Choose Who You Are. It’s Easy.

“Yes, sir! That’s exactly who I am and what I am, sir. A victim, sir!” – A Clockwork Orange

If someone named David is a victim of ID theft, do I have to call them Dav?

“As I’ve gotten older . . . I could not help but notice the effect on people of the stories they told about themselves.  If you listen to the people – if you just sit and listen – you’ll find that there are patterns in the way they talk about themselves.  There’s the kind of person who is always the victim in any story that the tell – always on the receiving end of some injustice.  There’s the person who is always kind of the hero in every story they tell.  The smart person – they deliver the clever put down.  There are lots of versions of this.  And you gotta be very careful about how you tell these stories because it starts to become you.  You are, in the way you craft your narrative, kind of crafting your character.  And so, I did at some point decide:  I am going to adopt self-consciously as my narrative that I’m the happiest person anybody knows.  And it is amazing how happy-inducing it is.”

-Michael Lewis

My first question after I read this was, “Okay, which Michael Lewis?”  I’m thinking there might be a million of them, but the A.I. refused to even guess and then pouted and now won’t open the pod bay doors for me.  So, I’m guessing that every other person in Michigan is named “Michael Lewis”.  Regardless, the most famous author named Michael Lewis is the guy who writes interesting financial books, so I’ll assume it’s him.

The nice thing about water from Flint is that you can use it to make a Pb and Jelly sandwich.

Regardless of who wrote it, it’s a good and fairly true quote.

Why?

Attitude is everything.

If you believe you’re happy, if you talk about being happy, you’ll . . . be happy.  As I’ve written before, being happy is really the easiest thing in the world.  Many mornings I’ll run into the secretary administrative assistant at the door.  Regardless of the weather, I’ll greet her with, “What a beautiful day it is!”  It could be sunny and hot, rainy, cold, snowing, or even volcano-y.  My greeting is the same.

Because it is a beautiful day.  And, one thing I’ve learned is that the weather absolutely doesn’t care about me, at all.  The snow doesn’t care that I love it.  The hot day doesn’t care that I like cold weather, though I think it might be personal with the volcanoes.  But I’m alive, breathing, walking and talking.  If I spent all day hating a temperature reading, that wouldn’t leave me time to hate people who deserve it, like communists, leftists, and mimes.

How could the day not be beautiful?  I get to choose how I feel, so why not be happy about it?

My insurance agent told me I can jump in an active volcano.  Once.

I read the Michael Lewis quote and immediately recognized it to be a rule I’d been living with.  I’ve written before about how absolutely horrid victims are to be around.  Everything happens to them.  They are at the center of their own story, but initiate no action.  They have all the resilience of a bean bag, and are psychic vampires that attempt to suck emotional sustenance in the form of pity from their unwitting prey by demonstrating how mean the world has been to them.  The technical term for this affliction is “Antifa® Member”.

They sing their own lives with their story.  I avoid these types of people as if they were constructed entirely out of George Soros’ toe cheese, which I guess explains why he’s long been called the “Creamy-Fingered Puppet Master”.

George Soros wants to destroy our culture?  I knew he was behind American Idol.

The Hero?  I can live with them.  Often, they’re really newts who brag about being distantly related to the Tyrannosaurus Rex.  They get their ego from being the one who has done the most, has the most gifted child, the cousin who went to Harvard®, and that they vacationed on Mars last summer.  The Hero does this this because they feel awful about themselves, and need to bolster their ego by telling these stories.

Again, I’m okay with The Hero, since if you listen to their stories and don’t try to top theirs, they eventually can be good people to hang out with, and as they get older or develop trust with you they drop the act.  They want to be liked, and if you like them for who they are, they often stop the Hero stuff.

The person who puts people down?  I don’t meet that guy (or gal) often enough to have any sort of read on dealing with them.  They just aren’t any in circle I’m in since I’ve been an adult.  I guess that tells me lots about how successful the strategy of “being a complete tool” is.

What’s the difference between a Hoover® vacuum and a limo carrying George Soros and his son?  The Hoover™ only has one dirtbag in it.

But there are lots of other ways to tell my story.  The best part is that I get to choose.  I get to choose to be the happiest guy people know.  I get to choose to be the guy in the room that is calm when everything is going to hell (I really enjoy that one, and it comes naturally).  I get to choose what I’m afraid of.

To be clear, this isn’t the Lefty talking point about “Your Truth®”.  That’s bogus, and denies objective reality.  Me?  I don’t deny that it’s snowing.  I don’t deny that it’s 103°F out.  I don’t deny that that pesky volcano keeps following me around.  But I do get to choose how that fact fits in with how I feel.

And so can you.

And so can those 5.04 million people in Michigan named, “Michael Lewis”.

What Do You Value?

“I have been in the service of the Vorlons for centuries, looking for you.  Diogenes, with his lamp, looking for an honest man, willing to die for all the wrong reasons. At last, my job is finished. Yours is just beginning. When the darkness comes, know this; you are the right people, in the right place, at the right time.” – Babylon 5

What is the most common question asked by philosophers nowadays?  “Do you want fries with that?”

Diogenes is dead.  When he was up and kicking around, he lived in a wine barrel at the end of town, and often was caught on the streets stark naked.  Sometimes he was, um, enjoying himself.  Oddly, he was also thought of as a respected philosopher.  When I try to emulate him, though, all I get is a restraining order and some embarrassing YouTube® videos.

The reason we remember Diogenes is for two reasons:

First, he invented the chicken nugget, but sadly was unable to invent any tasty dipping sauces.

Second, he walked around making pithy little statements like this:  “We sell things of great value for things of very little, and vice versa.”

It’s a very short, and very wickedly to the point piece of advice.  Frankly, it points out many of the problems we are facing as a society today.

Let’s take consooming for today’s topic.

Hipsters used to burn their mouth on pizza.  They ate it before it was cool.

Billions of dollars are spent attempting to convince people to purchase one product or another.  These advertisements are hard to avoid – and they have one thing in common – a desire to get the consoomer to spend money.  In some cases, the ads provide the ability to match a need with a product.  If I’m cutting down trees using axes and handsaws, knowing that a thing called a chainsaw exists is providing me a real value.  So, ads inform.

