks, and the doors are locked most of the time. How about yours? Or do you share your living space with anyone who wants to do so?
And tariffs were a major tax for over 100 years, as I seem to recall.
Wellllll, there is. I am a (recovering) Libertarian. I used to believe in the gods of the marketplace, but now I understand that isn’t the whole story. It doesn’t require totalitarianism to ensure that American labor is competitive – it requires reduction of our own regulation.
Part of what we get when we offshore production is loss of know how – of how to build, how to engineer, how to manufacture. Those are lessons that build strength in a country. Making it more advantageous to build in China or Mexico or Denmark makes the nation poorer, long term.
I took an undergraduate class on production management where the professor argued that national security required that we protect and keep certain industries in the United States. It was and remains a good point. I feel like the country is today governed by the nation-state equivelant of corporate raiders that don’t care about the long term health of the country, but just want to extract as much wealth as possible as they disassemble the nation.
Perfectly said – we live in the moment of the instantaneous profit, regardless of the long term consequences to our nation.
Only in movies do people realize they were an idiot. In real life, denial and doubling down are the only options. Since people suck, best to stay watching movies and not leaving the house except to get more cat food.
You’re right. And, do you mean food made out of cats?
The theme of the movie is that some people get so caught up in doing the right thing that they forget that they are actually acting against their own interests and team.
The left landed gentry parrot the correct liberal talking points without a thought as to what the consequences of following those statements could lead to. Col. Nicholson (Alec Guinness) had gotten so carried away in being a ‘proper British soldier’ that he forgot that the very people he was helping killed untold thousands in prison camps just like his. In the same way as the liberal promoting a policy that would destroy their way of life, Nicholson was actively helping the Japanese invaders.
Immigration is an emotional issue for some. For others, it is a pragmatic discussion of who should come and be let in. On the one hand, compassion is played for big time and for the other, an understanding of how our nation and livelihoods exist and what could be a threat to same.
Things were not the way they are now not that long ago. Before the ascendance of politically correct speech and thinking it was not considered racist to state an opinion against open borders. That was back in the early 90’s. Oh, how far we have come since then.
The force, if there is such a thing, is being destroyed by the invading clone army of immigrants. Order 66 has been issued by the head of the drones army. All believers in freedom and the force are in danger……
Glenda, as usual, 100% correct and on point.
But I hold out for A New Hope . . .
John McCain was referred to by the other prisoners in the Hanoi Hilton as “the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.”
The they decided it was time to play a nice game of solitaire.
Oh, and forget old.
I stopped explaining the space race and moon landings to people younger when I realized they were looking at me as if I were describing WWI trench warfare, as we rode our T. Rexii into battle, and sending letters home on the Pony Express, and making phone calls with semaphore flags.
Most kids (and adults) are idiots about anything that happened before they hit middle school. For some of them, they’re idiots about anything that happened before breakfast. Every day.
But kudos on your Marriage Eligibility Weedout Program.
Rule 1: If Zulu is on the TV, Zulu stays on the TV – until it’s over.
And as a general Rule Of Thumb: Exactly like with Monty Python’s Holy Grail and Life Of Brianmovies, if your spouse-to-be can’t do the dialogue of Zulu with you in sync with the lines on the TV, they haven’t seen it enough.
Aaaaaaaawwright then, …nobody told you to stop working!
I’ll see your Zulu and Monty Python and raise Dr. Strangelove.
Took my college sweetheart to see “2001: A Space Odyssey”. It left her speechless, and we never spoke at any length again. The last thing I remember saying to her was “I don’t care whether you liked it or not, but if you’re afraid to express yourself with me, we have no future.”
Good call.
There’s also a “spaced-out” girl joke in there somewhere, but given the gravity of the situation I’ll leave that one in orbit.
“Look, Col. Batguano…if that even is your real name…”
Agreed – she needs a brush-up on it. And both of my boys have to watch it regularly.
Aesop, The Mrs. laughed and said, “But it’s a *good* movie.”
Today’s conservatives are last year’s liberals. They haven’t even been able to conserve the ladies room.
Yup. That’s why I refer to the Right. Conservatism has failed entirely.
What movies did Mrs. Wilder require John to watch?
I’m betting no one on either side will have a moment of clarity.
Only one, really, Bull Durham which she can quote from start to finish.
Her other tests for me were a psychological battery and an endurance test that involved sand and knives. I can’t say much more than that.
It isn’t surprising that teens like your son don’t even realize we fought in jungles after a lifetime of movies about cartoonish Nazi villains. Band of Brothers was wildly popular but the companion series The Pacific didn’t get anywhere near the attention. Compare the old movies like The Longest Day and my personal favorite Patton to more recent stuff, made back when people who fought in and remembered World War II were still alive in large numbers, and who remember that the Japanese were famous back then not for anime but for being both vicious and crazy. Forget talking about the Commies on the other side of the European theater who ended up being even worse than the Nazis. I was pretty shocked that a movie about the Holodomor even made it into production, not to mention the Chernobyl mini-series, because they make the Commies look bad.
It is almost like there is an agenda in how World War II is portrayed but I can’t seem to put my finger on it….
I liked The Pacific. It was good.
Hmmm . . . an agenda . . .
I enjoyed it was well, although it was quite a bit darker than Band of Brothers. It also was an interesting contrast, in BoB the German soldiers were more human than people expect in our culture but in the Pacific the Japanese came across as lunatics, which meshes with what people I used to know that lived through that era believed.