Teutoburg Forest And Immigration Policy

“What of Arminius?” – Spartacus:  Blood and Sand

Ma Wilder yelled at me after I went jogging with Julius and Augustus.  “Never run with a pair of Caesars!”  (most memes as-found)

It was September 7, 9 A.D.

Like ducks, three Roman legions comprising 20,000 to 30,000 men under the command of Publius Quinctilius Varus were looking to head south for the winter.  Romans campaigned in the summer in Germany, and then went back across the Rhine for their winter camps where they, I don’t know, drank wine.  Maybe the men of the XVII, XVIII, and XIX legions studied hard for their Roman Legionnaire test in hopes of getting a C after having V beers?

Anyway, this trip home for the winter, one of the officers advising Varus was a 27-year-old named Arminius.  Arminius, likely the son of a German nobleman, had been taken as a hostage from a German tribe at around the age of 10.  For 17 years, Arminius had been raised in Rome, gone to Roman schools, been given Roman military training, and was even raised to the social rank of Equestrian, the second highest social rank at the time.

Arminius, knowing the country, told Varus that he knew a shortcut back to the winter quarters.  It would be easy, and they could make a side stop along the way to show some Germanic tribes that had been FA the FO part.

A shortcut and a smackdown:  two problems with one solution.

All they had to do was skip the well-known and well-guarded path home and go through a forest or two.  “And who doesn’t like a trip through the forest?  It even has a cool name, the Teutoburg Forest.

“It’ll be the trip of a lifetime!”

Varus:  “It’s scary in the forest.”  Arminius:  “You’re scared?  I have to walk out of here alone.”

Now, moving 20,000 to 30,000 guys isn’t easy, and it was especially hard because rather than having a wide space to move through, the Roman column was likely over 10 miles long.  Oh, and Arminius told Varus, “Hey, I’ll take all these German auxiliary troops and go get the rest of the guys to support you.  Don’t worry, I’ll leave you some of my best guys who know the country.  They’re totally not spies.”

While the Romans were in the long line, they were attacked by forest Germans.  Not a lot, just enough tire out the Romans and damage their supplies.  When this big snake of an army finally finished up for the day, they got to a strong fort that the first-arriving legionnaires had erected, making it a good, strong Roman erection.

Oh, and those totally not spies?  They disappeared by the 9th.

Shapes that commit crimes are often sentenced to prism.

Then it started raining.  A lot.  The Romans decided to try to escape by going forward.  On muddy ground, where the only choice was walking right next to the forest or in the swamp.  And the path was covered in trees that had been knocked down, slowing them down.

As this was an ambush, the Germans were well prepared, had cover, and even had made walls so they could attack the Romans without exposing themselves.

The result was a slaughter.  There are a lot of details, but Varus ended up literally falling on his own sword in the approved manner for being such an idiot, though his head did make a Planes, Trains, and Automobiles-style trip back to Rome.  The three legions themselves were shattered.  I’d use the word decimated, but that would indicate that only one out of ten was killed.  Nope, in this case Arminius and the Germans killed most of the Romans in battle, sacrificed the officers, and enslaved a few of the common troops.

It was all over by September 11.

Why was 10 scared?  He was in the middle of 9/11.

This wasn’t where it ended, no.  The Germanic tribes wiped out all Roman military presence east of the Rhine.  This was a decisive victory and ended Rome’s desire to conquer the Germanic tribes as it had Gaul.  It also led to this quote attributed to Caesar Augustus:  “Quintilius Varus, give me back my legions!”

Augustus was miffed.  And Rome was miffed.  But the Germanic tribes lived on.

Tacitus records that in 15 A.D., when the Roman military commander and father of future Roman Caesar Caligula, Germanicus, visited the Teotoburg Forest battle site that there were “bones scattered across the ground” along with “fragments of weapons and limbs of horses”.  Oh, and human heads, nailed to tree trunks.

Augustus used to prank his praetorian guard by pretending to choke on his food.  It’s an old gag.

I came away from thinking about this battle with several ideas.  The most important one was Arminius himself.  Despite being given nearly every advantage that Roman society had to offer, Arminius was never Roman.  He was brilliant, he was exceptional enough to be given military leadership, and he had spent seven more years as a Roman than the ten he had as a German.

But there was no amount of Rome that would make Arminius less German.  And, rightly, Arminius is a hero to Germans.

That forest was really full of Germans that day.  You could say it was krauted.

But he’s also a warning to Americans.

As I look to the United States today, I see a country that is fragmented in many ways that Rome wasn’t at the time.  How many more soldiers like Major Nidal Malik Hassan, who killed 14 people and shot 32 others trying to kill them are in the armed forces?