But ads also are used to create desire in customers, playing on emotions to drive purchase decisions for things that aren’t needs, but frivolities.  I have plenty of those!  I’m a sucker for some things in particular.  In the sitting room (where I’m typing this now) I look around and see a map I bought as artwork a few years ago.  It shows all the undersea telegraph cables in around 1871.  So very cool!  I walked into the store, saw it, and bought it.  I consoomed.

I can’t cut down a tree with it.  I can’t drive it to work.  It’s just . . . there, stuck to my wall.

I gave The Mrs. a dart and told pointed at the map.  “Where ever it goes, we’ll go on vacation.”  So, we spent two weeks behind the fridge.

Is the map of great value?  No.  It’s a print.  It doesn’t make me better, more complete, important, or accomplished.  We can look in terms of multiple ways to value things.  Dollars are only one.  In this case, the picture cost about what I made in about an hour or two.

Was it worth an hour of my life to own that map?  Yeah, I guess so.  But when I start to value objects that I own, and look at how much of my life I traded for them, my equation starts to change.

If I didn’t spend that hour at work, what could I have spent that hour on?  How could I have changed my life?  Could I have spent more time brushing my teeth, so they were 2.3% brighter?  Should I have spent that time waxing my dog?

Maybe this is why the Kardashians don’t shave?

What did I overlook or not spend time on?  And which of those things might have been more valuable?

I understand that money is important – those who say that money isn’t important haven’t gone without it.  But money isn’t the goal, it’s what can be done with it that’s important.  The true currency of our lives isn’t gold, silver, or even PEZ™.  It’s time.  Each of us on this planet have a finite number of hours left on this rock, and that number goes down by one each hour that we spend.

It goes down by one if I spend it at a job I don’t like.  It goes down if I spend it writing the best post I’ve ever written.  It goes down by one if I’m sleeping.  It goes down by one every hour.

Yes, I know, exercising and other positive things might extend that life, but I’m still going to die.

In the endless summer of a life when I was, say, 12, I didn’t think much about time and how I spent it.  Even then, though, I didn’t try to just “pass the time” since there was so much to do and see and learn in the world.   Now as I’m on the back side of life, I can see that those hours I have left cannot be wasted.

They’re all I have.  And learning is great, but now it has to have purpose.  Will it help me write?  Will it help me crack a puzzle that I can share?  Will it help me with some project I’m working on?

Can it help me change the world?

Again, as I get older, it ceases to be about me.  It’s now about what I can do to help others, how I can help make the world a better place.

You’re welcome.

Thankfully, during my career I’ve been able to do work on things that matter, and have made the world a slightly better place.  If I’m trading my life for my work, I’m glad that it’s work that matters.

Diogenes?  He’s still dead, but he changed the world, just a little bit.  And I can, too.   And so can you.  Time is still all we have, but it’s up to us to make the most of it, each and every day, just like Diogenes showed us.  But, I don’t recommend you do it naked.

Now, I wonder how Diogenes dealt with the restraining orders?

Don’t Waste Time, That’s All You Have

“Yes, I see, Captain. They would’ve learned to wear skins, adopted stoic mannerisms, learned the bow and the lance.” – Star Trek:  TOS

I guess I’ll admit I’m a Marxist.  A Groucho Marxist.  (All memes but the first one are as-found.)

One of Seneca’s (Dead Roman Philosopher Dude) most famous quotes is, “It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it.”  What surprises me is that Seneca wrote this before Twitter® existed.  But even back in the time of Rome, there were ways to waste time.  I’m thinking Facebook® might be that old.

Regardless, his message is timeless:  every moment that we’re breathing here on Earth is precious.  We may not always get a choice as to how we spend our time (Ted Kaczynski seems to be booked every day) but the true crime is to waste time.  Oh, and blowing people up.

I wonder if that dog goes to the vet if he’s not peeling well?

I have been as guilty as anyone of wasting time.  And one of the biggest wastes of time is to become consumed by negative thoughts and emotions.  In reality, most of the time (most) the things that irritate me are small.  How small?  So small that if I pack up my emotions, and really assess as to why I’m mad, it just looks silly.  When Hillary reflects on why she’s mad, well, she calls the Suicide Hotline and places an order.

But that reflection is crucial.  It’s called self-control, and although it appears to be unfashionable in certain locations (Chicago, I’m looking at you) it is the only way to be successful.  If I threw a temper tantrum when (spins wheel) I drop a sock on the floor, I think there’s a simple word for that in the English language:  Leftist feminist the ATF unstable.

No, when I’m upset I stop.  I take a deep breath.  I ask myself, “Does it matter?”  Most of the time, it doesn’t.  At all.  Very few of the things that have irritated me matter at all over any rational timeframe.  The old two rules apply:  1.  Don’t sweat the small stuff.  2.  It’s all small stuff.

The second question is, can I control whatever the situation is or influence it?  If the answer is no, then that’s like being mad that the Sun is coming up in the morning.  Even if it’s my mistake, it’s sillier than being angry over the English coal minimum price subsidy in the 1800s or . . . anything that happened in 1619.

Why do they call childbirth delivery?  It’s really takeout.

One concept I’ve come across recently is “amor fati,” which is Latin for “put armor on fat people”.  Oh, wait, my translator was wrong.  It really means, “love your fate.”  I think I first heard a variation of this when I was a kid:  “You get what you get, and you’ll like it, and grease up the fat people so we can put plate mail on them.”

The reality of amor fati is this, though:  I am where I am, and I have a choice.  I can get up every morning and be mad, or I can be happy where I am.  Does that mean I’m content?  No.  Does that mean I’m not going to fight like hell?  No.  Does that mean I’m not going to try to change certain things with the fire of a thousand suns?  No.

Sesame Street® is a rough place.

It does mean that if life sucks, I can still find meaning, still find purpose, and still try to create the change that I seek to create.  It’s not complacency.  Heck, Seneca himself was one of the richest dudes in all of Rome.  That didn’t just happen.  He didn’t just wake up one morning, and say, “Holy crap, I have an amazing amount of money.  How did that happen?”

Seneca embraced what he had, and tried to better himself, and change himself.  He did okay.

