41 Things I Think I Know (2022 Revision)

“That’s a short list. That can’t be everyone you want to kill. Are you sure you’re not forgetting someone? – Game of Thrones

The Mrs. asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can’t read it.

This is a revamp of an older post from way back in 2017. Are these fundamental rules? No. But between when I first wrote them and today I didn’t see much I’d change, except item 22.

  1. Tell the truth. This will have the beneficial added benefit of changing your behavior so you’re not ashamed of what you do. The whole truth. Even about that. And that. People might not like you, but they’ll respect you. Except for the thing about the cat. Keep that to yourself – no one will understand.
  2. Showing up on time is important. It shows respect. It is also is easy to track, if you’re a boss wanting to get rid of people. Even if you do a great job, you’ll be the first to go if you show up late. I guess that’s changed since the invasion of Ukraine and the sanctions – everyone has stopped Russian.
  3. Don’t give up. Sometimes break-out success means ten years of study and effort and of not giving up. Even Johnny Depp succeeded, which proves that anyone can.
  4. There are no friends like those formed in youth. When you’re ten, there are no pretenses. The cruel calculus of testosterone and estrogen has yet to set in. Greed is not an issue.
  5. Be nice. Life is already really hard enough for many people. Don’t be their villain, unless it pays really well, and even then, the karma is . . . tough.

One time I asked for a lobster tail at dinner. The waitress started, “Well one day this brave lobster . . . .”

  1. When you speak, or write, or think, you own the space between the words. You have the ability to turn your words into something amazing, since infinite possibility lies between one word and the next. This is the one most people will ignore, but one of my most powerful things that I found out for myself.
  2. Don’t continually do things you hate, or things that make you feel like a failure. Putting yourself in situations like that is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It also destroys your ability to naturally smell like musk and sandalwood.
  3. Apologize. But only when you are wrong, which, if you regularly read this blog, is hardly ever. If you were not wrong, don’t apologize.
  4. Be of value. If you don’t contribute, you’re part of the problem. Which problem? All of them.
  5. Don’t make yourself into a victim. Almost everybody is where they are because of their choices. Own your choices, and own your outcomes. No one likes victims.

Jussie was just sent to prison. I hope he doesn’t beat himself up over that.

  1. If you really are a victim? Act like you’re not. Because even if victimhood status is legit, see item 10. No one likes people who act like victims, even when they really are.
  2. Opportunity is found where responsibility is neglected.
  3. Solve someone else’s biggest problem: that’s the virtuous road to wealth. It’s also harder.
  4. Remember, giving a gift creates a debt in the mind of the recipient. The larger the gift, the bigger the debt. And nobody likes someone they owe a lot of money to – giving large gifts can make people not like you.
  5. If you don’t want to go to bed because you don’t want to get up tomorrow? Fix your life.
  6. If you don’t want to get out of bed because you don’t want to live the day? Fix your life.
  7. Have children and have them early. But only if you have a spouse. And can keep your spouse.
  8. Cooking your own food is cheaper. And it gives time for conversation. Some of the best conversations occur around the barbeque grill and the deck late into the night.

I grilled for the board of directors once. It pleased the steakholders.

  1. Be tough when you have to be. To be kind when toughness is required results in tragedy.
  2. A pleasure repeated too often becomes a punishment.
  3. Beware of ignoring public opinion. Public opinion resulted in witch burning, the guillotine and Hula Hoops ®. You can be on the other side, but understand there may be consequences.
  4. Don’t see conspiracy when simple laziness, plain stupidity, or normal greed would explain the situation just as well. Removed after living through 2019, 2020, 2021 and the first quarter of 2022.
  5. Schools used to be run by school boards. Now they’re run by unions and lawsuits. None of these groups have the students in mind.
  6. You don’t win ‘em all. Deal with it.
  7. You are the sum of your experience, your intellect, your body, your surroundings, and the people you interact with. You also control your own change. So, get up. The you of today isn’t ready for tomorrow unless the you of today is changing to meet those challenges.
  8. Betrayal of trust is an indication of character. Never trust someone who betrays you. Forgive? Perhaps. Trust again? Never.
  9. Real personal changes don’t happen unless an emotional experience occurs. The bigger the change, the more significant the experience needed.

What’s worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting shot.

  1. You have your shot. Would have and could have don’t exist. (Unless the Many Worlds Theory of quantum mechanics is correct, in which case all things happen, so have another beer.)
  2. The best (and maybe only) way to win at gambling is to own the casino.
  3. No matter how awesome your idea, it has no value unless you make it real. This takes risk, execution, and work. Which is a lot more difficult than talking about your wonderful idea.
  4. Unless your boss is a good boss, being younger and smarter than him won’t impress him, it will make him jealous or fearful. Neither of those things are good.
  5. Having a boss that makes less money than you is also not good. Envy is a powerful emotion.
  6. Know the strengths and weaknesses of your (biological) parents. You’re not too much different than them. At best, you can avoid their weaknesses. At worst, you’ll follow every one of their downsides.
  7. Tip well, if you can afford it. Waiting on tables is tough work. And if you do tip well? They’ll remember you and take care of you. It’s nice to show up and find the right bottle of wine waiting for you.
  8. You’re not going to win the lottery. Unless it’s the one that Shirley Jackson wrote about. (LINK)
  9. If you’re traveling in winter, travel on the top half of your gas tank. It doesn’t cost any more.
  10. Keep your napkin in your lap while at the dinner table.
  11. Always use deodorant. And if in doubt? Have a breath mint, too.
  12. Keep in touch with people who have helped you, so you can help them. And because you’re a person.
  13. If you have too much stuff, your stuff will own you. Except books. You can have as many of those as you want. And ammo.
  14. The only way that you can know another person across centuries is to read what they’ve written. Have you written anything worthy of reading by your great-great grandchildren? No? Get to work.

