“This film is only for Madagascar and Iran, neither of which accept American copyright law.” – Bowfinger
I’ve heard that if a golf ball lands on a house, it’s scored as a home-in-one. (all memes as-found)
If you were sleeping under a rock (not the iRaq©, which has been officially purchased by Apple®) The United States and Israel dropped a surprise airstrike package on Iran like it was Amazon Prime® Day for regime change.
Supreme Leader Khamenei? Gone.
Nuclear sites? Smoking craters.
Military bases? Swiss cheese.
Iran fired back with hundreds of drones and ballistic missiles at Israel and pretty much every country in the neighborhood from Bahrain to Qatar. I’m especially offended by Qatar, because if a word has a “Q” in it, it should have a “U” as well. Qatar. That’s just wrong, man. It bothers me enough that I think they should kick Qatar out of the UN, but the argument against that is that it’s an unnecessary Qatar solo.
Vlad the Impaler’s favorite joke starts this way: “So this bar goes into this guy…”
Back to the war. Er, special military operation. It’s still early in the game, but in true 2020s fashion, the winners so far seem to be no one except the guys selling missile insurance and the printers at the Federal Reserve©.
Are we done yet? No, we’re not. So, let’s look at The Bad and The Good, at least so far.
The Bad
Energy prices are exploding upward faster than a Houthi suicide bomber on Red Bull®.
Oil is headed toward levels so high I won’t be able to bathe in it anymore, feeling the luxury of 10-W40 as it coats every inch of my skin. I remember when crude oil was cheap enough I could afford to fill my pool with it.
Sadly, those days are gone. Brent crude (a proxy for crude oil that shows up on a ship) is up over 40 percent since the strikes started. Analysts are whispering $110-plus if they have bought futures, and I’ve heard that it might go higher, still.
High energy prices act like an immediate tax increase on everything except paper straws in plastic wrappers in California. Periodically purchased Pringles®? Pricier. Pickles? Pricier. Plaster of Paris? Pricey. PEZ® is even presently a pretty penny purchase.
Oh, wait, pennies are too expensive to make.
I think King Arthur would be interested in this, since at either end they’d need a place to park, which would mean two places called Camelot.
Meanwhile the United States is burning through billions of dollars of precision munitions that take years to manufacture just to turn perfectly good Iranian concrete into expensive Iranian gravel. Concrete costs a few hundred bucks per cubic yard and you can pour a bunch in an afternoon if there are enough Mexicans around.
Our missiles? Millions per missile and the supply line is months to years for even the ones that keep missing the Iranian missiles.
I make it a point never to scream into a colander, since it might strain my voice.
Iran, on the other hand, is lobbing $3,000 drones that somehow managed to damage a $14 billion natural gas facility that took a decade to design and build. We brought a sledgehammer made of gold. They bring the fly swatter made of spite after decades of sanctions required that they work with nothing.
The policy is deeply unpopular with the American public. Polls show most people want nothing to do with this adventure except the tar and feather merchants who are prepping for higher tar prices, but think that feathers may come down enough so they can make a profit.
That face you make when you swap out something 80% of the American public are for versus something that 16% are for.
Iran is sucking all the oxygen out of the room and taking the focus off domestic issues like making beer cheaper or figuring out how to get illegal aliens and H-1B visa holders to stop turning the United States into either Guatemala or Mumbai.
Instead? We are arguing about whether blowing up another desert dictatorship is worth another trillion we do not have, which is gonna go great at the polls come November.
The Good
Every cloud has a silver lining, even when the cloud is radioactive fallout.
This mess is making my prediction (it’s in writing here on the site, but I’m too lazy to look it up) that the national debt doubles every eight years look less like a prediction and more like a weather forecast. In truth, it is that, since I can do math and see that, yeah, every 8 years the national debt has doubled since 1973.
The bright side of this debt? At least half of us get shiny new dollars to spend every eight years instead of those boring old dollars. Inflation is just another word for free money!
Last year, I could walk into the store with $100 and walk out with 50 pounds of ribeye. Not now. They installed security cameras.
I have been rough on Qatar so far, but one citizen from that nation may be of use in regime change in Iran due to the dire straits of the current situation. They should check out Qatar George, he knows all the Kurds.
If we play our cards right, Iran may follow through on its threats to take India, Africa, and the Pakistanis off the Internet, and remove them from all electronic communications. Hey, that is a public service more useful than anything Congress has done in years. No more spam scam calls from overseas call centers.
As a bonus, Pakistan has already hinted that since it cannot hit the United States directly it will nuke India instead if things get spicy. So, what exactly is the downside of that?
