Life Is Hard For A Reason. A Good Reason. Plus Hot Chicks.

“Life’s short and hard like a bodybuilding elf.” – Bloodhound Gang

Regardless, the people at his funeral will be called Paul-bearers.

I bought the book Dune by Frank Herbert when I was a kid.  I still recall buying it as it was on one of the monthly trips we took to the book store when we ventured off of Mount Wilder.  Ma Wilder was horribly indulgent when it came to books or other healthy creative outlets, like model kits.  Books had an unlimited budget around the house, and she never particularly cared which books, as long as I was reading them.  As such, at two or three novels a week from age 10 to 16, I read a lot.

I still do.

Dune was one of those.  I read it before I started driving.  I remember reading it in the time after finishing mowing Grandma Wilder’s lawn and before I was picked on a beautiful summer day decades ago.  One thing that struck me is the description in the book of the planet Salusa Secundus.  As a kid I mentally pronounced it “Salsa” Secundus, and, well, it is a pretty spicy planet.

I was told to bring an extra jar of liquid cheese, in queso-emergency.

In Herbert’s description, Salusa Secundus was a hell world, horrible weather, murderous beasts, extreme temperatures, awful terrain.  It was also the Emperor’s prison where he tossed away the worst criminals of his interstellar empire.  “ . . . the mortality rate among new prisoners is higher than sixty percent.”

Yet, here was where the Emperor got his fanatical and tough warriors, the feared Hardeharhar.  Oops, different book.  I mean the Sardaukar®.

Why there?  Well, if you could survive there, you could survive on any planet that a man could live on.  And if you could make it though the gauntlet of prisoners trying to kill you, congratulations, you survived the initiation process.

The guards at Big Ben in London look tired!  I guess they’re working around the clock.

The idea isn’t a new one.  The Spartans had a similar story, as retold by Plutarch, who, despite his name, was not Mickey Mouse’s™ dog:

Another boy . . . when some of his companions had stolen a young fox and delivered it to him . . . hid it under his gown; and though the angry little beast bit through his side to his very guts, he endured it quietly, that he might not be discovered.  When the searchers were gone . . . [his friends] chid him roundly, saying, ‘It had been better to produce the fox, than thus to conceal him by losing your own life.’  ‘No, no!’ said he, smiling, ‘it is better to die than to be detected in a base attempt at theft.’

Our teacher told us this story when I was in second grade.  Yes.  They told it in a somewhat different variation, but they were telling it to seven-year-olds.  No trigger warning.  No safe space.  Just a story about a kid who was so tough that he’d let a fox eat his intestines rather than show weakness.

I think I have an idea where Herbert took his inspiration for the Hardeharhar from.

But at the Best Buy© in Athens you can get advice from the Greek Squad©.

This is a story that resonates, and the deeper it resonates the truer it is.  We don’t become strong by being bathed in rose water and sleeping on satin sheets and eating our fill of lemon-cream PEZ© every day, and sailors don’t become captains on calm seas.

We don’t become emotionally strong by never facing hardship.

We don’t become physically strong by sitting on a couch.

We don’t live lives of purpose without getting bruised.  Any thing of purpose and worth that one might do will be opposed.  Period.  Either the odds are against it, the gods are against it, or other people are against it.  Sometimes all three.

These are the good fights, if founded in the True, Beautiful and Good.  These are the things that are worth the time and effort and pain.  These are the things that my scar tissue prepared me for.  A life that is based on something that Epictetus said:

Don’t you understand that amounts to saying that I would so prepare myself to endure, and then let anything happen that will happen?

An Epic Cow is really Legend Dairy.

That’s a strong statement.  And in a life filled with challenges, it’s hard to understand sometimes why we faced the challenges we did, why we have the scars and bruises that we do.  I think it’s because if they didn’t break us and they made us better prepared.  Yeah, even Nietzsche was right a time or two, if you include his magnificent mustache.

What then, does this leave us with?

We have today.  We have this moment.  We have the amazing gift that we can do anything we wish to right now.  We can make vows to change the world, we can dedicate (or rededicate) ourselves to fighting for what we know is True, Beautiful, and Good.

And that’s why we’re here.  We’re not here for comfort.  We’re not here for leisure.  We’re not here for quiet.  A quiet universe is a dead universe.  A universe without conflict is a dead universe.  A universe without purpose is a dead universe.

How much mass is in the universe?  All of it.

We do not live in a dead universe.  We’re breathing, fighting, aberrations, statistical flukes and inconvenient, stubborn fools fighting against entropy and common sense.  We see the world and keep going, because, deep down, we have our choices, our reasoned choices that allow us to get up to fight another day.

Or give up.

Me?  I choose to keep going, come what may.

Besides, now I’m hungry and am looking for chips and salsa.

Extra spicy.  I think I’m ready.