“We’re put on this earth to do a job. And each of us gets the time we get to do it. And when this life is over and you stand in front of the Lord . . . well, you try tellin’ him it was all some Frenchman’s joke.” – Fargo (Series)
The Boy on his day job, attacking dragons, lions, and the French. He’s pretty good with that, since we haven’t seen any of those around here recently.
Nothing has a greater influence on the well-being of a man than the work he does and how significant it is. Studies have shown that doing good, significant work increases testosterone levels, decreases anxiety, decreases depression, and increases the likelihood of developing super powers, like fingernails that grow on command, or advanced control of nostril hair. I’m just kidding – decreased anxiety, how ludicrous!
I know you’re thinking, “John Wilder, how can you make such an outrageous claim!” but I assure you, thousands of scientists have been working for decades just to prove me right. Oh, and Gallup, Incorporated® did an actual study that proved exactly what I’m saying.
Their study came out in the book, First Break All The Rules. You can buy it (and I do recommend this book) here . (Full disclosure, at some point I might get around to monetizing these links, but as of the date of this posting, not yet.)
The authors, Buckingham and Coffman (like many business book authors) manage to pack a decent five pages worth of material into the current edition’s 368 pages. Also, other folks (consultants) glom on to it with, I’m sure, tests, powerpoints, websites, charts, and four day training courses in Orlando in the off season, complete with a coffee bar and a buffet lunch with an added spousal event where the spouses go and tour Epcot, get to take a photo with Walt Disney’s frozen corpse, and drink mojitos all day long.
But back to the book . . .
The book is based on 1.5+ million hours of interviews with over 80,000 managers over the span of years. Gallup then looked at which of these businesses were highly productive and profitable, and, rather than come up with a theory, just looked at what the data said about these high-performing organizations. What came out of it were 12 questions that determined employee engagement. Crazy idea – if employees are engaged at work, the place gets profitable?
What sort of sorcery is this?
Here are the 12 questions, and it’s important to note that they are in order. The first question matters more than question 12. I know that there are those of you who say all questions should be equal, and they are. Some are just more equal than others.
- Do I know what is expected of me at work? This one is top of the list.
I’ve had managers who give you a desk and say, go do it. What is “it”? Nope, the only thing you see is a contrail as they head away from your desk at nearly lightspeed. Then you’re left guessing at what “it” is. This turns work into an eternal game of “warmer”/”colder”, assuming that your boss even gives you that kind of feedback.
I’ve also had bosses who say – “go fix the thing – I don’t care what you do, just don’t break the law or spend more than $10,000,000.” Those are actually really clear expectations. I like bosses like that. And they like me.
- Do I have the material and equipment to do my work right?
If you know that you’re in charge of the Canadian space program (Is it called CASA?) and they expect you to create a manned space expedition to Mars within ten years, eh, you certainly have clear expectations. But if they only give you two dog teams, some moosehides, and the retired Mounties from Saskatchewan, well, you’re going to be as frustrated and conflicted as a vegan poodle in a butcher shop.
- Do I have the opportunity to do what I do best every day?
I can recall finishing a project (it took 45 straight 12 to 16 hour days) and watching as the last piece went into place. What I did in those 45 days was what I do best – and it was wonderful, and I was in the zone. I saved my company tens of millions of dollars.
But I’ve also been in the job where I was tasked with correctly folding up manufacturing drawings. Yay! More folding! But, within two months I was doing research for the company (and, accidently recreated Soviet research into the perfect railroad tie). It got better.
However, there are places where you’ll never get to do what you do best. Imagine Seth Rogan teaching physics to high school students? Yeah, that probably isn’t where he’d be best used, unless the class was really titled: “The Physics of Marijuana, Dude.” At some point, if the company can’t use what you do best, you’ve gotta hit the rip cord and bail out of there (the preceding does not constitute parachuting advice nor parachute training).
These first three form a triad – they speak to having clear purpose, tools, talent and using them all to create value. This is food for the soul of the deepest level. If you have these three elements at work, you are happy at work, and generally also happy at home.
The other elements are also important, but decrease in importance as we go:
- In the last seven days, have I received praise or recognition for good work?
Most of us are people (technically The Boy isn’t, since he is an android sent from the future to destroy the popularity of Justin Beiber by bombarding Beiber’s brain with dank Twitter memes) and people like to have their good points brought up. Funny, huh?