India would probably try to scam free Internet from Australia, which would come from a LAN down under.
Another bright spot is that we now know that Chinese air defense systems are as effective as barbells on a space station. Iran uses plenty of Beijing’s hardware and it did not exactly shine against American and Israeli jets. People in Taiwan should sleep easier tonight. If the Chinese who would invade them are equipped with the same made-in-China wonders, the invasion fleet might sink when it hits the water.
Shipping is getting a makeover too. Many tankers are now taking the long way around Africa instead of the Strait of Hormuz. This will be nice because it will allow cheese to age properly on the extra weeks at sea. Real cheddar needs time, and is not a rush job. The downside? Somalian pirates will not be able to steal and hijack as much cargo, so they will be forced to open more Learing Centers®.
Melons have traditional weddings. They cantaloupe.
Finally, what happens if the A.I. boom collapses because the market tanks and liquidity dries up? This is perfect. The Federal Reserve© could print even more money to paper it over. Then they could roll out trackable Central Bank Digital Currency to replace the failed dollar. Who could lose with that? My every purchase monitored for wrongthink while the dollar dies like a good idea on Facebook®.
It’s a win-win for the surveillance state, we’re all poor and can’t have privacy!
The real bright spot after all this is that I did find out the difference between Qatar and Abu Dhabi. In Qatar, watching The Flintstones is not allowed, but the people of Abu Dhabi do.
I am thrilled that I may not be the only person alive who caught this one – Qatar George he knows all the Kurds. Fantastic. Music from my childhood.
Bravo John that was your BEST to date
Thank you!
Glad someone got it 🙂
Change.org petition to get rid of Susie Wiles: https://c.org/qSKhdvpp9L
If Trump makes iran take a knee, what will all the traitors and doom sayers report then? I was somewhat amazed at how the quislings sprang out of the darkness as soon as the war started. Oh, well, on to Minneapolis! Haven’t seen a lot of the commie dupes lately.
I am 100% for an Iran that is incapable of hurting anything. But I am 100% of us not being anywhere near them, too.
There was an attempted mass shooting at a nearby golf course this weekend. Nobody died, but he did put a hole in one.
(rimshot)
Ha! That fits this post to a tee.
So much chaos.
Tomorrrow is supposed to be Bomb Iran Back Into The Stone Age day, or at least into the early 1800s before electricity, or unless TACO. The water desalination plants will be next so that only the camels can live there. I commented earlier predicting US Marines would take Kharg Island. Now a second MEU has been dispatched, which maybe means Qeshm (with no “u”) Island is an invasion target too?
https://www.aljazeera.com/features/2026/3/17/inside-qeshm-irans-underground-missile-fortress-and-geological-marvel
Speaking of gold hammers, those just got cheaper because gold has crashed by $1000 per ounce. Ouch for stackers like me. But I’m not worried a bit, this is just Dubai (which handles 20% of the world’s gold) exchanging gold “store-of-value” into billionaire “get the hell out of Dodge” cash. Once those beautiful, gleaming Gulf cities are ghost towns with empty airports, the tumbleweeds of inflation are gonna come blowing thru their streets – and ours. Let’s see what the gold price is then.
Meanwhile, the Russians are on a successful Spring offensive in Ukraine and 70,000+ bodies in Gaza won’t bury themselves. But holy cow, have you seen those TSA airport lines and gas prices!?! Squirrel!
Speaking of gas prices, the US is 100% self sufficient in petroleum and higher pump prices really mean ExxonMobil is choosing to make extra profit selling our fracked oil on the world market instead of just to local 7-11s. A petroleum embargo or tariffs, both being considered by Trump, would stop that – to the detriment of “free markets” , the Europeans and the Chinese – all of whom are up feces creek without an outboard motor.
Especially the Chinese. In the ongoing 37 dimensional chess game currently underway, their loss of Panama Canal control, Venezuela oil and now Iranian oil is an existential crisis and maybe, just maybe, This Is All About Them. And with severely depleted US munitions (starting with Ukraine – remember them?), with both the Lincon and Ford aircraft carriers on the sidelines and with both US Marine MEUs headed to the other side of the world, China has got to be looking at Taiwan right now the was a flash mob looks at an LA jewelry store.
So much chaos.
Lol. I misspelled “way”. John, you misspelled “Learing Centers”. How recursive is that!
https://www.zerohedge.com/political/nigerian-researchers-accidentally-confirm-africas-low-iq-problem
Fixed! I blame autocorrect.