Our choices are our choices, but even more than that, we always have the choice how we feel, even Ted Kaczynski.  We may have lost everything else, but we always retain that.  We should not be overcome by fear or despair.  To be clear – those are just about the most negative things we can let into our lives, unless you know one of the women on The View.

Is Justin worse than Whoopi?  You be the judge.

The only proper way to deal with tough times is to face into them.  Our obstacles make us stronger.  Each obstacle we face with virtue and excellence improves us.  Except for bullets.  Those sound like they really suck.

Regardless of all of that, the first point is still the most important:  our lives aren’t too short – our lives are exactly as long as they are.  Deal with it.  Love it.  Use your time – every minute.  Every second you waste?  It’s wasting your life.

Now, go make something happen.

Scott Adams And Two Filters: The Race Filter And The Success Filter. Choose The Success Filter.

“Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?” – Return of the King

Does it make me racist if I hate the 100 meter dash? (all memes today are as-found)

Scott Adams has been more in the news in the last month than perhaps during his entire career.  I think it’s entirely on purpose, since last summer he ran a poll on Twitter® that noted that at some point he was going to retire, and he had the choice on how he was going to go out.  The winning choice was to go out with a bang.

Most golfers poll as swing voters.

And so he has.  With $50 to $100 million in the bank and after having both his comic strip and his new book deal cancelled, he found something interesting:  he was freer than he ever had been in his life.  He has all the money (none of which was in Silicon Valley Bank™ – his quote, “Why would I put my money in the 19th largest bank?”) and now he can’t lose his book deal.  It’s gone.  He can’t lose his comic strip.  It’s gone.

Scott Adams can say whatever he damn well pleases.

He also seems genuinely interested in helping black people do better.  Since Adams normally tries to look at the world through the lens of “systems” rather than goals, he ended up analyzing the normal system that black people use.  Not surprisingly, he found that the systems that they use are, well, awful.

The results have been abysmal, except for the Race Grifters and politicians on the Left.  But I repeat myself.  And, using their advice, black people are doing pretty horribly.  And they’ve been taught that white people are the problem, rather than anything else that black people are doing.  And it shows.  Here is one of the comments about Scott that I found online after his initial comments:

I don’t think Wildin (no relation) has anger issues, he has an anger subscription.

Black people thinking white people are the problem has obvious advantages for a politician.  I recall when I was in Alaska – the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR) was thought to have lots and lots of sweet, sweet oil nestled deep in its rocky bosom.  But both the Left and Right used drilling there as a fund-raising opportunity.  No one really wanted to solve the issue, since Greenpeace® could use it to fundraise from Lefties, and Congresscreatures on the Right could use it to fundraise from ConocoPhillips®.  As long as both sides were unhappy, the money flowed.

The last thing anyone wanted to do was solve the problem.  I think the Right would be just fine if the problem were solved, but the Left makes too much money, and gets too many votes.

But Adams would like to work on the solution, which has nothing at all to do with marinating in past tales of slavery.  Adams graphed it out.  The mindset that the Left has worked to instill in blacks is what Adams calls his Race Filter.  It consists of:

  • Grievance,
  • Critical Race Theory,
  • Group Rights,
  • Spot Racists,
  • Systemic Racism, and
  • Reparations

When wearing Spandex® is a war crime.

I’ve written before about Victimhood.  If you look at Adams’ distillation of the way that race relations have been put forward to blacks, well, they’ve been spoon fed a diet of Victimhood from both their own leaders as well as every “well-meaning” Leftist.

For decades.

The problem with Victimhood is that it is nearly like a self-devouring concept.  It starts to fill every bit of a human soul with greed, envy, hate, and the idea that vengeance is the answer making the person small inside.  That’s why when “how much” is brought up in the context of reparations, the answer is simple:  no number will ever be enough.  For there to be an answer, that would mean that the black people who have given themselves over to Victimhood (and their Grifters and Leftist politicians) would have to let it go.

What do you call a magician without magic?  Ian.

Given the current relationship status, they will never let it go.  Adams made the comment that he would cease “identifying as black” and would avoid black people because of the relative dislike of white people that showed up on the Rasmussen® survey that showed that 47% of black folks didn’t think that “it’s okay to be white.”

The comments that showed up in social media responding to Scott (as shown above) tended to confirm the polls.

But Adams isn’t done.  There is another filter that he suggests can replace the Race Filter – the Personal Success Filter.  I generally use the Personal Success Filter, but I never called it that.  I endorse Mr. Adams’ thoughts entirely, and I’ll spend much more time talking about his success filters than I spent on the Race Filter, since the Race Filter sucks:

  • Replace Grievance with Happiness.

Being happy is generally the easiest thing in the world.  Most people who aren’t happy, don’t want to be happy.  It’s cold out?  I like the cold.  It’s hot out?  What a bright, beautiful day.  Circumstances don’t care about my feelings, so why should I let a flat tire make me mad?  A flat tire just is.

I had a friend in college that I’ll call Greg (because his name was Greg) who got absolutely hammered on a very large quantity of alcohol one night, which wasn’t unusual – our school was known as “a drinking school with a college problem.”  I had class with him the next morning.  I looked at him and was shocked.  He was dressed in slacks and button-down shirt.  I said, “Dang, Greg, you were smashed last night – I thought you’d feel awful.  Yet, here you are, and you look fine.  What’s your secret?”

“Yeah, John, I felt awful when I woke up, so I showered, shaved, and dressed up.  You can’t feel awful when you look great.”

Why not be happy?  Be happy.  It’s like pouring river water in your socks:  it’s easy and it’s free.

  • Replace Critical Race Theory with Gratitude.

I could go back in history and look for all of the things where I was slighted.  Where my ancestors were cheated out of something they deserved.  Where I should be third in line to be King of Wisconsin.  Why?

I’m adopted.  I was adopted by great parents, put in a loving family, and worked like a borrowed horse to make me strong.  I appreciate each and every bit of it.  I’m grateful for even the bad things that have happened to me, because those ultimately made me stronger.

Kierkegaard said that life can only be lived forward, but understood in reverse.  I look back, and I’m grateful for nearly everything that has happened to me.  And you should be, too, because otherwise you wouldn’t be the stunning example of humanity with enough taste, intelligence, and discernment that comes here every week.

What gratitude doesn’t look like.