It’s not just moslems, though, it’s every single person inside our borders that is against the traditional Western values that made the nation is a potential Arminius.  Every business leader that loots America and hollows it out for their home nation is a potential Arminius.  How is it legal that an Indian CEO of Microsoft© fired thousands of Americans at the same time he hired his countrymen in nearly exactly the same number on H-1B visas to fill those jobs?

Never forget what they really think of us.

Arminius is a hero to Germans, at least the ones that don’t speak Arabic at home.  But he’s also a warning to all of Western Civilization that taking the advice of foreigners or people with a primary allegiance against you and who want to take you into dense dark forests is still a pretty bad idea. I’m C percent sure.

Author: John

Nobel-Prize Winning, MacArthur Genius Grant Near Recipient writing to you regularly about Fitness, Wealth, and Wisdom - How to be happy and how to be healthy. Oh, and rich.

40 thoughts on “Teutoburg Forest And Immigration Policy”

  1. The forest is your friend to escape Clown World.
    The hoot owls and deer won’t bother you if you don’t bother them.
    Under Satan’s Authority is all about foreigners and service to them.

  3. Well said Sir. We have not won a war in 50 years. And if you want to find foreigners look at the big three defense contractors they are chock full of asians of all flavors, moslems, and dei activists. This situation is not a won’t end well situation it is a can’t end well situation.

      1. Yea winning is building your enemies countries back and then buying all their products. Rome took their stuff levied taxes and incorporated part of their militaries.

        It is quite obvious that ALL of our leadership is wanting the country to fail and Lamont has a good point 2028 is going to be a barn burner.

        1. Soldiers won that war in a 5 year period through technological superiority, guts and sacrifice. Politicians and captains of industry lost that peace over a 50 year period through greed, offshoring and immigration policies. Not to mention a maze of spook honeypots and bribes – lookin’ at you, Lolita Express passenger manifest.

          1. The US “won” that war because 80% of the German Army and Air Force was tied up losing to the Russians…If the Germans had 200 planes available on D-Day, not 2, the allied forces would never have gotten off the beaches….

          2. I will happily add “luck” and “the Russian / Eastern Front” to my other three key items listed above. Regarding the “luck” factor, consider the recent movie Pressure…

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdM4tdLQBg0

            But (according to Google AI, which you should never never trust with serious questions) the Germans had about 300, not 2, aircraft available to repel the D-Day invasion. However, they were outnumbered 30 to 1 by the 13,000 Allied aircraft used during Operation Overlord. You are correct, though, that the German air force was preoccupied elsewhere on D Day… around 1500 aircraft defending the Fatherland from Allied raids and 1000 or so on the Russian Front providing close air support to German ground troops.

            The Battle of Britain four years earlier was also pretty rough on the Luftwaffe – they lost almost 3500 airmen and 2000 aircraft, around three-quarters of what they had. The British lost over 1700 aircraft – an even higher percentage of their total at 88% – and over 500 pilots.

            Truly winning a war costs a higher price than we seem to be willing to pay these days-bright red blood instead of inflated green money buying easily depleted missile stockpiles fit only for a quick push-button war.

      1. We have “dual citizens” full stop.

        Two things. First, the empire has converted blood into paperwork. Second, the empire has codified paperwork as the highest moral, social, and spiritual expression.

        Engaging in ANYTHING within the empire accepts those premises as a contract of adhesion, i.e. the terms of service you can’t reject if you want to participate.

        Time and again we see this reflection even in the same sentence as a dissident heritage american will lament the Great Progress for how evil it is and then lament even harder that the worst part that is when his service of that evil system fails to appropriately reward him for his service.

        Or disproportionately cost him, as was a central theme expressed during covid when wealth bubble infrastructure charged wealth bubble people for things even though they had to work/school at home. A great insult to the Portfolio American is a sudden change in the membership fees of their (un)principled exceptionalism.

        Once inside the moral and spiritual gates, we negotiate against ourselves for the scraps. That is the world of paper work, paper merchants, money changers, and all who desire Babylon – but offered in a bespoke menu of their liking. The DOE/DOD jobs program is a grift that scales to infinity. Just ask Elon.

          1. Most (or rather any) jobs become “fake” when the financialization, under special protections of the system defined by a small number of power nodes picking the winners and losers of that system, alters the programming such that those jobs are disappeared and the “expenses” saved are then accrued up to the capital owners within those cabals.

            I don’t shed a tear for the bug people who serve the empire getting a dose of their own fakengay, but I also don’t celebrate one of the cabals elevating the act of financial shell games into some sort of moral, or even sage utilitarianism that implies that such acts are good for us workers. See also, “essential worker” vs “non-essential worker” a la covid.

