“Here’s to swimmin’ with bow-legged women.” – Jaws
If you’re lonely you could buy some stocks. Then you’d have some company.
In July, the New York Times® ran a story titled, Is the Cure to Male Loneliness Out on the Pickleball Court? It wasn’t particularly political, and I think I can summarize it in just a few words: “If you’re a dude, have a few friends. The best friends are those that share some sort of common interest with you. Friends make you happy.” Writer Michelle Cottle strung those three sentences out into several hundred words of mainly forgettable fluff that would be obvious to anyone with an I.Q. higher than a Phoenix, Arizona winter temperature. In centigrade.
The real joy of this particular story, however, was the unleashing of memes. The picture that accompanied the article, however was, shall we say, regrettable. It’s above, showing a man (I think, it’s 2023, so who can even define a man in 2023) with massive, fat tears containing enough water to keep California going through a megadrought. I think he might be crying because he hates pickleball, or maybe because he can’t afford a shirt with sleeves.
I have so many orb memes.
Regardless, the /Internet/ reacted predictably to the picture, and created a list of memes that would make all those sages pondering orbs proud. I saved a few of them, just for you in the hopes that you, dear reader, might find your key to cure your loneliness. If you’re like me, you don’t have feelings other than cold, salty, and drunk, so I haven’t figured out what the whole “lonely” thing is.
Anyway, here are the memes, as found, with some annotation.
I think that drinking with Quint and killing sharks is definitely going to solve any issues with loneliness.
Curling? Not so much.
Now being in a Roman Legion? That’s the stuff! Hiking every day! Just avoid Germany.
It’s weird that the Turks mispronounce “Constantinople” as “Istanbul”.
I, for one am always happy when I’m at Chili’s. It is the booze.
I’ve never tried it, but, what could it hurt?
Now this looks inviting. I think termites like saloons, because they like the bar tender.
I wonder if he’ll be a crying-on-the-inside NPC?
Can confirm, this is fun until the cops show up.
Is the Wendigo related to the Whodigo, or the Wheredigo, or the Whatdigo?
Who can be lonely interacting with 400’ tall anime girls?
Travolta and Cage walk into a bar. Bartender says, “Why the wrong face?”
Lovecraft walked into a bar, and the rest is too humorous to even describe.
Ever notice that you never see Walken and Buscemi in the same place? Discuss.
Hell yeah, brother!
Well, even Hunter gets lonely.
I guess it didn’t work for Kaepernick.
But it might have worked out for Kaepernick’s dad.
Sometimes, it’s the simple things.
Or many simple things.
What’s a little psychosis between friends?
If I tried that, I’d be grounded.
Well, back to giant women . . .
And who doesn’t need another synthesizer?
Is there more to life?
Yes, yes there is.
Thankfully, my job will let me work as many hours as I want to.
There might be one other option?
“Nothing cures the blues better than working at a food bank.”
ORLY?
Nothing cures the blues better than working at a blood bank.
Nothing cures the blues better than working at a sperm bank.
yeah that’s the ticket
Well, now I’m jacked!
My cure for male loneliness sitting day after day after day in my cyber man cave is three weekly doses of Wilder, Wealthy and Wise. And chess.com.
Billy Baker did an interesting similar article for the Boston Globe back in 2017…
https://www.bostonglobe.com/magazine/2017/03/09/the-biggest-threat-facing-middle-age-men-isn-smoking-obesity-loneliness/k6saC9FnnHQCUbf5mJ8okL/story.html
His article went semi-viral at the time, but the article illustration didn’t spark many memes…
https://bostonglobe-prod.cdn.arcpublishing.com/resizer/ZMK23hvNnG46zVkmnFvAysnm7tE=/1024×0/cloudfront-us-east-1.images.arcpublishing.com/bostonglobe/Q3IC3AACVMI6PDC3TKBEKEMSQE.jpg
Not enough tears. And why only come back three days a week? Look at these great folks making comments!