What’s the name of the Grim Reaper’s dog? Snuffles.

  1. You’re going to die, and we all die alone. Understand that the only person with you throughout your life is . . . you. Be prepared to keep yourself and those you love alive in any emergency you can imagine. Our time will come when it comes, but there’s no reason not to push it back as far as you can.

Author: John

Nobel-Prize Winning, MacArthur Genius Grant Near Recipient writing to you regularly about Fitness, Wealth, and Wisdom - How to be happy and how to be healthy. Oh, and rich.

28 thoughts on “41 Things I Think I Know (2022 Revision)”

  1. About number 41 – writing for your great-grandchildren. On Dec 31, 1999 I was out driving around with my teenage son. We were talking about Y2K and the future and all that when I came up with an idea. We stopped at a bookstore and bought an acid-free-paper journal. We both agreed to write 5 pages in that journal at some point in our lives and pass it down to our own children to do the same. The goal we agreed on is to get 40 to 50 unbroken generations writing to each other, shepherding the journal specifically from 2000 AD to 3000 AD. Surely somebody would have something interesting to say, eventually, in a thousand year old book…

    That journal is still sitting on a bookshelf behind me, empty. I’m not getting any younger. It may be time to put pen to paper and take it to Seattle with me to pass on to Chris (somewhat a late bloomer as a father) when I visit my toddler and infant grandchildren in July. My version of a letter in a bottle.

    I can describe the night of the Apollo 11 moon landing as an eyewitness, and I have a small fragment of the Apollo 11 mylar thermal wrap to include in the journal as a historical artifact from my own time. But how to describe Trump? COVID? Ukraine? And what unimaginable things will be written on page 125 in the year 2522? And will this journal ever make it to the Lunar History Museum in Shackleton Crater at the Moon’s South Pole for a ceremonial reading in 3000AD?

    That’s one thing I’ll never know. Time to go make breakfast.

    1. There’s an organization called “Letters from Dad”……I wrote both my wife and kids letters during different stages in their lives….I need to get back into it….

  2. Some real jewels in this list John. I’ll only take issue with #26. Forgiveness is always the best choice for YOU Forgiveness benefits the forgiver far, far more than the forgiven. Forgiveness “clears the cache”. It lightens your load. No, you won’t and likely can’t forget. Nor should you. But forgive? Every time. It’s work, and it’s hard work at times, but it pays great dividends.

    1. Yup, it’s fixed now, you’re right – and that sense you speak of was always the intent. (Find and Replace hit me on that one . . . )

  3. 26. Betrayal of trust is often unforgivable. Never trust someone who betrays you. Forgive? Yes Trust again? Never.

    There. FIFY.

  4. Sage advice. Worthy of compiling into a document to print and send to my children.

    That is, with Horseless’ valid “fix” included…..

  5. That journal? It would be priceless.
    I’m doing the Storyworth version – at the end of it, you get a book you can hand down. Each week for a year, you get prompts that you write an answer to (you can add photos, too). I completed about 37 of the prompts, then decided to renew for another year, because I had more to say.
    Whether I do the Storyworth version again, or just write a Word doc, I’m planning to continue passing along the many stories I’ve picked up over the years. I was fortunate to have grandparents around, who lived through the Edwardian age onward, and were functional until their late 80s-90s. I learned a lot by listening to them talk.

    1. Thx for the encouragement. Here’s why I think my journal has a shot at ending up on the Moon – make a journal entry and pass it on to the next generation, you get to sign a 3×5 card as a thousand-year-journal-project participant that is to be kept in this envelope:

      https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Dn9S8y_nXMpeiCNXmQKJ7w_njOgK05gp/view?usp=sharing

      But if my journal somehow ends up on Mars instead of the Moon, my ashes won’t roll over in their test tube….

      https://pages.celestis.com/memorial/

  6. Title involves 41 things. Last item is #42. I figure you’re testing us to see if we’re awake on a Monday morning. Or just feeling extra-generous. Or both.

    1. Never mind — I see that #22 was actually dropped. So it doesn’t count. See, I failed the awake-on-Monday-morning test!

  8. Do you believe in the hereafter?
    Now you know what we’re here after.

  9. 12. Opportunity is found where responsibility is neglected.

    Kinda confused by this one. Are you advocating for neglecting responsibility? That sounds…risky.

    Or are you saying that you can find opportunity for yourself where someone else has neglected their responsibility? You were, as you’ve often said, adopted as a child.

    1. The latter – if someone has neglected their responsibility – I have found opportunity in being responsible where they weren’t . . . .

  10. “28. You have your shot would have and could have don’t exist.”
    .
    Perfesser,
    If I was me, I would either break this into two sentences or divide it with a semi-colon.

    1. Fixed! Thank you. Older version cleared out my punctuation (no idea why) and I missed it . . . . again, thank you!

  11. That is scary. How did you know about the cat? I was sure the only person who knew about it had passed away.

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