  • Replace Group with Individual.

As groups we come together to create great things.  If Elon Musk was trying to build rockets, he wouldn’t even be halfway done with his very first one if the tried to go it alone.  So groups have their place.  But when we look to set relations based on groups, we get stupid.  Why would Michael Jordan’s kid be more disadvantaged than me?  Why would Jesse Jackson’s?  Martin Luther King, Jr.’s?

Obviously, they were born with much more privilege than me and more money than me.  Yet, in getting into college, they’d have a huge advantage over me based on just their race.  Hmmm.

When I go to work on a daily basis, I don’t look to what my group does.  I look to what I can do, what I can contribute, what I can write, what I can create.  This makes me more successful.  There is a double-edged sword here, however.  Individual makes me more successful, but faced with a group that hates a group I’m part of?

Again, these are Personal Success Factors.  Group factors may vary, and that’s another post.

  • Replace Spot Racists with Network.

In the Soviet Union, there were huge numbers of jokes (and real stories) about how the Soviets would go to great lengths to spot those that were going to undermine the revolution.  Racism had disappeared in the United States to such an extent that Race Grifters had to come up with nonsense like “microaggressions” and even redefine the word “racist” so that black people couldn’t ever be called that.

I once looked up “opaque” in the dictionary.  The definition was unclear.

It would have been better, however, to find people and make friends with them.  I have dozens of people in my phone that I call or text on a semi-regular basis.  Why?  Mainly because I like them.  I don’t want anything from them other than to be their friend.  Yet, I call them when I need advice.  And they call me when they need advice.  All of my friends plus me are way, way smarter than me.

And I like them.

  • Replace Systemic Racism with Optimism.

Let’s pretend that Systemic Racism exists.  To believe that, you’d have to ignore that 58% of NFL® players are black.  That 35% of assistant coaches are black.  That 72% of NBA players are black.  And the black actors that people pay money to see.  And the black musicians that people pay money to listen to.  And Oprah.  Also of note – race relations appear to be best in the Deep South where black people and white people have somehow figured out a way to live in peace.

If Systemic Racism does exist, it seems like the easiest thing in the world to overcome.  And the solution is Optimism.  Every day I get up thinking that things are going to be okay for me.  And, mostly, they are.  Being an Optimist means I’m disappointed sometimes, but I’m also happy, so I look for the silver lining.  Have I lost a job because of Systematic Racism?  Not that I’m sure of.  But I was told, point blank, that I wasn’t hired for one particular job because I wasn’t a woman.  I was okay with that.  And that place?  Well, it’s shut down now, and if I had started a career there, I wouldn’t have the skills I have today.

Be Optimistic.

Replace Reparations with Reciprocity.

Reparations are nonsense.  Check out the meme for the list of ludicrous demands coming out of California.  Note this:  every one of them is about “how I can get mine” rather than “how can I improve the world for others”.

“Oh, and we also demand matching t-shirts.”

I write these posts not because I get paid.  Indeed, it costs me money to write these posts beyond my time, about $2 a day.  I’m planning on increasing my revenues in the coming year by 200%.  Let’s see, twice nothing is still . . . carry the two . . . still nothing.

Reciprocity means doing things for others, not because they can help you, but because you’re not a tool.  Has Reciprocity helped me?  Absolutely.  But that’s not why I do it.

Conclusions.

I can’t fix black America.  I’m not going to try.  Every one of the black people that I know personally are okay and I get along fine with them.

Adams is trying to fix race relations in America, but I think his efforts will ultimately be futile for several reasons – the drug of Victimhood is stronger than heroin.  It is also certainly not in the interests of the Race Grifters and the Politicians.  Those are two reasons, among many.

What I can do, however is my little bit in the Universe, being a happy warrior fixing what I can, warning when I see dragons ahead.  Scott’s Personal Success Filter is a good one for anyone who wants to achieve.

And, like Scott, I’m not leaving my money in the 19th largest bank.

Oh, wait.  The 19th largest bank is gone.

Note:  Moderation may be tighter than normal (I’ve only nuked 78 out of nearly 21,000 comments)- keep it positive, folks.

Why Adversity And Bullies Are Your Friends

“He’s 28 years old and he can eat a chicken sandwich. Very Impressive. Mike Fitzgibbon’s son is a nuclear physicist, and my son can eat a chicken.” – Freddy Got Fingered

I did hear what Beethoven was up to recently:  decomposing.

Adversity is important.

I’ll give you an example:  if a kid’s life has been one simple task, with no conflict and eating Cheezy-Poofs™ on the couch while Mom brings him chicken tendies and sauce and his only responsibility is making sure he can walk from his room to the bathroom, well, he’s going to be worthless.

Why?  If any little thing goes wrong, the program in the brain that says, “crap goes wrong all the time, figure it out” isn’t there.  It’s never been created.  This is why things like “safe spaces” and “trigger warnings” exist – a life with an utter lack of adversity.  Again, embrace the power of positive bullying.

In my case, school sucked between fourth grade and sixth grade.  Why?  I was the odd man out.  I had moved from one small school district to another when my family moved from Wilder Ranch to our compound Wilder Mountain.  I was alone, for several reasons.  Me?

I retreated into schoolwork.  The teachers were fine.  The kids were bullies, though.  Little kids are okay.  High school kids are okay.  But there is a time in the middle where kids are cruel – kids entering adolescence have developed the ability to be mean, but they haven’t developed the capacity for empathy.  It’s like they’re communists, or Stephen Colbert.  But I repeat myself.

Communists are awful at telling jokes – they don’t stop until everyone gets it.

I also retreated into athletics.  The one place where men of different backgrounds can come together is through additional diversity – athletics.  If you tackle someone so hard that their Mom felt it, you get respect.  And that respect breeds camaraderie.  The new guy?  He hit me so hard I had to check to see if I was standing on the train tracks.

And then?  I was one of them.  I also will admit this – when the kids were bullies, often they had a point.  It was awful to be confronted with my inadequacies and shortcomings in that way, but the only thing worse would be to live in a bubble of pretty little lies, and never be confronted with the raw truth.

I think about kids who go through life and never meet a single challenge.  I’ve interacted with a few recently.  Things go bad for them?  They crumple.  Badly.  They don’t have the ability to fight back.