The West has been awash in male tears for a good while. Small price to pay for the blessings of Current Year. Now if we could only get rid of all those trannies stealing trophies from the girls. That would be progress.
There will be tears. And the men who set things right from the chaos unleashed by satanic femtopia will find humor where they can. They always do. But it won’t be from the funnies called the New York Times. Heads on pikes write their own jokes.
Now THAT’S entertainment!
Working with tools in the garage on various projects keeps me from thinking about loneliness.
I restored some old Kawasaki motorcycles a few years back and before I knew it, three of my neighborhood buds were on their own bikes.
One time, a friend made a pneumatic gun for his kid that shot bean bags and he brought it over to use my air compressor to test it.
We were amazed how far it shot the beanbag, so almost instantly me and neighbor fell into a competition of who could make the best pneumatic water balloon cannon. That led to a neighborhood picnic with the kids shooting water balloons and the wives visiting and everyone having a good time.
They do. But the big thing missing? True achievement.
I spent much of the last decade trying to move Rightie men offa spiritual Ground Zero concerning The Almighty Female.
They were silent for forty years as their precious daughters supplanted Somebody Else’s Sons in all things, despite the rage of heaven. Silent while their nations were transformed into gyno-gulags and locked them down. Only when trannies (men) intruded on Women’s Sports did the Righties rise up in anger and dismay. Sigh.
WTF am I supposed to do with ‘men’ like that?
I’m assuming satire here. If you really want to meet folks help other folks. Nothing cures the blues better than working at a food bank.
If you’re not working three part time jobs just to keep your family off the streets, you *might* have the 1st World problem of subbing the internet for the Real World ™ interactions.
You also meet up with other good folks that really help other people. Just don’t get trapped by the sob stories of the users among the unfortunate. Easiest way to weed out the Users is having them DO something for others.
Sociopathic Users really cannot do it over a very short timeframe.
Well said.
That my friend was your best post EVER. No more tears forever! Jesus is my best friend. And i am never lonely or alone.
Thanks! More to come, hopefully my best ones are in front, not behind.
There is no cure for loneliness. There is only the PEZ. And the PEZ abides.
Ohhhh, now I have my tombstone epitaph. PEZ abides.
I stole it from the Big Lebowski movie.
Ahhhhhh! I thought of the old novel, “Earth Abides” which was a pretty good one. Regardless, it needs to go on my Tombstone. Maybe with pepperoni and extra cheese.
I’d say there’s a pretty good chance you won’t need a tombstone. Or a tomb.
Well, that’s a possibility. Or, maybe they just might use a catapult . . .
Oh, well…let’s make a guess. I’d say Michelle is either a Columbia or Mizzou or some other J-Skool Grad, pierced, slightly tatted and sorta yucky lookin’. And rather unhappy herself. Plus WOKE to the Nth degree.
If she is married or has a boyfriend, two words – “Soy Boy”.
Well, she didn’t take his name. ’nuff said.
They got some cures for loneliness right there in Ukraine comrade, ten percent of your limbs for the Big Guy and you might be the last man standing in your squad, there to tell the story of fighting for muh ‘mocracy in the Kraine.
A buddy’s wife said that Brandon’s father was a used car salesman, the perfect Joe Slovo to deliver a West South Africa prize to the Long March to burn down Western Civ.
Si se puede, yes we can!
Pickleball? Ain’t nobody got time for that WAR is the only sport that matters and we’re going to need a bigger Morbark.
Can I pick the limbs?
Male what?
The words you strung together have some meaning individually, but collectively we don’t know what you’re talking about. In a “Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are having an intellectual argument, and it sounds like some millenial’s Furby collection speaking in a gibberish word salad while stray cats are giving birth” kind of way.
I suspect the best cure for male loneliness among the soy bois reporting it and who read the NYTimes is to knock that sh*t off, put that fishwrap back under the bird cage where it belongs, have a urologist re-attach your balls, and stop crying like a girl.
