Rittenhouse Has Caused More Tears Than Old Yeller

“Ladies and gentleman, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookie from the planet Kashyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about that. That does not make sense.” – South Park

I guess Kyle did have a salt rifle.

The reaction from the Left on the Rittenhouse verdict has been different than I expected – I expected a few riots, sure.  Riots are the standard when dealing with Leftists.  They want the world to burn, so why not start with a Starbucks®?  Or, heck, almost any huge corporate entity.  They seem to love it when Leftists burn down their buildings – they immediately respond by vowing to rebuild and then donating to the very groups that . . .

. . . just burned down their store.

But Kyle Rittenhouse bothered them, deeply.

Don’t recognize his two IMDB® credits.  Probably wouldn’t be a good dinner guest.

I watched, while not the whole trial, a huge chunk of it.  Just after the Prosecution was done, the Defense could have said, “The Defense rests,” and still won.

It was that clear-cut.  I don’t know why it took the jury so long, perhaps they were just waiting around to see if they could get those Panera® sandwiches the judge promised them if they were still deliberating on Friday.

The Left, who has never seen a criminal atrocity so bad that they don’t want the criminal to go free, was fixated on this case.  The media was on board, mainly.  Large numbers of people thought had no real idea of the facts of the case, and some even thought that Rittenhouse had killed multiple black people for no reason other than that they were protesting.

So, what did they have to say?  (Some language not safe for all audiences, and all memes today are as-found on the Internet.)

Umair Haque is a grifter, and a fairly successful grifter.  Does he bring up valid issues?  Certainly, from time to time.  And, if his solution is commies leaving the United States?  I will personally help buy tickets if they promise to never come back.

Ayanna apparently has a keyboard that doesn’t allow her to type a capital “W”.  Also?  She takes her love of Jean-Luc Picard a bit too far.

Does “Prince Jellyfish” describe his arm?

Possibly fake.  But funny.

Take a breath and come up for some Umair, Umair. 

If you had any doubts about who we are dealing with . . .

You can find plenty of salt for yourself on Twitter® or Reddit©.  Might as well bid goodbye to the trial with some memes:

That explains everything!  Why would a Wookiee, an 8-foot-tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor with a bunch of 2-foot-tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: “What does this have to do with this case?” Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me, I’m a lawyer defending a major record company, and I’m talkin’ about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you’re in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation… does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.

Okay, the real testimony was even worse than the South Park® quote above.

Why can’t Gaige point to Kyle?

Oh, yeah, that.  The ol’ Spicey Bicep.

A moment of silence, please.

Huh, yeah, I wonder what would happen if they let clinically insane socialists out on the street?

And the only people that Kyle shot ended up being felons?  What are the odds??

The prosecutor will probably never end up living this one down . . .

And, for of course people could see the next round of trouble coming:

The Mrs. really laughed at this one.

And then The Bee® stings.

Who knows what the future will bring?

Reminder that it might be time for Leftists to change their password . . .

Author: John

Nobel-Prize Winning, MacArthur Genius Grant Near Recipient writing to you regularly about Fitness, Wealth, and Wisdom - How to be happy and how to be healthy. Oh, and rich.

35 thoughts on “Rittenhouse Has Caused More Tears Than Old Yeller”

  1. Which is why the CPUSA/CCP comrade collective ordered Brooks to mow down some YT crackas.
    They will spike the ball for days when he is acquitted by the just-us system.
    The laugh out loud he was fleeing a knife fight from the Community Relations Service of the just-us department will be slurped up by drooling normie dullards and some family are already sticking up for comrade Brooks (CPUSA).
    There won’t be anything but a 3000 mile charcoal birdbath bomb crater by 2024.
    Plan accordingly.

  2. The tears are delicious indeed. On the other hand, I saw a clip of the upcoming interview with Kyle on Tucker Carlson that airs tonight and Kyle was talking about how he supports black Lives Matter. So we will see where it goes, like the Trump presidency that was a disappointment in almost every respect, at least election night will live on forever for the REEEEEing that went on.

    1. The important thing is not what happens after, it is what happened in that trial. Kyle isn’t our leader, he’s an 18 year old kid that never should have been in that position.

      But the reeees are delicious.

  3. Democrats, Leftists, Communists, Jews and Blacks are upset about justice being done. Because the wrong side won. Guilt, innocence, and the law mean nothing to these people. They are our enemies, and they want us to shut up and die.

    The will to power is everything. The Constitution is nothing.
    There is no law, only Zuul.
    The future lies on the other side of mountains of skulls, rivers of blood, and oceans of tears.
    Plan and prepare accordingly.

    (Why do I keep repeating myself? Nobody listens to Cassandra until it’s too late.)

  4. That Umair guy. What a riot he is. 🙂

    The luckiest guy alive is Maurice “@Team Reese, let’s kill that white boy” Freeland, aka Jump Kick Man, who is African American and dodged two shots from Kyle. If HE had been shot / killed, this entire circus would have gone into insanity hyperdrive.

    https://www.lawenforcementtoday.com/jump-kick-man-who-kicked-kyle-rittenhouse-identified-as-known-felon/

    Maybe we’ll get to see more of Kyle when he goes back to Kenosha to testify at Maurice’s assault trial. Ass. DA Binger is probably gonna release the charges against Maurice this week, right? Along with identical ones against Gaige, only with a deadly weapon modifier?