That’s the problem.

A bully told me I had a face only a mother could love.  Turns out I’m adopted.

I think I’ve related this story before, about a child in a Japanese schoolroom.  In the story, the child (call him Phil, which I assume is a common Japanese name, like Chuck or Dave) looked at a cocoon in the back of the classroom because I assume Japanese people keep those things there along with samurai swords and they all dress like Pokémon characters.

Phil watched the butterfly struggle to get out of the cocoon.  Phil felt sorry for the butterfly, so he helped it open the cocoon.

I guess butterflies just aren’t what they used to be.

The butterfly then plopped straight to the floor, since gravity works the same way in Japan (I hear) as in other countries.  Phil cried.  Because he was a sissy.

The teacher came to the back of the classroom and saw Phil crying.  “Phil, did you help the butterfly get out of the cocoon?”

Phil, crying in the way that only Japanese children do (I have no idea what that means, but I wrote it so I’m going to go with it.  Maybe their tears shoot out in coherent streams, like a squirt gun?) nodded.

The wise teacher put his hand on Phil’s shoulder.  “Phil, the only way that a butterfly can get enough strength to fly, is to struggle against the cocoon.  If it gets out some other way, like a can opener, it can never fly, and will die.”

Phil nodded through the tears.  Then the teacher wrapped Phil up in Ace™ bandages so he could struggle to get out.  I think.  I get fuzzy on the end part, since the idea occurred to me as I got to the end of the story that maybe Kim Jong Un keeps shooting missiles over Japan is so he can keep Godzilla® at bay, and if he stops, well, goodbye Tokyo.

I hear Kim doesn’t date, because he’s focused on his Korea.

The point is still clear – struggle is important.  My friend sent me an embroidered patch:  “The strongest steel is forged in the fire of a dumpster.”  And that’s true.  Struggle is what makes people resilient.  It is what keeps us putting one foot in front of the other when our comrades have stepped aside and given up.

I moved again when I was in junior high.  I joined track, because, why not?  I was a shot putter and a discus thrower, and one day the coach told us, “Go for a run,” because the most lame sport in junior high is track, and the most lame thing in track is shot and disc and I think the coach wanted to avoid association with us.  I had been running up in the mountains because there was nothing else to do because the Internet hadn’t been invented yet, and had been putting in about six miles a day on the mountain roads.  Running was fun.

Is your refrigerator running?  If so, I might vote for it.

So, when we went running, we went for . . . about six miles.  The other shot put dudes couldn’t believe that they’d gone so far.  From that day forward, we were brothers.  We had struggled with the six miles (well, they had, but I encouraged them onward).  Struggling together, and winning, creates a bond.

On this second move, I was in with the guys in about two weeks.  “Wilder?  The new kid?  He’s okay.”

We will have challenges.  All of us.  Some of them are awful.  One of them will, in the end, kill me.  That’s okay.  I look at these challenges and resolve that I will not be afraid.  I already know that I’m going to win against all of them but one, so I might as well go into that future as a happy warrior, knowing that my winning streak will eventually end.

Whatever challenge you’re going through will end.  And you’ll win.  Unless you die, in which case I think you should blame Phil.  After all, adversity is our real strength.

But I’m not going to lose today.  And not tomorrow, either.  Though chicken tendies do sound nice.

Your Limits: Are They Real? Or Can You Do More?

“A man’s got to know his limitations.” – Magnum Force

I’ve heard coffee is bad, but O.J. will kill you.

Knowing yourself is important.  There are two aspects of that that aren’t considered enough – knowing what you can do, and knowing what you can’t.  In practice, since abilities define a large part of who I am, knowing these limitations and abilities is crucial.

To start off, I have a list of things that I know I’ll never, ever, be good at.  When I was in junior high, my music teacher tried to convince me that everyone could sing.  Then he heard me and began noting that the Geneva Convention probably outlawed me singing, and also that he was wrong – some people can’t sing.  So, I’ve known since I was very young that however much I might like to sing, I will never, ever be able to.

Strike that – I can sing, I’ll just never be able to sing in a manner that other people find pleasant.

Other things are also off limits.  Basketball, for one.  I have been graced by genetics with a very powerful frame that gains muscle very easily.  My body is suited for trudging through snow, chasing priests, rowing longboats, forming a shield wall, and general pillaging.  Basketball?  If I can tackle people that might work out.  Basketball with an axe or a sword?  Even better.

Knowing what I absolutely can’t do is important.  It prevents frustration.

Are Viking Christians Bjorn again?

The next category is things I can do that are easy.  Now, many of the things that are easy for me are hard for other people.  And as I grow older, I find that things that used to be easy are becoming not so easy.  This pattern will continue, up and until a thing that used to be easy (breathing) will cease to be easy.  It will be difficult, and loud.  And hopefully someone will make the joke, “oh, Wilder’s just venting.”

But easy is still important.

Then there are the things that I can learn to do.  Taking great pictures is one, and I was working on that, trying to get the right light at the right time.  I still have a lot to learn, because the teacher kicked me out of class for indecent exposure.  All kidding aside, I’m okay at photography, but haven’t spent the time to be great at it, but I can picture getting good at it.

One time I thought I had a “long distance relationship”, but she called it a “restraining order”.

Learning is crucial.  It is the thing that can multiply capabilities, and when they’re used for something important, it can work wonders.  When those capabilities are used for nothing important, it’s the same as multiplication in the real world – it amounts to nothing.

That’s important.  Learning can make us better.  The last category is, in my opinion, where the magic happens:  things I can do, but I think I can’t do.

Like I said, this is the magic.  I had one boss who believed in me even more than I believed in me.  On more than one occasion, he said to me when he gave me a task that I thought was impossible, “Wilder, you can make this happen.”

My boss at the suicide hotline asked me to be a bit less positive.

Nine times out of ten, he was right.  So, nine times out of ten he knew and mentored me to do more than I thought I could do.  That is either the definition of a great boss or a psycho.  In this case, he was a great boss.  The downside?  He set ten impossible goals for himself before breakfasts, too.  In one of those cases, he was wrong.  As I recall, it only cost a few billion (really, not making this up) to the company.  It wasn’t fraud, mind you, he just wasn’t able to do what he thought he could do.

