Thanksgiving Thanks, 2022

“Two men are dead! This is not the time for petty sibling squabbles. That’s what Thanksgiving is for.” – Psych

I knew an Irishman who used to sell lawn chairs.  I’ll never forget Paddy O’Furniture.

As this is Thanksgiving week, I thought I would share a few things that I’m thankful for.  These are in no particular order.

  • I’m thankful that almost every single one of my problems is self-inflicted, and has a clear way to solution. I am where I am because of who and what I am, and I can change everything I don’t like, when I want to.
  • I’m thankful for being with The Mrs., because either of us with other people would be just an unending misery for them. I believe the Geneva Convention specifically lists being married to either The Mrs. or to me as a Crime Against Humanity.
  • I’m thankful for Elon Musk and the amusement he creates by stirring the pot. Do I think he’s on our side?   But I think he irritates enough of the people who hate us to make me laugh, nearly daily.
  • I’m thankful for friends. I have a Polish friend who is a sound tech.  And a Czech one, too.  And a Czech one, too.

Or if I opened a trampoline in Prague, would the Czechs keep bouncing?

  • I’m thankful for standard time. Daylight savings time is the tool of the Devil.
  • I’m thankful for the “ringer and vibration off” switch on cell phones. And I should use it more.  There’s something to be said for uninterrupted focus time.  When going out to dinner, we often ditch our cellphones at home.  This leads to this crazy thing called “talking to each other.”
  • I’m thankful that The Boy is home from Midwestia State U (located right next to Wassamatta U) and that he and Pugsley talk for hours when they’re together. A loyal brother can be the closest friend as you move through life.

I recently bought a toilet brush.  Long story short:  I’m going back to toilet paper.

  • I’m thankful that I got up late today, and that I’m writing this early.
  • I’m thankful that, right now in this place and time, my family is safe, and we are together. This is why Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday:  there isn’t the stress from presents, merely a time to give thanks and be together.
  • I’m thankful for decongestants. I’d tell a joke about me having a virus, but I’m worried you might spread it.
  • I’m thankful that I live in a time that has the greatest access to knowledge of any place and any time in history, allowing me to read the thoughts of the greatest men who ever lived and the ideas that influenced our civilization and showed us what truth is, almost at a whim. Oh, and there’s also CNN®.
  • I’m thankful for cheese.

A Pomeranian puppy looked Medusa in the eye – he became pomegranite. 

  • I’m thankful for living in a time and place where starvation is unknown, though the Left keeps wanting to put it back into play.
  • I’m thankful that The Mrs. talked me into buying the chair that I sit in to write these posts. I had to get rid of my old recliner.  Me and my old recliner?  We went way back.
  • I’m thankful for beer. It actually made one of my friends smarter, you know, Budweiser©?
  • I’m thankful for hard exercise, where when I’m done, I know I’ve given it my all. I try to use the workout the actors who played the Marvel® superheroes use, but I get Thor just thinking about it.

I accidentally hit my Nokia® with a hammer, and took it to Best Buy™ so the Geek Squad© could fix it.  Best Buy® said they don’t work on hammers.

  • I’m thankful that the WD-40© fixed the front doorknob. I promise this really worked – it’s non-friction.
  • I’m thankful that Pugsley and The Boy are sons I can be proud of, strong and with their own opinions for their own reasons, and with exactly the character that I had hoped for. It wasn’t easy, and no matter what I do, German children will always be kinder.
  • I’m thankful for Ma and Pa Wilder, who, though gone, helped me become the man I am today. There was a time when I had a difficult relationship with them:  when I was born, I didn’t talk to them for two years.
  • I’m thankful to have lived through some of the most interesting times in human history, and having seen amazing advances in technology. And Chia Pets®.
  • I’m thankful for the first sip of hot coffee on a cool morning. I’m thankful for the last sip of coffee on a hot day.  I guess words cannot espresso how much I like it.

What was the subtitle for War and Peace?  Tsar Wars.

  • I’m thankful for the troubles I’ve had in life, because those have made me better. When I was young, Ma Wilder called me a pirate when I was learning the alphabet, since I always got lost at C.
  • I’m thankful for the talents that I was born with, because those gave me capacity. In fact, I have one talent that I’ll brag about:  I can always tell what’s inside a wrapped present.  It’s a gift.
  • I’m thankful for winter. Winter is the time of year when things are quiet, and I can think.  Sometimes I work on math, which makes The Mrs. say that I’m cold and calculating.
  • I’m thankful that I don’t have regrets, and go to sleep soundly. I often sleep without pajamas, which seems to bother them at work.

And I’m thankful to spend time with you folks every week.  Happy Thanksgiving!!