  5. Excellent history lesson with great puns. Reminds me of the 7/7 attacks in London back in 2005 where over 50 were killed and hundreds more seriously injured – not just the attacks, but how the UK processed them as a part of their national identity over the next few decades. Today the London Museum’s webpage has as its 7th sentence their takeaway on the subject, “Muslims suffered increased Islamophobia.”

    https://www.londonmuseum.org.uk/collections/london-stories/7-7-london-bombings/

    According to Google, in 2005 the UK had around 2 million Muslims at 3% of the population. Today it’s over 4 million Muslims at over 6%. But Muslims aren’t the only ones who suffered over the next 20 years:

    https://www.nationalreview.com/2026/06/the-u-k-s-horrific-rape-gangs/

    One guy in Scotland did an impersonation of Michael Douglas in Falling Down over the release of this rape gang report…

    https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZ1VH3RjNGI/

    …but “we shall fight them on the beaches” is passe in today’s Britain. ‘Tis a pity.

    https://www.nationalreview.com/corner/britains-decision-to-remove-churchill-from-its-banknotes-suggests-that-its-all-but-given-up/

  6. 60 years ago, we Southerners tried to warn what “Civil Rights” were really about. The Chamber Of Commerce gang just saw 13% of the population being supported by White taxes to consume more Fortune 500 products.

    Then “they” refused to mow grass, work at the car wash, wash clothes, mop floors…so we had to let Jose & Conchita in to do those things. Just like them, they’ll never assimilate.

    If the US makes it intact past 2028, I’ll be amazed.

  7. What about the West Point cadet with “communism will win” inside his headgear on graduation day?

  8. Sadly, your gov’t is going to merge your forces with a ton of Loxminuses like lil legs gone who wears another nations flag when he sits in the house, but hey its all kosher…..LOL US & the West only has to look at Rome vs current Italy to see the potential dimming of global power that awaits.

    3. Look at that former Diverse Great Power Austria Hungary. In his memoirs Captain Georg von Trapped wrote that in 1918 the serbs, croats, poles, and Bosnians on his Uboat declined to follow orders. Austria Hungary fell apart into separate countries a few weeks later.

    1. if it happens it will be a food war and you don’t look familiar will be a death sentence without stealing

  10. 60 years ago, we Southerners tried to warn what “Civil Rights” were really about. The Chamber Of Commerce gang just saw 13% of the population being supported by White taxes to consume more Fortune 500 products.

    Then “they” refused to mow grass, work at the car wash, wash clothes, mop floors…so we had to let Jose & Conchita in to do those things. Just like them, they’ll never assimilate.

    If the US makes it intact past 2028, I’ll be amazed.

    2. Amen Brother. Dixie had the misfortune of already being an occupied State when the moral imperatives of the globohomo cultmarx became the highest law of the land.

      The judeo-“christian” merchants with their carpet bags of moral hegemony upon which all spice flows is a model that we have subsequently been witness to in all of the empires post-modern expeditions but seem to forget that it was our South that first “discovered” the moral transition from freeman into domesticus economicus americanus.

      The fact that all war is total war and all war is personal is another truth that can be avoided with proof of purchase right up to the point that the promotional value goes to zero.

      The merchants rub hands knowing that hot war, cold war, slow war, fast war is a mere matter of appropriately calibrated capital costs. The important part is that they war on us while we negotiate within their briar patch of economics and law conjured from their moral fiat to keep our little empires of liquidating posterity safe for another day.

      It is sadly overlooked by many even in Dixie who are quick to draw ire over “Yankees” while their sons are serving ZOG over there and their dirt moving business is making hay from turning dixie into Irvine. Its just business!

      The “USA” is already gone baby gone.

      What we cling to is an idea. Just like the other side with their blank-slate proposition nation lubed up with the rendered fat of our Grandsons lamb. They want us debating ideas. “National Conversations” and the like. While the Truth sits in the corner like an “incel” loser who can’t get laid for reasons that no man will take away from his little princess in law school. Cake/Eat.

      And thus, we remain on their plantation. Just as Dixie laid in “reconstruction” that goes to this day. Blacks sanctified, enter the mexicans, pajeets, etc.

      What have we, by the time the nonbinary trans Fonzi on his SpaceX E-bike jumps the data center cooling tanks filled with vegan sharks? Why, they have certainly gone too far this time!

      By the time “war” comes. The paymasters have already decided on the spoils.

      But I still favor sooner over later. For my own greed for a reckoning on my watch and not my sons’. I should probably fatten myself up for the great calorie wars but I’m too vain. So, there is a small tear growing in the corner of my eye for my favorite ducks and chickens, knowing that they will taste delicious, but had to go the front because I was too jaded over sleeve-tat influencer war profiteering to stack another rack of mypatriotsupply.com rations.

      War is hell, especially when you pretend its not happening already.

  11. Current Forced Infiltration of medical care by towel heads and curry breath is appalling. Planting the dark forest in the midst of our support area. Medical care is secondary to personal financial and social gains; and this inversion of priorities infects the whole facility quickly.

      1. That will change as they become enriched. However, citizenship is voted on, so not the same way that the Swedes let anyone in.

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