- Does my supervisor or someone at work care about me as a person?
Ditto. I like to work with people that want me to keep breathing. It’s nice when you walk in and have a cup of coffee with a coworker and they genuinely pretend to being interested in my boring life. Your mileage may vary, but still not as important as doing important work well, though it can be a partial substitute if your employer is slowly eating your soul.
- Is there someone at work who encourages my development?
I think that no matter our age, we all want to improve, do better, and want the advice of people we respect to help us grow, because those are people that can become our mentors. Not Mentos™. Mentors. They are different things, though both can be minty.
- At work, do my opinions count?
I’m sorry – I wasn’t listening? Did you say something?
- Does the mission or purpose of my company make me feel that my job is important?
Let’s pretend that all the questions above this are answered with YES! In that case, you’re probably happy, unless your job requires you to grind kittens into Kitten Chow™.
That’s how it’s made, right?
- Are my coworkers committed to quality work?
If the people you work with do bad work, goof off, or are in some other way not contributing, I know you don’t like it, because if you’re reading this, you’re smarter and have great character and probably don’t need deodorant because your body gives off a faint scent of sandlewood whenever you sweat. But if your coworkers are trolls from the reject pile that do work like poo flinging monkeys? Yeah, takes a bit out of your pride of doing work.
On the plus side? You’d think you’d get a good performance review, unless your boss is threatened by you and your genius and natural sandlewood smell. Then you’ll get a review that says you don’t fling enough poo.
An aside at an appropriate place: Pugsley just told me, “For a writer, you’re a pretty good typist.” Thanks, pal.
- Do I have a best friend at work?
Not a killer if you don’t, but really nice if you do. When you go home, explaining to your spouse the poo flinging monkeys that you have to deal with at work is like explaining to Albanian lawyers (who have offices in a strip mall) how a photocopier works. Frustrating at best. Amusing when the Albanian Strip Mall Lawyers go at the copier with pliers and some Allen wrenches left over from an Ikea© bookcase assembly. (Spoiler alert: the NEVER ACTUALLY FIX it, but they go at it with gusto!)
Is it just me, or did anyone else ever assemble an Ikea bookcase and end up with a functional hovercraft?
Oops – big digression. Having a friend at work makes you want to stay there. Duh.
- In the last six months, has someone talked to me about my progress?
Getting toward the end (keep in mind, less important as we go down) – this is a variation on point 6 – the concept that humans want to be more effective and to have someone they respect tell them how well they’re doing. Honestly, that’s what we want – someone to tell us how awesome we are. It is a rare person who wants actual truth.
And, as a manager, after a long time doing it? I gave ‘em both barrels in annual reviews. Full on truth. But HR was getting none of that truth – HR exists to justify why you fire employees and reduce their benefits to those of a typical Botswanan goatherd, so when you ding an employee on a review, they start circling like high school students around a dank meme.
Don’t give them that dank meme! (Also, would someone please tell me what a dank meme is?)
Urban Dictionary says:
“Dank Memes” is an ironic expression used to mock online viral media and in-jokes that have exhausted their comedic value to the point of being trite or cliché. In this context, the word “dank,” originally coined as a term for high quality marijuana, is satirically used as a synonym for “cool.”
So, now you know.
- In the last year, have I had the opportunity to work and grow?
I have had that opportunity! Most of the growth, unfortunately, was due to Pop Tarts©. So, Pop Tarts™ were introduced in 1964. Winston Churchill® died in 1965. Coincidence? No. The carby goodness of Pop Tarts© was created to kill world leaders. Avoid the trap! Especially the strawberry ones.
As a set of questions for leaders to gauge the environment they create? Priceless. These 12 questions are wonderful in that respect. Every leader should strive to create an environment where they get the most out of their employees, not only because it benefits the business, it also benefits the employee.
I have at least two more topics that are directly related to this, and I’m over 1900 words on this post right now.
Okay. I give up.
This is my first unanticipated two or more part post. In the near future? IQ and the workplace of the future. Not that this will be an important topic to anyone. Or, really, everyone.
Okay, really, it is everyone who will be impacted by this, we’re on to a trend that will determine all of future life for humans in Western civilization for at least the next 80 years. But that’s too scary to think about right now.
So now? I’m just going to make my fingernails grow like crazy!