The goal is getting from Point A to Point B as creatively as possible, so, technically, they are doing parkour as long as Point A is “delusion” and Point B is “the hospital.” – The Office
The view out of the back of Stately Wilder Manor. We’re horrible neighbors to those poor people.
“Such as are your habitual thoughts, such will also be the character of our mind.” – Marcus Aurelius
I’ve been a person who has used goals as a motivator and scorecard all of my life, and then comes Dilbert creator Scott Adams to tell me I’m doing it all wrong. Adams writes about systems, and how they’re preferable to goals, and I’ve written about him writing about systems before (LINK).
But, you’re thinking, “Friday is a day for Health topics, John Wilder, and you’re blathering on about systems versus goals. Have you lost the plot, man?”
Well, no. This week I read something that was pretty eye opening:
Most Diets Fail.
The data shows a stark wasteland: somewhere between 65% and 95% of dieters regain all of their weight (and most get a bonus of an even higher weight rebound) within three years. All of their weight.
One researcher noted (LINK to Traci Mann) the reason that diets failed is because the entire biology of the person losing weight fights against them like a rabid Rottweiler tugging on a crate of Slim Jims®. The body responds with things like a slower metabolism, and significantly higher hunger pangs, since after you start losing weight, your body starts fighting back with more signals that you’re starving, even as you are still 20 pounds more than you weighed in college.
And that makes sense. Your body is made to survive. All of the people who were losing chunks of body weight and thought, “Oh, this is fine,” died. No kids. And those most likely to live through a famine? People who can slow their metabolism and get really focused on finding chow.
So, you’re hungry, and your metabolism slows. You need willpower to fight, right, and you’ll win?
Seriously, do you think Oprah Winfrey, a self-made billionaire and likely one of the smartest 0.001% of Americans, is lacking in willpower?
No, she isn’t.
Further, the willpower of dieters is subject to distraction in ways that non-dieters can’t imagine. Somebody brings donuts to work? You don’t have to just resist them the first time someone says, “Hey, John Wilder, would you love a nearly perfect mixture of fats and sugars, covered in powdered sugar and filled with lemon pudding?”
YES I DO!
But I say no.
And when the donuts go onto the counter in the break room near the precious, precious coffee? I have to sit and deal with their lemon-stares all day long.
To successfully resist, I have to say “no” the first time, and again, “no” every time the temptation is available.
(Once coping method I use to reduce desire for the wonderful thing that is donuts? I imagine someone was picking their nose and then putting their sweaty fingers on all of the donuts. Then they don’t look so pretty anymore.)
Again, unless I say “no” every single time that temptation raises its pretty donut face, I lose, but I also understand that, regardless of all of the physical facts associated with hormones, metabolism, and hunger, the person holding the fork is still . . . me.
Some dieters succeed. Why?
We previously talked about change (LINK) the emotions that drive it, but changing a lifestyle is like changing a habit.
The successful dieters transition from diets being a goal, and making it a system or a value and no longer a goal. Let’s say your goal is to weigh 120 pounds. And you get there. Now what? Eat whatever you want? That’s what caused the problem in the first place.
To win, you have to have a system.
And that’s why I hate cheat days. I mean I hate them because they destroy entirely the results that I’m looking for in a diet. It undermines the habit I’m creating by saying, “Hey, John Wilder, it’s cool if you want to put a gallon of pudding in your armpits, and eat another gallon. It’s a cheat day.”
For me, a cheat meal on Saturday turned into a cheat meal plus a cheat lunch, plus a cheat lunch on Sunday, and, well, why not a cheat Sunday dinner. It legitimized the concept that I could eat ANYTHING at that time and, well, another meal couldn’t hurt that much more, right?
No, a cheat meal is a planned failure for a system, because it idolizes the exact habits you’re trying to eradicate. Moderation is not my fried, and, looking at the people who actually have lost and kept the weight off? There’s nothing moderate about them. They’re fanatical, and driven by the burning desire to change.
So they develop a system, or at least the winners do. For the rest of us? Pudding, anyone?