Obviously, he was fired.  And then he managed to make another billion dollar company and make himself several tens of millions in the process.  Even the thing he screwed up still is worth billions.

All because he didn’t allow those that he worked with to limit themselves.

Looking back, the biggest mistakes I made were in overly limiting myself.  When I look at some other friends, I see the same, not swinging for the fence when they had it all.  When I get those phone calls or texts, from the outside it’s generally a trivial call to give advice because I can see the capabilities of my friends and I believe in them.

Sometimes more than they believe in themselves.

The Mrs. has a simple test to see if a cat is a psycho.  “Is it a cat?  It’s a psycho.”

Am I done?

No.  I still have a goal – I want to kick a dent in the Universe.  I think I can.  If my old boss was right, it’ll be a bigger dent than I think it will be.  I’m really hoping that it isn’t the Russian’s weaponizing my singing to use in the Ukraine.

Some things are more horrible than war.

Discipline, Romans, And Spending All The Money

“That’s newspapers for you.  You could fill volumes with what you don’t read in ‘em.” – The Green Berets

I decided never to jog with Marcus Aurelius.  It’s always dangerous to run with Caesars.

Self-discipline is hard, but it starts with the smallest step.  Even (the dead) Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius in his book Meditations talked about how hard it was to get out of bed in the morning.  Marcus talked about how warm and comfy he was under the covers, and how he’d like to stay there, curled up.  In then end, though, he got up because he had responsibility to govern the Empire that was a bit more important than his desire to be comfy.

Me?  There are some mornings I would have given up Gaul for another fifteen minutes.  Okay, maybe not Gaul because of the food, but definitely Judea.

Marcus did the tough (maybe he had a hangover?) thing because he had a responsibility to millions of citizens to do his very best for them, and as nearly as I can determine, he took that seriously.  Plus?  It’s good to be the Emperor.  I hear they didn’t have to wait in the drive through for Chicken McNuggets® and always got enough Hot Mustard™ sauce.

My advice?  Never eat a Kid’s Meal at McDonald’s®.  Their mothers tend to get upset.

The difficult part of discipline is that it requires, well, discipline.  Getting good things in life is difficult – that’s why we work for them.  And that’s why it’s called work.  It’s tough.  But when the seeds are planted, cared for, and weeded, then at harvest it’s time to reap the rewards.  Discipline is like that.  Heck, some sort of east Asian place that I can’t be bothered to look up has a proverb that says that, “A woman who marries a man who works hard every day will never starve.”

I don’t think that was China, because if it was China, they have been starving every century by the tens of millions, especially when they embarked on the Chinese Diet Plan called Communism.  Maybe it was Puerto Rico?  Or Applebee’s™?

Probably not.  But I think it might have ended in a vowel, but not Y, because that’s sometimes only a vowel, and I don’t think that Asians use the same fonts.

So, if even a dead Roman can figure it out, why can’t we?

Some people want to ban Roman numerals.  Not on my watch.

The latest bouts of fiscal insanity in the United States have made me think that none of them have read Marcus Aurelius, or maybe even can read.  What triggered this post is the recent Supreme Court Case about ghosts.  Oh, wait, that’s later.  No, student loans.

Student loans in the United States are a particularly horrible thing that gives money to Leftist professors so that they can indoctrinate youth but the youth has to pay for it until they lose all their teeth or pay it off.  I think that was in the terms and conditions of my student loans, but I can’t be exactly sure, since after I signed my name, they gave me $7,500.  Duh.

The most pernicious thing about student loans is that they live forever.  I paid mine off in January, 2013.  I paid ahead, but didn’t want to pay them off completely if the world ended in December, 2012 (which was a thing).  Oddly, this is a true story, and illustrates how far I’m willing to take a joke.

But student loan forgiveness is just the tip of the iceberg.  For the last five or so years of my life, the government (both Right and Left) has been like a fat girl who decides on a Tuesday night that the diet is over.  That cookie dough?  Sure.  I can eat a tube or two.  Covered in frosting.  Oh, and I’ll just tidy up the frosting container so it doesn’t go bad.  If you’ve given up, why not go all in?

The cannibal decided to go on a vegan diet.  He found a family of them at Whole Foods®.

The government (again, both Right and Left) has decided that there is no limit.  Every Tuesday for them is time to give Ukraine more money for . . . (spins wheel) dental x-ray infrastructure.  Will $23 billion cover that?  Sure, if it were just Ukraine, that would be one thing.  But it’s not just that.  Biden’s Build Back Better means that we’ll just burn cash to make us warm if we run out of oil.

If I seem a bit cynical, it’s because that at every single turn in my life, that I’ve seen fiscal discipline further erode, and money fly a bit freer each day.  At no point have I ever seen (outside of Ron and Rand Paul) and politician say, “stop”.  Apparently, when elected to Congress, the “spend money on everything light” blinks on the dashboard of their cars.

My dashboard keeps telling me “trunk is ajar”.  Silly car.  A trunk isn’t a jar.

There is no discipline.  There is no pretending to have discipline.  It’s all just comfy warm covers and Chicken McNuggies™ while every sense of fiscal discipline is overridden by another trip of the spoon int the Pillsbury™ chocolate frosting.

But that’s okay.  I’m sure it will end fine.  Where’s the frosting?  I think I want to sleep late today.  Oh, but have we spent enough money on Ukraine?

Greeks, Passion, and Mayo

“Why?  Are the Greeks tired of fighting each other?” – Troy

I heard the Greeks kept watch on their infants by using a baby minotaur.

Epictetus is a dead Greek dude.  His name sounds like Epic . . . well, it would make Beavis and Butthead laugh.  Epictetus is, as I mentioned, dead.  So are several billion people, but so, outside of his sorta-funny name, why am I bringing him up on a Friday?

Because he’s one of the people whose ideas have made it down to us because someone decided to invent the original wireless information transfer technique which uses a solid-state information storage media along with speed of light photon transmission:  writing.

One of the things he wrote was this:

Remember that it’s not only the desire for wealth and position that debases us and subjugates us, but also the desire for peace, leisure, travel, and learning.  It doesn’t matter what the external thing is, the value we place on it subjugates us to another.  Where our heart is set; there our impediment lies.