And it’s also the Trump pump . . . things are great . . . things are bad . . . market up . . . market down . . .
John – – You mentioned that China’s air defense systems did not work effectively against our Air Force.
True, but we need to understand that no nation supplies its very best (top of the line quality) when selling armaments abroad.
Thus, it is false bravado for the US to consider CCP armaments to be of inferior quality. We used some of our very best equipment while Iran used the best they could scrounge given the sanctions they were faced with.
One can predict that in the future, peer-to-peer conflicts are likely to result in stalemates like the Ruskie-Ukie Conflict, that is, until they go nuclear.
It’s quite possible that $39 trillion in debt will be looked back on as The Good Old Days. Like having a $2k debt on your Sears card in the 90’s. A nothing burger, looking back.
A whole lot of “well-read” folks have, apparently, never read the Old Testament. Go against, or even bet against, Israel at your own peril.
These days are a replay of the Covid hysteria times; we get to find out who amongst us are the panicking pussies during stress and uncertainty. No, God doesn’t hate you. But he’s disappointed.
That is a good point – the tanks we sent to Ukraine were 1980s vintage, I think.
How about “I’d walk a mile for a pack of Camels!” To carry barrels of oil, natch.
Instead of “Where’s Waldo?” “Where’s Netanyahooo?” My guess is he’s dead meat. But left the Trumpster a “Honey Do” list or an Epstein File leak arises.
Was GM of an Esso Jobber during the 1979 Iran Hostage Crisis. Gas zoomed from 50¢/gal. to $1.20 in a few months. Drunk idiots would vandalize gas pumps weekly. The last number on your license plate dictated which day you could fill up. Oh, sorry. Buy 8 or 10 gallons, depending on which state you lived in.
This is far, far worse. No fertilizer, and gas rationing to marketers is on the horizon. Enjoy “Happy Motoring” (old Esso ad slogan) while waiting in a gas pump line!
Fertilizer is a big one, and won’t wait, and you can’t make a deal it into existence.
I think we have maybe a month before the meat and produce prices soar.
Yup.
I read some interesting things on Matt Bracken’s Substack this morning (03/23). Looks like we have a TACO going on. The Golden Golem has backed off and is declaring a “cease fire” with “negotiations in progress.” But the “Rest of the story” is Vance and Rubio got to the POTUS and threatened to resign if he did not back away from being Bibi’s bitch. Trumps Dragon Lady Chief of Staff is another looney tunes “Christian Zionist” who, along with the Butt Pirate Graham and the Canadian Texan Cruz, were badgering Trump to start this kerfuffle. I guess we will all just have to stay tuned and see if the Mullahs continue to blow Tel Aviv to bits. Life is a vale of tears.
Lol. Respectfully, “veil”.
Hmm. I always thought it was a valley of tears….
Huh. You are right and I am wrong. I always thought it was tears continually streaming down one’s face in riddles, making a veil.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vale_of_tears
Sorry. My bad.
Er, rivulets.
But not rivets. Or ribbits.
See, this is how arguments should work out here, since almost always we’re on the same side.
Riddle of Tears would make a goid Emo band name.
Sir: Vale is an archaic term for valley. It is part of a series of prayers recited at the end of Mass for the conversion of the Soviet Union. I grew up in the early 1950’s.
I like tacos.
LOL the uniparty is running the show they could care less for Israel, who will be thrown under the bus until they are alone…then it will happen
We’ll see what happens. It’s pre-market, so it’s (spins wheel) peace.
It’s a tremendous show. I keep wondering what’s going on behind the curtains.
We’ll never know, because truth is the first casualty of struggles like this.
Yeah, Vlad had a point.
We’ll see where we are next week.
It’s a cumbersome process to post a name here when using a tablet. I’m good with “anonymous” though.
Works for me!!!
here’s a prediction say 2-3 year timeline all investment accounts will be converted to digital treasuries and we might even have withdrawal rights. The whole country is going to be robbed
son24-
They’ll go the Stablecoin route to do that, IMO.
Could be all I am sure of is that us working foks are going to be robbed by the uniparty
Bingo.
Iran has already won.
Within six months we will no longer have any military bases in the Middle East, Israel will be either hobbled back to their 1947 boundaries or eliminated completely and we will be in the midst of a depression throughout the Western hemisphere.
The Triads (CIA/MI6/Mossad) attempt to balkanize Iran has failed. Jews will no longer succeed with their Greater Israel project.
The world is changing dramatically.
I’ve seen some data that might indicate that you’re right.
Order out of chaos.
And this is more chaos . . .