Chicks hate whiny crybabies who sit at women’s feet looking for an answer to life’s questions, they have no respect for them, and they replace them with actual men every chance they get. And when we say “every chance”, well, we hate to be the one to break it to you if you thought they were really out with their friends five days a week, but it’s time someone clued you in to why they aren’t interested in you anymore except as a life support system for their credit card and a dog walker for their yappy little purse-mutt.
GTFO of the house, go shoot something, kill something, or build something (ideally, a solid brick BBQ for the animal you shot and dressed or the fish you caught and drove home from out in the wilds in your gas-guzzling 4WD pickup), and whichever you choose, generate enough carbon from your efforts to give Greta Thunberg a fit of apoplexy. When you get back, tell that whiny advice columnist you’re staying with to turn off The Spew and make you a sammich.
And if she leaves you over that, be sure and tell her “Thank you!”
By the time she hits the wall, and realizes she’s living in a middle-aged prison of box wine and cat hair long after her freshness date is a distant memory in life’s rear-view mirror, and comes crawling back to you begging for a do-over, you’ll be dating three Scandinavian stewardesses, and you won’t be able to hear you ex’s pitiful whinging over the sizzle from the BBQ, the scream of your power tools working on projects in your garage, the tune-up you’re doing on the 4WD, or the screams of passion in your ear from Astrid, Helena, or Ingrid.
You’re welcome.
Love it.
Is the cure for male loneliness collecting ball peen hammers?
Very funny post. I have been a fan of your memes for some time now.
Ohhh, ball peen hammers! You’re always welcome to join the fray, though I can’t claim the memes, only collecting this batch.
Sad John Travolta walks into a Chinese bar. The bartender says, “Hey! You John Tlavorta, light? Why the rong face?”
[…]
I’ll show myself out then, shall I?
Nah, hang around. That was almost how I cast it.
Just wow John. Kind of leaned into this one, yes? We all have our strike surfaces. Looks like this was one of your’s.
But don’t stop. I’ma yuge fan.
No kiddin’. You’re somebody I’d love to sit an evening with adult beverages and talk of sealing wax and sailing ships, cabbages and Kings.
Yeah, this one tickled me.
Likewise!!! I’d even bring the cigars.
I don’t always have an array of computer monitors in front of me, but when I do… none of them show the same meaningless graph.
But . . . maybe it’s because you need more monitors?
MGTOW MONKs don’t cry because we are quite happy. Try it.
This.
I highly recommend Only In Your State for bachelors. It’s been a goldmine for me.
I can see it happening, especially with all the kids that don’t have dates for Prom.
Walken and Buscemi: Things to do in Denver while You’re Dead. Not a bad film, has its moments.
D’oh! And I’ve seen that one.
I didn’t know men could get lonely. I learn something every day.
Yeah, my emotions only encompass drunk, salty, and cold.
John, this may be one of your greatest Meme collections yet.
Being that I have benefited from grading on the curve in the past, I will give at least partial credit to the author of the article: someone realizes their may be a problem (I say “realizes there is a problem”; the article is behind a paywall and inaccessible to me). The more meaningful question is “Why is there a problem?” I suspect – given the fact it is the New York Time – the answer does not likely involve looking in a mirror and wondering if any of the social constructs and movements of the last 5 to 7 years have resulted in men being disconnected, cast out, and “lonely”.
Also amusing that of all the activities that could have been suggested, pickleball is it. Perhaps this is the new socially acceptable sport?
Yeah, pickleball. I have no idea. Probably will never, ever play it. It’s safe, and probably not at all manly.
https://wikibiography.in/michelle-cottle-wiki-bio/
I’ll take loneliness for a bazillion Alex
Yeah, won’t take husband’s name, no kids, etc. Probably a real joy to be around.
Is the cure for male lonliness
Shooting laser beams at Jesus?