Okay, the truth is, he didn’t write that at all.  He wrote some sort of gibberish with lots of Latin or Greek letters.  Sadly, no one left alive can translate those languages, so we had to guess at the meanings, like Bulgarian mall lawyers poking at the internals of a laser printer with a pen, dimly thinking that might somehow fix the complicated internals and make the magic printer work again, like humans at the dawn of time, worshiping an almighty being, hoping one day to be rewarded with things like mayonnaise, or French fries.

Only you east of the Rockies will get this. I grew up with Best Foods™, which ruins this joke.

Yeah, that’s a run on sentence, but so is the Preamble to the Constitution.  Classic things can’t be rushed.

Anyway, the good thing is, Bulgarian mall lawyers are absolutely amazing at fighting judges over silly restraining orders.  I mean, how could I be charged with trespass if it was just my drone looking in their window?

But Epictetus was trying to tell us something deeper than any silly restraining order.  It’s that what we want is what controls us.  Epictetus just made the point that the desire for power and the desire for peace and a restraining order are equally controlling.  Diogenes, another dead Greek dude who pathetically didn’t speak English, said, “It is the privilege of the gods to want nothing, and of godlike men to want little.”

Remember, Diogenes often walked around naked, yanking his crank in public, so, you know, ewww.  I think Diogenes must have had Bulgarian mall lawyers because I never read that he had a restraining order against him.

What do you call it when a Bulgarian uses bad language?  A Bulgarity.  (This is not my first choice joke, but the other one was pretty rough.  Email me and I’ll share.  It starts with, “how do you get two Bulgarian brothers off of a couch?”)

These dead Greeks, though neither of them ever had a hamburger from McDonald’s™, did point out a very simple truth:  our passions, our desires are what we give ourselves over to.  And those desires don’t have to be bad to control us.

Some of the best times in my life are when I was single mindedly focused on a goal.  In one sense, it is a freeing moment.  In the very best of those times, I become the work.  I lose myself entirely, because I am the goal.  It may sound weird, but there are those moments where time ceases to exist, where I am 100% engaged with what I’m doing.  I lose myself entirely.  This has happened while gathering firewood (I used to call it getting wood, but then I read about Diogenes, so I changed it to gathering firewood) or working on a project, or even writing one of these posts.

It’s awesome.  A day at work goes by in seconds.  And I look at what I’ve done and am satisfied.  I have lived a day that had purpose, that had meaning, even if it’s only meaning that I gave it.

So, were Epictetus and Diogenes wrong?  I mean, it’s not like they’re going to come to my house and give me a wedgie if I make fun of their moms.  They’re dead.

Kinda yes, and kinda no.

Yo momma so old?  Her first crush was Diogenes.

The point is we are not small g gods.  We’re people.  We have desires, like pooping.  Or another glass of wine.  Or eyedrops when our eyes are itchy.  To be a person without desire isn’t to be as a small g god, it’s to be . . . dead, or worse, a zombie or an ice cube or a houseplant.

It’s living in a world where the salt has lost its savor and every day is like going to a gray cubicle with gray carpet and gray walls and a gray chair and doing work that I don’t care about.

Yes, they may be dead (and in the case of Diogenes, a dead chronic masturbator) but I think people who have interpreted them have missed the point.

If we choose our passions, choose what we will do, what makes us mad, and what makes us happy, we have an amazing small g godlike power:  we choose the people that we want to be.  In those moments when I get mad (it happens) I try to step back and ask a simple question:  why am I mad?

I had to kick some resistors that didn’t work out of my house.  Now they’re Ohm-less.

I’ll allow it if it ties to virtue or values.  Otherwise, it’s ego, and I try to choke it back, because in 100 years, absolutely no one will remember it.  My virtue or values?  Those aren’t for sale.  I own those.

I really do think what Epictetus and Diogenes (when he wasn’t gripping the one-eyed wonder weasel) were really trying to tell us was to pick what we were willing to be controlled by.

I choose to be controlled by putting these posts out, three a week.  I choose to do the best podcast ever done weekly.  I choose to go to work, and, on days when there’s enough coffee, to give it everything.

I choose.  If I am to be controlled by my passions, I get to choose them, and I make it a conscious choice.

And if I could choose my Greek name it would be Epic . . . well, I’d better stop there.

This is a family friendly place.

Anyone have TP?

Want to win? Have a good wife.

“Are you drunk?”  “It’s my birthday.  Again.” – The Experts

I ate an abacus – it’s inside what counts.

So, it’s St. Valentine’s day.  Again.

For this year, I decided to go into the deeply romantic box of ideas, and got The Mrs. a bottle of scotch.  Not great a great bottle of scotch, because that’s what I always give her for Christmas (saves on thinking, gents).  Well, this wasn’t a great bottle, but it was also not something you’d use for lighter fluid, either.

Not that The Mrs. won’t drink lighter fluid (don’t ask me about that story!), but because The Mrs. sounds like Kim Carnes afterward.  Anyone else but me listen to Bette Davis Eyes and not think “Marty Feldman Eyes”?

Regardless, here is why I enjoy my time with The Mrs.  As a part of our conversation, we discussed the evolution of modern warfare from the United States Civil War, and World War I.  In it, I brought into play the idea that the Germans had totally melted the minds of the French.

Why do French ghosts smell so bad?  They are covered in sheet.

Why?  Let’s go back to the Franco-Prussian war.  Not Franco-American®, because there were far fewer Spaghetti-O’s® back in 1870.  And Chef-Boyardee™ was still Chef Notbornyet.  Sorry for the digression – it turns out that I bought The Mrs. some scotch, but she bought us some wine.  And by us, I mean me and her, not you and me and her.

Our conversation wandered, and I pointed out the reason the French were such wussies was because of the Franco-Prussian war.  It seems, the French had a far superior rifle, the Chassepot (pronounced “frog hat spinner” because the French don’t even pretend that letters have meaning).  This means that the German soldiers had to attack (they’re Germans, they’re always attacking) for 200 yards (17.3 kiloPascals) while being shot at with relatively accurate rifles before their rifles could shoot back.

You’d think this would mean an easy French victory.  Nah.  The Germans were surrounding Paris within weeks, because, always remember the first dictum:  the French can only win a war in which all of their opponents are French.