Author: John

Nobel-Prize Winning, MacArthur Genius Grant Near Recipient writing to you regularly about Fitness, Wealth, and Wisdom - How to be happy and how to be healthy. Oh, and rich.

21 thoughts on “Thanksgiving Thanks, 2022”

    1. “Standard time is the devil. Who wants it dark at 430?”

      Prolly was ‘acceptable’, for the better part of..https://www.worldatlas.com/articles/how-long-have-humans-been-on-earth.html

      First hit. Lazy. My trust in ‘The Science’ knows no bounds. Right up there with the ‘immutable’ Laws of Physics. (Please disregard any ‘abberations’, ’bout the time of the ‘Big Bang’. Logically and ‘scientifically’ explained by Dark Energy, And Dark Matter. Waaay beyond my abilities to comprehend. The %’s involved and…)

      Nary a hope of discovering the Why’s and Therefore’s.

      All my life? i thought 2% Milk had 98% of the fat removed! ’til i started playing with cheese making. IIRC, 3% is standard, a breed or two is/was marginally higher, and even THAT is ‘suspect’. Now. The Crap in the stores, ESPECIALLY the ‘UHP’, or whatever they are calling it these days, is basically WORTHLESS for making REAL Cheese. ‘Biologically Dead’ would be another turn of the phrase.

      Like i said, WHEY beyond me. Plenty of $ tied up in books, Equipment, Yet another ‘hobby’ i may never delve into/develop. IT IS a FEDERAL OFFENSE to sell ‘Unprocessed’ Milk. Maximum Yield. Drank it warm, straight from the teat as a child.

      “6000 Yrs” for ‘modern Humans’ seems popular. Prophetic if ya dig into it.

      Prolly age contingent to some °, but basically One went to bed when it was dark. Woke up when the sun came up, or slightly before, depending what was on Your social Calendar for the day. Like getting Food. Or Water.

      “Standard time is the devil. Who wants it dark at 430?”

      Almost unequivocally a certainty. NOT the People in Ukraine. Prolly PRAYING fervently for the Dawn. So they can TRY to scrounge food, heat, etc. and not get blown-up. Or Shot.

      IF You ‘Believe’ ANYTHING in the media. Personally? i’m NOT buying ANY of it. @ least until geraldo is embedded.

      Way past my normal bedtime. But the Tryptophan coma…

      Ukraine? may be coming to a town near You?

  1. Of many many many things I am thankful for (most of which you, John, have so eloquently covered) I want to voice my thanks for my father. He died almost 4 years ago. I think about him often, and for several reasons even more lately, and especially at this time of year. He did a LOT for me as a kid, most of which I totally did not appreciate at the time. The more I think about it, the more I realize just how lucky I was then and am today. So after all this generic blather, cause I ain’t gonna go into details or I’ll start to cry, this Thanksgiving I urge you all to reach out to those you love and tell them just how thankful you are they are a part of your wonderful life. While you still can

  2. John, what a wonderful (and pun filled!) list. Tsar Wars…

    Among the many, many things I have to be thankful for this and every year, like Ricky I would add my father to the list. With his passing this year, it made me go back and take and accounting and (again) like Ricky, realize all that the man had done and been in my life, often when I was too stupid or self-centered to understand or care.

    So yes, reach out – not just to family (not everyone gets along with theirs of course), but anyone that made an impact on your life. It is never too late to say “thanks”.

    (Also, when Na Clann, get together, they chatter as much as Pugsley and The Boy sound like they do, which is good. We will not be around forever, and they will need each other).

  3. HEY!!! Wassamatta U!!!

    Pugsley should have gone there and played football alongside Bullwinkle. Sadly, I don’t think the episode with them defeating Mud City could be made today, as WU used “Confederate battle plans” to win the “Civil War”.

  4. Thanks for the dad jokes and many reasons for being thankful this year. Have a safe and fun Thanksgiving! Our family’s main rule about family gatherings, it is all good until somebody gets shot. 🙂

  5. I am especially thankful that your supply of puns is finite (although, I suspect said supply is sorta like the speed limit in Italy: there is one, but no one has been able to hit it yet).
    Many are our blessings, for now and ever more, despite the darkness we are tried with. I shall cling to these when things get… more difficult.
    A very happy thanksgiving to all. God Bless America.

  6. Russia has banned LGQTB agitprop!
    I’m thankful for knowing who my enemy is and not being told by some owned by external paymasters occupational government.
    Alone is more fun than being around some fake phony rat vultures.
    Chairs are for wrestling kabuki.

  7. I’m thankful for many things, and one of my blessings is having the ability to read the thoughts of others, and enjoy their moments in life.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

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