  5. We’ll never know the answer, but the question still has merit: How many rioters would Kyle have had to shoot that night before he shot someone that didn’t have a criminal history?

  7. The trial was more about whether jury and judicial intimidation would work for the Left or not. It did not. But they still hold out hope, and will do their best to intimidate the public at large, in preparation for the next time.

    1. It almost worked, as the holdup was reportedly due to 2 people worried about repercussions. It may still work in the big picture, depending on what happens to jury members, the judge, and the defense.

  9. The libelous reports presented by much of the media should cause such a public outcry, and aversion, they’d be forced into bankruptcy in weeks. It won’t, since too much of the public is more interested in the Kardashians, than how their local politicians are wrecking their lives.

    1. I experimented with crossing state lines in my foolish youth, but luckily a few close calls lead to me treading the straight and narrow. I feel sorry for today’s youth due to things like GPS and googlemaps making it so easy to find where state lines are in order to cross them.

  12. Chewbacca defense:
    https://youtu.be/aV6NoNkDGsU?t=26

    I wasn’t surprised to see Kyle supporting BLM. Maybe it’s part of a strategy to maximize lawsuit payouts, or to try to ward off attacks on him. Or maybe he really does believe it, who knows. Kyle’s importance is to piss off leftists so that they get even crazier and push more people in the middle in our direction. Due to right wing brain chemistry we are desperate to find a hero to lead us; unfortunately such a person would never get mainstream air time and would be severely constrained with reaching people on the internet.

    1. Right? If I did that, I’m sure several men in sunglasses and matching coats would invite themselves in and ruin my daily plans.

    2. “Hang the fucking judge” is not a threat.
      “I’ll hang the fucking judge” is a threat.

      0/~ One of these things is not like the other… o/~

      This is why you can yell “Let’s Go Brandon”, or even the pithier and specific equivalent that goes for the acronym FJB, and be at zero risk of jail, ever.
      Even from the fence outside of the South Lawn of the White House.

      Show up in Lafayette Park with a condom and lube, and a ladder for the White House fence, however, and you’re going to have quite a problem.

      If this is confusing anyone, please go and punch your grammar school English teacher right in the mouth.

      Any number of people ought to be drawn and quartered. Really and actually.
      A non-zero number of them are judges.
      There is no law against even naming them.
      Even if I do it.

      Unless you’re standing outside the courthouse, at the head of a mob with torches and pitchforks, with a team of horses and a chainsaw, proving intent, rather than merely the impotent expression of a fond wish, is going to shoot any prosecution on those grounds right in the ass. (Or, the bicep. Same-same.)

      And, let’s be serious: seeing how close to a legal violation you can skate without crossing over the line is generally a fool’s errand, and not advisable. Not least of which because most cops – which is where legal theory rubber meets the PR-24 shampoo road of law enforcement – didn’t graduate at the top of their high school class either, in most cases. Don’t take my word for it: go to the zoo, and taunt the tiger by sticking your arm into the enclosure while holding a rare steak. Write and tell us how that works out for you. With your remaining arm.

      You may, for one rather crude but obvious example, state with conviction that you’d like to fornicate with an underage female, and be at zero risk of criminal prosecution. (What you’ll deal with in any Afterlife is not the court’s business.)
      Take flowers, candy, and a condom to her door after driving to meet her, and meet instead the police and a John Walsh camera crew coming out the door instead of your imaginary internet paramour is a bit different, in a 10-25 years in the state prison kind of way.
      “Action in clear furtherance of criminal intent” is the concept some of you didn’t learn in Jailhouse Law School.
      The first lesson is harsh, and the tuition rather steep. I hear.

      “Capability of fulfilling the threat” is another one you should look up.
      [Hint: Number of quadriplegics prosecuted for “uttering a threat”, to date, is a number approaching or equal to zero. Ditto for people eight states or entire oceans away. Drive over, OTOH, and you’re going to need a good lawyer.]

      Maybe Google motive, means, and opportunity on crime writer’s websites sometime as well. It would be instructive, and far cheaper than $500-$2000/hr in legal retainers.

      Just saying.

  14. My guess is that fedscum will keep Rittenhouse in Court on endless “Civil Rights Violation” charges, while NEVER MENTIONING that the ‘protected minorities’ whose ‘rights’ (to Burn, Loot and Murder) were ‘violated’ are jews.

    2. My guess is they’ll do no such thing, for the same reason Superman hates kryptonite, and why so few children burn both hands after grabbing a hot stove.

      And if he’s smart, he’ll go win piles of civil judgements, and retire to a life of privacy.

      Because if he ever shows up at another riot with an AR-15, and anything happens, no one will be able to keep his ass out of prison, even if he’s as innocent the second time as he was this time.

      He can defend his home and his person all he wants without risk, but going anywhere else, ever, with the merest appearance of “looking for a fight”, is going to put a nearly insurmountable burden of proof on any potential defense.

      I’m betting counsel has already told him the equivalent of the advice given to Horatio Hornblower by Captain Pellew:
      “Well, you’ve fought your first duel. Never fight another.

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