Then, The Mrs. demanded (on Valentine’s Day) that we watch either a documentary on WWI or All Quiet on the Western Front (new version, which I had not seen yet).  I bring this out not for any other reason than to brag.  Chocolates?  Flowers?  Nah.  Scotch.  Rom-coms?  No.  The Mrs. demanded we watch a war movie.  It’s like Christmas and we talk about the geopolitics of WWII and The Mrs. demands we watch PattonAgain.

I found a corpse along the road with no arms, head, or legs.  The local police are stumped.

This isn’t entirely bragging, since this is Wednesday and we’re supposed to talk about money.  How do war movies, moderately priced scotch, and romantic discussions about warfare have anything to do about money?

It has everything to do about money.  Everything.

Women can make or break a marriage.  Modern societies, especially in the United States, give women an out, and incentivize them to break up marriages for fun and profit.  Don’t believe me?  Here’s a Tweet® from a Twunt©:

When I first read this, I thought it was sarcasm.  It’s not.  I feel sorry for her wine and cats.

Yeah, she said that.  It’s an awful sentiment that an elected official could say that and remain in office.  I’m beginning to understand why they burned witches at the stake, and becoming much more amenable to that idea.  After a fair trial, of course.  I’m not suggesting that South Dakota do summary executions, but I am suggesting they bring back witch burning.

The economics of the love in 2023 are heavily skewed against those who would love.  In my mind, love is the glue that holds the atom of civilization together.  That atom?  The family.  And no matter how you slice it, there is no world where two women or two men can have actual children, so they cannot form the nucleus of the family.  Unless cats are children.

The economic incentives right now are against child rearing.  It’s amazing to see the number of criminals with no fathers in their lives.  It’s amazing to see the number of children coming from “blended” (i.e., divorced parent) families.  Here in Modern Mayberry, about (Pugsley’s guess) 65% of the kids come from intact, two-parent families.

In my mind?  That’s a number that’s amazingly low.  Sure, I was adopted, but I was adopted into a family where my Mom and Dad had been married for 26 years before I was adopted and The Mrs. family was stable for 61 years until The Mrs. father passed on.  Sure, my family had ups and downs, but their marriage was approximately as stable as helium or the Democrat’s hold on counting votes.  Neither of Ma Wilder or Pa Wilder needed nor wanted surprises.

What they call Frodo if he had lost a leg instead of a finger?  A Hoppit.

Today?  Husband won’t agree to a new dining room table?  Divorce him.  Most divorces are initiated by women.  Because?  They’re unhappy.  I understand that’s a reason, but it’s not a good reason, since, until the caffeine kicks in around 11am each day, I’m unhappy, too, and you don’t see me firebombing Dresden.

But those are the women who even bother to get married.  There’s a deeper pathology here.

What incentive to men use to improve themselves, to work harder, to get into shape, to earn money?

The prospect of wife and family.  If that isn’t there, why bother?  It’s easier to eat Cheetos® and play Call of Duty™:  Ukraine™ on their PS3©.  I’ll admit that this isn’t an attractive mate, but is it any different than a 34-year-old women who has had sex with 143 guys?  Women think their value shouldn’t be based on the number of sexual partners they’ve had, but, dudes, who wants to own a pair of shoes owned by 143 other dudes?

Yeah.  No one.

The structure of incentives is important.  Right now, men are incentivized to eat Cheetos™ and play vidya games.  Right now, women are encouraged to have sex with all the men, and then try to find someone after they’ve gone had sex with all the men, gone to graduate school, lost their fertility, and bonded with wine and cats.

Ugh.

Economics is about incentives.  Give incentives to women to not marry and then divorce at the slightest provocation?  Men will turn into Tostito® munching morons.  It’s simple.  And then both will be sad.  The 45 year-old wine aunt?  She’s not happy, she’s just out of options.  The 30 year-old man-boy?

He’s just looking for a wife, children, and to make a place in society.  That’s it.

Not pictured:  The Mrs.

I’ll say this again – my Gen X road was easier than the Zoomer and Millennial kids.  A young man faces women that are hostile.  That turns him into a man that’s not prepared.  If I might make a modest proposal, let’s bring back shame for women.  And let’s bring back pride for men.

Seems like a fair deal.  And, honestly, the best St. Valentine’s Day present that they could have.  Unless their wife demands they watch a war movie before sending them out to smoke a Rocky Patel® cigar in the hot tub so they can finish watching the documentary about the Franco-Prussian War after having a few glasses of wine and scotch.

Hope you had a Happy Valentine’s Day!

No Way To Go, But Forward

“It’s a hundred and six miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.” – The Blues Brothers

I’ve seen this meme a dozen times, but this is the first time I noticed that Keanu was talking to Sponge Bob and Patrick Starfish.  Now I can’t unsee it.  (All memes today are as-found.)

Today was . . . busy.  On the average day, I manage to manage stuff so that I get my normal life done and then have time to post or do other creative shenanigans.  Not today.  I could give a much longer explanation, such as:  “I ran out of gas. I . . . I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare.  My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners.  An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! It wasn’t my fault, I swear to God!”

But I won’t.  I half expected this, but there was still the outside chance I’d come back in time.

I wasn’t out doing this, but it looks like fun.

So, a very short post on a Friday, and I’ll leave just one thought – there’s no use looking into the rearview mirror of your life.  You can’t go back there.  The only path that you and I have (provided you don’t have a time machine) is forward.

Me?  I look around, and take stock.  The mistakes I’ve made?  I don’t dwell on them, because I can’t change them.  I can only look at what I have, the talents I have, the support of the people who love or believe in me, and go forward.

There is no way out, but through.  Unless you live in Canada, where the “easy way out” is now a prescribed medical treatment.

I always thought we’d see another Pol Pot, just didn’t think he would be as much of a pansy as Trudeau.

So, remember, there is one direction, forward.  There is one attitude, determination.  And there is one moment:  now.

What you do with all of that, is up to you.

As for me?  I’m going to go hit the hay.  I’ll comment on comments from the previous post tomorrow.

I’m sleepy.

Your move, Mr. Bond.  Do you really think those Space Marines® can hold out?