“I don’t suppose you’d find it up to the standards of your outings. More conversation and somewhat less petty theft and getting hit with pool cues.” – Firefly
It’s important to have standards – like licking and sticking standards. Stick to your guns!
I was watching Tony Robbins™ over a year ago while working out at the gym. I like to watch videos when I do the cardio machines – it seems to make the time pass more quickly. I’m not sure that’s a good idea since (at least subjectively) that makes my life shorter. Perhaps I should fill my underwear with sand before I get on the treadmill – that might make it seem a little lot longer. But I digress. Going from memory, Robbins® was talking about if you wanted to change your life, you had to raise your standards.
What is the result of a change in standards? Well, if Robbins© is right, changing your standards changes the way you view the world. And if you raise your standards, well, you’ve changed your life for the better, right?
No.
You’ve changed your life for the better if you’ve raised your standards and changed your behavior in such a manner that you are moving to meet those standards. If you change your standards of, say, your new pants size? And your new standard is a 32” waist (451 meters)? Great idea! But you don’t change your daily habit of 86 Krispy Kreme® delicious glazed donuts? What has your new awesome changed standard given you?
Nothing.
Wait, worse than nothing.
Frustration. Which leads to death. Okay, after decades. But it still leads to death.
With all apologies to Mr. Robbins® (the host body) and the symbiotes/parasites that are his amazingly immaculate hair (no actual human has hair like that, so I expect that his hair is a separate living entity, perhaps responsible in some psychic way for his charisma), changing standards without changing actions just breeds a sense of impotence, anger, discontent, and, when present in relationships? Divorce or an end to friendship.
High Standards + Poor Execution = Sadder Than Johnny Depp’s Bank Account
Let me give an example:
Let’s say I have a standard that includes having a spotless bathroom. One where you could eat chateaubriand off the tiles (and had an Alexa® speaker that told you what chateaubriand was) with the Queen and she’d be excited to come back for dessert. A bathroom where the towels were laundered by angels in heaven with unicorn blood as the soap. I mean a really clean bathroom. Really clean.
Okay. I now have this standard. Cool.
But I hate cleaning, and I’m not really good at it.
So my standard is a really clean bathroom. But The Mrs. has to clean it.
Sadly, The Mrs. is neither an indentured servant nor someone who is easily cowed. Did you think I’d marry a weasel-woman? Nah, could have had dozens of those. I need a woman with fire in her eyes!
But if I expect The Mrs. to clean the bathroom to my “dinner with the Queen” standard? Never going to happen. And the result?
I’d be angry at The Mrs., for something she never promised nor intended to do. If this continued through other aspects of our relationship?
We wouldn’t have a relationship.
And I understand that. If we expect more than the other can or will give? We don’t have a relationship. But some standards really are important. How can you tell which ones?
When it comes to standards:
- What standards are you willing to fight for? Real fighting, not Twitter® or online petitions.
- What standards do you actually control? If you don’t control it, how will it happen?
- What is the consequence of the standard not being met? If nothing, then . . . what?
Focus on standards with consequences that have meaning to you. That you control.
You do control your pants size. Are you willing to fight for it? Does it have consequences?
The questions above really do have consequences: if you spend your life being upset about things you don’t control, and that you can’t change, and that don’t impact your life?
Even the stupid dead Romans had this one figured out:
“Today I escaped anxiety. No! I discarded it because it was within me in my own perceptions, not outside of me.” — Marcus Aurelius (stupid dead Roman)
I guess Tony Robbins© is just not fit for a toga. And his hair would a little tiny toga, which would be cute, but really, really creepy.
